Cynique

We met at a party. It was not love at first sight. Our similar tastes in music and movie trivia drew us together, and once we began dating, we just kind of grew on each other.

I've been thinking about the subject of this book. As an octogenarian, when I look back over my existence, and at life in general, I wonder about the assertion that a man with money who can presumably support a woman in the manner to which she has either become accustomed, or would like to be become accustomed is the goal of women looking for a mate. Some women might be enlightened enough to never underestimate the truism about the best things in life being free. In time, materialistic possession lose their sheen and there is something to be said for the simple things in life. Or is there any thing worse than a man who has money but is a tight wad. The Gen-Xers and The Millennials would probably buy into this book's premise because it takes time and experience to glean what makes for a fulfilled life. For the woman who, herself, has something to offer, what takes priority over a big paycheck is someone with combination of great intellect and street smarts who has a great sense of humor that is enhanced by a sharp wit and is of good character; a nice appearance, - and this does not necessarily entail movie star looks, but just strong, symmetrical facial features and a body that has not been neglected. Finding all of these traits in a man who doesn't earn a 6-figure salary or wear Armani or drive a Mercedes is not to be lightly dismissed. He can be looked upon as a partner to work with in the pursuit of a life that may be enriching in other areas besides financial ones, and this includes the one in the bedroom. Of course, the argument can be made that a man who has all of the qualities I list isn't likely to be broke, not to mention being someone who is looking for a woman who is a hottie. Every gal is looking for her financially-secure Mister Right but finding a payday-to-payday soul mate to be your life companion could be a satisfying alternative. Just some thoughts... My late husband was an adequate provider who never bored me. He thought I was cute. We managed to stay married for 50 years. We kinda got it right.

@Pioneer1My point is that I make a distinction between preventing an unwanted pregnancy from occurring and dealing with an unwanted pregnancy that has already occurred. Different dynamics are involved here and I don't lump them together. I also disagree with your idea that encouraging single young black women to breed in order to increase the black population is part of the solution instead of part of the problem. I am more concerned with the quality of life rather than the quantity of it.

Last night a rare phenomena appeared in the sky and, as is my custom when something like this occurs, I venture out into the night to gaze skyward and commune with nature. This time I really had an ideal setting for doing this because the weather was warm, the breezes balmy and the visibility clear. So on June 20th, the occasion of 2016's summer solstice, I stood on my patio and stared up at the full moon which hasn't coincided with this date since 1948 and will not happen again until 2062. Any full moon during the month of the summer equinox is called a "strawberry moon" because Native Americans looked upon it as a good time to gather fruits and berries. Smiling back at the man in the moon and basking in the magnetic moonbeams he was sending my way gradually became a surreal experience as I could feel sensations radiating throughout my body, energizing my spirit, At some point I would've been perfect happy to just dissolve into the atmosphere and surrender to the universe and give full sway to my star child origins. Filled with wonder about my existence and the nature of reality, what came to mind was a favorite quote from Poe proclaiming "all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream".

@TroyI'm wasn't disputing "white privilege". i was disagreeing with Pioneer's generalization about why white kids never got pregnant. I didn't buy that it was because they were educated to practice birth control. I contended that it was not about prevention it was how they handled unwanted pregnancies. They were more prone to have abortions or put their mistakes up for adoption or to get married to their baby daddys. And, yes, this was also true of blacks with "middle-class values".

Congrats to the Cleveland Cavaliers the new NBA Champions! The best team won. As the final whistle blew, the highly vaunted golden warriors were reduced to the tarnished ranks of losers. The Cavaliers and LeBron hung tough, and this hungry, gritty Cleveland crew stifled the wholesome, well-fed 3 point brigade. Now instead of comparing the Warriors to the CHICAGO BULLS, whose win-loss record they broke, Curry and Company have to defer to the Michael Jordan posse who continued their winning ways by taking it all. In the end, Golden State's spectacular season all went for naught, and the only difference between them and the hapless last place Philadephia 76ers are the stats in the record books. Just goes to show that in the game of life, that's how the ball bounces.

@Pioneer1 I think you're giving white people too much credit when it comes to not having a bunch of kids out of wedlock or contracting STDs. Middle class whites people don't have these problem because they readily get abortions, or put an unplanned child up for adoption, or marry their baby daddy, and they do have broken homes as a result of divorce. Those considered white trash do have kids out of wedlock and do have broken homes. I don't know the figures on STDs but I'll sure all classes have their share. In the last 25 years, things have changed because society in general has become more liberal. Unwed pregnancy has lost its stigma and birth control methods are easier and more accessible and marriage less popular. Black females in the inner cities have an ongoing high rate of unwed pregnancies because this behavior has become inured in their culture and has evolved as a way of life with them. Young black girls look upon having a baby as a rite of passage and baby mama drama is just taken for granted. There's no denying that saddling yourself with a bunch of kids with no fathers to help raise them plays an major role in the problems that beset black people. But no high profile person of any race would dare tell single black women to stop having broods of kids that they can't take of so nothing changes. And, of course, those black folks who remind that there is an element of white people who do this too, i say "so what"? Improving the lot of black folks is the priority. Let white folks worry about the problems of their underclass.

Yes, Harry, and that includes Troy, Chris, Delano, and Pioneer - who is a father-at-large. Xeon? You, too, if you have kids. Have a great day, guys!

Quite a different reaction when it comes to the parents of the 2-year old white Orlando toddler who wandered into the water and was snatched up by an alligator. Nobody is blaming or investigating them the way authorities were doing the black parents of the 4-year old whose accidental encounter with a gorilla ended up with Cincinnati zoo staffers shooting poor ol Harambe. And nobody's mourning all the alligators shot in an effort to find the remains of the 2 year old who's parents needed to be targeted for taking their eyes off the kid. There's just no justice for black people and alligators...

Yes, Harry. Your rant reflects what black people have been saying for years about white hate groups and single mass murderers being domestic terrorists.

Correction. I just read where Clear View Group, the Texas investment firm that bought EBONY is itself black. How about that? Sounds like a good move.

Obama, who just recently appeared on Jimmy Fallon's program, is too busy making the rounds as guest on the late night talk show circuit, to grant interviews to the black press. I wonder if his hometown newspaper, The Chicago Defender, has even approached him for an interview, considering what a ghost of its former self this publication has become. Obama's obliviousness to his black constituency seems almost at the point of smugness. As his term comes to an end, he is apparently very pleased with his performance and record as POTUS, no doubt buoyed by his currently high approval ratings. The wide-spread disillusionment found among this country's black leadership has had little impact. ( People change once elected, and I'm inclined to think that Hillary will put her past behind her and concentrate on creating a proud legacy for herself, if elected.) And speaking of black journalism, the last bastion of this profession, EBONY MAGAZINE, has been sold to a white investor group located in Texas...

For people who look at the big picture and think outside of the box, tangential thinking does not stump them.

@Pioneer1Narrow-minded Trump supporters also suffer from cognitive dissonance, and I don't think they make a distinction between Latino ethnicities. Truth and accuracy are irrelevant to the mob mentality of Trump's constituency, Their anxiety and bias makes them irrational. The bottom line is that a Muslim mass murderer of Afghanistan descent, phoned 911 before he was killed and stated that he was an Isis sympathizer. This created a perfect storm in the political climate throughout the United States. Donald Trump benefits from this scenario and it puts all of his detractors on the defense. This attack is more than the act of a dysfunctional religious fanatic. it is a hit taken by America In its war against terrorism.

Well, another mass killing has rocked the nation in the form of a massacre committed by a self-styled Muslim terrorist who shot up a gay bar on what just happened to be Hispanic Night. What an ironic dilemma for the crackpot right-wing followers of Donald Trump. The Orlando onslaught wreaked havoc on Mexicans and the LGBT folks, both of whom are among the favorite targets of Trump. But their secret satisfaction is tempered by the fact that their henchman turned out to be what they hate the most of all. A Muslim who claims ties to Isis! Trump, himself, couldn't wait to exploit the situation by going into his "I-told-you-so" mode, quick to thank what he claimed was the outpouring of support from millions of his on-line followers who praised him for what they consider his foresight in regard to the sinister threat posed by Muslims in America. Naturally, this latest tragedy has taken on political overtones, and this bodes well for Trump because it feeds into the fears of his followers. And unfortunately, the fact that this incident happened on Obama's watch which is an extension of Hillary's platform, put them in an awkward position thanks to the utterly inexcusable action of the FBI, who had the shooter on their watch list but apparently didn't take all the incriminating evidence against him seriously. Now, all Hillary and Obama can do is stand around reciting the same ol rhetoric about gun control, and not letting fear inhibit us from going on with our daily lives. Yeah, right. I watched the Tony Awards last night, and several of the winners bemoaned this one-man slaughter which was the worst in American history, - this program coming on the heels of the televised memorial services for Muhammad Ali a couple of days ago where the eulogies stressed his dying wish for all religions to come together and spread universal love, something that his funeral entourage reflected. Wishful thinking. "Hamilton", the rap musical written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, the son of Puerto Rican immigrants, was the winner of the Tony for best musical. It's the story of Alexander Hamilton who was the first Secretary of the Treasury and who also just happened to be the only founding father who was not born in America, but was an immigrant. He ended up being killed in a duel with Aaron Burr. And so it goes...

Hummm. All these old threads from the past, are interesting. On this one, I must've been in pure contrarian mode when commenting. Suddenly, I'm on your side, Troy. IMO, faithfulness is about buying into the concept that love is a prison that confines rather than a sentiment that expands. Monogamy is for those who find security in a world with a population of 2, where religion is represented by worshiping each other. If it's the true nature for a woman or a man whose appetite for apples does not dull their taste of oranges, then sameness is a stifling alternative to diversity. The welfare of children should not totally control one's life and they probably benefit from being spared this form of suffocation. A fulfilled parent is a better parent than a frustrated one. I respect and admire those who make and keep their romantic commitments but I wouldn't judge anyone of either sex who has an appreciation for variety being the spice of life, - as long as discretion is exercised. Of course, marriage involves responsibility and dedication, and I guess that's why so many are now delaying it. If it's not a natural state for you, then there's no need to bow to societal and parental pressure to enter into it Yes, I was wed for 50 years and I think the reason my marriage lasted that long was because my husband and I gave each other a lot of space and encouraged our kids to be independent. Life is too short to live by other people's rules. Be true to yourself. And - duck if your pistol-packin mate catches you indulging your passion for polygamy.

You've been reprimanded, Troy, now shape up, or you-know-who will.... do what ??

I had a good time at a Prince Party tonight. Too bad you're stuck down there in the Bronzeville sewer, still lonely and abandoned and lacking a life, and still wallowing in the irrelevancy that permeates your pathetic existence. Poor ol slum-bred, slimy, smelly sarass.

Yes, times have changed, Troy. And I can't add anything to what you've said about how it is now. Blacks are not as self-sufficient as they used to be. The more they become absorbed into the mainstream of the cyber world, the more their uniqueness is diluted in the real world.

I no longer reside in Maywood and the make-up of its population has ceased to be my concern so take your simple-minded, slum-bred, slimy, smelly self along with your affinity for irrelevant BS, and slither on back to the Bronzeville sewer you crawled out of. Bye.

Watta a crock unloaded on us by the queen of subterfuge and duplicity and irrelevancy. Let sara tell it, Chicago's black community is being misrepresented when it is characterized as violence-riddled. And her idea of proving this is to resort to the old playground retort that "they do it, too". The fact that white people commit crime and shoot guns, or that other cities and towns have a problem with black-on-black crime, in her myopic view, cancels out what is going on in Chicago's urban areas. And of courses, she scapegoats the media, overlooking how the media was who reported the outbreak of violence among whites at North Avenue beach, an incident that is her favorite reference. Moreover, for somebody who is so dependent on statistics and data, she'd do well to investigate what percentage of the murders being committed in Chicago are perpetrated by blacks against other blacks before she dismisses the observations of outsiders. The figures don't favor her position. As the self-appointed spokesman for minimizing the tragedy of Chicago's black inner city, it's doubtful whether sara has many allies among other black Chicago residents in all neighborhoods who don't stick their heads in the sand like ostriches when it comes to what is obviously a crisis that won't go away if ignored. All the famous black people she refers to as being Chicago assets would be the first to lament what is going on in their city and to call for more effective ways of combating it instead of dismisses it as "he said/she said" ghetto gossip. But ol slum-bred sara continues to point her dirty finger at anybody who doesn't buy her feeble attempts to sanitize a dire situation. Talk about a nigga who ain't shit.

And after these dying people are visited by those who have gone on ahead and who presumably will escort them through the valley of the shadow of death, - where is it they are going? Do you really think there is a judgment day and a heaven and hell? I don't necessary think that death is final. I prefer to believe it is a gateway into another level of existence.

In general, during the 50s black blue collar people and white blue collar ones were never on a par. Everything that was skimpy about white people, was worse among blacks. Middleclass blacks were not as well off as middle class whites. Black children did not have the same privileges that their white counterparts did. Jobs were available but promotions weren't so easy to come by because of racism in the work place. Benefits on the job were not always free and houses were not that easy to get mortgages for. The 50s were, after all, the era when the civil rights movement was fomenting. Back then, what got black folks over was indeed their culture. They did their own thing within the confines of their communities and managed to find a way to survive and even enjoy themselves.

As far as my affinity for Prince goes, he was never someone I swooned over. He was like a favorite nephew. With me, it was all about the music and the lyrics and the performance, just like it was with Michael Jackson. He was entertaining to watch. Prince was androgynous as opposed to feminine It's to his credit that he could wear eye-liner and high heels and not be sissified. He strutted and had swag. His singing voice was a high falsetto but his speaking voice was low and seductive. He loved to flaunt his muscles and abs and flex his great buns. He was a character; one of a kind. And Prince certainly didn't want for male fans who looked upon his appearance as just Prince being Prince. Obviously his young female and gay groupies responded to his provocativeness because what they picked up from him was the raw sexuality he exuded, an appeal that transcended the ruffles and brocade and lip gloss and luxurious hair, and left behind a promise of a night in his bed.

Fun to be reminded of what life was like in the 50s since today, June 9th, would've been my 60th wedding anniversary. Rest in Peace, Babe. We had it all.