Dark Skinned Women and Girls Raised Without Their Father Have their Say

[Troy]

Dear Daddy is a feature length documentary about the life long effects of fatherlessness on women. The film follows the dramatic journeys of eight young women from the tough city streets of Washington,DC as they struggle to overcome poverty, poor educational systems, no healthcare, and the most difficult life circumstance they have been dealt... the absence of their fathers.

More information about Dear Daddy

Dark Girls is the upcoming documentary exploring the deep-seated biases and attitudes about skin color---particularly dark skinned women, outside of and within the Black American culture.

More information about Dark Girls

[Troy]

The trailer for Dear Daddy was actually hard to watch, so very sad. Too many Black girls (children really) are raised without their fathers.

Dark Skin definitely struck a chord with the women I talked to about it – and I can see why. I wonder where they got homeboy (see 4:36 mark) from. In the circles I roll in I never hear a guy talk like this – maybe they are too smart to admit it…

[Kola Boof]

Troy,

You don't meet the MAJORITY of black men in America; I'm just sorry. The O.J. Simpsons; the Lil waynes; the

California & Minneapolis "I don't want black children" brigade.

And for the record...the so called Dark Skinned Woman is THE Black Woman. The entire black race comes

from her. Just the fact they refer to our real mother as "dark skinned black women" as though she's some

kind of mistake proves what trash most Blacks have become.

I am honestly to the point where I can't stand Black people. I just consider myself African & removed from

everybody else. I refuse to raise my sons in the Black community.

[careycarey]

"The O.J. Simpsons; the Lil waynes; the

California & Minneapolis "I don't want black children" brigade"

I wasn't up on Lil waynes but I sure know about Minneapolis. I shared this (raised without fathers) at another site and several women said they were moved to tears. I even had a chance to talk with our old friend Deesha, aka, furious kitten. It's a small world.

The host of one blog even ran it as a feature issue, including the request for donations. That reminds me, Deesha told me that the host and her go back to 2002 and I didn't know she even knew the guy. yep, it's a small world.

[Troy]

Kola I don't know what you mean by "You don't meet the MAJORITY of black men in America". Are you suggesting the majoirty of men are like that sad "Brother" at the 4:36 minute mark of Dark Girls? If that is the case, playing devils advocate for a second, have YOU met the majority of Black men? Do you think that Brother is in the majority?

Carey, wow you ran into Deesha on line. I met her in person a couple of years ago. Funny I have not really heard from here since. I plan to reach out to the old posters If can manage to pull email address of the old board.

[Cynique]

These 2 testimonials were certainly very heart-wrenching. To make their point, the producers of the documentaries understandably focused on the angst that arises from life as it exists in an imperfect world. But the subjects these disillusioned females touched upon are multi-faceted and beg to be explored further.

I don't feel that qualified to speak on some of these issues being a light-skinned woman who grew up with a father in my life. But I can make certain observations. When it becomes obvious that the color-consciousness that has been around for 400 years is not going to go away because America does not value blackness and black people have become inured in a culture which places a premium on light skin, then who can say it is a crime to want your daughters to be spared the demoralizing existence that supposedly accrues to having dark skin? Can certain Blacks be blamed for mating with someone whose genes will help lighten up their offspring? Frivolus, yes! But we are are obviously a superficial society. White people think blondes have more fun.

We are also a society that generalizes because there are plenty of dark women out there who pull just as many men as their lighter-skinned sisters. Just as there are plenty of women who had fathers in the home and still didn't get the love and support that they craved.

There are 2 sides to every question. And you have to ask the single young fatherless girls why they are so eager to bring into this world babies who will also grow up deprived of a father, repeating the cycle. Certain mind-set are so entrenched in the heads of the black underclass that they fail to see the obvious ways to improve their lot in life, But these losers continue to wallow in a dead-end lifestyle that assures the same fate for the children they so indiscriminately give birth to.

BTW, anybody, including the interviewees in these 2 documentaries, who think that light-skinned sistas automatically have it made need to think again. Golden brown girls are the ones who enjoy unanimous approval!

[Troy]

Hey y'all check out this one question poll: http://aalbc.it/darklighttest

Cynique sure those anecdotal stories were indeed heart wrenching and as you seem to suggest the issues are far more complex and nuanced. And of course are not universal.

Cynique do you mean "Golden Brown" like Zoe "Hubba Hubba" Saladana? Zoe would be foine in any complexion white, brown, blue...

My daughters "Golden Brown" I suspect most of their partnership issues will be more impacted by class more than complexion.

[careycarey]

Troy, "Deesha" is a fairly unique name, so when I see it pop up, I find out if it's our Deesha. That has happened a couple of times. And she can always be found @ her blog co-parenting 101.

re: fatherless daughters, I think we all can point fingers and lay blame, however the basic issue in this discussion is the affects on the black females who do not have their father's in their life. To a large degree, it does speak to what some people would define as the wayward behavior of some young mothers. I've personally been around women who have said they've never been around good black men, which affected the way they interacted with them, which included their choices of men and the decisions they made while with them. I am not making excuses for them, I am only pointing out the fact that this issue is focused on the ill effects of black children/women not having their fathers in their lives. .

[Kola Boof]

Kola I don't know what you mean by "You don't meet the MAJORITY of black men in America". Are you suggesting the majoirty of men are like that sad "Brother" at the 4:36 minute mark of Dark Girls?

The MAJORITY of Black Men in America, though not as vocal, share some variation of those beliefs,

Troy. Yes.

If they didn't, then the music videos and black men's magazines would be full of beautiful BLACK women

and you wouldn't have people like Puff Diddy barring dark skinned models from auditioning for his

liquor ads.

So yes. The PROOF is in your culture & the daily exhibits advanced by this culture.

Those who don't actively participate in this behavior....are pretty much SILENT about the others

advancing it.

The community here is VERY Anti-Black...but coming from slavery; Jim Crow and being immersed/raised

in this shit; it's not noticeable to you all. But it's extremely Anti-Black here (from hair to skin color to anything

having to do with Africa).

(a) In their speech & writings, Black people (even many Africans) visit Africa like a grave--not a place to build up.

( They BAN any positive imagery of Black women of **child-bearing** age; she is not to be desired, because

her womb produces nappy dark skinned Black people.

© The entire goal is to become Mulatto (although recently, the Mulatto is not even good enough--now they shun

the Mulatto and preach Multi-racialism; anything but blackness is to be valued).

Black People have become...utterly pathetic.

And the fact that no one is willing to confront our people simply highlights how the SLAVE TRADE took place

500 years ago when AFRICANS initially sold their own people for Bling Bling & made excuses as to why it was

OKAY. Same shit; different era; same excuses.

[Cynique]

Considering that the African continent is the cradle of civilization and mankind, Kola, do you have an explantion as to why the way its native people look has become the object of almost universal rejection??? It seems like over the centuries the black race is being punished. WHY????

BTW, Troy and Carey, Deesha(Ferocious KItty) and I are FaceBook friends. I also met her for lunch when she came to Chicago a couple of years ago.

[Troy]

Cynique almost two years ago I visited several African countries the most suprising thing was how much African's adhered to Eurocentric standards, much more so than the Black folks here. In Nigeria, for examle, virtually every Black woman had straightened hair or wore a wig to mimic such. Lightening creams were readily available in stores. In the corporate enviroment everyone wore suits with ties -- in 90 degree temperatures. Even on Wall Street professional employees dress down. This in a "racially" homogenous nation of 40 million + Black people. Fortunately I did not see a McDonalds...

Kola will have an answer I'm sure but it all stems from imperialism as eveidenced from my observations about.