@Pioneer1 and I had a meeting of the minds about Black Gen X, and I'll add Black Gen Jones men (born between 1955-1965): either avoiding marriage or staying married once they say, "I do."
Now, we've agreed on a lot of the points made in this video presented on YouTube. But here's where we diverge in our perspectives. (see the topic "Search Engines and Aggregation Websites LOVE AALB to read the rest of the exchange)

From my experience, Black people have different mating rituals than those who established Western civilization. When Black families come together, from birth to death, it is often a proverbial Thanksgiving, cook-out, brunch, or some type of eatfest. That is usually how you know two people are about to unite—case in point, my response to Pioneer's observation.

When I met my firstborn's father in college, it was at his insistence that I come to his house for dinner. It wasn't our first encounter, but by the time he was really interested, I knew he was bringing a brontosaurus steak to win me over. On the flipside, I've gotten proposals from my cooking. In fact, one suitor ate all my homemade almond-flour cookies after he said he didn't want any. Black men will PROPOSE something if you cook for them!!! 😆 That's our courting ritual. As I said, Black men will also cook for Black women, and if they can't cook, they will take their date to some linen-cloth table restaurant with waiters ready to wait on the table. And creepy as this sounds, they will do this for the woman they want on the side too, so she knows he wants to keep her too. Also, I've learned that if a Black man wants to take you to his family reunion, you'd better get off your booty and go! He is really serious about that woman. On the same token, if a Black woman wants a Black man to meet her sister-girls, that is a huge hint! Those are our courting rituals. So, stop watching Hallmark movies to get a clue and watch us, what we do naturally, and then see what comes next and how quick we connect.

Ok, so, that's what happens in my Black tribe. Has anyone observed something different in their tribe?

---

It's ABOUT TIME somebody posted something I can sink my teeth into, lol.

I was getting kinda bored for a minute.
I log on to AALBC on a smooth Saturday morning looking for about 5 or 6 threads I can chop it up in and see the only one who has been posting since yesterday is ME.

Usually ProfD has dropped SOMETHING profound by the time I log on, now HE comes up absent.....lol.

Sheeeyit.......

I don't even know WHAT Mel said yet and already gave her ass a trophy just for posting something I can respond too....lol.

Mel


Now, we've agreed on a lot of the points made in this video presented on YouTube. But here's where we diverge in our perspectives.

See, that's why you and a lot of women ain't married right now....lol...yall don't know when to stop.
You SHOULD have stopped on our agreeing....and left it alone, LOL

I don't know how many times I've gotten into argument with women while sitting on the couch.

The conversation is going fine....until she drops a "But, see....." with a smirk on her face, then I KNOW the shit is about to go sideways like a jumbo jet with one engine....LOL.

I start staring at the carpet, after that.



From my experience, Black people have different mating rituals than those who established Western civilization.

Facts.
I've noticed this since I was a teenager.
We just have different natures from them.
Not only are our mating habits different....by nature....but so are our tastes and our psychological make-up in general.

Even when we try to imitate them, it usually doesn't work out.

We really should take advantage of the limited amount of "liberty" we are offered in the United States to break away from the old religion-colonial based marriage and social systems that were forced on many of our Ancestors and develop our own.

We have the "liberty" to experiment and find out what works.
Like you said, we have our own rituals....we should focus on those that work and avoid those that don't.

When Black families come together, from birth to death, it is often a proverbial Thanksgiving, cook-out, brunch, or some type of eatfest.

Yes.
Because eating is a SENSUAL activity.
A healthy appetite signals a healthy sex drive.
Just like dancing is also a SENSUAL activity.
If you're good at dancing, it usually means (usually...lol) that you're good in bed.




Black men will PROPOSE something if you cook for them!!! 😆 That's our courting ritual.

Facts.
I did myself.
When I was 28 years old I proposed to a 78 year old Mexican woman down in Tuscon Arizona strictly because of her cooking, lol.

She couldn't even speak English and I didn't know Spanish...but I found a dude walking down the street to translate for me.




Also, I've learned that if a Black man wants to take you to his family reunion, you'd better get off your booty and go!

This is true.
But sometimes the OPPOSITE is true as well.

I know some bruthaz who's families are so fucked up and dysfunctional that keeping her AWAY from his family is a sign that he loves her and wants a more serious committed relationship with her.

If a man doesn't mind bringing you around his drug addicted mother and crazy ass sister and insist yall can still have sex down in the basement (where he still lives) because his dysfunctional ass family don't care one way or another....that's a sign of what he thinks of YOU, lol.

If he doesn't want you to see any of that, that means he actually values your opinion of him and doesn't want to scare you away.





if a Black woman wants a Black man to meet her sister-girls, that is a huge hint!

You're right, however most Black men don't need hints like that to tell if a woman is interested.
Even the DUMBEST bruthaz can tell if a woman is interested in him instinctively.
Just by deduction alone....lol.

If you go through your day with most women not even looking in your DIRECTION let alone saying anything to you, it doesn't take a lot for you to get the message if one finally DOES show some teeth when she says hello.

The main issue with men is either not having the confidence to respond or simply not being interested.

What many sistaz need to learn is to take a hint when a man IS NOT interested, no matter how many hints she drops.

I try to tell my female relatives, don't make TOO big of a fool of yourself dropping too many hints for a man who is obviously not interested.
There's only so many times you can drop a pen or napkin and bend over infront of him before you start embarrassing yourself AND him...lol.

So, stop watching Hallmark movies to get a clue and watch us, what we do naturally, and then see what comes next and how quick we connect.

Fam, I ain't watched the Hallmark channel since they showed that damn "Holiday Heart" movie!



Got big ole' muscle bound Ving Rhames portraying some cross dressing sissy giving little girls advice in a shrill voice.
What kind of shit is that?

I did my OWN personal boycott of that channel....lol.

Ok, so, that's what happens in my Black tribe. Has anyone observed something different in their tribe?

My tribe vs your tribe?
You're starting to sound like our brother richardmurray now....lol.

Next thing, you'll be talking about how DOSers be getting married vs the Staten Islanders, lol.

BTW......
First time I heard (saw) of "Gen Jones".....lol.

I had to actually look that one up.

4 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Fam, I ain't watched the Hallmark channel since they showed that damn "Holiday Heart" movie!

Got big ole' muscle bound Ving Rhames portraying some cross dressing sissy giving little girls advice in a shrill voice.
What kind of shit is that?

I did my OWN personal boycott of that channel....lol.

Bro, they even put Ving Rhames through that Hollywood ritual of making a Black man playing as a woman. His role in Pulp Fiction was even worse.🤣😎

53 minutes ago, ProfD said:

Bro, they even put Ving Rhames through that Hollywood ritual of making a Black man playing as a woman. His role in Pulp Fiction was even worst.🤣😎

I remember another movie he was in where he played a gay firefighter who came out of the closet.
I believe it was "Chuck and Larry".

Doing it ONCE is a ritual.
Doing the shit OVER and OVER again.....and you're trying to tell us something, lol.

Next thing you know he'll be on The Breakfast Club trying to explain why he did nothing when some White guy grabs his nuts and kisses him.
.....talking about how "confused" he was about the situation.
.....talking about how it happened so fast he didn't have a chance to react, like Terry Crews....lol.




You know I have YET to see Pulp Fiction?

I usually check out Quinton Tarantino's flix, but for some reason I just haven't gotten around to seeing that one.

15 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Doing it ONCE is a ritual.
Doing the shit OVER and OVER again.....and you're trying to tell us something, lol.

Well, Eddie Murphy & my homie Martin Lawrence have done it quite a bit.

I've always thought Eddie Murphy might swing both ways like saloon doors.🤣

I believe Martin is straight up & plays rhe roles for comedic effect.

Those Wayan Brothers don't have a problem wearing dresses either.

15 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You know I have YET to see Pulp Fiction?

I usually check out Quinton Tarantino's flix, but for some reason I just haven't gotten around to seeing that one.

Pulp Fiction is a trip. Samuel L. Jackson & John Travolta cut up in it.

Tarantino does some modern day blaxploitation sh8t but otherwise his movies are watchable.😎

ProfD



Well, Eddie Murphy & my homie Martin Lawrence have done it quite a bit.
I've always thought Eddie Murphy might swing both ways like saloon doors.🤣

I'm not sure about Eddie.
The only thing I really heard about him was that time he picked up that trans dude, which could have been an honest mistake.
He fucked around with too many women...including Whitney Houston....to be like that, lol.
I wouldn't put it past him.....but I just don't believe it as of now.

I believe Martin is straight too.
Nigga just silly, but I don't believe there's sissy anywhere inside of him...lol.

However Tyler Perry........???.......ehhh.

I personally don't have a problem with a man wearing dresses and make up for BIG money.
We talk about this from time to time at work and in other circles.
Dudes be swearing up and down how they'd never put on a dress and would rather die first.

If they'd offer me $5 million for it, I'd put on a dress and wouldn't think twice about it.
I wouldn't have a moral OR ethical problem with it, what so ever.
I'd put SEVERAL different dresses on.....and even take them off....infront of the cameras, lol.

I'd put some lip stick on too for good measure, lol.

Shit like that doesn't bother me personally because I'm straight, I know I'm straight, and everybody who knows me know that I'm straight.
So.......

Now engaging in HOMOSEXUAL behavior on the screen would indeed be an issue.

But not just dressing up like a woman.

However I do respect men who refuse to do so.
Especially if they're doing it for moral or ethical reasons.
A Black man should stand by his convictions.
I certainly do.
But that just happens to NOT be one of my convictions....lol.

Tarantino does some modern day blaxploitation sh8t but otherwise his movies are watchable

Tarantino....like Stephen Spielberg.... is one of those White artists who's work is so genius that it transcends race or ethnicity or culture.
No matter what race you or or what background you come from or what you're into....when you observe their work, you're recognizing greatness.
Madonna is another one.
No matter what kind of music you're into....you recognize Madonna's talent as an artist.

Tarantino is probably the only White film producer who could have done Django Unchained, lol.

There are plenty of Black artists like that, but White artists like that are a rarity.

9 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I personally don't have a problem with a man wearing dresses and make up for BIG money.

What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁😎

10 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

I'd put some lip stick on too for good measure, lol.

Would you blow somebody for a billion dollars?

It was a rhetorical question, but I know the answer given your other statements. Everybody has their price I guess.

Pulp fiction was one of my favorite movies. I’ve probably watched it five or six times.

Samuel L Jackson makes Tarantino‘s films, if you took him out of Django unchained it would just be an OK movie to me.

ProfD


What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

THIS....coming from the "resident agnostic"????

Lol, so NOW you believe in a soul???



Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁

Nearly EVERYBODY has a price at which they can be bought, whether they admit to it or not.







Troy


Would you blow somebody for a billion dollars?

I'd like to THINK I wouldn't.....lol.
But you never know until that billion dollars was presented.

My biggest concern wouldn't be over whether society thought I was gay or not.
My 2 biggest concerned would be:
-Would it be divinely immoral for me to engage in that activity?
-Would the person have some sort of STD?

What people thought of it would be my LEAST concern.


*Conversely.....
If I were African or Arab, I wouldn't even CONSIDER doing either one.
Because the male Honor Code in these cultures are so strong; what good is the money if you're constantly fearing for your life?

Samuel L Jackson makes Tarantino‘s films, if you took him out of Django unchained it would just be an OK movie to me.

If you said this about Jamie Foxx, I'd agree.
But any ole nigga could play Stephen in Django....lol.
David Alan Grier could have played him just as easily.

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

ProfD


What does it profit a man to gain the world & lose his soul.🤣

THIS....coming from the "resident agnostic"????

Lol, so NOW you believe in a soul???

Nope. I was just quoting the scripture of believers.😁

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Many people have a price at which they can be bought. It's usually less than thousands or millions of dollars.😁

Nearly EVERYBODY has a price at which they can be bought, whether they admit to it or not.

Right.

There are many of us who cannot be bought for any amount of money to compromise ourselves.

Thankfully, there is nothing on this planet that I want so badly I'd be willing to do anything to get it. Guess that means I'm blessed.😁😎

ProfD

Right.

There are many of us who cannot be bought for any amount of money to compromise ourselves.

I know.

When I was homeless and staying in the shelter, I met some of them....lol.

They never compromised.

Except at 7am when the shelter attendants told them to get their ass out of the building and don't come back before 8pm.

Thankfully, there is nothing on this planet that I want so badly I'd be willing to do anything to get it. Guess that means I'm blessed.

Perhaps.

Or since you're still living (and as Neely Fuller Jr. would say "still learning") it COULD mean that you just haven't MET that something or someone yet who will FORCE you to do what you never thought you'd do...lol.

30 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Perhaps.

Or since you're still living (and as Neely Fuller Jr. would say "still learning") it COULD mean that you just haven't MET that something or someone yet who will FORCE you to do what you never thought you'd do...lol.

I'm an old man now but still lethal. I have enough resources to get whatever I really want. Nobody & nothing can force me into anything.😁😎

ProfD

You've called yourself an "old man" on several occasions.
According to the birth year on your profile....you haven't even reached 60 yet, lol.

I think Troy might have gotten offended by it one time.
He's older than you, and he's still out there making babies....lol.

There's a brother at work who his only 52 and he routinely calls himself an old man....and does it quite seriously.

What happened in society where they skipped right over "middle aged", and went from being a Y.N. with your pants sagging and drawers showing....to being an O.N. sitting at the family back yard bar-b-que bopping your cane in between your legs and gnawing on a chicken bone????

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

You've called yourself an "old man" on several occasions.

Bro, I've been an old man all my life. I was born old.🤣😎

19 hours ago, ProfD said:

Bro, I've been an old man all my life. I was born old.🤣😎

If you believed in Souls, you'd be called what's known as an "Old Soul".
A person who has reincarnated on this Earth many times and has accumulated a lot of wisdom from their experiences.

I met people...males and females.....who seemed to intuitively "know" certain things.
Just automatically "know" how to play and instrument without being taught.
Just automatically "know" how to talk to people and get along with people.
Automatically did well in school or in sports from early childhood.

On 7/18/2026 at 2:22 PM, Pioneer1 said:

See, that's why you and a lot of women ain't married right now

Although this is about "courting rituals," You do realize marriage offers nothing to women, right? If you think very carefully, you will realize that a man has nothing to offer a woman by way of marriage. Marriage is set up for men, not women. Why do you think the marriage rate and the birth rate have dropped in Western Civilization? It is because it offers nothing to women and everything to men. Especially now when women work a second shift when they get home. Many young women are freezing their eggs for a later date - not because they hope to get married but because they want to have the option to have a child once they are financially able.

Think about it - why would a woman get married?

"I'm my own rich husband"~Cher

On 7/18/2026 at 2:22 PM, Pioneer1 said:

We really should take advantage of the limited amount of "liberty" we are offered in the United States to break away from the old religion-colonial based marriage and social systems that were forced on many of our Ancestors and develop our own.

Absolutely, but this is how I've lived my life. I'm aware of their practices, but I'm not influenced by them. I do what I choose to do and question things that don't make sense. I don't even "code switch." I'm WYSIWYG in every environment. I've learned the only time that causes conflict is when I'm with my own people. Once a black woman on my flight told me I better be thankful to the lord - and I had to remind her that he belief is her own.

Having said that, nothing made me get married when I did. In fact, we got married at the NYC justice of peace/City Clerk office. I'm not, nor was I under any illusion, that religion has anything to do with marriage here in the U.S. The courts allow a pastor, rabbi, imam, whomever to marry a couple - but the marriage is state-sanctioned. Anyway, I wanted to experience marriage, and then I learned it wasn't for me. When my ex gave me an out, I jetted. Those who adopt the social systems in place most likely don't have a safety net. I doubt it; if we collectively had financial resources, we'd follow anyone's script.

On 7/18/2026 at 2:22 PM, Pioneer1 said:

Facts.
I did myself.
When I was 28 years old I proposed to a 78 year old Mexican woman down in Tuscon Arizona strictly because of her cooking, lol.

She couldn't even speak English and I didn't know Spanish...but I found a dude walking down the street to translate for me.

😆😆😆

On 7/18/2026 at 2:22 PM, Pioneer1 said:

If you go through your day with most women not even looking in your DIRECTION let alone saying anything to you, it doesn't take a lot for you to get the message if one finally DOES show some teeth when she says hello.

Yes, this one has gotten me into trouble! I find people fascinating - so not only am I a people watcher...If I catch your eye, I'm going to smile at you. I'm not interested in a love connection - I like people. At the same time, I don't trust a lot of men too - so I will definitely look you dead in the eye to see what you're up to. I clock all the vitals.

"Officer, he was 5'8, had a mole over his top lip...brown eyes -- a scar above his eyebrow -jaudice eyes, and a slight limp. It's not that he couldn't run but if you kicked him in the right spot on the left leg he's going down. Probably has circulation problems but hasn't recognized it might lead to a stroke."

On 7/18/2026 at 6:35 PM, Pioneer1 said:

First time I heard (saw) of "Gen Jones".....lol.

I had to actually look that one up.

Gen Jones folks didn't get the same benefits as the older baby boomers. They have more in common with Gen X than boomers. Even though it is true, I still don't like the term. Gen Jones refers to"keeping up with the Joneses."

On 7/18/2026 at 2:22 PM, Pioneer1 said:

My tribe vs your tribe?

You know Black people are not monolithic; we have inherent practices that are common to one group that are bizarre to another group. Don't make me start another topic now LOL.

Mel

Although this is about "courting rituals," You do realize marriage offers nothing to women, right? If you think very carefully, you will realize that a man has nothing to offer a woman by way of marriage. Marriage is set up for men, not women. Why do you think the marriage rate and the birth rate have dropped in Western Civilization? It is because it offers nothing to women and everything to men. Especially now when women work a second shift when they get home. Many young women are freezing their eggs for a later date - not because they hope to get married but because they want to have the option to have a child once they are financially able.

Think about it - why would a woman get married?

You're correct in all of your observations, but as to the question of WHY a woman should get married...........

It was and still is absolutely beneficial in patriarchal societies for women to get married.

There's a greater chance of protection and provision for her if she has a "good" husband.

No guarantee....ofcourse...but greater likelihood.

In an egalitarian but RACIST society, there is less benefit but still SOME benefit for woman to marry

1. Women of the "subordinate races" of a racist society often benefit by "marrying up".

Unless she marries a bum or loser, marrying men of the dominant races (atleast more dominant than her own) usually affords her more protections, provisions, and opportunities.

Not only for her but as we discussed before...for her children.

2. Women from the dominant races often receive more benefits and accolades from the men of dominant races for "choosing" to be with them instead of choosing to be in a relationship with men of a so-called "subordinate race".

For example.....

All things being equal, White women are often treated better by White men if they have a White husband because it shows their loyalty and that they didn't choose to be with a Black man although they did have the opportunity.

So they get rewarded in work, in social situations, in legal issues, etc....

I've learned the only time that causes conflict is when I'm with my own people. Once a black woman on my flight told me I better be thankful to the lord - and I had to remind her that he belief is her own.

This is often the case because most AfroAmericans are not as "independent thinking" as Whites.

BY NATURE Black people are actually more independent thinking and more "creative" in our thoughts and less restrictive.

However by NUTURE and how this society operates...a lot of Black people were punished in different ways as children for showing independent thought or going against the grain....so they learned one of the best ways to survive in this society is to "go along to get along".

Meaning, adhere to the traditional religions, cultural, and social norms of whatever community they grew up in.

And insist that other Black people do the same.

Those who adopt the social systems in place most likely don't have a safety net. I doubt it; if we collectively had financial resources, we'd follow anyone's script.

Ofcourse.

That's why traditionally, women were encouraged to marry a man and not work.

The more she relied on him for her sustenance, the more likely she'd be to STICK TO the script...lol.

Being financially independent allowed her to walk away anytime she'd like.

In America, Black women have traditionally been more financially independent from their husbands than White men...which is one of the reasons why the Black family was often more broken.

If I catch your eye, I'm going to smile at you. I'm not interested in a love connection - I like people. At the same time, I don't trust a lot of men too - so I will definitely look you dead in the eye to see what you're up to. I clock all the vitals.

This tends to throw a lot of men off.

They can't tell if a woman is truly interested, or just being "polite"....lol.

You know Black people are not monolithic; we have inherent practices that are common to one group that are bizarre to another group.

Although we aren't a monolith and this is often a good thing, sometimes it's a sign of social pathology.

Often times when there's TOO MUCH division and diversity in thinking and not enough social cohesion it's a sign of a people who are easily manipulated, divided, and destabilized.

It gets to the point where you can't tell what erratic or dysfunctional behaviors come FROM us vs what behaviors were INTRODUCED to our community from outside sources.

2 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Often times when there's TOO MUCH division and diversity in thinking and not enough social cohesion it's a sign of a people who are easily manipulated, divided, and destabilized

All we have to do is look back to ancient Africa and how they were able to move together even though there was diversity of thought and tribal nuances. I've never been a 'ghetto' girl/woman, nor are we "get along go along" folks and neither are my close friends or family, and we weren't raised by parents who were 'ghetto' (not to be confused with working class). We're not necessarily Oak Bluffs homeowners, but we don't need to be; my tribe is simply known for how we move through the world. Still, this is exactly why I don't begrudge other Black people of their ways and beliefs - UNLESS they infringe on mine. As that woman did on my flight — I don't "suffer fools gladly"—so I had to shut her down, respectfully, of course. I was working the flight.

Yeah, I know about smiling at the "menz." I'm kind of glad I aged out. Still, everyone can use a smile. 😊

Mel

All we have to do is look back to ancient Africa and how they were able to move together even though there was diversity of thought and tribal nuances.

Ancient Africa may have had wonderful social systems that allowed males and females to work together in harmony...MAYBE...but remember that much of Ancient Africa was CONQUERED.

Greeks, Arabs, Persians, Assyrians, Romans, and other Caucasian groups were able to come into Africa and conquer the men and women of those various tribes.

Going back go those same systems exactly the way they were, is just asking to be conquered again.

I've never been a 'ghetto' girl/woman,

I remember reading where you said you lived in some neighborhood where you used to push baby strollers through crack pipes and syringes scattered all over the ground.

It reminded me of something out of New Jack City, lol.

We're not necessarily Oak Bluffs homeowners, but we don't need to be; my tribe is simply known for how we move through the world.

You threw me off with the "Oak Bluffs" part....lol.

Remember, I'm not in the Boule so I had no idea what you're talking about except by context, and had to look that one up.

I would have been more familiar with Buckhead.

Yeah, I know about smiling at the "menz." I'm kind of glad I aged out. Still, everyone can use a smile.

It doesn't matter how old you are (although it DOES matter how attractive you are)....if you smile at the average man and give him eye contact, you're going to set off alarms in his mind of what "could be".

Why do you think the marriage rate and the birth rate have dropped in Western Civilization?

I don't think the birth rate has actually dropped.

It CERTAINLY isn't dropping among the Middle Eastern and Latino populations who now make up a large percentage OF the Western population.

And I personally don't believe the birth rate among Whites is declining.

I HEAR and READ that it is, but when I look at my surroundings and travel around the country....I see a lot of White kids running around.
I see a lot of White women with big bellies poked out jogging up and down the street and walking their dogs.

I really believe that this whole "declining White population" shit is just PROPAGANDA.

Reverse psychology.

A way of actually encouraging Whites to have MORE children and justify the suppression of the Black population.

How many dark skinned kinky haired kids do you see today, as compared to when YOU were a child?

If they are called "Black" many of them are actually mixed with curly hair and tannish skin.

3 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

t was and still is absolutely beneficial in patriarchal societies for women to get married.

There's a greater chance of protection and provision for her if she has a "good" husband.

Women are making their own money, and many Black women are close to, if not already, millionaires. Further, we live in a society where guns are available to everyone -my daughter went to the gun range at least once a week. Further, depending on how determined a woman is, she can be fit and trained to protect herself even in hand-to-hand combat. I'm sure you saw that enlisted woman take down her counterpart. Now I'm one, but I was trained to know anything can be a weapon, and I also learned that if I pick it up, I won't hesitate to use it because that was part of the training too.   

Still, no one is looking for a roving band of marauders. In my marriage, I never had to send my husband to protect us - that "ish" happens in the movies. In real life, it's the mundane things that bring down and tear a marriage apart: cheating, unequal distribution of work at home, especially if two are working, unequal distribution of work when raising children, and dumb stuff that actually wears you down. Further, the intimate partner homicide is a thing.

So in the real world, two high-achieving partners could be a reason to get married because "team work makes the dream work." Other than that, nope. There's no reason even in a patriarchal society to marry. Unless you want to join two families like back in Africa. Now, if it went back to when women couldn't enter into contracts, or some other crazy-azz restrictions against women, like we lose control of our bodies, then maybe...But even then, young women talk about Lavender marriages where they would marry a gay man. Even in the past, women found a way to stay single because marriage doesn't benefit women.

15 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

Ancient Africa may have had wonderful social systems that allowed males and females to work together in harmony...MAYBE...but remember that much of Ancient Africa was CONQUERED

BUT Africa was the longest surving civilization. Africa is home to some of the world’s oldest and most enduring civilizations, many of which predate European contact and continue to influence the continent today. Don't get it twisted. Don't confuse military might with practices that allowed African contries to endure. We are on slide to destruction. Therefore we did something right to create longevity - not destructuction.

19 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

How many dark skinned kinky haired kids do you see today, as compared to when YOU were a child?

I'm in Atlanta, so you know there are A LOT!!! My next-door neighbor is 32, and she just dropped her fourth! But she is also wealthy too. I'll let you know for sure when I get on a plane. I can always tell who is having babies and how many by going to the airport. Last time was in December, and there weren't that many - but unless these people are staying off the radar - stats say the drop is big.

Mel

17 minutes ago, Mel Hopkins said:

BUT Africa was the longest surving civilization. Africa is home to some of the world’s oldest and most enduring civilizations, many of which predate European contact and continue to influence the continent today. Don't get it twisted. Don't confuse military might with practices that allowed African contries to endure. We are on slide to destruction. Therefore we did something right to create longevity - not destructuction

African civilizations lasted such a long time because there were no Caucasian civilizations around to conquer and destroy them.

African civilizations are tens of thousands of years old, while the Caucasian race itself is only about 6 thousand years old and Caucasian civilizations are less than 4 thousand years old.
Once Caucasian civilization form....they set out to conquer and destroy the other civilizations of color around it.

So African civilizations were great, but they weren't great at defending themselves against Caucasian civilizations which systematically conquered and subdued them one by one.

As Black people, we need a system that will work for us...but we shouldn't to back to one that will only allow us to be conquered again.

When it comes to African culture, we need to eat the carefully selected meat....but spit out the bones, lol.

7 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

African civilizations are tens of thousands of years old, while the Caucasian race itself is only about 6 thousand years old and Caucasian civilizations are less than 4 thousand years old.
Once Caucasian civilization form....they set out to conquer and destroy the other civilizations of color around it.

Modern humans are all from Africa. So are you saying pale people are not human? C'mon now, dna shows us that during the migration many left Africa and folks simply adapted to their new climates. We are all the same folks just some are paler. Unless you're talking about the ETs...👀

I believe Caucasians are just as human as Africans in the same way women are just as human as men, meaning...

Just because you're human, doesn't mean you have the same biological and psychological make-up.

If we were all the same, then you'd see roughly the same rate of Europe being colonized by Black Africans....as you have of Africa being colonized by White Europeans, lol.

The same can be said of Asians and Native Americans.

There clearly are differences between the races at a psychological level as well as phenotypical.

16 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

If we were all the same, then you'd see roughly the same rate of Europe being colonized by Black Africans....as you have of Africa being colonized by White Europeans, lol.

The same can be said of Asians and Native Americans.

There clearly are differences between the races at a psychological level as well as phenotypical.

I don't believe that. I do believe separation from the source can cause psychological damage. Something went down between us like the mythology esau & jacob, cain and abel - and also stories of mythological women like Lilith and Hindu Ahalya and another that I can't remember her name who ended men - and we just forgot why this feud exist.

3 hours ago, Mel Hopkins said:

I don't believe that. I do believe separation from the source can cause psychological damage. Something went down between us like the mythology esau & jacob, cain and abel - and also stories of mythological women like Lilith and Hindu Ahalya and another that I can't remember her name who ended men - and we just forgot why this feud exist.

Well, whatever went down between the races in the distant past....I don't think it justifies or logically explains why Caucasians continue to be in a dominant position over Africans and Native Americans (including Latinos) today.

In other words..........

No matter what Africans OR Native Americans may have done to Caucasians initially, does it justify them being "allowed" to enslave and decimate the African and Native American populations and rule over them for nearly a thousand years?

Mythology and allegories aside.........
I think a more accurate and viable assessment is that Caucasians were simply smart enough to gain the upper hand and keep the upper hand.....so far.

8 hours ago, Mel Hopkins said:

So in the real world, two high-achieving partners could be a reason to get married because "team work makes the dream work."

Right. Use marriage as the guise to set up that LLC bizness. Chess move.🤣😎

11 hours ago, ProfD said:

Right. Use marriage as the guise to set up that LLC bizness. Chess move.🤣😎

Truem that is the origin of marriage though. Except it is update for today when women don't have to give up ownership to her property or self. So, outside of state marriage, Brotha @ProfD What is your is definition of marriage? How would it work in your opinion.

15 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Mythology and allegories aside.........
I think a more accurate and viable assessment is that Caucasians were simply smart enough to gain the upper hand and keep the upper hand.....so far.

@Pioneer1 At first, I took your answer to mean that you were saying that Indigenous Africans and the African Diaspora were and are stupid. And I was about to come on here and argue the point that pale humans are not smarter, because destruction is the antithesis of smart, especially when you try to "build" anything. The smarter move is preservation, and conservation is how you build. But then this video popped up in my YouTube feed, and I realized you spoke brilliantly in shorthand. Since I'm a lover of rhetoric, it took me time to see your position. So, the following presentation is how I came to understand your response and the basis of your argument.

48 minutes ago, Mel Hopkins said:

Truem that is the origin of marriage though. Except it is update for today when women don't have to give up ownership to her property or self. So, outside of state marriage, Brotha @ProfD What is your is definition of marriage? How would it work in your opinion.

IMO, marriage should work like any other business arrangement.

The married parties should mutually agree on how they plan to build wealth & accumulate assets & handle liabilities.

In the event of dissolution of the business, er, marriage, the parties involved have to decide how they plan to distribute the wealth, assets & liabilities.

The bottom line is that people should look at marriage as a business arrangement instead of an institution built on amorous affection & every other platitude humans conjure up in their heads when it comes to building a life with someone else. 😁

It is amazing how s8x scrambles the egg that humans call a brain.🤣😎