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Gibran

LOOK!

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 BY SOULFIRE

LOOK!

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THE SELF-REINFORCING THEORY

 

When you take a look at your personal history, the one thing you will be forced to contend with is the fact that what you are doing right now is establishing a reputation that is sure to outlive you. Be advised that right now, at this very moment, you are building your legacy. In essence, you are cementing the posterity you will leave behind to be viewed by your loved ones.

 

Long after you are dead and gone, your deeds will continue to testify either for or against you. Oftentimes, the preacher will embellish his eulogy to make you seem more saintly than you actually were, but what will always remain is the ghosts of your actions and behavior. They cannot be sugar-coated. They are what they are, and will forever exist as an indictment against you, meaning that what you choose to do right now will either bless or curse you in the future.

 

Please remember that until you develop a healthy respect for your deeds and the consequences thereof, you will never be in a position to master your destiny. In all honesty, destiny is so much more than a purely spiritual or intellectual concept. It is a personal belief that the universe owes you and that you are bold enough to claim your rightful due.

 

For centuries, black women have been existing in a state of perpetual emotional chaos where, by far, low self-esteem has been her greatest demon. Let me say this. It is, perhaps, very complicated being a black woman in today’s society. Black women are faced with the daunting task of trying to make sense of a world where, on a daily basis, they witness, watch, and observe the physical destruction of black men.

 

What has become obvious to black women is that this trend of killing their men is not going to blow over as this country’s appetite to destroy their men has escalated, and understanding that this trend will continue into the future, black women have to contend with the probability that once the black man has been destroyed, that America will come after them next!

 

Is this fear reasonable? Of course it is. And the number one reason why this fear is so palpable is simply this: How can you hate the product and not hate the producer? If the black man is the most feared and despised creature in America, then how can it be possible for the black woman to be loved and admired by a society when she is the producer of the thing most loathed by that same society? No matter how pretty and brilliant the black woman is, she cannot disguise her capacity to create what this country deems a monster: the black man!

 

With the hindsight of history as a backdrop, what has been consistent about humans is that they feel they will lose the battle unless they destroy the source of the problem. That’s why when you call the exterminator to your home, he does not focus on individual pests, he will go directly to the source ,and seek out the colony in an effort to destroy all of the pests. Well, in America, the black woman is the source.

 

Here’s the truth. Hidden beneath all the horror of the evening news where black men are the usual suspects in a bewildering array of crimes is the unspoken whisper to black women: “LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE”

 

To some in this country, the black woman’s womb is toxic, and she has been given countless warnings to shut down her baby-making facility which she has blindly ignored. In the 50s, the word went out to black women to have only two children and no more. When this didn’t work, other measures were enacted. One was the sterilization of black men. Did you know that Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, was a most vocal advocate of sterilizing black men in the south? She was the one who proposed that black preachers in the south be used to spread the gospel of black male sterilization. She felt that since the black preachers were so charismatic that it would be easy for them to persuade the males in their congregation to get sterilized.

 

Black women better wake up. There’s a war going on.

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It is kinda sad, but the sista probably had a thousand and one reasons why they don't feel protected by brothas. Man, our helplessness has been evident since day one, but what was to be expected when the system was geared to "keep us in check". How easily it works and how good. It's like when I was locked up. I often wondered how  50 guards could keep 1000 prisoners in check. We could easily overpower them, and we very well could have, but there is the intense fear that helplessness breeds that has the power to freeze you in place. The fear is so great, that despite the level of oppression, you choose to leave things be and to pray that one day the situation will change on its own.

 

I remember reading an article some twenty-five years ago about an incident in Washington DC at an earlier date about how the black men finally stood up in defense of the black woman. And man, the elation of the sistas showed through in the article as the sistas exclaimed: "THEY'RE FIGHTING BACK!" Though, some brothas died as a result, this was a shining moment for black manhood, if you can somehow equate getting killed with an act of valor. But I will never forget how proud the sistas were of their men. 

 

Also, I recall another incident. When Joe Louis was fighting the great white hope, despite all the excitement among us that he could win, there was also the concern about what would happen if he did win. Brothas in the know, knew that if Joe Louis won that the white population might riot so a lot of people wanted Joe to lose. Others said that "it would be best that Joe Louis win and that some of us die in the aftermath than for him to lose and the whole future of the race die."

 

Given this, black men have had to confront progress and success with the notion that he could have some, but not too much. But, there is more. It what I call "Success after success". I hate to keep using "street" analogy, but it  is what I understand best. Anyway, when I robbed banks, I consider getting the money a success and it was. However, getting away with the money and keeping it was the success after the success. And that was why most bank robbers got busted. We never prepared ourselves to succeed after the initial success. Likewise, a man can spend half his life courting the woman of his dreams. He gets her and is successful, but he loses her because he wasn't

prepared for success after success. He had no game plan successful enough to allow him to keep her although he had one to get her. Jackie Robinson, despite his success in breaking the color barrier in baseball, found out that the success after the initial success is what  would prove challenging.

 

And that is why image is so paramount in our future growth and development. Our image was hijacked and lacking both an image and an identity has proven catastrophic. I will address that with the next Excerpt from THE UNMAKING OF THE BLACK MAN.

 

 

 

 

 

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Just now, Troy said:

Maybe this is why Black women don't feel protected by Black men. 

Brotha, this is a digression but it helps to make a point. I just realized the "quote" button and how to use it. It was right there in front of my face, but my ignorance or lack of knowing prevented me from employing an option that was geared to make my cyber-life easier. I didn't know, and due to my fear to experiment, I ignored the button. And in life, so many opportunities are missed because we fear trying something new or not understanding how to utilize the options at out disposal. My responding would have been a lot easier had I chosen a moment to step outside the comfort zone to explore the possibilities of what could be if I abandoned my fear of "messing something up". And that is how it goes. Sometimes, we remained trapped in a situation where a so-called 'safety zone' is actually a prison. Not knowing is really not much of an excuse because all I had to do was TRY! I know how simplistic that may appear. but yeah, sometimes all that has to be done is to OPEN YOUR EYES!

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Hey @Gibran my reaction was to a long debate we had on the subject of Black women not feeling protected by Black man.  It was a position I rejected primary because I spend all of my money, time, and energy doing just this for my wife and two daughters. I also know other Brother who do the same.

 

However your point (below) is important to consider.

 

16 hours ago, Gibran said:

Black women are faced with the daunting task of trying to make sense of a world where, on a daily basis, they witness, watch, and observe the physical destruction of black men.

 

I feel like I fighting every obstacle imaginable trying to uplift Black people, so when sistas say they don't feel protected by us, I reacted, defensively, as if it was just another battle I have to fight.  But don't want to fight Black women.  I want to support them, because we need them.  We need each other.  I met a sista recently that reminded me of this.

 

@Mel Hopkins, @Cynique, @Chevdove maybe I needed to hear it from older, wiser Black man.

 

Peace,

Troy

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Just now, Troy said:

Hey @Gibran my reaction was to a long debate we had on the subject of Black women not feeling protected by Black man.  It was a position I rejected primary because I spend all of my money, time, and energy doing just this for my wife and two daughters. I also know other Brother who do the same.

 

However your point (below) is important to consider.

 

 

I feel like I fighting every obstacle imaginable trying to uplift Black people, so when sistas say they don't feel protected by us, I reacted, defensively, as if it was just another battle I have to fight.  But don't want to fight Black women.  I want to support them, because we need them.  We need each other.  I met a sista recently that reminded me of this.

 

@Mel Hopkins, @Cynique, @Chevdove maybe I needed to hear it from older, wiser Black man.

 

Peace,

Troy

Brotha Troy, I envy the fact that you got a chance to do for the women in your life. Man, by spending 35 years in prison, I barely had time to do anything for anyone. I probably traumatized my daughters because they knew more about jail and prison visiting hours than they knew about what time Sesame Street came on. I never will forget when I was about twelve years old and had done something illegal. The next morning when my Moms was going to work with her friends on the bus, they were talking about me and the crime I had committed. (I had broken into the white man's grocery store) She told me how embarrassed she was and that she never mentioned to her friends that it was me they were talking about. Even now, it bothers me how a judge in juvenile court blamed my Mama for me getting in trouble. Can you imagine how sad it is that I never made my Moms proud of me. I am the oldest and only son with 8 sisters and one of my sisters told me that she was mad at me because I was never there to beat up guys who bothered them in school. I guess that is why I'm such a big fan of black women.  Man, feel proud that you stood up for the women in your life. I salute you!

 

Another thing. When I was locked up, I really hated to see black women working in prisons and I told them why I detested it. Any time, I saw a black woman working in a prison, of all places, I felt like we had failed our women, but since we couldn't provide for them or at least, produce jobs more suitable for our precious women, they had to work in what is a hell on earth, where their lives are in constant danger. I felt like we had subjected our women to a fate where they could not emerge with a good view of us because hell, they told us what to do. They ordered us around, and they would go upside our heads if they wanted to with a night stick. Like Tupac said. we gotta save our women. Man, I have robbed, I have stolen, I have been in shootouts, but of all the horrible things I may have done, I am proud to say that I have never physically harmed a black woman.

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I took a similar position that OFCOURSE Black men haven't done enough to defend Black women but how COULD we when most AfroAmerican men are barely able to even defend THEMSELVES????

It's like a little 4 year old girl looking for her 8 year old brother to protect her from being abused by adults.
What can that little boy do?

Most AfroAmericans today are in a "child like" where too many lack the confidence to stand up and defend themselves and their community and many lack the knowledge to PROPERLY defend themelves even if they had the confidence ot do it!

Further, let us not forget another point I was making in that "defending the Black woman" thread......

If AfroAmerican women want AfroAmerican men to defend them they must COOPERATE with us in that defense.
They must listen to those of us who know what we're talking about and obey CERTAIN instructions we give them for their own safety so as to LESSEN the amount of situations that may call for us having TO defend them.

You aren't going to hang out all hours of the night getting drunk, cussing out people, wearing mini-skirts with g-strings bending all over and grinding men of all races in the club and on the street and as soon as some man you were rude to or having some crazy relationship with looks at you cross eyed you want trun to a GOOD Black man and snap your fingers at him and say "sick 'em!!!"......lol......noooo.

Make sure YOU (Black woman) are righteous and acting properly so that a man is JUSTIFIED and FUELED by something called RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION to defend you!

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49 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

It's like a little 4 year old girl looking for her 8 year old brother to protect her from being abused by adults.
What can that little boy do?

 

True.

 

51 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

You aren't going to hang out all hours of the night getting drunk, cussing out people, wearing mini-skirts with g-strings bending all over and grinding men of all races in the club and on the street and as soon as some man you were rude to or having some crazy relationship with looks at you cross eyed you want trun to a GOOD Black man and snap your fingers at him and say "sick 'em!!!"

 

This is true too, but I don't think anyone here ever congested you can act crazy then expect your man to jeopardize his life to support crazy.

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1 hour ago, Pioneer1 said:

I took a similar position that OFCOURSE Black men haven't done enough to defend Black women but how COULD we when most AfroAmerican men are barely able to even defend THEMSELVES????

It's like a little 4 year old girl looking for her 8 year old brother to protect her from being abused by adults.
What can that little boy do?

Most AfroAmericans today are in a "child like" where too many lack the confidence to stand up and defend themselves and their community and many lack the knowledge to PROPERLY defend themelves even if they had the confidence ot do it!

Further, let us not forget another point I was making in that "defending the Black woman" thread......

If AfroAmerican women want AfroAmerican men to defend them they must COOPERATE with us in that defense.
They must listen to those of us who know what we're talking about and obey CERTAIN instructions we give them for their own safety so as to LESSEN the amount of situations that may call for us having TO defend them.

You aren't going to hang out all hours of the night getting drunk, cussing out people, wearing mini-skirts with g-strings bending all over and grinding men of all races in the club and on the street and as soon as some man you were rude to or having some crazy relationship with looks at you cross eyed you want trun to a GOOD Black man and snap your fingers at him and say "sick 'em!!!"......lol......noooo.

Make sure YOU (Black woman) are righteous and acting properly so that a man is JUSTIFIED and FUELED by something called RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION to defend you!

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree. Black men have been placed in the unenviable position of trying to produce bricks without straw because that probably what it is like trying to build a sturdy house without a strong foundation. Black men are broken vessels. Yet, the problem with black men is that though we may be as a four year old kid, and can do nothing at the time, we are not supposed to forget. Just a while ago, I mentioned the fact that I was not there to protect my sisters when they were young, but that same sister when she told me how she had been disrespected, I tracked the guy down and beat the hell out of him decades later. As a collective, black men see things happen and accept it. They suppress the incident and act as if it never happened instead of preparing for the day when they can right the wrong.  we don't have to remain as helpless as a four year old. Remember those movies where invaders come in and kill all the adults. What happens is that all the youth who escape the slaughter will live only for one thing and one thing alone-----vengeance. It may takes years, but one day, they are coming.

 

But this is not the movies. This is Amerikkka! Peace 

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You guys seem to be romanticizing the idea of black women expecting you to be stalwart heroes who will rush up on a white horse to defend black damsels in distress.  i don't think sisters dwell on this idea. Mainly because over the centuries they have learned to take up for themselves in a fair fight.  A drunk woman acting up in a public venue is not really looking for a black man to defend her.  Alcohol is empowering her to fend for herself. As for physical domestic abuse, this is not just a black problem.  It exists across the board.  Moreover, some women physically abuse their mates.

 

Women have a very effective weapon in the battle of the sexes and it's nestled between their thighs. It levels the playing field and can make men happy losers. 

 

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@Cynique so why to you think the sisters  (not you) here, with Del's support, lamented that they dont feel protected?

 

 

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23 hours ago, Gibran said:

I am the oldest and only son with 8 sisters and one of my sisters told me that she was mad at me because I was never there to beat up guys who bothered them in school. I guess that is why I'm such a big fan of black women. 

 

@Gibran Something is wrong with this story here! 

You mean to tell me, that you feel guilty, but what about you father!? Did your sister say this to her father!? Why would a young Black boy at the age of 12 be conditioned--CONDITIONED-- by society and by Black women to feel guilty!? Why are Black boys made to feel as if they can fill the shoes of a grown man? 

 

My husband said some of these same things! LOL! He said he would fight and protect his sisters and ... got beat up sometimes LOL because his siters were older than him and therefore, he would fight older guys. LOL. And to continue this story though, his father-- My father-in-law-- was a 'Rolling Stone-- where ever he laid his hat was his home' --- LOL. He was NOT there for his sons and they learned a lot from the streets. Fast forward, they are being abused by the women in their family and made to feel guilty because they were not there for them--- MAN!!! I'm thinking-- Shouldn't these Black women be saying this to their father--husbands--Baby Daddies!!!??? 

 

They gave My father-in-law a PASS and never confronted him, at all!!! They idolized this man! I am not kidding you.

Me and my husband went rounds on this issue. HIs self esteemed was so abused due to the women in his family putting unfair responsibilities on him and guess what!?

 

He took it out on me and my sons--HIS SONS!

 

 

20 hours ago, Troy said:

This is true too, but I don't think anyone here ever congested you can act crazy then expect your man to jeopardize his life to support crazy.

 

@Troy LOL Have you ever watched the Maury Povich show!? Maybe not in this community, but I have seen 'crazy' want protection and idolization. 

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4 hours ago, Troy said:

 so why to you think the sisters  (not you) here, with Del's support, lamented that they dont feel protected?

  @TroyI don't really think Mel and Chevdove were lamenting the situation, but were instead dramatizing and empathizing with women who are not as strong and independent as they are.  😯 

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“ i have seen maury's show but i don't watch it regularly for obvious reasons.”

That’s probably a good idea. But if you have seen it, so much for the black female damsel in distress and needing a black man’s defense…

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That cute little sista from McDonalds who whooped that Caucasian man's ass after he reached over and grabbed her CERTAINLY wasn't waiting on anyone to defend her.....lol.

 

 

 

 

Troy

This is true too, but I don't think anyone here ever congested you can act crazy then expect your man to jeopardize his life to support crazy.


Mel did.
She said she thought Black men should offer UNCONDITIONAL support and protection.


 

 



Gibran

I hear what you're saying about the vengance and what we might call "going all out" on somebody. But you know most people.....even most men....just don't think that way.
They aren't prepared to carry a grudge that long, especially in THIS society.

It's my understanding that in the Middle East and in places like Italy men are raised to carry grudges to protect the "family honor" so they feel obligated to "get even" with someone who's wronged them or their family even if it takes them a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

Cynique

Women have a very effective weapon in the battle of the sexes and it's nestled between their thighs. It levels the playing field and can make men happy losers.


The very act of rape and other forms of sexual assault againt women destroys this foolish theory about a woman's vagina being some sort of weapon or negotiating tool.

 

 





I don't really think Mel and Chevdove were lamenting the situation, but were instead dramatizing and empathizing with women who are not as strong and independent as they are.


Then they should let THESE womens speak for themselves instead of being their spokesperson because all of this "standing up for others" leads to too much unnecessary conflict in the AfroAmerican community.

How many discussion panels have you seen where intelligent, clean, educated AfroAmerican men and women are arguing with eachother over how "no good" Black men are or how "gold digging and lazy" Black women are when NO ONE on that panel fit that profile.
They're arguing with eachother as representatives of people who don't deserve representation.

Decent intelligent Black men and women should work together in peace and stop blaming EACHOTHER for the behavior of the fools of our community.

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6 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

The very act of rape and other forms of sexual assault againt women destroys this foolish theory about a woman's vagina being some sort of weapon or negotiating tool.

 

A woman's vagina is, indeed,  a negotiating tool in many scenarios. It's when she chooses not to use it as one that she is in jeopardy in other scenarios.   

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Cynique

A woman's vagina is, indeed, a negotiating tool in many scenarios. It's when she chooses not to use it as one that she is in jeopardy in other scenarios


Yes, it IS a negotiating tool at times; and a very vauable one.
I don't blame women one bit for using it when they have the need and opportunity to do so.
But that's not what you said earlier.
You said it was a very powerful WEAPON as if it can rival what's in a man's arsenal.
A woman's BEST and most EFFECTIVE weapon isn't what's between her legs but what's between her EARS.

There's a difference between valuables and weapons and they serve two entirely different functions.

If a criminal comes to rob your house you aren't going to fend him off by throwing gold coins at him....lol.

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My statement was clearly put in the context of "certain scenarios".  And just what is the powerful arsenal men have?  Their brawn does not prevent women from being mens' equal when it comes to brains.  

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