@Pioneer1 and I had a meeting of the minds about Black Gen X, and I'll add Black Gen Jones men (born between 1955-1965): either avoiding marriage or staying married once they say, "I do."
Now, we've agreed on a lot of the points made in this video presented on YouTube. But here's where we diverge in our perspectives. (see the topic "Search Engines and Aggregation Websites LOVE AALB to read the rest of the exchange)

From my experience, Black people have different mating rituals than those who established Western civilization. When Black families come together, from birth to death, it is often a proverbial Thanksgiving, cook-out, brunch, or some type of eatfest. That is usually how you know two people are about to unite—case in point, my response to Pioneer's observation.

When I met my firstborn's father in college, it was at his insistence that I come to his house for dinner. It wasn't our first encounter, but by the time he was really interested, I knew he was bringing a brontosaurus steak to win me over. On the flipside, I've gotten proposals from my cooking. In fact, one suitor ate all my homemade almond-flour cookies after he said he didn't want any. Black men will PROPOSE something if you cook for them!!! 😆 That's our courting ritual. As I said, Black men will also cook for Black women, and if they can't cook, they will take their date to some linen-cloth table restaurant with waiters ready to wait on the table. And creepy as this sounds, they will do this for the woman they want on the side too, so she knows he wants to keep her too. Also, I've learned that if a Black man wants to take you to his family reunion, you'd better get off your booty and go! He is really serious about that woman. On the same token, if a Black woman wants a Black man to meet her sister-girls, that is a huge hint! Those are our courting rituals. So, stop watching Hallmark movies to get a clue and watch us, what we do naturally, and then see what comes next and how quick we connect.

Ok, so, that's what happens in my Black tribe. Has anyone observed something different in their tribe?

---

It's ABOUT TIME somebody posted something I can sink my teeth into, lol.

I was getting kinda bored for a minute.
I log on to AALBC on a smooth Saturday morning looking for about 5 or 6 threads I can chop it up in and see the only one who has been posting since yesterday is ME.

Usually ProfD has dropped SOMETHING profound by the time I log on, now HE comes up absent.....lol.

Sheeeyit.......

I don't even know WHAT Mel said yet and already gave her ass a trophy just for posting something I can respond too....lol.

Mel


Now, we've agreed on a lot of the points made in this video presented on YouTube. But here's where we diverge in our perspectives.

See, that's why you and a lot of women ain't married right now....lol...yall don't know when to stop.
You SHOULD have stopped on our agreeing....and left it alone, LOL

I don't know how many times I've gotten into argument with women while sitting on the couch.

The conversation is going fine....until she drops a "But, see....." with a smirk on her face, then I KNOW the shit is about to go sideways like a jumbo jet with one engine....LOL.

I start staring at the carpet, after that.



From my experience, Black people have different mating rituals than those who established Western civilization.

Facts.
I've noticed this since I was a teenager.
We just have different natures from them.
Not only are our mating habits different....by nature....but so are our tastes and our psychological make-up in general.

Even when we try to imitate them, it usually doesn't work out.

We really should take advantage of the limited amount of "liberty" we are offered in the United States to break away from the old religion-colonial based marriage and social systems that were forced on many of our Ancestors and develop our own.

We have the "liberty" to experiment and find out what works.
Like you said, we have our own rituals....we should focus on those that work and avoid those that don't.

When Black families come together, from birth to death, it is often a proverbial Thanksgiving, cook-out, brunch, or some type of eatfest.

Yes.
Because eating is a SENSUAL activity.
A healthy appetite signals a healthy sex drive.
Just like dancing is also a SENSUAL activity.
If you're good at dancing, it usually means (usually...lol) that you're good in bed.




Black men will PROPOSE something if you cook for them!!! 😆 That's our courting ritual.

Facts.
I did myself.
When I was 28 years old I proposed to a 78 year old Mexican woman down in Tuscon Arizona strictly because of her cooking, lol.

She couldn't even speak English and I didn't know Spanish...but I found a dude walking down the street to translate for me.




Also, I've learned that if a Black man wants to take you to his family reunion, you'd better get off your booty and go!

This is true.
But sometimes the OPPOSITE is true as well.

I know some bruthaz who's families are so fucked up and dysfunctional that keeping her AWAY from his family is a sign that he loves her and wants a more serious committed relationship with her.

If a man doesn't mind bringing you around his drug addicted mother and crazy ass sister and insist yall can still have sex down in the basement (where he still lives) because his dysfunctional ass family don't care one way or another....that's a sign of what he thinks of YOU, lol.

If he doesn't want you to see any of that, that means he actually values your opinion of him and doesn't want to scare you away.





if a Black woman wants a Black man to meet her sister-girls, that is a huge hint!

You're right, however most Black men don't need hints like that to tell if a woman is interested.
Even the DUMBEST bruthaz can tell if a woman is interested in him instinctively.
Just by deduction alone....lol.

If you go through your day with most women not even looking in your DIRECTION let alone saying anything to you, it doesn't take a lot for you to get the message if one finally DOES show some teeth when she says hello.

The main issue with men is either not having the confidence to respond or simply not being interested.

What many sistaz need to learn is to take a hint when a man IS NOT interested, no matter how many hints she drops.

I try to tell my female relatives, don't make TOO big of a fool of yourself dropping too many hints for a man who is obviously not interested.
There's only so many times you can drop a pen or napkin and bend over infront of him before you start embarrassing yourself AND him...lol.

So, stop watching Hallmark movies to get a clue and watch us, what we do naturally, and then see what comes next and how quick we connect.

Fam, I ain't watched the Hallmark channel since they showed that damn "Holiday Heart" movie!



Got big ole' muscle bound Ving Rhames portraying some cross dressing sissy giving little girls advice in a shrill voice.
What kind of shit is that?

I did my OWN personal boycott of that channel....lol.

Ok, so, that's what happens in my Black tribe. Has anyone observed something different in their tribe?

My tribe vs your tribe?
You're starting to sound like our brother richardmurray now....lol.

Next thing, you'll be talking about how DOSers be getting married vs the Staten Islanders, lol.

BTW......
First time I heard (saw) of "Gen Jones".....lol.

I had to actually look that one up.

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Fam, I ain't watched the Hallmark channel since they showed that damn "Holiday Heart" movie!

Got big ole' muscle bound Ving Rhames portraying some cross dressing sissy giving little girls advice in a shrill voice.
What kind of shit is that?

I did my OWN personal boycott of that channel....lol.

Bro, they even put Ving Rhames through that Hollywood ritual of making a Black man playing as a woman. His role in Pulp Fiction was even worse.🤣😎

53 minutes ago, ProfD said:

Bro, they even put Ving Rhames through that Hollywood ritual of making a Black man playing as a woman. His role in Pulp Fiction was even worst.🤣😎

I remember another movie he was in where he played a gay firefighter who came out of the closet.
I believe it was "Chuck and Larry".

Doing it ONCE is a ritual.
Doing the shit OVER and OVER again.....and you're trying to tell us something, lol.

Next thing you know he'll be on The Breakfast Club trying to explain why he did nothing when some White guy grabs his nuts and kisses him.
.....talking about how "confused" he was about the situation.
.....talking about how it happened so fast he didn't have a chance to react, like Terry Crews....lol.




You know I have YET to see Pulp Fiction?

I usually check out Quinton Tarantino's flix, but for some reason I just haven't gotten around to seeing that one.

15 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Doing it ONCE is a ritual.
Doing the shit OVER and OVER again.....and you're trying to tell us something, lol.

Well, Eddie Murphy & my homie Martin Lawrence have done it quite a bit.

I've always thought Eddie Murphy might swing both ways like saloon doors.🤣

I believe Martin is straight up & plays rhe roles for comedic effect.

Those Wayan Brothers don't have a problem wearing dresses either.

15 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You know I have YET to see Pulp Fiction?

I usually check out Quinton Tarantino's flix, but for some reason I just haven't gotten around to seeing that one.

Pulp Fiction is a trip. Samuel L. Jackson & John Travolta cut up in it.

Tarantino does some modern day blaxploitation sh8t but otherwise his movies are watchable.😎

ProfD



Well, Eddie Murphy & my homie Martin Lawrence have done it quite a bit.
I've always thought Eddie Murphy might swing both ways like saloon doors.🤣

I'm not sure about Eddie.
The only thing I really heard about him was that time he picked up that trans dude, which could have been an honest mistake.
He fucked around with too many women...including Whitney Houston....to be like that, lol.
I wouldn't put it past him.....but I just don't believe it as of now.

I believe Martin is straight too.
Nigga just silly, but I don't believe there's sissy anywhere inside of him...lol.

However Tyler Perry........???.......ehhh.

I personally don't have a problem with a man wearing dresses and make up for BIG money.
We talk about this from time to time at work and in other circles.
Dudes be swearing up and down how they'd never put on a dress and would rather die first.

If they'd offer me $5 million for it, I'd put on a dress and wouldn't think twice about it.
I wouldn't have a moral OR ethical problem with it, what so ever.
I'd put SEVERAL different dresses on.....and even take them off....infront of the cameras, lol.

I'd put some lip stick on too for good measure, lol.

Shit like that doesn't bother me personally because I'm straight, I know I'm straight, and everybody who knows me know that I'm straight.
So.......

Now engaging in HOMOSEXUAL behavior on the screen would indeed be an issue.

But not just dressing up like a woman.

However I do respect men who refuse to do so.
Especially if they're doing it for moral or ethical reasons.
A Black man should stand by his convictions.
I certainly do.
But that just happens to NOT be one of my convictions....lol.

Tarantino does some modern day blaxploitation sh8t but otherwise his movies are watchable

Tarantino....like Stephen Spielberg.... is one of those White artists who's work is so genius that it transcends race or ethnicity or culture.
No matter what race you or or what background you come from or what you're into....when you observe their work, you're recognizing greatness.
Madonna is another one.
No matter what kind of music you're into....you recognize Madonna's talent as an artist.

Tarantino is probably the only White film producer who could have done Django Unchained, lol.

There are plenty of Black artists like that, but White artists like that are a rarity.

9 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I personally don't have a problem with a man wearing dresses and make up for BIG money.

What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁😎

10 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I'd put some lip stick on too for good measure, lol.

Would you blow somebody for a billion dollars?

It was a rhetorical question, but I know the answer given your other statements. Everybody has their price I guess.

Pulp fiction was one of my favorite movies. I’ve probably watched it five or six times.

Samuel L Jackson makes Tarantino‘s films, if you took him out of Django unchained it would just be an OK movie to me.

ProfD


What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

THIS....coming from the "resident agnostic"????

Lol, so NOW you believe in a soul???



Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁

Nearly EVERYBODY has a price at which they can be bought, whether they admit to it or not.







Troy


Would you blow somebody for a billion dollars?

I'd like to THINK I wouldn't.....lol.
But you never know until that billion dollars was presented.

My biggest concern wouldn't be over whether society thought I was gay or not.
My 2 biggest concerned would be:
-Would it be divinely immoral for me to engage in that activity?
-Would the person have some sort of STD?

What people thought of it would be my LEAST concern.


*Conversely.....
If I were African or Arab, I wouldn't even CONSIDER doing either one.
Because the male Honor Code in these cultures are so strong; what good is the money if you're constantly fearing for your life?

Samuel L Jackson makes Tarantino‘s films, if you took him out of Django unchained it would just be an OK movie to me.

If you said this about Jamie Foxx, I'd agree.
But any ole nigga could play Stephen in Django....lol.
David Alan Grier could have played him just as easily.

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

ProfD


What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

THIS....coming from the "resident agnostic"????

Lol, so NOW you believe in a soul???

Nope. I was just quoting the scripture of believers.😁

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁

Nearly EVERYBODY has a price at which they can be bought, whether they admit to it or not.

Right.

There are many of us who cannot be bought for any amount of money to compromise ourselves.

Thankfully, there is nothing on this planet that I want so badly I'd be willing to do anything to get it. Guess that means I'm blessed.😁😎

ProfD

Right.

There are many of us who cannot be bought for any amount of money to compromise ourselves.

I know.

When I was homeless and staying in the shelter, I met some of them....lol.

They never compromised.

Except at 7am when the shelter attendants told them to get their ass out of the building and don't come back before 8pm.

Thankfully, there is nothing on this planet that I want so badly I'd be willing to do anything to get it. Guess that means I'm blessed.

Perhaps.

Or since you're still living (and as Neely Fuller Jr. would say "still learning") it COULD mean that you just haven't MET that something or someone yet who will FORCE you to do what you never thought you'd do...lol.

30 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Perhaps.

Or since you're still living (and as Neely Fuller Jr. would say "still learning") it COULD mean that you just haven't MET that something or someone yet who will FORCE you to do what you never thought you'd do...lol.

I'm an old man now but still lethal. I have enough resources to get whatever I really want. Nobody & nothing can force me into anything.😁😎