harry brown Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 GHETTO BORN,YOUNG,GIFTED,BLACK,WHATS IN HIS SOUL AND MIND.OF HIMSELF HOW DOES HE DEFIND/OF HIMSELF DOES HE HAVE DESIRE,GREAT EXPECTATIONS/..DOES HE SEEK BLACK HISTORY FOR KNOWLEDGE AND MOTIVATION/.FOR GHETTO OTHERS, DOES HE BRING INSPIRATION/..OR DOES THE GHETTO SELF DESTRUCTION, DESTRUCTION, THE RUINS, SLOWLY CONSUME/.AND HAVE HIM ENTOMBED AND CONTAINED IN A PRISON CELL ROOM/... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDBurns Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Harry, the writing instructor in me has to give you a critique. Do not write using all caps. Poetry is the conservation of language. Poetry allows the writer to convey thoughts in a form that utilizes form and meter in order to break down the conventions of society in a way that is both visually beautiful and creates music to the ear. With that said when you use all caps, you remove the ability for certain words to take center stage because the eye is drawn to the capital letters. More important in internet writing, ALL CAPS = SHOUTING!!!!! and I don't think it's your intent to have each word shouted in this poem. Also the great thing about the message board is it will allow you to use spaces and line breaks which allows for Caesura (pauses in the poem that occur naturally or due to punctuation of line breaks). Go ahead and use the return button instead of shaping the poem like one big paragraph. Other than that I really like the allusion to Richard Wright in the title and would say immediately that a comparison to Brooks' "We Real Cool" would be a appropriate if it was written with better form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Chris you raise an important point. I never really noticed the poetry in Harry Posts. One day another posters (Chris Hayden), pointed out the poetry. I then went back and got it. On a couple of occasions I actually went back an re-wrote Harry's poetry in a more conventional format so that others my get it too. I don't have time to do that any more, but what he writes can be easily missed or dismissed because of the all caps... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDBurns Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 I agree Troy. I've been checking it out, but today was the first day I felt compelled to write something. I'm hoping others begin leaving critiques and spending more time on the site. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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