Anonymous

YES!! EXACTLY!!!

JohnB, I've never been a history buff but my interests are changing as I get older. So I may find myself reading more & doing my own research these days...then again, maybe not...there's only so much I can take...sometimes it is a bit overwhelming for me to read about what my ancestors went through. @Felipe, I won't even go too much into the comments made by the other guy from the other site...I dunno...for some reason I just don't feel like picking those comments apart - on the one hand I could say "I know what he's trying to say" and on the other I could say "he's a jerk for saying this that or the other" but at the end of the day, I don't care enough. Maybe someone else would like to dive into that mess. I'll be honest. I'll be the first to say that the dialogue needs to open up, but I'm also somewhat standoffish when it comes to talking to non black strangers about race relations. The problem for me comes in not feeling that "family" connection --- then I tend to get paranoid about hidden agendas when other people are in the room. I don't want to end up like Dave Schappell ----> He thought it was okay to say any and everything and even make black jokes in front of mixed company and then he ended up getting his feelings hurt when white ppl started laughing at him instead of with him. As a matter of fact, I'm probably going to go delete a comment I made on another post here, all because I don't want white ppl see me laughing at a certain thing. I know that sounds nuts, and I could go further into explaining why...but again, I'm being honest...and truthfully speaking - I won't explain bc at the end of the day, you probably wouldn't understand. I think that if more of us could volunteer at schools we would see how unnatural all of these race issues are...when you hang out with little first graders, you'll see that they play together with no problems whatsoever. At my son's school there are white kids, black kids, Hispanic kids, Indian kids, everybody...and ALL the kids play... It's not until they get older that you see the separation...and that's because they learn it from somewhere. It's the saddest thing to watch. My youngest is 6 and hasn't had to learn it yet...but I can remember when my older kids learned it...one by one...as they got older, some incident would happen --- some terrible thing occurred that forced me to explain to them..."son, the reason that happened to you is because in this effed up world we live in, you are at the bottom of the barrel, automatically...why? because you have that beautiful dark black skin." okay, i'm done. i've said too much & i am not in the mood to get emotional today...especially not in front of mixed company.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>censored<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Can't wait to read the next chapters!

Hi John, You wrote: "I don't write for any specific audience, I write about what fascinates me and have never written in the same gender twice." For some reason...I think I like that. Hey have you ever read any of the Slave Narratives? I read one of the volumes recently and was surprised to "hear" the stories of some of the ex-slaves...how they viewed the time period and how they viewed themselves. I think the dialogue needs to open up more in the schools about this very real part of all of our history. Glad to hear that you're involved w/seminars and reading to the children. Nice to meet you.

<censored> by poster

Crystal, if I called my mother a bitch my grandmother would jump out of the grave and slap the crap out of me and then commence to beating the black off of me and all my offspring just for G.P. That woman was mean as I don't know what. I'm still scurred!

Troy I know what you mean...I wouldn't have read it had you not re-formatted it. The all caps hurts my eyes.

Troy, yes I can remember the "yes ma'am, yes sir" days. When I moved to California I found it interesting that many of my neighbors out there were horrified that my kids were saying yes ma'am and no ma'am. I recall one neighbor saying, "Girl I wish I WOULD make my kids say some shit like that! They ain't SLAVES!" That was the first time I realized that not all black ppl were raised the same. lol. My grandmother tried to make me believe otherwise though, and she swore up and down that if I didn't say "yes ma'am" and "no sir" and teach my children to do the same that there would be hell to pay. Cynique, the story about the drugs in the suburban white high school doesn't surprise me at all. I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood out in the north suburbs. The only white kids that were at our school came from the Navy base. Our school was known for having fist fights. But for all us kids that went there, it was common knowledge that the white schools in the "better" (aka RICHER) suburbs, were no better than ours in terms of "good" or "bad" kids.That's because those kids had money to buy and deal drugs...and they did - on a regular basis. We would hear the dirty details from some of the few black kids that were shipped off to the private schools in the old money suburbs. There were also a few black kids whose parents were able to pull some strings to use an address for some of the public schools in the "desireable" white neighborhoods, thereby avoiding sending their kids to our all-black high school. All those black kids pretty much told the same story: "the grass aint greener and these people's kids are crazy and doing way more criminal shit than us!!!" That was back in the 80s. I guess at the end of the day, all kids are a hot mess these days w/the level of disrespect that Troy was talking about - both black and white. The difference lies in what happens after they get caught up. Obviously, our kids have to be taught to watch your back w/regards to everything from each other to law enforcement. White kids get the luxury of walking around with chips on their shoulders and nonchalant attitudes even when they get caught doing criminal activities like selling drugs in school. smh Every time I get on these type of topics, I end up feeling like all of these societal problems are nothing more than distractions for what's really going on...the real root of this crap. sigh.

In light of the story in the news about the teen in Calumet City (shot and killed by police after his mother called the police to assist her in dealing with him ), I wonder why people are calling the police in these cases to begin with. Maybe it's just me but I would think that the police would be the LAST people a black family should call to help with an out of control teen - especially a boy. I always thought it was common knowledge in our community that the police couldn't be trusted and that if you did end up having to call them, be prepared to be treated like a criminal, even if you're the one needing help. But I'm starting to hear more and more about people calling the police on their kids and I am truly baffled by this. What do you guys think? http://www.myfoxchic...eports-20120201

wow. Boitumelo did u write this or this a re-print? I'm sharing this on fb and want to give proper credit to the author. I'll hunt around & see if I can find out. This is my first time reading it. Regardless, I love it.

lol @ Cynique ----> covering my face in embarrassment! <---------- It is true...if there ever was a course in self-promotion I would surely fail miserably!

Hey Cynique! This is great! I actually tried to read your book...but I got lost at that ACAM website. It was not user friendly and I gave up. (I have the attention span of a gnat and forgot to come back here and mention the problems I had w/the gliches on that other website.) So anyway, I'm looking forward to reading this one.

@ Kola Boof, done (Goodreads)! Looking forward to "She Wiped It On The Wall" since black women & religion just so happen to be two of my hot button topics.

Okay...I finished "The Sexy Part of the Bible" yesterday...but I needed a moment before I could comment about it. The main character in this book, Eternity, literally haunted me! I dreamed about her story and I'm not kidding. The author went "H.A.M." on this book and I've never read anything quite like it. There are phrases and ideas from the book that keep replaying over and over in my mind. For example "all black people hate each other"..."we who go with the landscape"..."without our real mother we cannot be born"..."too black to represent Africa"...and "Africa has been cloned"...are just a few. At the end of the day, I loved this book. I would recommend it if you want a great read with an interesting story line and realistic insight into things that we don't talk about on a day to day basis, like how we view ourselves and how we really feel about each other. (When I saw "we," I mean those of us that are of African descent...you know black folk all around the world.) What you may find, through Eternity's eyes, is a brutal type of honesty that will probably make you cry and will probably hurt your feelings, but in the end, you'll find yourself glad that she said it all and held no punches. Check out the synopsis & go from there. If you read it, or if you have already read it, I'd love to hear what you thought of it. I think I might be in need of a discussion, or a drink, or therapy. Amazing job Kola Boof! My vote: 5 stars out of 5

Troy, yep, I know about the throwing of the shoe & the other presidents who were shot at and assassinated. But I'm referring to the at home nit-picking done by supposedly stable-minded Americans; the petty b.s. that I keep noticing surrounding President Obama and the First Family. And although I'm sure he is brushing it off and saying "oh I expected it...I'm not surprised...just a day at the office..." I, on the other hand, am irritated by it. I think certain ppl just want to aggravate the Obama family to the point where the First Lady will snap off and get in somebody's face and become "the angry black woman." That way ppl can say, "SEE!!! I TOLDYA SO!!!" ************ Btw, does this (see link below) fall under the category of death threat? http://thinkprogress..._source=message

Oh my Gawd don't get me started on this mess right here!!!! I was just telling my husband the other day that President Obama has to put up with so much disrespect that it isn't even funny. Regardless of what people thought about Bush, nobody would have dared wag a finger in his face. Nobody would have boo'ed any of the other first ladies at a NASCAR race. Nobody would have turned down an invitation to go to the white house & meet w/the president based on "political differences" (hockey player Tim Thomas). If I'm wrong, please somebody correct me with some examples. And people are still in denial about the racism that exists in this country today? Really?

Just started "The Sexy Part of the Bible" by Kola Boof.

Kola Boof, Ooooh wow you hit the nail on the head with this one! I was planning to go...that is until I did a lil research and discovered the missing presence of Black women. Sigh...wish I can say I was shocked. At the end of the day it'll just be another "Black Movie" that I won't be paying my hard earned money to support. The sad part is that the Black actors, writers, and directors who worked on the project more than likely noticed that "something's missing" but were too concerned about pleasing the crowd and getting paid. Money makes people do dumb *ish*. I guess they're trying to say that nobody wants to pay to see Black families or Black love unless it's a comedy of sorts. Sounds like a setup to me - and we've seen it before. Divide and conquer is such an old concept. When the hell do we stop falling for this crap? Ugh. Whatever!

I have one more thing to add to this thread. I am trying not to beat a dead horse, but this point is bugging me, so here goes nothing: John, I think if you had come to the board BEFORE finishing your project and said, "Hey I'm thinking about writing a book with mainly African American characters, etc...and I'm white...how do you think Black readers will react to this...etc..." then it would have been easier for me to accept your motives as sincere. Under that scenario, logically, it would have made sense to come to a board like this. Indeed it would be wise to do so...get some feedback, show you care about what your potential audience will think...get some constructive suggestions about how to respectfully handle your characters & portrayal of historical events. But since you already wrote the book, published the book, and started selling the book, and THEN you came looking for feedback, it makes me think you are simply trying a new marketing strategy. I have no problem with you marketing your material. But don't insult me by acting like you're just curious to see my reaction to your color. Be real about the situation. If you're coming to the board to broaden the exposure of your book, then just say that: "Hey, I wrote a book about Black characters...here's the synopsis...check it out..." And if you feel you must include the fact that you are white, then say that too..."oh, by the way, I'm white...do you care?" I could respect that.

I'm gonna have to check out urbancusp...thanx for including the youtube clip. Now as for the 5 off the top of my head...tsk tsk shame on me bc I can only think of one...But maybe someone else can add to my virtually nonexistent list: 1. www.nappturality.com Great post...can't wait to see what everyone else comes up with.

Yep, Troy, they are right...and they KNOW what they are talking about. lol. unfortunately... So at the end of the day, whether you're married or single, when you don't make your partner use a condom you're putting your life in somebody else's hands. You're trusting him or her to do the right thing and not get you caught up. I suppose there's no safe sex except no sex. But that goes against human nature. Sigh...we do what we can. Me & the ladies pretty much gave up on the round table discussions of this particular issue a few years ago. It always ended up nowhere.

I completely agree!

Ditto on both points. I'm always reading excerpts from Cynique's posts to my husband. We love them! As for the celebrity culture - can you say waste of airtime? I'll be so glad when we figure that one out. Regarding sex & the use of condoms, I agree with Kola Boof: The only thing I can think of as far as a "reason" for this issue is that there are some things that people are willing to play Russian roulette for - sex is one of them...in fact, sex might be the ONLY thing, or at least right there at the top of the list. I have friends who are lonely and dating and I know for a fact that they are not making these men wrap up. Keep in mind that my little group of friends and I are not young, clueless kids. We are in our 40s, we are working women, we are sensible - supposedly. But when it comes to sex...sigh...it's the same old story. I know I was no perfect angel in my twenties & I've dropped the ball myself a couple of times, but at this age would you believe that I still get calls from friends talking about pregnancy scares? Really? No birth control? No condoms? Really? At our age? But it (unprotected sex) happens - all the time. And I think it has everything to do with loneliness and wanting an emotional connection with a man. When I mention condoms, my girls are quick to remind me that just because I'm married doesn't mean my sex is safe. "Your husband could cheat on you...So how 'bout YOU buy some condoms." So, in their minds, sex with a condom is only necessary if you are literally in it for a quick one night stand. But if you really care about the guy, you'll do what you have to do to keep him...and many times that means letting him go in without protection. And when he leaves you, then you start over with the next dude. Before you know it, you're three dudes deep in two years (and I'm being kind because the statistics with my friends are far worse than that --- oh I hope they never read this) and that would be three dudes without protection. Hell, with those numbers you wouldn't be able to pinpoint the source of HIV if you were unlucky enough to contract it. And now I hear that they have this new one --- a mouth cancer that comes from oral with somebody who has HPV? smh. We should all be "scurred" but when it comes to sex, we just aren't. We roll the dice and pray for negative test results.

Sounds so sensible, doesn't it? Wonder why it's not playing out that way. Is it the old crabs in a barrel theory I've always heard about when I was growing up? Or is it something new? Same *ish* different year? What is really going on? So many questions...smh Whatever you do, don't get discouraged. Stay positive & stay on the grind, and continue to stand up for what you believe in. I love this site!

Troy you bring up an interesting point. A writer who wants to sell books is naturally going to think about his or her audience. She may start off writing her book the way she sees fit. Who knows what that initial draft looks like -- it could be filled with character roles that challenge stereotypes. But by the time she's on her third round of edits, for example, she may start changing things to meet what she anticipates are the demands of the audience. She may anticipate such demands by looking at her competition; reading other books that are out there in connection with her subject matter. Before you know it, she is tweaking this, adjusting that, and the book is totally different than how it started...all because she wants people to be comfortable with it; to accept it. When looking at it this way, it becomes easy to see how books filled with stereotypes continue to be produced. The writer is looking at "what sells" and may even be afraid to go against the status quo. Unfortunately, the status quo is "busting" at the seams with stereotypes. Racism and American go hand in hand. For a new writer, and I guess even the veterans, stepping outside of the box may sound good theoretically, but when you're trying to get picked up by an agent or land a big deal with a publisher, the brutal reality of where we stand with each other sets in. So what do you do? Take one for the team and tell it like it is - keeping in mind that your intepretation may very well differ from other people's? Or focus on your personal survival, by writing what is safe and acceptable ("believable") to mainstream America, thereby making that money? p.s. I keep putting "believable" in quotations because (as Troy said --- I think that was Troy who said it...), whether or not something is believable is subjective. So already, we as people are in trouble in terms of trying to relate to one another. What may be believable to one person, is nonsense to another. To that end, going back to my original response to this post, if I, as a black reader, come across a book about black ppl that I find to be totally off the mark & stocked full of "unbelievable" characters, I'm going to call that book crap. If I find out that the writer is white, AND cashed in big time on the book, then yeah, I am going to have something negative to say. Real talk. I will NOT be happy about it and I will NOT pretend to support it because at that point, it's all over the big screen showing a story with characters that I don't think would have really acted like that (putting *ish* in a pie? seriously? We had way more dignity than that! --- or did we? How would I know...I wasn't there...maybe I'm wrong, but that's my story & I'm sticking to it: again, subjective). And yet, as opinionated as I am about this whole "The Help" issue, there are ten people to my one that love the movie and find it to be a fascinating true-to-life portrayal of great black women and mean old evil white ones in a time period from back in the day. (Btw, I haven't thought about how I personally would feel if a black person was the creative genius in that same scenario....let me watch a Wayans brother movie tonight and then maybe I'll come back tomorrow and let you know how that went.)