Mel Hopkins

@Chevdove , @Pioneer1 knows what I wrote, he is just acting ignorant. No man (black, white et al) has ever abused me - but that doesn’t mean they were kind. It just means they behaved the way they should in society. No one gets points for behaving as s/he ought to. My former husband is the kindest man I know and was the best man for me which is why I married him. But for some reason, Pioneer believes I should lower my standards to accept any kind of behavior from a man in my life. No, it doesn’t work like that with me. I’ve never been a “good enough” woman. Further,I’m not going to accept Pioneer’s half-baked theory that black men are agressive sexual miscreants and should be accepted as such. That’s silly. Ali may be Pioneer’s ideal specimen of a man but In that video clip Pioneer posted Ali was ridiculous ; calling black Africans savages and likening his wife to a piece of retail merchandise. Ali sat in the chair spewing that nonsense and had to be corrected by a british man about African culture. Now how are you as a black man going to let a european teach you about your own culture? So I rejected Pioneer’s hero and that’s when he got butthurt and deflected to my former husband. He claimed I couldn’t speak on black men’s behavior because my ex is white. Now, I ignored that statement because it was offensive. It was as if Pioneer was saying I raised the bar that no black man could reach. - It was as if he put white men on a pedestal - something I never considered. Sure, I trolled Pioneer by playing up my husband’s features - but seriously my ex is a kind man and good father. His daughters adore him - so why would anyone condemn him. But then he used my words to fit his narrative; putting his inferiority complex on display. I can’t debate anyone’s weakness. But I do thank you, Chevdove, for hearing me. Note: I’ll do my best to retun and clean up my typos later.

@Troy Exactly!!! Here's an article written 50 years ago... and here we are today still talking about white men winning and black women straightening their hair. There's nothing "woke" about this generation... if anything they're parroting their parents and wannabe 'freedom fighters". .

@Delano long story short, yes! I believe all this ish is made up - held together by belief. The more people cosign, the stronger the bond. But none of it is real. The only thing that’s true is what you’ve experienced and after the moment is gone - so is the “proof”. Just recently the NYT had an article about the big bang theory and some other bs that we’ve all signed on to - and the bottom line was “oops we made a mistake in our calculations.” High profile scientists acting like Steve Urkel. So, yes if I like the idea - if it feels real... I will move with it - until fizzles out. Do you “know” Hawaii has allegedly increased in land mass due to the latest volcano eruption and subsequent cooling lava? So, I no longer worry about climate change or anything related. The earth is going to do what it’s going to do - despite its inhabitants. I’m just going with the flow.

@Delano Yes! Choose as in free to create; divine level creation. Like when children come up with the best tales and you say, “WTH”? Selection (decision) is to pick from what is already created or presented. That’s not choice.

@Delano I’m not at the level where I can explain free will or consciousness. I’m aware of it, I experience it ; but like gravity I don’t know the mechanics. Here’s a shot: I’ve mentioned this in another topic here that free will is Kuumba (Swahili). Its Bantu origin means “to create something from nothing”... the “nothing” in this case is use of “imagination” the place, I believe, consciousness exist. Originally, the meaning of choice was free will. The etymology of choice reveals it was different from decision which connotes selection. Today, we use them interchangeably. So of course, the original meaning “choice” which also meant “to see; perceive, to create” is lost on many. But it’s not lost on children under 5 who are able to express their consciousness. They are the best examples to watch to see free will in action. Observing children reveals consciousness is active, and present... Some believe as we age, consciousness remains more at rest than it is present. Check out this time article that obliterates everything I’ve written. I don’t care though. “I’m “free” to create and believe what I choose” http://time.com/3937351/consciousness-unconsciousness-brain/

Yes, we’re programmable. Much like any computer responding to code - we receive some basic instruction and form a habit. However, it’s free will / consciousness that allows us to reprogram ourselves too. Without free will, we’d all cling to this life until the wheels fall off . Yet, we have people who change their state of being from alive to dead, daily. We have people who literally change their lives when they change their behavior. For no other reason but they’ve decided. Further this will and consciousness isn’t just a human thing - but I’ll save that for another discussion.

@Troy , if the universe "was" created, this statement implies a creator. So the creator is controlling your responses? Did a Creator program all your responses for the duration of your operating system? Also what does "feel" have to do with veracity? Finally, if I "remember" correctly, didn't you mentioned to @Delano climate change /global warming is man-made? How is that possible if "everything" was set in motion when a creator designed and produce the universe? The universe was going to heat up anyway because a creator programmed it to heat up at this time . Humans didn't cause climate change - we couldn't have because it was already to determined we'd take the course of action that would result in it appearing that humans would cause our climate crisis. Have I accurately described your position? @Troy, This was my first time hearing it and I did like it. I even found out the story behind the song. Kind of cool.

@Troy If we were merely discussing the denotation of the word, successful; then you'd be correct. As I mentioned, it's not my definition. I'm referring to the connotation of the word successful which includes integrity ... Those you've mentioned accomplished their goals.

@Troy The emotion is ostracized but that’s too strong. This song feels like fraternizing and men bonding. While listening two images came to me - one was a scene from Lima where men were in a shopping district much like delancey street. They were sitting outside their retail shops chatting and more interested in their conversations to solve world affairs.. The other image is night life in sao paulo, brazil . Where men gather together at the restaurants. No women - just men. Now I’m going to see what this song is about

@Troy, then why did you write this? Who told you to dispute the concept of “free will” @Troy not ruling it out but what resonates is a level of vulnerability - that is more heart than head.

@Troy, that isn’t my definition of “successful”.

I don’t know any successful men (or women for that matter), who don’t possess those characteristics. Even if they must perform kind and sensitive acts in public to get the buy-in. I’m a woman - and I disagree. No man gets near me without possessing all four ... and more. Troglodytes went out in the stone age. Want to be successful today better act like you got some sense. Even Roger Stone had to beg forgiveness for acting stupid. lol. Also we see what happens if a strong and powerful woman doesn’t exhibit kind and sensitive behavior. Hmph

@Troy , no it doesn’t. However it appears you’re responding based on the supposition i’m looking for the answer to be based on a deity. I am not. Natural laws may provide an explanation but if there’s such thing as free will than there’s no deity orchestrating anything. But that side bar is ABSOLUTELY intriguing! I’ve actually written about the phenomenon in which I hypthesize that frequency of music creates worlds... and it is actually how we communicate with each other and nature. Words and talking is inadequate but it’s the intonation that we respond to. For ex. I was in the kitchen and CSpan was playing in the background... next thing I know I hear this voice and it stops me ... I run to the television like its the second coming of Jesus speaking... but actually it was U.S. Rep Hakeem Sekou Jeffries ... His voice sounded like home... and then when I researched him I realized he was “home”.. “Brooklyn in da house”!!! I couldn’t tell you what he said - because his words didn’t reach me. It was his tone that I was following... So when a true musician writes the music he usually knows what “lyrics” to put to it that will provide full expression to communicate its meaning. @Troybtw, I always understand you when you communicate from the heart.

@Troy I concur. “Nothing happens for a reason” However, I asked you to describe / explain your statement: “Everything happens for no reason.”

This is provocative statement! Please explain/describe how everything can happen for no reason...

@Chevdove, interesting! Thank you for that perspective! Yes electromagnetic radiation (see electromagnetic spectrum: for more on light wavelengths) must pass through matter to capture the image of the skeleton! Yet, our crude method of this concept (x-rays) can cause cell damage leading to cancer. My dentist took extra precaution to protect mt thyroid when I worked as a flight attendant - he said i was already getting a large dose of radiation flying the friendly skies lol! This also reminds me of a documentary I watched where some biologists observed that fasting from food for several days even a week - causes the cells to change its structuee to protect from radiation damage ... after a observing the outcome on many patients they concluded the cells changes was a throwback from when we didn’t EAT all the dang time! It allowed us to survive with little food. The thing is it didn’t turn off - so today some believe our diseases are due to not periodically fasting for a few weeks - even a few days lol. But I digress. I also remembered from scripture, Jesus, as a human, did a lot of fasting... So maybe, he knew who to rearrange his physical make-up to move through matter without damaging his body’s building blocks (atoms/adam) smile... Thank you for sharing thought-provoking concepts! I see you have a book & blog in you! Have you ever thought about using the aalbc blog feature too!

@Troy I also have to add -on occasion "that Ish happens"... no rhyme, no reason -it just does.

@Troy Exotic matter would suggest the possibility of walking through walls. For example, “atoms aren’t solid, they are loaded with space – the only reason why you can’t pass through a wall is because your atoms and the wall’s atoms are operating on a mutually interactive frequency – if you could somehow change the frequency of atoms in your body – then you could or would be able to pass through the wall – since we also see along the same frequency of visible light wavelengths the wall would also seem to disappear – but actually everything has simply moved to another dimension.” <--that's how QM SUGGEST it can be done. I'm not saying that there's proof but scientific method begins with hypothesis - not doubt. A scientist doesn't doubt. Further the scientific method requires observation ..yet the very act of observation in quantum mechanics forces its outcome to change. *** As I mentioned to @Delano the reason why I don't post as much when I'm writing is because my mind will automatically look for an explanation to something I find interesting - I was challenged by @Chevdove's comment... and my mind continued to search for an answer when I was supposed to be working(writing). I found a suggestion in a show I had on while I was writing and it triggered a memory of what I already knew about how it could be possible to pass through walls or even disappear. First you'd have to know how change your frequency , or wavelength (I learned that part back in Tech (high school) Of course, it was further explored in the Philadelphia experiment (1943). Today, we have cloaking technology maybe not the same as walking through walls but your eyes tell your mind what to believe.

@Troy Then actually you don’t stand by the generalization and that was my only complaint. By the way, those successful men who praise their mothers publicly aren’t required to do so. They do so because they believe she was responsible for their outcome - so there’s that - and since you promoted Ms. Moore’s book - you helped me prove that point too. Just think, how many others didn’t write a book but raised successful men. So while you may disagree thank you for the additional support. And of course, I’m grateful for my dad being in the “home”. (Quotation because most men work a lot outside of the home so they don’t get to raise the children anyway) - and any dad who remains a present in their child’s life... It was my dad who taught me to meet people where they are ... and to be bold yet vulnerable ... so yeah of course, well-adjusted dads are always necessary in the home. @Troy Ok we agree here... because it was my dad who helped me to channel mine! Socioeconomic reality... I always forget about that part. My bad. Carry-on.

@Troy please stop with the generalizations! There are far too many successful men who in public acknowledge they were raised by their mothers (ONLY). Still women don't raise "boys" they raise adults. Parents raise adults those who don't soon find they have grown-azz babies on their hands. AND it appears that @Chevdove knows her son and the young women he attracts better than he knows himself. She was well in her right to pull him aside and remind him of how this "fatal" attraction could go south...and then next thing you know we'd have a Justin Fairfax-like scandal. Note: Chevdove is his mother. Which is far different than the conversation we've had here where some men think it's their job to raise their love interest.

@Pioneer1 Correction: I'm no longer married to him. He is still the father my children and we've spent practically every major holiday together for the last 2 decades. I'm sure I've written why we divorced somewhere in this forum. If I didn't, I'm not going to rehash it. Here's the short version: irreconcilable differences. He had a momentary lapse in judgment (his words). He didn't want to divorce. I didn't like being married.

@Troy , I did one more test.. I used my firefox browser and looked for my book, David Covin book, Victor LaValle and Toni Morrison's books. My book, Sleeping with a D-Man and Raisins in the Milk are both on the first google page in the search. I couldn't find an aalbc page for popular authors Morrison and LaValle nor their books.

on desktop I found aalbc on page 5 - but here's some good news...my aalbc author profile is on google page 2

False - Women give birth to men. - men come from women. The first rhythm a man hears is his mother’s heart beat. Therefore, if anything. a man sees his reflection in woman. How a man treats a woman is how he feels about himself. But that is just as ridiculous as what you’ve written. Every animal including humans imitate their immediate environment. If I see my reflection in anyone, it’s my parents. It’s those two who taught me how to carry myself and relate to the world. Further, it’s not only black women and men who come from the same place, EVERY human on the planet comes from the same place; Africa. Now, if we’re speaking about which area of the huge continent we migrated/or kidnapped from and when; then matrilineally/genetically speaking My ancestors ascended from Ethiopia - allegedly 85,000 + years ago. There are no enslaved Africans in America on my maternal side. I doubt I even share a genetic code with anyone here. Let alone a “reflection”. Besides Troy, I’ve yet to meet a black man on here or on my journey who has shared or had the same experiences as I. Delano and I share a similar metaphysical consciousness. So generally speaking it would be impossible to see my reflection in any black man. I rarely have anything in common with black men specifically, men generally. I think the challenge here as Delano mentioned is speaking in generalities to individuals. We are not a single story people. But if you chose to make us ONE then it must include all modern humans who ascended out of Africa. All shades and colors.

@Delano Will you at least post a “nut graph” with the link so I’ll know why you found it interesting? Also, just posting links looks kinda “spammy” -