Comic Relief

[aka Contrarian]

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport, the terminal?

 

                  Author Unknown
 

[Delano]

16 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

It would be too heavvy

16 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

True but the other meaning of Congress applies, in regards to how it rules.

[aka Contrarian]

@DelanoI didn't write these observations. I just thought they were semi-funny.  This was a list that appeared on FaceBook.

[ProfD]

The  list has been around for a long time but still remains funny. 

 

I believe music and comedy (laughter) make the world a better place.

[Pioneer1]

8 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

@DelanoI didn't write these observations. 

 

I IMMEDIATELY recognized that by the sheer wit of some of the observations....lol.
 

 

 

But I'm going to be real with yall.

That "CON-gress being the antithesis of PRO-gress"...............

Genius

I'm going to be using that one quite a bit...lol.

 

[aka Contrarian]

@ProfDI see my Bears are scheduled to play your team this Sunday.

If DA BEARS win, it'll bring me some serious relief!

 

Who are the oddsmakers picking?

[ProfD]

19 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

@ProfDI see my Bears are scheduled to play your team this Sunday.

If DA BEARS win, it'll bring me some serious relief!

 

Who are the oddsmakers picking?

Correct.  Our teams will be playing this Sunday.  Commanders are 4.5 point favorites to win the game.

[aka Contrarian]

@ProfDSo the BEAR-COMMANDERS game is Monday night! Hope the ,"bye" week won't have stifled da Bears' momentum. 

I'm not optimistic. Ohio State handed Illinois their lunch and the Cubs got eliminated from the playoffs. 

But at least a federal judge ruled in Illinois' favor and the Texas national guard cannot come in my town and protect the ICE encampment.  

 

You should probably go and console your buddy Pioneer who probably spent his whole afternoon composing a love letter to himself, trying to impress Mel. I hope she takes pity on him so he can move on. Poor ol fella.

[ProfD]

15 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

So the BEAR-COMMANDERS game is Monday night! Hope the ,"bye" week won't have stifled da Bears' momentum. 

It could be a good game. I'm hoping the bye week doesn't give Da Bears more confidence.

 

15 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

I'm not optimistic. Ohio State handed Illinois their lunch....

I watched that game. It was a rough afternoon in the office for th Fighting Illini.

 

15 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

But at least a federal judge ruled in Illinois' favor and the Texas national guard cannot come in my town and protect the ICE encampment.

Hopefully the rulings will stand up to appeals.

15 minutes ago, aka Contrarian said:

You should probably go and console your buddy Pioneer who spent his whole afternoon composing a love letter to himself, trying to impress Mel. I hope she takes pity on him so he can move on. Poor ol fella.

My brotha @Pioneer1 doesn't need any consolation. 

 

I do enjoy the back and forth between you all.

[aka Contrarian]

Sorry, for using the wrong word. I should've said "encouragement" instead of "consolation".  His tired ol  routine is wearing thin, as opposed to his bloated ego. 

[ProfD]

On 10/12/2025 at 8:20 PM, aka Contrarian said:

So the BEAR-COMMANDERS game is Monday night! 

Da Bears won. Bye week didn't hurt your team.

 

Too many mistakes definitely led the Commanders to losing the game.

 

Congrats to Da Bears on the win.

[aka Contrarian]

@ProfDWell, after all of their last minute losses last season, DA BEARS have finally  started to get a few breaks. ChiTown is happy!

[ProfD]

9 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

@ProfDWell, after all of their last minute losses last season, DA BEARS have finally  started to get a few breaks. ChiTown is happy!

Da Bears are tracking in the right direction under new Head Coach Ben Johnson.

 

As QB Caleb Williams continues growing in terms of making his reads faster and improving his throwing accuracy, the offense will improve.

 

HC Johnson really needs to rely on the running game until the offense becomes more explosive in the passing game.

 

Da Bears defense is pretty solid. They just need to minimize their penalties. Those mistakes give opposing offenses better field position and scoring opportunities.

 

Upcoming Bears opponents are Saints, Ravens, Bengals and Giants. All winnable games.

[Pioneer1]

On 10/12/2025 at 8:20 PM, aka Contrarian said:

You should probably go and console your buddy Pioneer who probably spent his whole afternoon composing a love letter to himself, trying to impress Mel. I hope she takes pity on him so he can move on. 

 

"Move on",  my ass.....lol.

If I find out @Mel Hopkins has been "impressed" by anything I did, I'll KEEP ON doing it until my efforts have reached their "logical conclusion".....lol.

 

The next pictures and videos she posts will have ME in them.
I'll be in the background, grinning and mumbling something about "rear view" checks and balances.
 

[Troy]

@Pioneer1 Since I have no idea what you look like THAT would be an interesting photo.  In my mind's eye I see you as a bow-tied, bean pie slinging' brother.  Other times I see you as a domestic beer-drinking blue-collar guy- with a decent job at "the plant." Perhaps you are both or neither...

 

There were a couple of people who posted here years ago Zane and Thumper.  Neither came close to what I thought they would be like in person. I suspect Pioneer would be the same.  @Mel Hopkins invite him to GA so that we can see what he looks like

 

[Pioneer1]

Troy

 

Since I have no idea what you look like THAT would be an interesting photo.  In my mind's eye I see you as a bow-tied, bean pie slinging' brother. 

 

Lol...not me.

 

 

 Other times I see you as a domestic beer-drinking blue-collar guy- with a decent job at "the plant." Perhaps you are both or neither.

 

Not me either.
That actually sounds like a plaid shirt wearing, F-150 driving, white man you're describing...lol.

I work the warehouse of factory, though it's not big enough to be considered a plant.
The compound actually consists of 3 buildings.
One building is a warehouse, one is where they actually manufacture goods, and the other is for corporate purposes.

 

 

@Mel Hopkins invite him to GA so that we can see what he looks like

 

Now wait a minute....
That's sounding more like a "set up"....lol.

 

I think I've seen THAT movie before.

Mel flies me down to Atlanta, takes me to a spot, and I'll see @Delano sitting there waiting on me with a turban wrapped around his head, talking about:

 

 

"Good job Twin!"
 

[aka Contrarian]

@ProfDLotta  BEAR fans complaining about the calls against their team, and Troy Aiken and Joe Buck's  biased commentary during the game.  Others are still crying in their beer over the team trading QB Justin Fields, who's currently  struggling. 

Bear fans are a Krazy bunch.

 

Btw, I appreciate your unbiased analysis of the team.

 

4 hours ago, Troy said:

@Pioneer1 Since I have no idea what you look like THAT would be an interesting photo.  In my mind's eye I see you as a ...

@ Troy Don't you remember when pioneer posted  these pictures of him and his white girlfriend(s)? 

[Troy]

54 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

That actually sounds like a plaid shirt wearing, F-150 driving, white man you're describing...lol.

 

EXACTLY!  Ex-military, Trump supporter ... obviously biased by my Florida environ

 

56 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

"Good job Twin!"

 

LOL!

 

Yeah, they have you believing the is one race and respecting woman as equals in no time.

1 minute ago, aka Contrarian said:

Troy Don't you remember when pioneer posted  these pictures of him and his white girlfriend(s)?

 

LOL!  Knowing @Pioneer1 he's found unspeakable use of her unique attribute.

 

Seriously, is she/they an actual living human being?! I'm surprised no one has made a reality TV show of her/them or at least a documentary.

[aka Contrarian]

@TroyYes, they had a reality show a while back. After pioneer kicked "ther" to the curb, ther gave up on black  men and got married a coupla years ago to a  salacious lookin white guy.

[Troy]

What?! OK, I have to succumb to my basin nature and find that showI Wow!

 

did they actually use the pronoun “ther?”

[aka Contrarian]

13 hours ago, Troy said:

What?! OK, I have to succumb to my basin nature and find that showI Wow!

 

did they actually use the pronoun “ther?”

No.  These conjoined twins have actually lived very productive lives. They finished college and taught school. And really did get married.

[Delano]

19 hours ago, Troy said:

, they have you believing the is one race and respecting woman as equals in no time.

In no time like, never.

[Mel Hopkins]

20 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

That actually sounds like a plaid shirt wearing, F-150 driving, white man you're describing...lol.

 

 

20 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Mel flies me down to Atlanta, takes me to a spot, and I'll see @Delano sitting there waiting on me with a turban wrapped around his head, talking about: