Mel Hopkins

Do you have an example? I'm honestly asking because I don't know or remember any high-profile couples in which white women fall back. Usually, they are building wealth alongside their husbands, and it is public knowledge. Building together is why those women leave the marriage with half the wealth. Again, their goals align.

Each of us inhabits this dimension to live our own unique life, not to conform to someone else’s expectations. Regret is a human emotion, and ethnicity, race, or sex doesn't play a part in that experience. Maybe, in some Black marriages, you’ll see a Black woman support her husband’s goals as in the “Pastor and First Lady” archetype. Or you’ll see it in the gangster and gun moll marriages,” but what those marriages have is goal alignment. Bill and Hillary have goal alignment. On the surface, it appears Michelle and Barack did not. Further, earning millions isn’t everyone’s goal. The defining difference between the Clintons' marriage and the Obamas is the pursuit of self-actualization. By the time Bill became governor, Hillary had accomplished several goals. She launched her children's initiatives AND became a partner at her law firm. She also gave birth. As First Lady, Hillary tackled healthcare policy and even took fire for “stepping outside the First Lady lane.. Former President Clinton served two terms and was impeached but not convicted. She went on "60 Minutes" and let the world know she wasn't a Tammy Wynette "Stand by your man" woman. How she handled the infidelity in her marriage was separate from how she was perceived in public. She said, "Vote for him or don't." The Clintons left the White House, but Hillary didn’t leave Washington. Hillary turned around and ran for Senator and won. She ran as the Democratic presidential candidate but was bested by Barack Obama. Then, Barack tapped her for Secretary of State…After serving two terms, Barack was endorsed by Hillary, and she became the first woman presidential candidate for a major party. She won the popular vote in her bid but lost the electoral college to a con man. All in all, Hillary didn’t have to sacrifice her dreams for Bill; his dreams aligned with Hillary's goals. In contrast, Barack and Michelle had similar goals. Both worked for nonprofits and were lawyers, but Michelle said that before meeting Barack, she wanted to focus on her career. She deferred her dreams to allow her husband to realize his. So, are you even begrudging Michelle for expressing her feelings when she still made the sacrifice? Michelle became an extra in her own life, and as a spectator, she wrote books, albeit bestsellers, but Michelle will never know what she could have done with her "dash" (the dash is between the time we're born and die) In such cases, it's natural for a spouse to express disappointment if they regret sacrificing their dreams. The same would be true if a husband deferred his dreams to support his wife's goals. It stands to reason why some powerful men pursue women whose aspirations are limited to becoming wealthy by marriage. This reasoning also explains why some powerful women walk alone while others become power couples with men whose dreams align. In Senator Booker's case, his sexuality may inform his life's perspective. If he identifies as gay, then maybe he realizes no man would be willing to sacrifice his autonomy to be with him. If he identifies as heterosexual, then he is a rare man who also realizes no woman should sacrifice her independence and dreams to live in the shadow of his goals. "Behind Every Man is a Good Woman" is a saying that resulted from white supremacy and patriarchy, which forced women into gender roles where she was an unpaid laborer handling all the tasks so that all a man had to do was "think." "Good" in this respect meant forced obedience - i.e., domestic enslavement. So, you assume that Cory needs a domestic to do great things? He shows you he can pay someone for their work - no free labor required while he's living his dreams.

Brother @ProfD Michelle gave up her career, though. Remember, she was a senior-level lawyer at the firm where they both worked. She talked about how many adjustments she had to make to her life to be with the former President. She was the side-chick in their marriage because the President was in office for two terms. The U.S. was his priority. That's a long time to be without your man and unable to be with anyone else. 'I Was In a Deep Deficit with My Wife': Barack Obama Says He's 'Digging' Himself Out of the Hole with Wife Michelle Amid Infidelity and Divorce Rumors I met Mrs. Obama at the Chicago Foundation of Women's luncheon 2004. And let me tell you, many women who came up to greet her before me said the same thing: "Thank you for doing this." And that's when he was campaigning for U.S. Senator. Except he's a Democrat like Former Secretary Pete. If Sen Booker wanted to be openly gay like other Black politicians, no one would Blink. It's not like being a Republican, where you have to stay behind the "bathroom stalls." Kidding aside, we as a culture place a lot of weight on sexuality. What if Sen. Booker has a celibate lifestyle? 👀

Iono! Probably lifestyle demands. Seriously, though, his backstory reminds me of a man focused on his mission. At the same time, he probably needs to be with someone who understands that life. Think about it: if he wanted to be in a lavender marriage, that would be easy enough to achieve. His life is driven by something different from what regular folks would understand.

Yep! That is exactly what the Temple priestesses are reported to have done because they had other goals for civilization. Great point! Also, I felt energized by his statement. His commentary allowed us to go deeper into the tribal question. As I answered the question, I realized how the Romans and Saxons pushed society into a tribal affiliation. Even today, with Donald and Elon's shenanigans, we are forced to "squabble up." So, while I believe we are family first, certain conditions may cause us to become tribal for war.

Thank you!!! 🤗

According to news reports, RuPaul is Cory Booker's cousin.

You might be surprised to learn that "universal equal rights" isn't a new concept. It was the way humans coexisted for nearly two million years. Men and women worked together, and there was a division of labor—and I don't mean women collected berries, and men hunted wild animals either—both did everything. Egalitarianism was the way of the world before patriarchy took over nearly 17,000 years ago. When patriarchy showed up, so did slavery, subjugation, storage, stealing, murder, marrying children, etc... If you consider the mythos of a God impregnating Mary against her will - then you can see what led grown men to believe they had permission to take children (girls) as their property for procreation, and boys as their sex toys for pleasure. This is all courtesy of patriarchy. Nubia, Ancient Egypt, had no such mythos. Remember, their belief was Ma'at, and their emphasis was on family, a consensual agreement of "Father, Mother, and Child." In fact, I haven't read any mythology of African gods taking advantage of humans unless it was a cautionary tale. Note: The cult of Isis/Aset ended in the second century of the Common Era, and the first assembled Bible came around the 4th century of the Common Era. At the same time, Ethiopians opened their first Christian church. Note: Ethiopians under Makeda (Candace), Queen of Sheba, were Pagans who worshipped the moon and the stars, but Ethiopia was also the center of trade -(so do with that what you will). Prostitution in patriarchy is a lot different than it was towards the end of the matrilineal/egalitarian society. Prostitutes were Temple Priestesses during the Cult of Isis/Aset. The Goddess Isis/Aset had the world In a chokehold from Kemet(Ancient Egypt) to Rome to Greece, and Roman rulers made sure they demonized women, their menstrual cycle, which was their source of power and wisdom, and their affinity for using serpents in their Sacred Temple ceremonies. We ended up with Eve and the serpent in the Pentateuch for Hebrews. We already know there was a kink in Adam and Eve's mythology because if not, their God wouldn't need to protect Cain from anyone outside their "tribe."

It was gorgeous, and we even got some pictures!

If I were writing a dissertation, I would include your perspective on family and clan. While some people choose not to speak with family members as they age, it is absolutely a constant because it is necessary for survival. However, I would not attempt to defend the "social" by nature claim. There are too many outliers of human displays of asocial and antisocial behavior including those who display it in early years.

Ancestrally speaking, we are family first. Throughout history, it seems as though Africans wouldn't marry their siblings unless absolutely necessary. From what I read, however, I don't think cousins, aunts, and uncles were off-limits. Maybe our "tribes" are extended family members, and some family members by marriage. For example, my second cousin is married to a woman whose uncle is Eric Adams, the Mayor of New York. So, through marriage, one of my family/tribe members just escaped federal indictment because one member has ties with Donald. Maybe the primary reason tribes form from family members is protection.

Hi @Chevdove Thank you so much. 💗

Thank you for our inheritance. There's a saying about inheritance. "70% of wealthy families will lose their wealth by the second generation, and 90% will lose it by the third." " The saying highlights the challenges of maintaining wealth across generations. It emphasizes the importance of passing down wealth and knowledge faithfully to the next generation." Late boomers (Gen Jones), Gen X, and Millennials never learned how to keep the rights we gained from your generation. We squandered and lost our inheritance. Now we're here.

🙏🏽 Thank you so much. 💗 As I mentioned earlier about remembering the ancestors' way to honor our loved one's transition, questioning our place in the world when one departs is one of those rites. Cheyenne told me that if anyone in our family had to get cancer, she felt that she was the best one to handle it. When she was eight, she told me, "Do what you desire before your heart expires." And when I say she lived - she did. When Cheyenne transitioned, I wondered who would fill her space and who would show up and bring joy to others as she did. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder why Cheyenne? Or I wonder why my father didn't survive that bullet wound. Plenty of people survive getting shot. Why do some of us have longevity and not others? I think we forgot our power. This is why these systems use us, abuse us, and drain us. We have the power to choose when we arrive when we depart, and how we live in between. I trust our timing and our agreements with ourselves. Thank you for being here.

🙏🏽 Thank you so much. 💗

Are you sure about that? My married heterosexual-all-man neighbor pays many folks to maintain his property. He doesn't make money by bothering with little things; time is still money. His time is better spent handling the business that pays him, and he then spreads the wealth to the community. I paid my Nigerian carpenter to re-build my closet. I could have done it, but I was working for my married heterosexual Black man research scientist client - who pays me for my content marketing skills. Skills he could easily do for himself but would rather pay me for my skills so I could eat too. Black people pay others to produce vibrant Black communities where "everybody eats, b." Places like Black Wall Street didn't grow because "manly-men" did everything for themselves. Hi @Pioneer1 🙋🏽‍♀️👋🏽

Thank you, Pioneer. Yes, she's my daughter, my baby girl. She loved it here. She told me before she passed away. She also lived life - she was courageous. She was on a mission, and by the turnout at her Celebration, she touched a lot of folks with her light and life. One of her high school classmates learned of her passing and came from Seattle to Cincinnati to say fare well. He told us that when he was friendless, Cheyenne became his first friend. Cheyenne wanted to be treated by traditional medicine - and she was. However, she had to push her initial health caregiver even to test her when she told them of her symptoms. Cheyenne didn't take "no" for an answer. It was after the treatment that she realized that the treatments were inadequate - more for money and destabilizing than curing. This is what she wanted everyone to know. What I learned during her experience, as@ProfD alluded to is that many pharmaceuticals could heal and possibly even cure, but those treatments are reserved for the wealthy. Two days before Cheyenne suffered seizures, the doctors prescribed a therapy that could reach her brain, but they had to wait for her insurance provider to approve it. They did the same day she transitioned. Oddly enough, they could have prescribed the medicine before her brain surgery. - My daughter and I are not separated. The part of her who is eternal is still with me. I don't remember the skills to engage with her as I did when she was here in the flesh. I do, however, remember how my ancestors processed the transitioning of our loved ones, and it is a lot different from how Western civilization deals with the death of the body. So, while I miss her physical incarnation, her soul is boundless. ❤️‍🔥 I made this post because I want us to think about our health care—especially as Black people, we must reach back to our ancestral ways to maintain our health. Despite my daughter's paternity—she got her mtDNA from me—mitochondrial DNA, which comes from the mother to its offspring. The mtDNA houses ATP, also known as the God cell, that gives us life and our cells' energy. The medical establishment knows this even though lay people don't. As Prof D said, cancer has been around for millennia, we must remember the ways of our ancestors to survive.

Black people, particularly a Black woman, aren't funded!

@ProfD Hi! Thank you! Same to you! Oh Snap! I didn't even realize I hadn't made a post this year! 🤗

In October, I lost my youngest twin daughter to breast cancer. She didn't have health insurance when she found out. Still, she got health insurance through Obamacare (Affordable Care Act.) Several months after cancer treatments, she went into remission after treatments. Still, she refused radiation because there was a possibility of leaving her mentally and physically disabled. By then, the cost of her treatment was nearly a quarter of a million dollars, a poisoned and mutilated body. She lost so much, but she refused to give up her way of life. The cancer treatments didn't extinguish her light, though. She was still helping others see what a gift life was to them and how they could use it to lift others up. When the cancer returned, this time to her brain, she again chose life, submitting herself to brain surgery and another quarter of a million dollars. She came through with flying colors, and two days later, we were sitting across from each other at this beautiful restaurant. A month after her brain surgery, my dear BabyGirl was brain dead. Before the doctor removed her breathing tube, her family, friends, and her former boyfriend made it to her bedside. We had her funeral right there, and a month later, my BabyGirl's Twin sister and her best friend threw the most incredible Celebration of Life for her. We miss...I miss her terribly. However, it didn't change how I feel about the way the establishment treats cancer. It is a money-maker for the healthcare industry at the cost of lives, whether we survive for a few years or die. In January, a month after what would have been my daughter's 33rd birthday, a debt-collecting attorney for the hospital sent a bill for $300,000 to her estate. I've always given cancer treatments the side-eye. I'm not even into the SGK "pink" tober bullsh*t. I wondered what was the point of all that poison, disfigurement, mutilation, and radiation that ended with my daughter's untimely death. Btw, I don't say "eff cancer" because cancer cells are very personal - cancer is your DNA which is why no one can catch it from another. And just like you want to live, so do your cancer cells. Kill cancer cells, and you will most likely kill your noncancerous cells, too. Cancer cells are just doing what any living thing does, which exists and even thrive. Except cancer cells eventually kill their host. So, keep your cortisol low, and take your wealth and health treatment seriously. Your health, wealth, and quality of life are on the line. Below are three journalists, two of whom have tackled breast cancer differently. Ananda Lewis, by the way, decided to do nothing in the beginning and is also against mastectomy and is in stage 4 cancer -(which means cancer has spread throughout her body - death is imminent.) However, she's still here, and she did alternative therapies. These three women express many things I want to share in this post, but they deliver it way better.

@Troy 📚 Do Black Readers Prefer White Authors on Black Subject Matter? I remember a study you conducted on Black book sales where you discovered that Black subject matter books written by white authors tend to outsell those written by Black authors. Drawing from that information—and taking a bit of a leap—it almost seems like: Black readers may buy books to see how white authors perceive Black people. White readers may purchase these books to confirm what they already believe about Black people. 💡 Why the Sales Gap? Since Black readers live the Black experience daily, they may not see a strong return on investment (ROI) in reading narratives that reflect their lived reality. This idea might also explain why fewer Black users engage with this forum now that other platforms offer more tailored spaces. 🌐 The Changing Landscape of Online Engagement Forum regulars here probably come from eclectic backgrounds, which has always been our strength. We bring a diversity of thought and learn from each other. However, we may be facing a challenge: We're not Gen Z or Gen Alpha, which makes it harder to attract younger users. Online engagement dynamics have shifted, and we may no longer appeal to the new crowd. Possible Solution: You may need to bring in influencers to boost forum engagement, even if it means hiring them. 👉 Reality Check: Our regular posters may have outgrown their attractiveness to newer audiences. We're primarily conservatives with a progressive slant, and we often observe and gather information without aiming to convert or engage in activism. 🔥 Pioneer's Smoke Alarm Topic – A Case Study in Environmental Sociology Pioneer’s topic about smoke alarms is a prime example of a thesis-worthy environmental sociology discussion. It made me think about my own neighborhood: I live in an 800+ single-family home subdivision and walk it regularly with my pup. The only time I’ve heard a chirping smoke detector was when my next-door neighbor moved to a 10-acre property and couldn’t change the battery right away. Even though the house was empty, they still changed the battery because of the risk of property loss. 🛠️ Black People, Wealth, and Home Maintenance Pioneer’s observation overlooks the possibility that Black, single, or married individuals with financial means are more likely to pay someone to handle maintenance tasks, including changing smoke alarm batteries. Kevin Samuels often spoke about a specific demographic, but in reality: Black women with money don’t need a man to handle home maintenance. With platforms like Thumbtack and Angi's List available, they can easily outsource these tasks. For context, my former neighbor (single with kids and on her way to generational wealth) ensures her smoke alarms are maintained—either by doing it herself or hiring help. (For the record, I do the same.) 💡 The ROI of the Smoke Alarm Topic The smoke alarm conversation highlights an interesting point: people like to compare themselves to others. However, that curiosity alone isn’t enough to convince people to give up their PII (Personally Identifiable Information) and actively engage on a platform. 🎯 Final Thoughts: Time for New Strategies? If we want to reignite engagement and attract a wider audience, it might be time to: ✅ Leverage influencers to promote the forum. ✅ Introduce fresh topics that resonate with younger generations. ✅ Consider how we can offer value that makes people willing to engage despite privacy concerns. 💬 What’s your take? Do you think bringing in influencers could help, or is there another approach we’re overlooking? This version is structured to: ✅ Encourage thoughtful responses. ✅ Highlight key insights with subheadings and bullet points. ✅ Spark engagement by ending with an open-ended question. Ready to re-energize the conversation? Let’s get the forum buzzing again! 🚀 Note: I wrote my response and then I asked ChatGPT to make it more engaging for this forum. Just another suggestion on how to grow engagement

You may have missed the memo—after this last election, Black women declared they are caring for themselves and protecting each other. After 80% of Black men polled voted for VP Harris, we'll give them a plate, a place to rest, and nurturing while they are on the battlefield fighting for us. So, no matter where Cynique and I find ourselves, we will be caring for each other. 🥰

Exactly! But keep in mind President Biden won Georgia's electoral votes by a little over 11,000 popular votes.

I remember your post! Thank You @aka Contrarian ! I agree it is a strategy. It worked well in 2016. So, couple that with naive individuals registering to vote on E. Musk's website, and here we are. No matter where I land, I'm going to vote. I flew all over the world as a flight attendant from 2008-2016 and never missed a vote. There is never a reason not to vote. I mean, a 100-year-old hanging by a thread, former President Jimmy Carter, voted in this last election! So eff those 36 percenters.

I will always leave foolishness. Also, my maternal ancestors didn't arrive here the same way many African Americans did. We don't even share the same mtDNA. So, it appears that leaving/fleeing is one of my ancestors' character traits. 😉 Let's get 'em! ✊ 🥰