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About this blog

Real Characters, Real Stories from Real Life.

 

Photo Feb 11, 10 09 40 PM.jpg

Entries in this blog

Mel Hopkins

Blitter, a new social networking app created by Patrick Francis, made its debut on October 5, 2017. The Blitter profile listed in the iTunes Store indicates:

"Blitter is a social network built on love, passion, and empathy. Blitter does not condone racism, sexism, harassment, bots, or hate speech whatsoever. We are 100% independent from any investors and display no ads!"

blitter-page-sq.jpg

 

Frances doesn't make the claim but I suspect Blitter is a mashup of BLACK TWITTER

.

I signed up today. Being an early adopter comes with its own set of anxiety-inducing questions.

 

I've already contacted support to ask why the app hasn’t requested access to my photos.

"Apps that have requested access to your photos will appear here."

It doesn’t. I can access my photos on the app but I didn’t give permission.  I also want to know how the app verifies my identity.   I like the illusion of privacy.   If you decide to leave the network, it’s easy to delete your account.  Some apps, such as HYPEAPP, make it extremely difficult to remove your account.     

 

Once you download the app it’s easy to register on the site.

 

Note: The @ username is the first and last name used to register.     blitter-personal-profile-sq.jpg

 

The app is end-user friendly and intuitive. Click the camera icon and a screen appears that will allow you to add or shoot a 15-second video or photo. Choose the text icon to write a 120-character status.

 

Francis's profile update indicates he’s in the process of updating the app. There should be a new update on Tuesday.

 

Currently, Blitter is only available for IOS devices.

Originally Posted at melhopkins.com

Mel Hopkins

What does it take to get to a Happily Ever After?  

It's 2017 and romance novels are still the best-selling trade books in the America, maybe even the world.

I'd go out on a limb to say the reason is two people always find their happily ever after.  But how about outside the book covers? In life?  What does it take to get HEA?
 In today's podcast, I explore the reality.  Do you have what it takes to hurdle the obstacles to achieve your happy ending?     Transcript available on melhopkinsdotom  in the comment section.  

 

Mel Hopkins

I'd probably watch any Shirley MacLaine movie and while I was online tearing up folks' safe spaces today, I found "The Last Word" .

 

If I had to guess the movie's plot - it would be moppet, (Ann’Jewel Lee ) a young black girl saves old white woman who saves young white woman (Amanda Seyfried).

 

full-1260-women-united.jpg?w=768&h=432

 

Yes, think #blackgirlmagic meets #greypower meets #girlpower where Shirley MacLaine plays Harriet Lauler, a retired Ad Woman working to "shape her legacy" before the last word is written on her life. 

Harriet decides there are 

 

"4 Essential elements to a really great obituary"

  1. The deceased should be loved by their family.
  2. The deceased should be admired by their coworkers.
  3. The deceased must have touched someone's life unexpectedly and if said person was a minority or a cripple; so much the better.  
  4. And the 4th?  That's the wild card.   A statement of such breadth and wonder that it's the opening line in the obituary.  

full-1500-the-last-word.png?w=768&h=369

The Last Word

 

If "life is the sum of your choices" and best revenge is living fabulously ...WYD today?

Before I drift off to sleep at night, I often wonder if I accomplished something that would get me closer to living my dreams.  

I did last night.  I decided to embrace my angry black woman archetype. Yes, I'm a mean woman who loves unconditionally with her whole heart.  I embraced that side of me yesterday.  It was liberating.  Now, I can live.

 

How about you?  

 

Are you living your dreams?  Or are you an extra in someone else's dream?

It's your choice, of course but please have the last word.    


Thank you for reading.  

Please report typos and grammatical errors below or shoot me an email mel at melhopkins dot com.  

Originally posted at melhopkinsdotcom

 

Mel Hopkins

Bridget Jones's Baby is the 3rd installment of the Bridget Jones' saga.


The first one was thoroughly enjoyable.  Second, likable. The third and latest released September 2016 and I absolutely hated it.


The movie made me angry. I stopped watching three times before I finally finished it.   When the final credits finish rolling I almost gave it two stars.  Instead, I gave it three, so not to confuse the Netflix's recommendation algorithm.

 

The next morning, while brushing my teeth, I thought about the movie again.  I stopped brushing and asked myself,

 

"Why did you hate that movie so much?"

 

It's a romantic comedy for goodness sake, I thought. If there's any genre I enjoy more than thrillers, it's RomCom and Action RomCom.   But here we have Bridget Jones in all her goofiness and I'm angry.

 

Here's why. 

 

After celebrating her 43rd birthday with wrinkles to prove it, Bridget goes to a Glastonbury-like music festival where she has unprotected sex with a stranger. We later find out he's tech billionaire, Jack Qwant.

A week later she meets up with her former boyfriend, Human Rights barrister Mark Darcy, for a second time, at a baby christening.   The first time they saw each other, after a long hiatus, was at the funeral of Bridget’s former lover and Mark’s nemesis, Daniel Cleaver.  At the christening. both are serving as god parents and it seems to reignite their old feelings.  Later, they find themselves in bed after Mark reveals he’s getting a divorce. They have sex but the morning after, Bridget decides she doesn’t want to continue the dance the two have been dancing for the last 13 years.


In an unexpected twist, the dance becomes a Do-Si-Do country hoedown for three as Bridget finds herself pregnant.  She doesn’t know whether the father is Jack or Mark.

By the time, we reach this point in the film, I'm angry with her and everyone affiliated with this plot.   In fact, I targeted my anger on white women.  Yep, lovable Bridget Jones became #everywhitewomen and Helen Reddy was singing the anthem.

No, not the Chaka Khan anthem.  #everywhitewomen, you don't get Chaka Khan and Whitney Houston, to sing your anthem.

Then as I'm seething, I realized my anger arose from jealousy.


I noticed there's not one black woman in this flick.  And the black women's absence becomes conspicuous and an ugly reminder that an unwed black woman who doesn't know who fathered her baby is an ugly societal meme.
 

Black woman's absence is reminder that, "It's a White thing", and a black woman just wouldn't understand.

Because as a black woman, I'm not allowed to be frail, clumsy, forgetful or even inept.  I, as a black woman, must be twice as strong, twice as smart, and expected to shoulder the problems of the world with grace...


But, in the immortal words of Elaine Benes, (a character on the show Seinfeld where there's also an absence of black people except for Attorney Jackie Chiles)

"Alright, alright, look, I don't have grace.  I don't want grace... I don't even say grace, OK?

 

Then I took a breath.

 

GRACE

 

When I saw Bridget's two baby-daddies carry her through the streets because she could no longer walk, due to labor pains, I got mad at my whiter than white ex-husband. Hindsight had me thinking he married me because he thought I was a strong black woman.  When he found out I only played one in music videos it frustrated him. He said,


"You don't know how to struggle!"


I wondered, why should I? Is "struggle" a dance I should know?   Or did he believe struggle-mode is the standard for every black woman?

 

GRACE

 

Even though Bridget Jones exists in the mind of the writer, watching this movie. I wondered how this imperfect specimen of a woman deserved the love of a high-profile publisher, barrister and a tech billionaire.  Were these men so emotionally weak they needed a woman who appeared to be dumb enough to lock her belongings in a ATM alcove.  Especially since she knew she couldn't retrieve them because only minutes before, the ATM confiscated her access card!  

 

Why is it that this type of woman attracts the most dashing men, I wondered?   Men; some black women call, "Captain-Save-a-H*s!

Then Mark's montage memories of Bridget rolled.  And I finally understood.

 

Maybe, these men weren't weak. Maybe, they just enjoyed being around and caring for Bridget because she forgave herself for her shortcomings.  Bridget knew she was far from perfect, but in her quest to be one of those "perfect women”, she forgave herself.

 

Short of the funeral, christening and wedding, there's not much talk of religion but Bridget lives as if she's covered by grace.

And she affords all who come into her world to forgive themselves their transgressions, too.

 

GRACE   is so powerful, it is in the top 1% of look-ups on Merriam-Webster.

 

The word denotes divine assistance, approval, favor, privilege; a disposition of or to act in the instance of kindness, forgiveness, clemency; beauty, charm, ease and suppleness; a short prayer giving thanks; a melodic note, three goddess sisters (plural); sense of propriety or right, quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.


My visceral reaction had nothing to do with the movie; but it spokes volumes of my perspective. Like Elaine, I saw grace and ran the other way.  Learning to love and be easy with yourself is rarely taught or implied.  

Instead, some of us are taught the way to achieve acceptance is through perfection.


The further away from the ideal we get, the sadder we get.  Sometimes that sadness turns into anger.  For some, it can be depression and guilt.

Yet, there's a tool available to all of us when fail miserably at being perfect.


GRACE 

 

Grace isn't something bestowed, in the sense it's only for the select few.  When you look at the definition, it's easy to see grace is something we all can choose, accept and share.


I'm glad I gave "Bridget Jones's Baby” 3 stars.  I might go back and give it 4.  It's not often a silly little movie can give birth to a brand-new outlook.


Source: Grace / Merriam-Webster


Thank you for reading!  

Originally Posted at Melhopkinsdotcom

Mel Hopkins


No one can live up to the story that you create about them. If it's an amazing story, however,  it doesn't matter.  That is, if you remember this one thing.  
Listen to my podcast "Careful, or you'll end up in My Novel" Pilot episode:  Characters


 

 

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