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Why do we defend our convictions. When We haven't tested them, in addition some assumptions are not possible to verify.

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@DelanoPeople should have the "courage of their convictions" whether they are tested or not, because they are ideas we hypothetically  believe in.  Some convictions are best not tested because the consequences could be dangerous or even fatal. Especially if they involve the  "by any means necessary" sentiment when trying to eliminate a perceived threat. 

Assumptions very often take the form of examples or are anecdotal rather than factual but they help in trying to advance one's point in a discussion.  As you know, there are very few absolutes except in math or science. 

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. and even in science, there are no absolutes.  Anything we claim to know today and be changed if proven otherwise.

The truth of the matter is that we know so very little.  Sure we know vastly more than we knew 300 years ago, but we knew almost nothing then beyond making weapons and growing crops.

I would not be surprised if we knew more about the way the world works thousands of years ago than we know today, particularly as it deals with spirituality.

I agree with Cynique that people should defend their convictions.  But I also believe that these convictions must be subjected to tests where applicable, this is how improvement comes about. 

It is the same thing with Trump as president.  People disagree on Trump's qualifications to be president.  Tests or proofs to the contrary are meaningless, people are "religious" in the convictions (read: irrational).

I do believe people by nature do not test their beliefs or subject what they to evaluation (the way we do here).  It is just hard to have your ideas challenged and this is simply something most people do feel like doing. Plus people generally don't think deeply about many things--including themselves and their own motivations--this takes effort. For the religion, faith is all that is needed. indeed alternative perspectives are avoided and even violently eliminated.

People might debate whether Lebron is better than Jordan, but it really does not get much deeper than that for most folks...  @Delano, you might observe that they both wear number "23" and see a more profound significance and I might be perplexed at why we are spending so much money on professional basketball, making the owners fantastically wealthy it the expense of our community. To me the significance of Jordan being better than Lebron is as significant to me as your preference of pie over cake... 

Now why do I think that way?  Largely, I suspect, it is a result of running a small business selling books.

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9 hours ago, Del said:

Why do we defend our convictions.

I feel ashamed that at times that I have "no" other convictions than "results" and "freedom".  And even results are relative to its environment.

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Silly me.  i was all up there in the philosophical realm where convictions are so noble and altruistic that they require courage to be true to them and a willingness to die for them.   I wasn't thinking about clinging to something that is just an outlet of  a personal prejudice that is so petty that it requires no courage to keep. But those are convictions, too. So i don't know what i'm talking about.  :wacko: Are convictions and principles the same?   Christians pride themselves in being faithful to their convictions but usually their convictions are not at the level of what it takes to emulate Christ because that would require them to be courageous.  

In my search for the truth i have to ask myself what my convictions are.  And this required me to wrack my brain for an answer.  The best i could do was to question what i have told been told, in light of what i have observed.  i have over and over noticed that experts are not infallible and just because they tell me something, doesn't mean i have to believe it.  There are many prominent figures who are getting by on undeserved reputations they have acquired because self-appointed critics have anointed them with an excellence that does not resonate with me in academia, entertainment, art,  and politics. I guess my conviction is to maintain a healthy skepticism.  What little courage this takes is to not care if people accuse you of being  negative and inflexible..  

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Mel you have been discussing your convictions elsewhere. 

Cynique conviction is believing in Christ. Principle is living by that belief. So you have the temple pharisees being nominal Christians.

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12 hours ago, Delano said:

Mel you have been discussing your convictions elsewhere

@Delano,  I've been discussing items related to my deeply held conviction, "Freedom".  I've never discussed "Freedom" in any forum because it's such a fluid concept. (non pun intended) .  But I defend "freedom" because anything that happens in nature shouldn't be interfered with or artificially restrained. 

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Freedom is your conviction. It is not my conviction. Pursuit of knowledge is mine. However I don't want to control anyone so it is a principle in my life. Based on your comments and the feeling i get from you, it is also one of your principles. 

Undestsnding may also be a principle and a conviction. For me knowing is the conviction understanding is the principle.

Cynique I feel Truth is the conviction and reason and intuition are the principles. 

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Cynique you strike me as more of a rational romantic. Truth is an ideal that you seek. So when people behave in a base ir brutish way it upsets your sensibilities. That's my perception a least of how i know you intellectually. I have no idea about any other plane. Since I can't compare and contrast, I may be off base. 

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@Delano Thank you for clarifying the distinction between convictions and principles. All i know is that i believe  there is life as it exists, and then there is life the way it is filtered through the eyes of the individual.   Some people are more deluded than others. i keep babbling about the "truth" but is an abstract idea.  The red pill and the blue pill  thing in the Matrix kinda resonated with me.

Trump's presidency has impressed upon me as to how the truth can be twisted and distorted and he and his crew have become expert at this and have created an alternate world made up of their lies.  And this works for them because his gullible base remains solid and his detractors are so stunned by the boldness of his lies and contradictions that they are rendered ineffective. So lies can be powerful,

i don't know that my sensibilities are upset by "baseness and brutishness" since as you may have noticed in my feud with the sara person, i engaged in a lot of lewd antics. But i always tried to be truthful whereas, to me, she was a pathological liar.   

When it comes to being romantic, however, i am turned off by what i would call baseness because i ain't a freak - or should say that i am a prude.  i've always thought that the Missionary position was about making love, and all the other positions were about having sex. :D

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Doggie Style doesn't sound romantic. 

There's a difference. Between swearing and profanity. My client he ground reject is swearing.  

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??That's why i  preferred the missionary position, not doggie style.

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Well perhaps if we referred to it as "the congress of a cow" as named in the Kamasutra, or the the Latin "coitus more ferarum," it would sound more romanitc. 

That Latin translates to "sexual intercourse in the manner of wild beasts" Sound like fun to me! :o 

I dunno, the missionary position, does not seem optimal for the female's climax as she has less control, but it is more intimate :wub:

How does a post about Thinking" digress into the relative merits of "doggy style"?  I guess that reveals something about what we think.

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1 hour ago, Troy said:

the missionary position, does not seem optimal for the female's climax as she has less control

@Troy Control occurs with the use of vaginal muscles.  -Missionary is one of those positions when the vagina can grip the penis and bring it in further down the canal.  It's doable during doggie style but it takes a bit more focus.... Missionary is optimal for vaginal orgasm as well as clitoral - but then again so the scissor position...Actually as long the vaginal muscles are strong and in good working order - vaginal control to climax is not an issue... In fact for some men the walls can be strong that it can hurt  during her climax. 

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interesting...

I knew a woman who could bring herself to climax by simply squeezing her legs together.  She was also a body builder who also exercised that part of her body by doing Kegal (sp?) exercises.

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    :o :wacko::rolleyes:   

Different strokes for different folks. I'm a child of the staid 50's. Positions aside, back in the day, my across the bridge table consultants claimed that some women can be brought to a climax by stimulating the areole area on the breast. Also that the brain is the real sex organ and that porn is a great aphrodisiac. 

 

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Kegel. Men do them as well to delay orgasm. 

Any part of the body can become an erogenous zone. If you have patience and attention.

The scissor allows for deeper penetration.

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7 minutes ago, Delano said:

Kegel.

Women have found inserting and  using several muscle resistant devices such as yoni eggs and even this pelvic floor strengthener  that bears the "kegel" name  is more effective than squeezing air  .  It helps with continence too - "no wetting pants when you sneeze"

 

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@Delano why would a "Real" Black man want to delay his orgasm?  See why you are confused with being gay?

Before you ladies pounce on a negro I just wanted to relate another issue overlooked when it come to raising men; sex.  I was a grown man before the notion of satisfying a woman was something I even considered. It is like we are supposed to learn this stuff through osmosis.  Even worse some women, perhaps most, have no clue about their own bodies unable to offer and guidance leading to their own satisfaction.

Some guys learn from porn, through the braggadocio of their homeboys, or some hooker.  Sometimes men can learn a few things from an older woman. The "Kegel Lady" raised my awareness. 

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Being a minute man wasn't my goal. Sex and life are two races where you don't get points for finishing first - Delano Strachen 

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@TroyMale brains are wired differently when it comes to sex. So, yes,  to them, it's initially all about physical gratification, and females are just receptacles for aroused penises.  But i don't think it's the job of mother's  to give their sons sex education.   This is the job of an adult male in the family.  

Females, on the other hand, are sensitive enough to "fake" it so as to not damage the self-esteem of their partner.  So incompatibility exists from the get-go and gets couples off on the wrong foot via the "men-give-attention-to-get-sex and women-give-sex-to-get-attention" paradigm.  By the time this gets straightened out, women are approaching their sexual peak and men are on the decline. I'm assuming that for sexually active people, viagra is a godsend.   :D

 

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Yes Troy Real men want to finish in five minutes to get back to "bonding" with other men.

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...or to move on to the next woman.

When Chamberlain famously said he shagged 20,000 women, no one ever asked if he satisfied that many--now THAT would have been impressive :o

Cynique in this age of women's liberation do you think the "men-give-attention-to-get-sex and women-give-sex-to-get-attention" idea holds true, or is this something hard wired into our nature?

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Damn this conversation is fluid.......lol.

Convictions.
When I was younger and religious I had convictions, convinced that there were absolute rights and wrongs.
Not as much now.

Like my signature suggests.....
I'll argue what I believe at the moment, but change tommorow if different facts are presented to me that truly change my beliefs or raise doubts.....and not even be ashamed.


Principles.
My principles are truth and success in accomplishing my objectives.



 

Someone mentioned learning from older women.......
That's how I learned about sex, older girls/women.
Girls my age were looking for the pretty boys and didn't care too much for me, so the older women took me in....lol.

And speaking of older, getting older has made me better at sex because I don't get quite as excited and it makes me last longer.
Before 30, you'd be lucky if you could get 20 good minutes out of me.....lol.

I didn't care too much for the missionary position, it seems to be harder on my back.  I used to but women up under a pillow to make it easier for them AND me when in that position.

Now I agree it's more intimate because you can tongue kiss and stare at eachother, b
ut you can do that before and after....lol.


| honestly think that how well a woman likes it depends on how she's made, where her vagina sits on her body.

Most white women's vaginas are further up  front so sex is easier when you're facing a woman like that, while most Black women's vaginas are further back and tucked away in the butt (how many Black women have you seen with camel-toes????)  where it's easier to get to from behind....lol.

Quite naturally White "missionaries" who wanted to enforce THEIR way of having sex would force other men and women to have sex the way THEY like to have it....WHEN they had it.
Don't forget that during the time of colonialism and missions out of Europe, most Europeans believed that even if you were married sex
in ANY position was wrong unless it was done with the expressed purpose of reproduction.

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23 hours ago, Troy said:

was a grown man before the notion of satisfying a woman was something I even considered. It is like we are supposed to learn this stuff through osmosis.  Even worse some women, perhaps most, have no clue about their own bodies unable to offer and guidance leading to their own satisfaction.

I agree with you @Troy, I didn't know that so many women didn't know about their own bodies until I got to myspace.   And worse it seemed that a lot of women never learned from their moms.  Many seem to take their cues from men - :huh:    Anyway, that's how a lot of relationship experts started to thrive in the age of "social media"   I  used to belong to this facebook co-ed group and it would get super steamy and incredibly educational and liberating for both women and men.  Sometimes brothers would post pics of their woman's discharge and the women would tell the brothers what was really going on depending on the quality of the "biological waste".

Growing up in my family, the matriarchs, were very open about teaching us girl youngins' age-appropriate lessons about our bodies.  Sex was never a taboo subject.  It's a tradition that the women in my family continue. ..my poor daughters would sometime say TMI when I start in or certain topics... they would about die when my mother chimed in... she's the worst when it comes to vivid descriptions lol. 

As for men learning how to satisfy women - and vice versa, that's an integral part of intimacy... If you can't tell your man or woman what is satisfying - why are you two even together?  (Hypothetical question. I'm not targeting you or anyone)  

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Is there such a thing as a "G" spot?  Just curious, in case, i make becoming a cougar an item on my bucket list.  :rolleyes:

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Cynique Female ejaculation is real.

If you're not perceptive enough in bed to "figure out " , what works.  They you need to talk when you are vertical. 

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Who asked about female Ejaculation????  i meant the erogenous zone known at the G-spot that sets off the bells and whistles and gongs when located.    In my era the highest compliment a woman could pay a man was to say that he found her G-spot.  

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Cynique


i make becoming a cougar an item on my bucket list

Well.....
You can just keep me OUT of your cougarish plans until you renounce your heathenous un-patriotic beliefs!

Lol, sleeping with YOU would be like sleeping with Tokyo Rose!

Keep The Pioneer out of your fantasies......until......

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Stimulating the Grafenberg spot can cause female ejaculation.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2769772

3 hours ago, Cynique said:


Who asked about female Ejaculation????  i meant the erogenous zone known at the G-spot that sets off the bells and whistles and gongs when located.    In my era the highest compliment a woman could pay a man was to say that he found her G-spot.  

Apparently you did.

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Pioneer you are sounding like you are s bit confused  about your sexual preference. You enjoy the idea that you are sexually attractive to people on order to rebuff them. You're an attention whore. Which is explains you kicking it with a guy who had zero interest in women. It's like those religious people who engage on secret homosexual activity. You even admire Dr Umaar. Whose rhetoric doesn't match his actions. 

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On 6/8/2017 at 7:22 AM, Troy said:

When Chamberlain famously said he shagged 20,000 women, no one ever asked if he satisfied that many--now THAT would have been impressive

Now that's the book I want to read! :D

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Del, Cynique was asking about the existence of the G-Spot. Female ejaculation really is another issue; you don't have to ejaculate when you climate as a result of stimulating the G-Spot and you can ejaculate as a result of vaginal stimulation.

Del using the resource you provided, you can see the two things are of course related but not necessarily dependent upon each other:

Despite earlier contrary claims, researchers have found evidence that a sensitive area (Grafenberg Spot) exists in the vaginal barrel. This area is a potential source of orgasm independent of clitoral stimulation. Other researchers have reported that some women experience a sudden spurt of fluid at the moment of orgasm. In the interest of contributing to further understanding of physiological and psychological sexual satisfaction, and alleviation of concerns about perceived urination during orgasm, the investigators explored a series of variables thought to be associated with perceptions of the Grafenberg Spot and its relationship, if any, to the female orgasmic response and female ejaculation. An anonymous questionnaire was distributed to 2,350 women in the United States and Canada, with a subsequent 55% return rate. A number of factors were found to be associated with perceived existence of a sensitive area in the vaginal barrel which, when properly stimulated, activates orgasm. Women who reported sensitive area orgasms were also more likely to report a spurt of fluid at moment of orgasm.

Apparently, most women have never climaxed as a result of G-Spot stimulation and a large percentage of women have never climaxed at all... :(

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Well i think it was Freud who did an extensive study on female sexuality and reached certain conclusions that feminists eventually challenged, declaring that no man was qualified to speak about the female orgasm! :o

 Most women can bring themselves to orgasm with vibrators and sex toys, devices which make men feel insecure because they are a "hard" act to follow. :huh:

 

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It's not the stilt part of his name. 

Well a good man is hard to find and a hard man is good. 

Cynique woman may feel the same way about men watching porn.

It can make you feel irrelevant or perhaps its mot feeling that you are the soul source of your partner's pleasure. 

 

 

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