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Cynique

Thoughts on an Autumn Afternoon

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Because I can’t keep up with the upkeep, I am giving up the old homestead, and am accepting my oldest daughter’s invitation to move in with her, something that will convenience rather than inconvenience her circumstances.

Having resided at my present home for almost 40 years, the prospect of disposing of all of my possessions entails dealing with a lot of logistics as well as emotional baggage. Along with this, strange things have started to happen in connection with my re-locating.

I find myself wondering if my persona has imbued my house, and it has become a brick and mortar version of me. Why? Because it’s like the house doesn’t want the physical me to separate from it. All of the problems that were contributing to my decision to move have solved themselves.

After extensive flooding in my basement, I was sure my washer, dryer, and furnace were all dead and having them replaced and repaired was prohibitive. It turns out they were only in a coma and have all come back to life and are now working fine.

My old refrigerator seemed to have forgotten what its function was, but then it spontaneously remembered and is now keeping food, and especially soft drinks ice cold.

The pilot went out on the eyes of my stove. Not a problem. A book of matches works just as well.

The images that were breaking up on certain TV channels no longer do this. My computer mysteriously repaired itself after I couldn't get on line for days.

But, - alone at night, I still experience paranormal phenomenon. Strange noises and lights are common. My body often feels like I am sharing it with - "something". When awaking from a deep sleep, I see people whom I don’t know. I won’t even go into the weird dreams I have.

Crazy. The longer I live, the more I realize that there is more to life than the human mind can fathom. I also know I’m kinda tired of this version of my existence. I think I’m ready to move on. New horizons invite.

Stop yawning.

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When I was younger I thought I would always want to live forever. Now I can image that would be a living hell.

Crazy? No. Probably very, very normal. You are just conscious of the change.

I miss my children when they were at the toddler stage. The were fun to play with and really into their Dad. But I would not want them to stay at the stage forever. They have to grow up, move on. I'll always miss them at that age, but I'm also really looking forward to seeing become graceful, mature adults. Which will prepare them for whatever the next stage is...

... and I would no sooner hold them from that next stage than I would have held them going from childhood to adulthood.

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But, - alone at night, I still experience paranormal phenomenon. Strange noises and lights are common. My body often feels like I am sharing it with - "something". When awaking from a deep sleep, I see people whom I don’t know. I won’t even go into the weird dreams I have.

"Oh allright! It is I, Cynique. Long have you suspected that the Varnado the Vampyre story is autobiographical. It is. It is me, there! Lurking in the shadows in the interstices between reality....and the TWILIGHT ZONE!

Do you see me yet? I am coming! I am coming ta GIT cha!

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When I was younger I thought I would always want to live forever. Now I can image that would be a living hell.

Depends on what age and physical condition you would be living at and what would be the state of your health (even though you would not die).....

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Depends on what age and physical condition you would be living at and what would be the state of your health (even though you would not die).....

Xeon, assuming you were perfectly healthy able to learn and do whatever you wanted (sort of like a day walking vampire).

Ultimately after say 1,000 years the other mortal humans would seem like retarded children.

You would be alone in the world. No one to relate to. Relatively speaking, time would move so quickly for you that even the reltionships you could develop would be over as soon as they started -- the normal human life span would be flash in the pan compared to yours.

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