Leaderboard

Caution: This contains strong language. What The Fuck Do You Want From Me? “Son,” she said, “got to do yo’ work.” I ain’t got to do nothin’ Yeah, I’m angry—so what? What the fuck do you want from me? So now it’s all my fault. She can’t read or write eitha. Don’t want me around. He can’t read or write eitha. Neva wanted me from the beginning. Naw, I can’t read and write and fuck math and science--can’t do that neitha. “Son,” she said, “keep your head up and listen.” “Fuck you, leave me alone. I don’t know this stuff—hardly seen any of it befo'. School ain’t my answa—no real support there. They say, too old, foundation crumbling--my existence cracked and weak. Fourth grade come and gone, test scores way low. Can’t recall or retrieve it, too late for me—brain cells said so. What the fuck do you want from me? “Son,” she said, “open your book and read along.” I can’t read this shit. Don’t you think I would if I could? I tried. You know I tried. She persists—always persisting, even encouraging. Better than the one who gave me life. Fake the shit, read somehow. Omit some words, stumble on more, makeup others--satisfy her, make her proud. They laugh at me exposing my weakness and shame. I silence them with my stare. I told you I can’t read this. Leave me alone—Bitch get away from me. Son,” she said, “you’ve got to do this.” Didn’t have no books—she didn’t buy any—no magical blue train engine with his friends, no thousand acre forest with a whimsical bear named Winnie the Pooh and his slow friend—the clever, gray ass— nothing like that in my formative years. “Son,” she said, “don’t you want to go to high school?” Stupid questions coming at me from everywhere—all the time—from all of them. I dream of high school—even college—want to find me a good job. I see myself standing in front of the class reading my report written last night, seeing her face delight in my scholar. But that’s not me—can’t be me. I can’t read so I can’t write. I can’t write so I can’t read. Why am I here? Vicious circles all around me—lying to me, always lying. What the fuck do you want from me? “Son,” she said, “you’ve got to try.” I’m here for you, right here, right now. I’m a big ass teen, big as any man; she said I’m on a third grade level. Don’t you think I know it? I know it all too well. Fuck you, fuck her, fuck him, and fuck all of this reading and writing. Papers with hurried marks ripped and tossed, my pencil splintered in yellow wooden pieces on the floor. What the fuck do you want from me? My aim was straight—my target in range. His image mirrored mine. The bullet hit him square in his back. Blood flowed like red and black ink onto the ground. He could read and write, “literate,” she said. They spun me around, punching and kicking—them at me, me at them. Metal bracelets clench my wrists. Oh fuck! I can’t read, I can’t write, I don’t exist. What the fuck did you expect from me? “Life!” he said. Life with no chance of patrol—I’m sixteen years old. What the fuck do you want from me? What the fuck did I expect from you? Shirley G. Perry-Church, 12-4-2015

I tend to think writing using vernacular is always a great way to enter into a narrative poem. This feels like the truth to me and it is a very sad thing to read. There is nothing embellished here. It is simple, straight to the point pain. It's a dark Ehtridge Knight styled poem that gets to the core of what drives men to act and react. In all honesty as far as the shape of the poem/style of the poem it doesn't matter. This could have been written in short story style and it would be just as powerful. Seeing it lined up in stanzaic form makes the lines more powerful though. It's an unfortunate topic, but well presented.

I am also a great promoter of reading being fundamental. Some educators have theorized that readers are born, not made and certain children, if not taught how to read by a teacher, would eventually teach themselves how to read. Then, of course, there is the hurdle of comprehending what you read. Knowing how to understand what you're reading is your window to the world, and good readers are usually good writers. One thing I've noticed on FaceBook is how the average black person does not have a very good command of standard English and grammar, not to mention the proper use of homonyms, routinely using "to" when it should be "too", "there" when it should be "their", "affect" when it should be "effect", "past" when it should be "passed", "your" when it should be "you're", etc. They write the way they speak, their nouns not agreeing with their verbs, and the verb they have a very special kinship with is "be". They be messin with that word when it comes to expressing themselves. I've often wondered if this dates back to slavery when our dehumanized ancestors felt empowered by a word that reassured them that they were, indeed, a being who did exist! Nevertheless, black folks are very creative and clever when it comes to the slang words and phrases that they coin, many of these being adopted by white people, and some even absorbed into the idiom of the dominate culture. Most educated blacks are bilingual, fluent in Ebonics but able to speak the king's English when the occasion calls for it. Bottom line, using improper grammar does not reflect on a person's intelligence but it is a tool that aids in maneuvering through the greater society.

Troy, I must agree with you, Trump is nobody's idiot. Whatever is said about the man, Donald Trump is a manipulative, evil, genius to me. For the most part, I think he knows exactly what he is doing and it is presently working for him. Will he be our next president? I think not. All of America will come to their senses one way or the other and realize that his contributions for this country and for our global economy are outrageous. I am going out on a limb here to make a terrible comparison on a scale of national tragedy, pain, and suffering. Osama Bin Laden displayed evil brilliance in bringing down the World Trade Center. The events of 911 turned out better than even he had imagined. His well planned scheme was successful and made a lasting impact on the world. Bin Laden had a brilliant mind that was set to utter destruction, but he was brilliant just the same. You might disagree with me on this, but no one saw 911 coming and he damned near crippled us in a way that keeps us at war to this very day. I put Donald Trump in almost this same category. He is dangerously brilliant with measured calculations for what he wants and how he plans to get it. What is scary is that we couldn't see Osama Bin Laden coming for us. But we can see Donald Trump and his evil plans coming straight for us. This tells me loud and clear that he is not an idiot--some of his followers may be, but he, for sure, is not. Please know that I am nowhere near advocating for this kind of violence and hatred. I do not like the man or his politics. I am sharing that brilliance can exist in the presence of evil planning. The good Donald is espousing what no other presidential contenders dare to say or do--only because he can--folks who support him says so. To what end is this done? He is about to bring down what compares figuratively to our World's Trade Centers if we, as a nation and world, don't wake up and put an end to his evil genius. Mr. Brown, thanks so much for initiating this great conversation

Thanks all of you for responding to this. First to Cynique, I absolutely meant parole. Once I typed patrol, I could not see it. I had my son stand over me and read silently while I read aloud and he did not catch it. I had my hubby to read it also and he did not catch it. This is crazy. Troy, please fix this for me or tell me how without me having to re-do posting. For my part, I really want our platform to be "tight" as they say. I am going to try to slow down a little more so that I can be a bit more careful in my typing and proofreading. But meanwhile, Cynique, please stay on us. CDBurns, thanks so much for your thoughts on this. It is painful and truthful. I had a beautiful young lady come up to me one day crying. I wanted her to join our Beautiful Young Lady (BYL) Mentoring Club. Her sister had already joined and was proudly wearing her t-shirt. This 15 year old told me that she could not read--really could not read--I'm talking first grade level kind of reading. She displayed deficiencies in all five areas of reading starting with Phonemic Awareness. This girl had no real conceptualization of Phonics, Vocabulary, Reading Comprehension, and Fluency. I found this to be outrageous. How did this child get this far without a conceptual understanding of phonics? Of course, she was put in Special Education where her IEP should have taken care of this situation. IEPs, what a joke they are when they are not properly written for the child and implemented to serve. I cried with her because there are so many "throw-away" older children out there that it is almost impossible for any teacher to do one-to-one instructions with them. Earl is the tip of the iceberg and something must be done to teach our children how to read, write, and think. I see this as a major contributor to their inappropriate behaviors and their life choices. Additionally, I asked for critiques on this piece because I have plans for it. I see that education reform passed that finally gets rid of NCLB. How ironic. I know that hundreds, maybe thousands of over aged, challenged, youths were not only left behind, but they were literally forgotten. Now, when I taught reading to my kids with special needs, my babies outperformed the regular education students on their state tests. Also, I had one young man to skip a grade when he entered high school. I say this because illiteracy is not a disease. Poverty is not a disease either. They both are rampant for sure, but there is a cure. Both can be eradicated over time. I know that the system promotes poverty and illiteracy and capitalizes on it. Poor school administrators, and non performing teachers, who could care less, are paid to service this population of youths and they are not getting the job done. Of course, we all know that the prison system is a huge money maker. The problem is this: there are too many in the black community that tends to embrace this madness via blind ignorance--I have seen it. It is our responsibility to initiate change for ourselves, our children and their proper education, and our communities. Last, but not least, Troy, thanks so much. I did want to get on you about the typos, but I did not know how. It is hard to point a finger when the thumb points right back at the pointer. Anyway, we can always see mistakes made by others better than we can see our own. Hey, I like this. But I always get the message from your comments, suggestions, etc. I reiterate, we certainly need Cynique's eagle eyes on us. In response to you, I want so much to spread the word about these kids and what is happening to them. Even with education reform, you best believe there will be very little implemented by the states for our over-aged, challenged youths. Sure, vocational skills will be taught, but I want our kids to learn how to think critically, to have reason in their thoughts, to be prepared for careers over just jobs. When they read, I want them to conceptualize via visualization and other deep thought processing techniques. I watched my students light up every single day that I walked into my classroom because they knew that I was going to require them them think--to reach deep into the hidden compartments of their brains. I watched many lights brighten, but I also had a few, like Earl's, to go dim. I live in the real world; I know that we can't save them all. However, it is our responsibility and duty to save as many as we can before the prison system is over run with our beautiful black babies. Know that I am speaking of the boys and girls. Girls being incarcerated are on the rise for much of the same reasons that boys are. Now that's another story for another day. Troy, we are all aware that the initiation of innate or learned responses, or lack thereof, for children, starts at home. It is at birth that language acquisition (innate) which is imperative for reading (learned response) begins in the home with the parent(s). As a baby, if all you heard were my four letter word along with other non-motherly remarks toward and around you, your brain would acclimate so much differently than one who receives warm nurturing with great books (read to on a regular basis) in a home that advocates educational excellence. I say to you that it all starts with the proper acquisition of the English language, which we, for the most part have not fully conquered (slavery, a major contributor). I still struggle with the proper use of language--syntax, semantics that include, mechanics, grammar, structure, etc. Believe me, this impacts reading and writing tremendously!!!! Remember, this is an innate skill that the brain is prepared to accommodate, literally at birth. For real, If we don't use it, we lose it. No, I certainly agree that it is not just deficits in reading and writing that drives inappropriate decision-making for these youths. It is everything done to them not to promote their intellectual genius that starts at home and causes them to enter the educational system unprepared. It is indeed a generational deficit in the brain's capacity and capabilities that for the most part are proliferating. Despite the views of some researchers, the brain is dynamic, learning can take place for anyone, at any time, and anywhere. Well, I could go on about this for hours. However, I will end by saying thanks to you all for receiving my words. I hope there are no typos or grammatical errors

Shirley, did you mean "parole" instead of "patrol" in the next to the last line of your poem? Troy, how carefully did you proof read your last post? It might help if you type slower and not skim when you re-read something. Chris, did you mean Ethridge or does Mr. Knight spell his name the way you wrote it? LOL. Couldn't resist. I, myself, always make good use of the Edit feature on this site. Often when I post something with a long text, it's almost like a draft and a revised, edited, and corrected copy replaces the original one which is why folks might benefit from re-reading what I post over a period of a week. Now, I will gracefully(?) exit from this thread because poetry is not my forte. I do, however, have a great deal of admiration for spoken word poems recited in a rapid cadence. And for some reason, I like Rapper couplets. They are often very clever, and I love it when they use 2 words to rhyme with one. OK. I'm done. Carry on.

I'm curious as to how Trump will profit from his campaign. If he doesn't win, he'll become a pariah in corporate circles. If he does win, he'll have to put his holdings in trust and live off his presidential annual salary which is peanuts compared to what he can make in a year as a private citizen. He might be able to earn money on the lecture circuit but only for so long. I don't see his run for the presidency as a cash cow for someone who is already a billionaire. I also don't think his constituency is primary down trodden Christians. That's Cruz's and Carson's bailiwick. Trump appeals more to the macho, Joe 6-pak, gun advocate, blue collar crowd, super patriots who want America to throw its weight around, both at home and abroad. Or is he an overtly devout Christian, and he seems rather indifferent to abortion. I even think that should he win, once he takes office, he will rein in or modify many of his radical views and rely more upon expert opinions. IMO.

Thanks Troy. Here are a few corrections. Like I've said before, I need an editor with me 24/7. Site should be sight and wrong words should read strong words. Sorry everyone. This really drives me a little nuts when I do this.