Cynique

It's complicated. Black women complain about not being able to find a partner because they are looking for a male counterpart with whom they will be compatible. Not an easy task. With great numbers of black men being incarcerated, what's left are law-abiders or ex-cons who are content to enjoy a life where, because they are in demand, can pick and choose whom they want to engage with. Conversely, sistas are reluctant to lower their standards in order to compete for the less than impressive crop of studs available out there. To many single black woman, the older they get, the more they come to appreciate being free of the obligations of marriage and a family. And, of course, white women remain a constant threat. Enter the booty-call alternative.

This certainly gives weight to my contention that the black experience encompasses a broad spectrum. In my little mid-western home town which is now predominately black but during my formative years was overwhelming white, instead of its small black ghetto being located on the other side of the tracks, it was located in the center of town, and co-existence was the name of the game, It was taken for granted, that white townsfolk didn't venture into our neighborhoods, and we didn't venture into theirs, the exception being the jews who were dispersed throughout our community by virtue of being the owners of stores and businesses, and who had settled in this town because it was one of the few in the area that wasn't rampantly anti-semetic. The schools i attended were integrated, however, and my high school, was at that time rated as one of the best in the state. (A far cry from its present ranking.) Its college prep curriculum was geared toward the state's flag ship school of higher learning, the University of Illinois. As blacks we were exposed to an excellent education that we needed only to take advantage of. And our proximity to Chicago allowed grade school children to take field trips to world famous places like The Field Museum, the Art institute, The Adler Planetarium and the Shedd Aquarium and the Brookfield Zoo, all of which i visited and enjoyed. Blacks in my village also had access to a fine library, courtesy of millionaire philanthropist Andrew Carnegie who erected libraries throughout the country because he wanted his legacy to be one known for encouraging the pursuit of knowledge. So, we are all products of different environments and although we are alike in many ways, the childhood circumstances that nutured and influenced us were determined by mere chance.

The last i head, this is supposed to be a free country. And black people above all, are constantly striving to exercise their freedom. Because blacks are not all of one mind, some blacks have a problem when it comes to freedom of appearance. They are luke warm about diversity and want to dictate, judge, and criticize the choices of certain other blacks who resist the herd mentality of black brain washing that can be as restraining as white control. These Afro-centric vigilants, awash in their patented rhetoric, have taken on the role of deciding how black women, in particular, are obligated to look, and they are perfectly comfortable with imposing their standards, totally resistant to change because they are mired in the swamp of the past. They drone on and on about how deceived those are who don't accept their standards, mistaking the indifference of those they wish to reform, attributing it to ignorance, thinking they have to educate them about the hazards of European standards. It never occurs to them that what they are preaching is a stagnant gospel, and the are obviously unable to appreciate the idea that individuals are free to exercise a choice when it comes to how they want to present themselves to the wide world of reality. The same crowd frets about colorism which is, indeed, an unforgiving fact of life and, as such, subjects some people to unfair and insensitive rejection. This being the case, it is then nobody's damn business if some choose to get their color out of a jar, an innocuous procedure that is in a category with plastic surgery, liposuction, contact lenses, wigs, teeth braces, eyebrow-arching, acryllic nails, and gym work-outs. Ahh but the au naturelle nazis remain a constant voice of condemnation and when not disapproving of independent black women, they devote their time to harboring suspicions about ongoing secret conspiracies existing to do - what? Keep blacks down? Whoooo what a great revelation! Enough to make blacks sacrifice what little enjoyment they derive from life in order to concentrate on worrying about something they are not supposed to be aware of. Them. Discrimination is also a fact of life. Obese people, for instance, are discriminated against, so losing weight is a choice some make. Racial discrimination is something that is a constant challenge, one that involves ingenuity to circumvent. This cruel world does not adjust to the individual. The individual is charged with the task of adjusting to it, of carving his own path and going which ever way she wants. For black people this can call for tuning out the "Greek chorus" chanting the same ol message of revering Africa, the great land mass which doesn't give a damn about its American diaspora, and can hardly sustain it own people, prompting many to immigrate to this country and enjoy the fruits of the civil rights struggle they played no part in. Of course these are controversial concepts that will go in one ear and out the other of those who don't think outside the box. Those who'd much rather stay in a comfort zone free of critical thinking and just go along with the same ol litany of cliches that black have been mouthing for years in an effort to bolster their morale, huddled in the night of yesterday, reluctant to wake up to a new dawn where a person weighs his options and thinks for herself. This mind-set is not really revolutionary. Great numbers of blacks have already made the decision to do their own thing not even aware of how they have liberated themselves from the dictates of others, all the while supporting the common cause of racial injustice. And so it goes.

@Pioneer1Oh, come on. The above statement is so blatantly ridiculous. All black churches have rejected the image of a semetic jesus being portrayed as blond and blue-eyed and with this came a dismissal of all the other anglo-sized biblical characters. Church sisters are more likely to be in love with Jesus or their pastor than trying to look like white angels. And how can white conservatives high jack a religion that they "invented"? Just another one of your concocted ideas that has sprouted in your skewed imagination, and certainly one that deserves to be challenged. (Here's your lunch, Chevdove, LOL )

IMO, they attempt to exude sexiness and i do think they are very inclined toward men who are more interested in what's inside their head rather than whats on top of their skull.

@Troy Be advised that women dress for each other just as much as they do for men. They love impressing one other in the hopes of inspiring envy. As for blond hair and black men, i repeat: there's no accounting for taste. And the bottom line remains that women adopt whatever appearance makes them feel comfortable with themselves.

Well, suffice to say that the opinion of 2 men out of a millions proves nothing. There's no accounting for taste. Thanks for finally injecting a refreshing point of view into a tired subject that has been beaten to death. If black women cared what black men thought about their blond hair, they'd stop dying it. Get a clue.

Maybe this situation will evolve and correct itself in the next 10 years as more and more young talented black male authors enter middle age and begin to write about their mid-life crises. The void in the genre has to be publicized so the idea can resonate. You have your work cut out for you, Troy. The vanguard is calling you...

@ChevdoveI'm trying to figure out why this conversation is necessary. i have on numerous occasions expressed a disinterest in Africa and on other occasions kidded about my RH negative blood. You seemed to have taken my latest musings on this subject personal, and pioneer, who is one of my least favorite people in the world, decided to inject his obnoxious self into the proceedings doing what he does best which is to spout his made-up versions of things, - lies that are rarely grounded in truth or fact. But, rest assured that you can agree with him to your heart's content, because i couldn't care less, contrary to what he imagines. This site needs all the contributors it can attract and other people's approval is not required when it comes to posting things. I'm glad when you and Mel come aboard because you both always have input of substance. So keep on doing what you do, You're a welcome addition to this board. And thank you for your kind words.

Interesting. Your exposition has some elements of truth in regard to me when i was younger. Now, i just want to sit back, chill, and watch America unravel, something i feel will happen whether Trump is removed from office or not. Thanks again.

i said nothing about genes and genetic influence as they relate to culture. And I'm done wasting my time on you.

In your dreams

And where was it you said you got your college degree in biology - or was it anthropology. At Starbucks, sitting next to your Asian ball-licker?

i don't see how what i said contradicts anything Troy ever said, or how what i said agrees with any of the tripe in the last 2 lines of your quote.

What's not clear is why you don't deep six your nonsense about black women and their relationship with blond hair. Your view on this doesn't hold water.

@Pioneer1 I have been saying this all along, that we are a hybrid group of slave descendants who have our own unique indigenous culture and have assimilated into the American mainstream. So all of your BS about our true African instincts and lifestyles being repressed as we are restricted to an unnatural European morality are totally inconsistent with your above quote. How we act and dress and comport ourselves are a manisfestation of the amalgamated bloodlines that make us a new breed akin to an ethnicity that is what it is. Also there is a growing consensus on this board that black unity is an unrealized concept that has been continually promoted by those who haven't discerned that adhering to the same idea over and over again and expecting a different result can be a sign of "insanity". Individuals of color can get over in this country and transcend the "effects" of white racism by finding a niche for their skill-sets. Out of necessity, in the year 2018 of the 21st century, it's time to get a new set of eyes and broadened our scopes, instead of clinging to old notions that that function as security blankets.

I don't agree. Just because you consider something unnatural, doesn't mean it is. You are not an authority on the subject. What's unnatural is your need to impose your views on others as if they have been proven right in someplace other than your narrow mind.

@Pioneer1 I have been saying this all along, that we are a hybrid group of slave descendants who have our own unique indigenous culture and have assimilated into the American mainstream. So all of your BS about our true African instincts and lifestyles being repressed as we are restricted to an unnatural European morality are totally inconsistent with your above quote. How we act and dress and comport ourselves are a manisfestation of the amalgamated bloodlines that make us a new breed akin to an ethnicity that is what it is. Also there is a growing consensus on this board that black unity is an unrealized concept that has been continually promoted by those who haven't discerned that adhering to the same idea over and over again and expecting a different result can be a sign of "insanity". Individuals of color can get over in this country and transcend the "effects" of white racism by finding a niche for their skill-sets. Out of necessity, in the year 2018 of the 21st century, it's time to get a new set of eyes and broadened our scopes, instead of clinging to old notions that that function as security blankets.

@DelYes, please. I want to understand what all of this means. Also, does it matter that i was not born in Wheaton, illinois? Where did you get that from????? i was born in Maywood, Illinois, a suburb 17 miles west of Chicago. Thanks!

i think black women are begrudgingly tolerating Omarosa for the simple reason that she is beating Trump at his own game of treachery and duplicity and making money off of it. I also give her points for exposing and validating her claims of 45's racism. Payback is a bitch, and so is she but his publicly calling a black woman a dog should not go unanswered, - and who but other black woman ever come to the defense of one of their own? it's a pity that more white men were offended by Trump's insult than black men apparently were. Our heroes.

@Del Speaking of astrology, somebody gave me an astrological chart she did on me for my birthday. Now, i can't find it! Do you still have the one you did on me? Now that i've reached my 85 years milestone, I'd be curious to see it.

@Pioneer1 So much for all your blather about European traits that black women are trying to duplicate. Gravitating toward blond hair and blue eyes is in black DNA.

@ChevdoveWell, you do "you". At my age i am not interested in celebrating anything but who i am today. Because nothing else really matters but the here and now. The present is the present and the future yet to come. The distant past is about what might've been. Not my thing. But since it's yours, carry on. We don't have to validate each other.

Well, excuse me while me and my type O, RH-negative blood revel in our uniqueness. Fuck Africa.