Cynique

For Goodness Sakes! The Game of Love is as old as time, and all species play it. Homo Sapiens has simply taken this "Men are from Mars" and "Women are from Venus" charade to another level. The old "women-give-sex-to-get-love and "men-give-love-to-get-sex dynamic' has nothing to do with race. Class is still the great divide, and the underclasses are more loose in their relationships. Middle class people exemplify the values of their status and the bourgeois of all colors go through a courtship, get married, buy homes, have kids, send them to college and maintain their 401Ks. Millions of black people fall into this category because of seized opportunities. Millions of whites don't because of squandered opportunities. Millions of other ethnicities fall into various categories. Tunnel vision sets people up for frustration. Look at the big picture. The black minority does not have a monopoly on dysfunctional relationships. The white divorce rate in this country proves that.

Ohhh get some new material. Making up stuff does not do not constitute humor because it contains no element of the truth. It's just your desperate excursion into silliness.

i am not talking about "exceptions and not the general rule". As usual you are invoking your unsubstantiated opinion.

What a crock of BS, coming from 2 people who can't get over Kalexander hurting your widdle feelings.

There's a difference between clearly spelling out and correctly spelling out. It never ceases to amaze me how you misspell simple words. i could understand your doing this will long complicated ones. But, whatever.

Having a defense mechanism is very pragmatic decision that is not that complicated in its origin. Why not arm yourself when entering the dating arena? All women have their guard up, because they don't want to get hurt. When strong women drop their guard, it's because they decide to take a chance on someone who meets their requirements. If this relationship fails, they move on, and learn from this experience because they are also smart women who have used birth control or have stopped at one out-of-wedlock child, in addition to equipping themselves with skills to support themselves. They have defended themselves well in the battle of the sexes. What vulnerable women do, is just the opposite. All women have a penchant for charming, handsome, rascals who turn them on in bed. Strong women don't marry them. They have a fling with them, and, if need be, settle for "Mr. Alright".

Your simply saying this is not adequate for me. Elaborate on your claim please.

My disillusionment is complete. Everything about this country is really screwed up. The wings of the American eagle are about to be clipped, while down below a burnt out black Phoenix shows no sign of rising from its ashes. Jesus, if ya comin, hurry up!

@DelWhatever. This has been a draining exercise in miscommunication, something which you have been as good example of, as anyone, - including me. So, i'm climbing out of this rabbit hole. Maybe you can tell Pioneer why YOU think black people play games - or whatever the topic of this thread is. Bottom line, it's actually not something i care about. Perhaps that's why i wasn't interested in accommodating your request to stop deflecting focus from the subject, and why i slipped into my philosophical mode by saying, "there are no easy answers to questions that involve the human condition." As for my chart, i will tell you that i'm just trying to make it to my 85th birthday on August 18th, and if i do, I'll consider myself LUCKY. That's good enough for me.

@DelI originally posted my comments on the subject of this post which has to do with the games our people play with each other. What i said apparently wasn't sufficient for you and for some reason you thought i was "deflecting{ attention away from this subject and you said this: i subsequently offered what i thought might give a back story about myself so maybe you could draw conclusions about why i have the attitude i have. But this wasn't enough and you declared the case closed. This is how i ended my original post. If i'd had more to say, i would've said it! This whole conversation would've been unnecessary if you hadn't decided i was deflecting attention away from the subject and that it behooved me to say more because you weren't satisfied with my original response.

What is your question? i thought you were asking why i said i wasn't proud of being in the vanguard of ball busting black women - something you said i was deflecting inquiries about. i answered this question in my last post. Pioneer never got around to asking me the question he wanted an answer to. As for the title of this thread: "The games our people play with each other", it's not a question. Is all of this too difficult for you? this is the answer and of course you chose to cherry pick and say i said "I didn't know the answer".

Well, Pioneer never got around to questioning me further, so I never gave the subject a further thought until you dredged it up. What you are now asking is why I didn't answer the question i didn't understand that you were asking. And you have further decided to analyse my reason for not elaborating on my reflection about not being proud of being a castrating woman and musing that i was probably doing the men i rejected a favor. Here's my question. Why do you want me to "get on your couch" and do some soul-searching as to why i won't go into detail and supply you with answers? I suspect this is your attempt to get me to realize that i have gone through life never knowing why i wasn't proud of belonging to an element among black women who are ball busters. And because this is apparently significant to you, you think it should also be significant to me. it ain't. I'll say this, that being a ball buster was never anything i had to work at. It came natural to me. I would say further that the reason for this, is that this is my character, - my core personality - who i am. Stemming back to my childhood, where my father was a strong capable man, and my mother an independent woman, i was never a shrinking violet. i was the youngest of 4 children, never abused, and can honestly say that i always had friends, ran with the "in" crowd, was maybe not a super star but did have my share of male admirers. I was married for 50 years to a man who accepted me for the way i was and who i appreciated for doing so. Our marriage had some rough spots, but during the last 20 years of it, after our kids were grown, and we had matured, we really had some good times that left me with wonderful memories. (He took that racy picture of me that i posted here. It never went public until after he died.) i don't know what answers you're looking for, probably ones that will fit in and confirm an impending theory you have about me. But it shouldn't come as a surprise that i don't really give a damn what you think about me not delving into my psyche to find out why I am a bitch. I am, who i am. And i don't feel the need to prop up black men. My "regrets" about this were fleeting and minor and certainly not deep-seated enough to make me change. OK?

SHEEZE! It would've been so simple if you would've just read your question over to yourself and corrected "she's" to shed!! As the sentence was written, it just didn't make sense until i finally figured it out in spite of the fact that you never corrected the typo! Well, it may have seemed like a deflection but it wasn't. And what's to reveal? i think my final sentence which read "Something i'm not particularly proud of" pretty much expressed my sentiments, especially when put in the context of the entire paragraph. I didn't take pride in kicking "losers" to the curb. But - that's life. I was probably doing them a favor. (And i was nice and sweet to my husband, - who passed the test.)

The Riddler strikes again!

@Deli don't know what you're talking about. You quote Pioneer and then make a reference to a "she" (Chevdove?) who you apparently think i am deflecting something away from. Chevdove and I agreed on everything. Unlike Chevdove and Pioneer, i never said anything about "defense mechanisms" something which you felt the need to define. And what question is it that Pioneer wants me to answer? if you expect me to justify my not conforming to your "rules of order", you could at least be coherent. Then your chances of my cooperating with your cross-examination might improve. But be advised, i don't feel obligated to answer the questions you put to me.

What's compelling about Internet Forums is what every contributor has in common. Although most preface their statements with an obligatory "IMO", let's face it, nobody enters a discussion with the idea that what they post is wrong . And when everybody feels this way, the stage is set for dissent. Who really believes that those who contradict you, know what they're talking about? No one thinks what their adversary calls facts, are that reliable. Everyone secretly places great significance on their anecdotal evidence. Meanwhile, coming up with a rebuttal takes priority over giving close attention to what is being claimed by your opponent. Plus, how people react or overreact in these exchanges depends a lot on their personalities. If the discussion escalates, emotion dislodges logic and the proceedings will become rife with the ad hominem, false equivalency, straw man, non sequitur, cherry-picking tactics, and reverse psychology ploys, - all of which dilute honest debate. Calling for calm and politeness does not resonate in an online venue because these free-for-all encounters don't take place in person. Unfortunately or not, anything goes in a cyber world where folks are not obliged to be held accountable for what they key in the heat of the moment. Words are indeed weapons, but thick skin is a good armor. If you can't stand the heat, get out the kitchen. America, itself, is the captive of social media, and has become one big national forum made up of Conservative Republicans and Liberal Democrats. Of course, both sides think they are right, and civility is at an all time low. Not surprising. Life is strife. People are stressed. And the sun comes up tomorrow.

@Delano ??? Um. - I deflecting the light she could be.

@Del I always thought it went that people who live in glass houses should undress in the basement. But Wait! This can be a teachable moment! What might you take away from this??

Upon reading the post, for one of the few time in my life i was left speechless, and kinda revolted. But - after the sleazy picture i posted of myself a few weeks ago, who am i to judge? The FaceBook meme below, in addition to cracking me up, had me musing over how circulating this picture around for millions to see is worth more than a $3200 ransom payoff.

Go in peace, my son, and sin no more.

@Del You really are discombobulated and seemingly unable to deal with the idea that you may end up looking silly. Are you somehow under the impression that i am claiming to be innocent of antagonizing Pioneer on this thread? Nobody here thinks that or needs you to explain how - i was doing what i always do, as depicted in my satirical spoof. Anybody who follows your desperate plea to read through this thread will also see what you neglected to admit and that is how you were lurking on the side lines during this debate, still festering about Kalexander not giving a damn about who or what you are, - just waiting for a chance to intervene on behalf of Pioneer, and lecture me about being a naughty girl before venting your wrath at that bad ol Kalexander, subsequenly trying to imply that he and i are diabolically colluding against Pioneer, something you feel driven to expose in your role of Super Del - incapable of leaping over low buildings at a single bound. Get over yourself. Your attempt to shame me as being impatient with pontificating people is a bust inasmuch as, unlike you and Pioneer, i can conceive of the idea that i am not flawless. Which is why i don't care if I ruffle your drooping feathers. You continue to cherry-pick and revise segments, trying to cobble together a case that will substantiate your distorted claims. SMH. You are something else.

@Del All you're doing is giving your totally subjective theory as to why people who irritate you, do the things they do. i could return the favor and attribute all of your transparent ranting to your having an inability to admit that you are ever wrong about anything - as demonstrated by your omission of any description of your own disruptive, querulous contributions to this thread. You assume you're dispensing profound revelations but you don't possess any more insight than anyone else here. Everybody thinks they've got everyone else figured out. (i wonder if the reason for you being so erratic and obstinate is because you have been kicked in the head by a kangaroo over there in Australia. Duck, Matey! ) i suggest you consider how I portrayed myself in my spoof. i don't pretend to be anything other than cynical and contrary and capricious. That's how i roll and again i say i don't dish out anything i can't take. I laugh at myself, because i consider taking oneself too seriously is a cardinal sin. And how cognitive can you be to think that i was trying to scare you and Pioneer? WOOOOO What was i gonna do? Come through the computer screen and sock you ball less mopes in the jaw? Get Real.

So then why are you bitching about Kalexander not acknowledging your education and being my "lap dog", when this has nothing to do with the original argument about class and income and values?

It's not your best combative work either because your bruised ego over Kalexander's ignoring your educational credentials became the centerpiece of your strawman cherry picking argument and totally eclipsed the relevant issue. Lucky for you that i provided you with a way to back off and go lick your wounds.

C'mon, Del. These strawman cherry-picked questions are beneath you. When you shift from your spiritual realm or technical one, you disappoint me. That's your definition of not having balls. As a woman, i used the phrase in response to you and pioneer clinging together, pouting because instead of me staying focused on the subject, I got "insulting". I couldn't care less whether you were or were not afraid of me. And are you implying that Kalexander is not ball less because he ruffled your feathers?