Mel Hopkins

@Delano me too Twin! I’m in a macro phase right now. I feel frustration when someone wants me to focus on minutia.. It feels like I’m way out there right (wherever that is) taking in the big picture.

@Delano , the action is highlighted in your quote above. I read it the first time but it resonated when @Chevdove quoted as further insight. When I "created" a man perfect for me - it was so I wouldn't have the unpleasant experiences of my previous relationships. BUT that's not choosing,at all. That's NOT Kuumba (divine creation)" that's freakin' commentary!!! Creation would be envisage a desired marriage based on nothing in existence... When I reread your quote, it clarified a lot of things for me. It reminds me of that other quote attributed to Einstein "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Thank you!

@Chevdove man! I hope you had/have a vocation in government and public affairs - because you are beautiful and have a beautiful way about you too! A lot of wars would not have been started if you were at Camp David! 😊 Also @Delano dang! Choosing based on past experiences is actually the antithesis of creation... Damn... maybe we’ve been doing this life thing all wrong. Thank you Delano and thank you @Chevdove for quoting!! Welp, “No lies detected here”.

And their lies your problem @Pioneer1 you let your imagination do your thinking and you create nothing of value. I never wrote I resented black men -you wrote that I did. Why do you want to know about my experiences with black men or any man? You wouldn’t understand it anyway. Heck, you don’t even have the guts to put your skin in the game. It takes courage to be vulnerable to another person.. to allow them to get close enough to even be hurt by them. It takes even more courage and heart to bring children in a world that’s brutal... It’s even more difficult to raise them up to be productive healthy and happy - even if they were an “accident”... yet I did just that. No, Pioneer you don’t get to live vicariously through my “stories”... You don’t get to know what black men did in my relationships with them. Here’s all you need to know about them - They are/ were brave enough to engage. Smh

@Pioneer1 maybe, but effective. you”ve been unmasked as a hater of black women. Now it makes sense why you “say” you never married a black woman.. you “said” you made them call you daddy , but you played them. And didn’t you “say” “no children” too? Is that a conscious decision? Is it the truth? Did you lose a child? (If so, my condolences) BUT If you can make babies, do you hate black women so much, you don’t even want to procreate with us? Wow! So, unless it’s a health problem - you didn’t even make a contribution to our “black” family. Well dang, at least me and black man had a baby together. All that whining about “white supremacy” and it turns out “you” the hater here.

@Delano thank you! But let’s not use Pioneer’s avatar as an example of how black men behave. His account is not a representative of any black man I take seriously. At least none I’ve ever met in real life. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again - his avatar reminds me of a group of people using one account. The Pioneer1 account displays as the social media’s version of FBI’s cointelpro... or the reverse black kkk lol - I’m not phased by the Pioneer1 account - I’m tickled by it ... reminds me of the black uncle everyone keeps their distance from and says “yea ok”.

@Pioneer1what are you going to do file police charges on my behalf? Sign up to be my fixer? Lol! get out of here with your little list. You’re not qualified to assess what women find too difficult to talk about.

@Pioneer1 Why do you ask?

Welp, @Troy your response to Chevdove applies perfectly to your explanation to me...And I couldn’t have said it better. Your foundation forms your worldview. Everything you’ve “learned” is synthesize through that lens.

You’re welcome! Between you, Cynique, Chevdove , things are never stale!

Really @Troy? Really Agent Provocateur? Then this means you don’t have a clue as to what influences your own behavior. You came from a woman. A woman gave you your primary education. It’s the same education that you built on. So, since your mother didn’t know what influenced her, your foundation is weak at best. Would this be correct? If yes, then I’m not sure what influence you’re under but those black men are the norm. There’s a reason we women call some black men “rare air” brothers. They are rare! But for the average black man? I can predict what they are going to say before they say it. Same thing Nubian wrote; what you call the “red pill” was said by some tired ole “woke” “militant” 50 years ago. I even posted the article. The tired rhetoric is INEFFECTIVE. Ain’t nothing life-changing about some rehashed 50-year-old commentary on black women. You say don’t go on social media? This is social media! And the same thing young black men say on twitter, facebook, instagram is the same exact thing said here! Except there, they plug in the latest celebrity’s name to go with the rhetoric. The young black women even have a “name” for those young black men...”F-Boys” and “Ashy Larry” They even add twitter accounts to list so ofher young black women know who to avoid. I guess they know who IS not an influencer. So, anyway, you may not know the names but you do know the language. It’s the same. @Del and Richard Murrary bring new thought to the forum... but maybe that’s because Del left the states... or simply both have elevated their thinking. Anyway, folks like shiny things...you should know this by now - or is it lost on you that you’re inviting purple hair women into your orbit? smh And yes, I selected Shakespeare on purpose because contrary to your misguided belief I’m 100 percent conscious. i’m very deliberate in my actions. Like I said those were painful life lessons but they taught me how land body blows. Heh heh heh...

This is powerful! We do protect a black man’s image, don’t we? I think this is why so many are having a negative reaction to the R Kelly saga... Black women have covered black men for so long - that many (mostly men but women too) are shocked that a black woman produced and directed the film that gave his alleged victims a platform. Many black women have normalized the horrible treatment they’ve receive at the hands of black men, they call men “soft” who treat them well. Go on social media and you’ll see some black men say they are supposed to be “Future” to their “Ciara”. Instead of being kind to their woman; as Ciara’s husband “Russell” is to her. Those are the same black men who believe Ciara will tire of how well her husband treats her and her son with Future and she’ll come crawling back to Future. That’s how brain damaged some of young black men (and black women) are today. But I digress. I know some of my experiences with black men aren’t for publication either. And I can tell you, it’s those stories that haunt me; making it difficult to finish my second book. Some times, I tell myself that I’m being too sensitive or maybe I deserved it - but then I realize that is exactly how battered women rationalize their relationship experiences. So, yes I’ve been sorely disrespected by many black men. None of it deserved. But those experiences afforded me a lot of painful life lessons too. And now I know what it is like to experience kindness. Yet, I absolutely understand your position.

Welp, your comprehension is illogical and that’s shoddy math. But if that’s your world view then you own it. Your inferiority complex has nothing to do with me or my words. As for this topic; it states the obvious. Black women ARE beautiful. It is part of record and was never up for debate. “Then will I swear beauty herself is black,   And all they foul that thy complexion lack.” Shakespeare~ Sonnet 132

True Story: I almost lost a full month of Amazon fees because I hadn't checked my own website during the month of February. Shortest month of the year and I took my eye off the prize and learned a valuable lesson. Don't let it happen to you. Here's my cautionary tale for those of you who mind everyone's business but their own..

@Pioneer1I see you had to add a word to make your weak point. Wow, now it's really clear why you posted that Ali clip ...pathetic recognizes pathetic. Further , I know English isn't your first language but there's a difference between "THIS" and "A"... now since I'm not your ESL teacher , I should leave it there, but I'm feeling charitable today. Those articles change the context of THE sentence. So before you attempt to imply I'm speaking for an entire ethnic group; brush up on your English skills. As for him being the kindest man - you're correct he is kinder than any other man (from any other ethnic group) I've known. Certainly kinder than your hero (in his early days) but that's really a disservice to my former husband ...because your Hero , the young Ali, was on some crazy ish back then.

Heh, heh, heh... Keep hope alive, Alum!!!😃

@Troy O/T according to the last census there are only 325 million people in the U.S. and 13.7 % means there's about 44 million black people in the U.S. - Anyway, I agree - EBONY has 1.6 million circulation and 11 million readers Black Enterprise circulation is 500K with 4 million readers each month - so yes, even if only black people patronized ; we'd have enough people to keep these magazines and newspapers in print. Social media, yes including AALBC forums, tell some of the story but its mostly commentary. Still it is important to have original works and media ownership. The million-dollar question is why we don't. By the way, Technite L. Londell McMillan is the current owner and group publisher of The NorthStar Group, which publishes Jones Magazine and The Source. Update: Just checked The Source and Jones Magazine online and doesn't look like there's much activity there either.

@Delano, yes! Psychic twin, I need this skill. i wrote the same thing in response to a post here - but mine was 350+ words... yet this is exactly what I meant!

@Chevdove , @Pioneer1 knows what I wrote, he is just acting ignorant. No man (black, white et al) has ever abused me - but that doesn’t mean they were kind. It just means they behaved the way they should in society. No one gets points for behaving as s/he ought to. My former husband is the kindest man I know and was the best man for me which is why I married him. But for some reason, Pioneer believes I should lower my standards to accept any kind of behavior from a man in my life. No, it doesn’t work like that with me. I’ve never been a “good enough” woman. Further,I’m not going to accept Pioneer’s half-baked theory that black men are agressive sexual miscreants and should be accepted as such. That’s silly. Ali may be Pioneer’s ideal specimen of a man but In that video clip Pioneer posted Ali was ridiculous ; calling black Africans savages and likening his wife to a piece of retail merchandise. Ali sat in the chair spewing that nonsense and had to be corrected by a british man about African culture. Now how are you as a black man going to let a european teach you about your own culture? So I rejected Pioneer’s hero and that’s when he got butthurt and deflected to my former husband. He claimed I couldn’t speak on black men’s behavior because my ex is white. Now, I ignored that statement because it was offensive. It was as if Pioneer was saying I raised the bar that no black man could reach. - It was as if he put white men on a pedestal - something I never considered. Sure, I trolled Pioneer by playing up my husband’s features - but seriously my ex is a kind man and good father. His daughters adore him - so why would anyone condemn him. But then he used my words to fit his narrative; putting his inferiority complex on display. I can’t debate anyone’s weakness. But I do thank you, Chevdove, for hearing me. Note: I’ll do my best to retun and clean up my typos later.

@Troy Exactly!!! Here's an article written 50 years ago... and here we are today still talking about white men winning and black women straightening their hair. There's nothing "woke" about this generation... if anything they're parroting their parents and wannabe 'freedom fighters". .

@Delano long story short, yes! I believe all this ish is made up - held together by belief. The more people cosign, the stronger the bond. But none of it is real. The only thing that’s true is what you’ve experienced and after the moment is gone - so is the “proof”. Just recently the NYT had an article about the big bang theory and some other bs that we’ve all signed on to - and the bottom line was “oops we made a mistake in our calculations.” High profile scientists acting like Steve Urkel. So, yes if I like the idea - if it feels real... I will move with it - until fizzles out. Do you “know” Hawaii has allegedly increased in land mass due to the latest volcano eruption and subsequent cooling lava? So, I no longer worry about climate change or anything related. The earth is going to do what it’s going to do - despite its inhabitants. I’m just going with the flow.

@Delano Yes! Choose as in free to create; divine level creation. Like when children come up with the best tales and you say, “WTH”? Selection (decision) is to pick from what is already created or presented. That’s not choice.

@Delano I’m not at the level where I can explain free will or consciousness. I’m aware of it, I experience it ; but like gravity I don’t know the mechanics. Here’s a shot: I’ve mentioned this in another topic here that free will is Kuumba (Swahili). Its Bantu origin means “to create something from nothing”... the “nothing” in this case is use of “imagination” the place, I believe, consciousness exist. Originally, the meaning of choice was free will. The etymology of choice reveals it was different from decision which connotes selection. Today, we use them interchangeably. So of course, the original meaning “choice” which also meant “to see; perceive, to create” is lost on many. But it’s not lost on children under 5 who are able to express their consciousness. They are the best examples to watch to see free will in action. Observing children reveals consciousness is active, and present... Some believe as we age, consciousness remains more at rest than it is present. Check out this time article that obliterates everything I’ve written. I don’t care though. “I’m “free” to create and believe what I choose” http://time.com/3937351/consciousness-unconsciousness-brain/

Yes, we’re programmable. Much like any computer responding to code - we receive some basic instruction and form a habit. However, it’s free will / consciousness that allows us to reprogram ourselves too. Without free will, we’d all cling to this life until the wheels fall off . Yet, we have people who change their state of being from alive to dead, daily. We have people who literally change their lives when they change their behavior. For no other reason but they’ve decided. Further this will and consciousness isn’t just a human thing - but I’ll save that for another discussion.

@Troy , if the universe "was" created, this statement implies a creator. So the creator is controlling your responses? Did a Creator program all your responses for the duration of your operating system? Also what does "feel" have to do with veracity? Finally, if I "remember" correctly, didn't you mentioned to @Delano climate change /global warming is man-made? How is that possible if "everything" was set in motion when a creator designed and produce the universe? The universe was going to heat up anyway because a creator programmed it to heat up at this time . Humans didn't cause climate change - we couldn't have because it was already to determined we'd take the course of action that would result in it appearing that humans would cause our climate crisis. Have I accurately described your position? @Troy, This was my first time hearing it and I did like it. I even found out the story behind the song. Kind of cool.