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Robert Alfred Taylor Jr

RELATIONSHIPS

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Hello Everyone,

I'm new to Thumper's Corner and I would like to introduce myself. My name is Robert Alfred Taylor Jr. the new author of RELATIONSHIPS, The Complete Black Men's Guide to Developing Healthy Relationships, You Can't Practice What you Do Not Know, Treat her Like a Lady.

I'm a native of Kansas City, Missouri. I have traveled the country and during my travels I have noticed that black men across America have lost their way when it comes to pursuing, developing and maintaining healthy relationships with women. Now don't get me wrong it is not just the brother's who are having this problem, it's men of all nationalities. By me being a black man living in the black community I had to write a book(Guide)directed toward the brother's because I live around the negative behavior that is displayed in our neigborhoods by black men towards black women.

I would like to invite each of you all to my website: www.Relationshipsbyroberttaylor.com. You can also look me up on facebook as well.

I would love to hear what you all think about this topic. Thanks! My book can be purchased at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com as well as Xlibris.com. Other places to find me are twitter, shelfari, goodreads and flickr!

Thanks for your time. I look forward to hearing from you all!

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Oh-oh! As a member of the punctuation police, my alarm is going off! Apostrophes! :huh:

Why would you use apostrophes in the second paragraph of your summary? Instead of brother's it should just be brothers since you are simply using the plural of a noun, a form which does not call for an apostrophe which is a puctuation mark used to show either possession, as in my brother's book, or as a contraction, as in my brother's writing a book, which is a contraction of my brother is writing a book.

Also, think about your phrase: "The Complete Black Men's Guide to Developing Healthy Relationships." If a black man is "complete", he doesn't need a guide to developing a healthy relationship and since "men" is a plural noun, the apostrophe comes after the "s" to show possession. So, this phrase should read: "The Black Mens' Complete Guide to Developing Healthy Relationships".

Now, stew a moment over my criticism and dismiss me as a "negative, nit-picking bitch" and then let it go. This has simply been a teachable moment. I'm sure your book will do well because your targeted audience is not known for being detailed-oriented. ;) Good Luck.

BTW, whenever I hear the name "Robert Taylor", I am reminded of the movie star matinee idol of the 1930's and 1940's. He was very handsome, suave, and virile and, yes, apostrophes are used to pluralize numbers and letters that stand alone. :D

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Instead of brother's it should just be brothers

You're right on this one, Cynique. The erroneous insertion of apostrophes in plural nouns is epidemic in America.

this phrase should read: "The Black Mens' Complete Guide to Developing Healthy Relationships".

But you're wrong on this one.

Possessive apostrophes come after an s only on words that already end in s in their non-possessive form. In such cases, the second, possessive s is eliminated to avoid the construction s's.

Examples:

Phil's dad has three horses. Phil branded all the horses' asses. When Phil's dad found out, he called his son a horse's ass and whipped Phil's ass.

Mens is not a word in English, so there can be no mens' in correct English. The possessive form of men is indeed men's.

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Cynique/boofan I trust Robert will appreciate you pointing out the problem in the title. The biggest issue is that the intent was to indicate that the guide was complete and not the men.

That said, the premise of the book you; "Can't Practice What you Do Not Know" is a issue see all the time. Brothers (people in general) typically model the behaviors that they see or are taught. If they decide to do something different, because they want a different outcome, then they are forced to reinvent the wheel -- or reference books like Roberts.

The have been a large number of books in relationships published lately. The ones by published by celebrites with no demontrated skill in the area really get on my nerves -- perhaps doing more harm than good.

Robert I would put a longer except on your website: www.Relationshipsbyroberttaylor.com and make it text (not a graphic) that will make it easier fro someone to copy to an electronic device or print to read off line.

The other thing I look for in these types of books is what makes you and expert or otherwise qualified to give advice on the subject. Whatever those credentials are I would add them to your website.

Is the information you provide purely anecdotal or the result of extensive research. If it is the result of research, how much time did you take to compile it and what was the nature of the research? Add that to your site as well.

Finally email Kam Williams a description of your book, he will consider it for review on AALBC.com.

Good luck with your project and thanks for popping by

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I would like to thank everyone for their responses to my post yesterday. But the real issue here is there is a really big problem in America with our black men. I appreciate all of the writing tips. The focus was supposed to be on Relationships and helping out our young black men. Thanks Troy for noticing that! I was married for 7 years and in that relationship had a beautiful daughter. I have been divorced for 6 years now. I have interviewed single and married men and women on the topic of relationships. The feedback I have received was very informative and mind boggling as well. Along with people watching as I traveled to certain cities I noticed that there was a really big problem that did not just exist in my community but in other inner city communities as well. The problems are sagging pants worn by men and women, disrespect towards each other, violence, lack of positive communication along with other things that lead to relationship disaster. I saw a problem and decided I needed to do something to help rectify the situation. I never claimed to be an relationship expert, but I do claim to be someone who cares about people. People tend to get caught up in their professional titles and forget what they are really here to do. The ultimate goal is to help each other. If we can start helping more and start critiqing less we will excel and move forward as a people. And this goes for all people in all communities. I do hope everyone takes the time to read my book and then I believe you will understand what it is that I'am trying to do. It is a guide, a blueprint for men young and old. A guide showing men how to pursue, develop and maintain healthy relationships. Again thanks! Troy, I will do as you suggested. Thanks everyone.

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Hey Robert, your intent was not lost on the others. Issues with editting can adversely inpact a book's effectiveness -- no matter how well intentioned.

Thanks for sharing information about your book here.

No one will pull punches here :) and that frightens folks sometimes.

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Thanks for the heads up, bookfan. I knew I was on shaky ground with the "men's" thing. I let it stand in my initial post and then went back and edited it. I knew that to show possessiveness for a noun that ends in "s" that the apostrophe comes after the "s" and when I checked the dictionary just to make sure I didn't see anything specific about collective nouns like "men".

BTW, in the black vernacular there is such as word as "Mens". ;)

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Robert,

Your title is fine. It's in the same style as The Compleat Angler, one of the most famous guides ever published.

Welcome to TC. Congratulations on your book, and good luck.

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Robert,

Your title is fine. It's in the same style as The Compleat Angler, one of the most famous guides ever published.

Welcome to TC. Congratulations on your book, and good luck.

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bookfan, you rival me when it comes to being a know-it-all. I realize that you subconsciously consider your approval of anything on this site as a form of anointment, but I beg to differ with your paternalistic pat on Robert's head as demonstrated above. As Troy and I pointed out, the title of the book "The Complete Black Men's Guide to Developing Healthy Relationships" was misleading because a "complete black man" wouldn't need a guide to a healthy relationship, so the title would be better stated as "The Black Men's Complete Guide To More Healthy Realtionships". Of course maybe you think there's no such thing as a "complete black man". (And as far as the Compleat Angler goes, "compleat" is a perfectly acceptable archaic form of the word complete.}

Yes, I was in error when I corrected Mr. Taylor's placement of the apostrophe, something I stumbled on because I thought that since there is such a usuage as "peoples", as in the peoples of the world, that this might also apply to the word "mens". But I was wrong. Thank you for setting me straight.

To Robert Taylor, I say don't underestimate the value of controversy where a book is concerned. Any kind of publicity can be good publicity and my critique will gain you fans because there are a lot of people who resent pedants like me. And, as I previously said, you are free to dismiss my pointing out the lapses that take away from the professionalism of a book.

Like everybody else, I wish you luck on your manual. There's no reason for me to do otherwise. You are to be commended for wanting to improve relationships between the brothas and sistas; an endeavor where luck will definitely come in handy. :D

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Of course maybe you think there's no such thing as a "complete black man".

Whoa. A few more like that and my list will rival Carey’s.

Cynique, let me ask you something that was already on my mind before this: do you find me "patronizing" and "paternalistic" in a racial way, or just in general?

I know things have gotten to the point where I’m mostly just talking to myself here, so I’d been thinking about why that is. When Chris said that "we" already knew all about the trans-atlantic slave trade, for example, it occurred to me later that maybe he was making a point about the white guy talking to black people like he knew something they didn't. Is the way I talk about racial issues (or the fact that I even talk about them at all) obnoxious? I’d be interested in hearing what anyone else thinks about this, too. The anonymity and brutal frankness of a web forum make this seem like an easier opportunity to take than with someone I know personally.

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BOOKFAN,

Allow me to speak for myself and no one else for a moment.

Let me tell you HOW YOU HELPED ME GET A BOOK DEAL.

You made a major vicious (and I mean vicious) attack on me on this board

claiming that there was no ancient song entitled "The Beautiful One Are Not Yet Born."

You claimed that I had blithely stolen this from a 1990's West African author's book

title (not that titles can be copy-written or used in only way).

One of my editors, an expert on African musical instruments in the middle East (not Black)

saw our exchange and saw you for what you actually are.

You had called me a "liar" and demeaned me without any fair consideration or genial respect.

You went on to list endless claims of me being "fraudulent" and a "liar"---assignations that

neither you, Cynique or anyone here has ever proven in the light of day with me present.

NOW...after said Editor contacted me to congratulate me on the video & my singing, he went

on to tell me how he had been raised party in KENYA in 1950's and was sung that song every night

as a lullaby by his Bantu Kenyan Nanny.

He is also Arab and knew much of the historical dogma that I sing throughout the song.

AFTER THAT.....

A few months later, you did it again!!

This time you claimed that I was not in contact with Angela Davis and that I had stolen portions

of Gloria Naylor's book "1996" and that I was not on a list of Immigrant Authors being targeted

by an F.B.I. sting.

Well it was lucky for MY CREDIBILITY that you did that. Because all the parties involved were

able to see what I go through with people like you and tell others within the industry that ---"Kola

is not lying about this. She is the one whose phone number came up in France, Germany & Bahrain as the

other authors had been chatting with her."

For the record...my COMPLETE complaints about the F.B.I. were posted BY ME on this board YEARS

BEFORE Gloria's book came out. I was always teased by Cynique, Thumper, Mzuri and others here who claimed

I was crazy or whatever--when in fact, that was my real life.

Group Attorney Cheryl Welch, a close friend of both Gloria Naylor and myself, was especially stunned by

the level of hostility you employed in trying to mow me down.

THING IS...the more you tried to discredit me...the more people like Derrick Bell, Angela, Gloria

and so many others got to see how outrageous and mean-spirited you and your kind are when Black people

attempt to tell THEIR STORY-THEIR TRUTH.

My advice to people like you is to always be fair and somewhat humble in stating your positions. And to

present Concrete Evidence in your claims about people.

Because that's why I'm still here....I present EVIDENCE showing how I'm lied on and mis-portrayed by

erroneous critics who apparently hate & degrade me for their own personal prejudices.

THINK whatever you want to think, but that doesn't change the truth.

You can't discredit what's real.

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Whoa. A few more like that and my list will rival Carey’s.

Cynique, let me ask you something that was already on my mind before this: do you find me "patronizing" and "paternalistic" in a racial way, or just in general?

I know things have gotten to the point where I’m mostly just talking to myself here, so I’d been thinking about why that is. When Chris said that "we" already knew all about the trans-atlantic slave trade, for example, it occurred to me later that maybe he was making a point about the white guy talking to black people like he knew something they didn't. Is the way I talk about racial issues (or the fact that I even talk about them at all) obnoxious? I’d be interested in hearing what anyone else thinks about this, too. The anonymity and brutal frankness of a web forum make this seem like an easier opportunity to take than with someone I know personally.

Wellllll, bookfan, in response to your request, to me you come across as a square, well-meaning, white guy - the antithesis of the hipness and insouciance that embody the black mystique. And I sometimes get the feeling that Blacks are like specimens to you, - like life-forms to be examined under the fascination of your microscope. You always seem to be monitoring our behavior and extrapolating about our numbers, doing so from a position of entitlement. You benignly put up with our digs because you know that, when all is said and done, your whiteness makes you immune to any serious damage from us "po ol niggas".

Of course, you’re free to try and familiarize yourself with blackness. - for whatever reason. But, cynic that I am, your knee-jerk bleeding heart concern with the plight of the underdog too often bespeaks of a person with a need to wallow in the pseudo humanitarianism that makes him feel good about himself, - especially when it involves your implicit empathy with minorities. And I’m not so sure that there isn’t an unconscious correlation between this and your affiliation with PETA.

Granted, there’s no necessity to be unduly cruel to animals, but who’s in control here? Using their hides for clothing and their bodies for food contribute to the well-being of Mankind, and spawn industries that put the population to work. Nourishing and employing humans takes priority over the welfare of snarling animals who, if left to their own devices, would prey upon people. IMO.

Of course any person who doesn’t agree with my opposition to PETA can pursue a lifestyle aligned with the philosophy of this organization. Not wanting to kill a disease-carrying mosquito who is sucking one’s blood, is an individual choice. But it is not an option that should be imposed on others, or a reason for fanatical mobs of rodent lovers to harass those exercising their human rights. But I digress. Suffice to say that very few black people were up in arms about Michael Vick's involvement in dog fights. They didn't approve but they were not frothing at the mouth, and thought he should've simply be given a slap on the wrist. I doubt if you felt this way. And that's why you could never become an honorary black man. ;)

So, bookfan, you requested my opinion of you and there it is. But my criticism doesn’t mean that I dislike you or wish that you’d to stop posting here. In your attempt to be relevant, you make interesting contributions to this board, so stick around, and keep me in check. I’ve always felt that there should be those who balance out what others consider to be my negativity; just as what I consider to be my realistic approach balances out the delusions of those who stop by to promote their pipe dreams. :rolleyes:

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Thanks for the feedback, Cynique. I am definitely a kind of cultural tourist here, and tourists rarely make good impressions. I grew up in a place that was a tourist destination. In high school, a friend of mine had a T-shirt that said, "Yes, I live here. And no, I don't answer stupid questions."

Bummed about not making the "relevant" cut, and about washing out on the honorary black man thing. Guess I'll have to stick with token white guy.

But, seriously, the reason I don't bite back is simply that that's not my style. Or maybe that's what I have in the absence of hip and insouciant style.

I thought your repeated PETA comments were just metaphorical, but the Vick stuff is making me think that you're talking literally. I plugged "PETA" into the AALBC search box, and as far as I can tell, the only times that acronym has been used here are the times you have accused me of being a member. This thread appears to have been what got you started.

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I confess to not knowing where I got the impression that you were a PETA person, bookfan. I'm sure your avatar had something to do with it. Until you identified it as a squirrel, I thought it was a rat and I figured anybody who felt a kinship with a rat had to have special feelings for animals. :D Anyhow, I apologize for being presumptuous about your PETA membership and I would've ceased and desisted had you ever protested my giving you this label. :o

BTW, in spite of my analysis of you, I remain puzzled as to why you have gravitated to this black-oriented forum. You are actually a mysterious person of unknown origin, and your expertise in accessing information would make the CIA suspicious. :blink::

Needless, to say I am not in charge here, and do not speak for everybody so don't write yourself off yet when it comes to being a brother from another mother. Troy seems to appreciate you and that's a good sign. :mellow:

In the meantme, I look forward to your next eye-opening contribution to this board. <_<

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