Mel Hopkins

@Troy I also have to add -on occasion "that Ish happens"... no rhyme, no reason -it just does.

@Troy Exotic matter would suggest the possibility of walking through walls. For example, “atoms aren’t solid, they are loaded with space – the only reason why you can’t pass through a wall is because your atoms and the wall’s atoms are operating on a mutually interactive frequency – if you could somehow change the frequency of atoms in your body – then you could or would be able to pass through the wall – since we also see along the same frequency of visible light wavelengths the wall would also seem to disappear – but actually everything has simply moved to another dimension.” <--that's how QM SUGGEST it can be done. I'm not saying that there's proof but scientific method begins with hypothesis - not doubt. A scientist doesn't doubt. Further the scientific method requires observation ..yet the very act of observation in quantum mechanics forces its outcome to change. *** As I mentioned to @Delano the reason why I don't post as much when I'm writing is because my mind will automatically look for an explanation to something I find interesting - I was challenged by @Chevdove's comment... and my mind continued to search for an answer when I was supposed to be working(writing). I found a suggestion in a show I had on while I was writing and it triggered a memory of what I already knew about how it could be possible to pass through walls or even disappear. First you'd have to know how change your frequency , or wavelength (I learned that part back in Tech (high school) Of course, it was further explored in the Philadelphia experiment (1943). Today, we have cloaking technology maybe not the same as walking through walls but your eyes tell your mind what to believe.

@Troy Then actually you don’t stand by the generalization and that was my only complaint. By the way, those successful men who praise their mothers publicly aren’t required to do so. They do so because they believe she was responsible for their outcome - so there’s that - and since you promoted Ms. Moore’s book - you helped me prove that point too. Just think, how many others didn’t write a book but raised successful men. So while you may disagree thank you for the additional support. And of course, I’m grateful for my dad being in the “home”. (Quotation because most men work a lot outside of the home so they don’t get to raise the children anyway) - and any dad who remains a present in their child’s life... It was my dad who taught me to meet people where they are ... and to be bold yet vulnerable ... so yeah of course, well-adjusted dads are always necessary in the home. @Troy Ok we agree here... because it was my dad who helped me to channel mine! Socioeconomic reality... I always forget about that part. My bad. Carry-on.

@Troy please stop with the generalizations! There are far too many successful men who in public acknowledge they were raised by their mothers (ONLY). Still women don't raise "boys" they raise adults. Parents raise adults those who don't soon find they have grown-azz babies on their hands. AND it appears that @Chevdove knows her son and the young women he attracts better than he knows himself. She was well in her right to pull him aside and remind him of how this "fatal" attraction could go south...and then next thing you know we'd have a Justin Fairfax-like scandal. Note: Chevdove is his mother. Which is far different than the conversation we've had here where some men think it's their job to raise their love interest.

@Pioneer1 Correction: I'm no longer married to him. He is still the father my children and we've spent practically every major holiday together for the last 2 decades. I'm sure I've written why we divorced somewhere in this forum. If I didn't, I'm not going to rehash it. Here's the short version: irreconcilable differences. He had a momentary lapse in judgment (his words). He didn't want to divorce. I didn't like being married.

@Troy , I did one more test.. I used my firefox browser and looked for my book, David Covin book, Victor LaValle and Toni Morrison's books. My book, Sleeping with a D-Man and Raisins in the Milk are both on the first google page in the search. I couldn't find an aalbc page for popular authors Morrison and LaValle nor their books.

on desktop I found aalbc on page 5 - but here's some good news...my aalbc author profile is on google page 2

False - Women give birth to men. - men come from women. The first rhythm a man hears is his mother’s heart beat. Therefore, if anything. a man sees his reflection in woman. How a man treats a woman is how he feels about himself. But that is just as ridiculous as what you’ve written. Every animal including humans imitate their immediate environment. If I see my reflection in anyone, it’s my parents. It’s those two who taught me how to carry myself and relate to the world. Further, it’s not only black women and men who come from the same place, EVERY human on the planet comes from the same place; Africa. Now, if we’re speaking about which area of the huge continent we migrated/or kidnapped from and when; then matrilineally/genetically speaking My ancestors ascended from Ethiopia - allegedly 85,000 + years ago. There are no enslaved Africans in America on my maternal side. I doubt I even share a genetic code with anyone here. Let alone a “reflection”. Besides Troy, I’ve yet to meet a black man on here or on my journey who has shared or had the same experiences as I. Delano and I share a similar metaphysical consciousness. So generally speaking it would be impossible to see my reflection in any black man. I rarely have anything in common with black men specifically, men generally. I think the challenge here as Delano mentioned is speaking in generalities to individuals. We are not a single story people. But if you chose to make us ONE then it must include all modern humans who ascended out of Africa. All shades and colors.

@Delano Will you at least post a “nut graph” with the link so I’ll know why you found it interesting? Also, just posting links looks kinda “spammy” -

@Troy Bravo for this response! And I know from speaking with one of your daughters you and your former wife were successful! Your daughter is lovely. And absolutely, it is more complex than that video. But why are we seeing a video of a baby girl in her private moments? Why is there someone making fun of her while the world watches? Why is there a man - who sounds decidely like a black man chastising a baby girl? We don’t know if this will leave psychological scars on a child who is experiencing life in her environment. And how is this supposed to build up the black community, again? Smh

Can’t forget! I -got tired of dealing with them—So, -I wrote the book then I conjured up THE BEST MAN!

@Pioneer1 oh by the way, this perspective definitely illustrates you and I live in different worlds. I don’t limit myself ever. If I’m going create an opportunity- I’m going to create the BEST and then I’ll decide if it fits. You may live within limits but that’s not for me. You may want to reread my words.

@Pioneer1 you can’t take my words out of context - no matter how much you write. I conjured up the best man for me - and he showed up. And he happened to be white. But not just white - so handsome that white women hated me. full stop. But what’s relevant today is he is great father! Now, you can whine about it all you want; but it is what is. It doesn’t diminish his standing. No man, including black men I met before him ...was as kind, considerate and caring as he is. So you can write what you want - it carries no weight and doesn’t change the main point - . Ali presented himself as sexist, misogynist poster child for white supremacy in that interview.

Maybe not evolved. More like throwbacks to egalitarian age. It’s racism that has evolved along with patriarchy. The two go hand and hand. So like you’ve written, I see us in shades of humanity. Probably because I’ve rejected patriarchy, and its religious handbooks. Also I began school in Germany lived on and off a army base that was a lot like the UN. Couple that with lots of travel plus parents who raised me to believe there’s only one race...and you get me, a humanist.

You’re wrong for assuming the best man is a white man for everyone. A white man wasn’t the best man for my mom. But since you believe the white man is the best man - I’m going to step out of the argument you seem to be having with yourself. Well, since 2/3 of my daughters are biologically his daughters... Believing their dad is supreme is awesome. I know I think my dad is/was the greatest. Don’t you think your dad is supreme too? Wow- just wow.

It's a start.

@Chevdove Oh Yes! To all of what you’ve written! @Cynique Yes!!! Confidence!! You always express what I can’t find the words for because they are wrapped in my emotions. It’s so funny how a person can subconsciously desire all these things but not know how to express it - Yes, Yes, Yes! I never sought a “white” man... I thought these attributes & characteristics existed in the black men I dated and held in high esteem. That is until they revealed themselves. I wonder how many black women, have denied themselves wonderful experiences and a life partner because they are waiting for these traits to appear in a black man. I wonder if they too feared losing an opportunity to comment on the pathologies in the black community because their non-black partner? Confidence does allow one to be kind to others. I remember my former husband saying he didn’t look in the mirror too long -because it invoked a false sense of security. I never understood what he meant by that until now. Damn.

@Delano And Religion - I refused to allow my daughters to go black baptist or evangelical churches.

@Pioneer1 CONTEXT is your friend, Black man! When I was creating my “THE BEST MAN”- he ain’t had no color!!! Just good character!

@Pioneer1 you do know I’m a writer, right? I don’t mean a diary writer - people PAY me to write. Therefore, I say and write what I mean. Straight no chaser. SOOOOOO Why are you assuming other men in my life have been any type of kind? Also, words are important ...CHOOSE has an interesting etymology, it origins implies free will to create ... the swahili word Kuumba is the closest to the word choose - its bantu etymology means “to create something from nothing” —- so you are correct! I imagined the BEST man to come into my life. After dealing with my baby daddy for all those years - who by the way said and did a lot of mean things to me - during my pregnancy and some not so nice things afterwards; I created a way for the BEST man to come into my life. And he did. And he was perfect for me. Now did I choose him because he was white? NOPE! I chose him because he CHOSE US... These are very wise words ... I hope you keep it in mind.

What are the facts? Seriously, I missed the facts. Ok, I understand your perspective now. I always gravitated towards beautiful energy - I don’t care what skin or genes it’s wrapped in. Sadly, I’ve read this type of statement from others - it’s just that they’ve replaced “white” in the sentence with another color or ethnic group. Still, I’m not here to change your mind - just communicate and grow from the exchange. @Pioneer1 My man is not my father - and I’m not his mother. Please don’t creep me out here.

@Pioneer1 Guilty - I expect men to act right. But I don’t believe chastizing any man about his behavior if he doesn’t meet the criteria. I’ll just move on.

This is so sad, @Pioneer1 and I recently wondered the same thing. It breaks my heart. Do you know , a white police officer have stopped traffic to help me make a u-turn when I was lost. Once I was driving with my lights off in the whitest city of america, where Sandra Bland was from ... and a white police officer pulled me over - told me my lights were off and after I apologized and told him I didn’t realize it and that I was going to pick up my daughter - he said be careful and told me where I might find her. My point is there are two americas for black people. Sandra Bland lived in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in America. When she left to move Texas - I believe she forgot we black women of privilege don’t get to carry it with us. We have to feel the temperament and tone of the environment before we speak.

@Pioneer1 Isn’t it funny how things work out like that? What’s the saying “you’ve tried all the rest, now try the best”? Seriously, though it appears that you believe recognizing someone who is treating you well or with kindness is a matter of brainswashing and conditioning. And it could be - but i’m not a church girl and didn’t allow my daughters to go to church without adult supervision - so my conditioning is not “white jesus” nor is it - that a woman is here to be subservient to a man nor subjugated by him... Now is my former husband kind because he’s white? I don’t know - but that’s not my concern ... He’s the kindest man I know. By the way, you do know you can only judge character by actions, right? Not one or two actions but what they do consistently. My former husband has a good heart - and does his best to make everyone whole - it’s how he uses his privilege.

@Pioneer1 History, Huh? Lol! My history is filled with black men. My father was black. My first born daughter’s father is black. I know black men well enough to write a book and I’ve written two! BUT critiiquing black men is not my job. Ali played himself in that video clip. He was a straight embarrassment. Now let me help you out here with MY history. I’ve only had 1 marriage. I married 1 blond hair blue-eyed french /german white man who to this day still loves this dark-skinned kinky-hair black woman and the ground she walks on. And he ain’t soft like you like to think about white men. You can’t roll with me and be soft. He would kick anyone’s ass who would dare to step to me , his black stepdaughter (yes he stepped up and raised her like his own) and African/european descent daughters... no matter what they or I wear. And trust, no one dictates what we wear or what we do ... and he’d still defend and protect us for exercising our rights. But then again he’s white in America so maybe that’s privilege lol. Even though we’re no longer married I considered myself lucky for choosing this strong white man as partner. He is the kindest man I know. Ironically, he never tried to control me or the girls...but I guess there was no need. So no, I didn’t choose white supremacy; I chose freedom -and what resulted is a white man who worships us black women...daughters of Africa, with all the respect due us.