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Having a defense mechanism is very pragmatic decision that is not that complicated in its origin. Why not arm yourself when entering the dating arena? All women have their guard up, because they don't want to get hurt. When strong women drop their guard, it's because they decide to take a chance on someone who meets their requirements. If this relationship fails, they move on, and learn from this experience because they are also smart women who have used birth control or have stopped at one out-of-wedlock child, in addition to equipping themselves with skills to support themselves. They have defended themselves well in the battle of the sexes. What vulnerable women do, is just the opposite. All women have a penchant for charming, handsome, rascals who turn them on in bed. Strong women don't marry them. They have a fling with them, and, if need be, settle for "Mr. Alright".

@DelanoOh, okay. Thank you for letting me know. Well, like you said, this question would be in a certain context. Regarding some points in this thread in which some women go into abusive relationships even after they 'screen', this kind of abuse may seem like it is a weakness, but even in this regards, it can be subjective. But when a child, a young girl, is abused, that is a predator taking advantage of innocence. But here we go: When I think about your questions in lieu of this very thread, my mind goes directly to 'the innocent blonde syndrome'. Many times I heard stories of how some women 'play dumb' for a future gain. Some women have went into relationships just to advance their financial status and they submit to abuse, knowing that eventually, they intend to use it as a tool to get out of the relationship. That is a game that some women do play-- as you say, it is kind of like a whorish behavior. In this sense, it is a controlling situation. So yes, in this sense, 'Being abused does improve the person's quality of life' -- she walks away with perhaps, child support and a great percentage of the mans' paycheck for 18 years. But no, when a person submits to abuse, they wouldn't feel strong or confident, just hopeful that they will be able to endure. For many Black women of the older generation, I cringe when I think about some of the hell they went through. It's different for those kind of women coming after the slave experience. I don't know how they survived. Indeed, many of them didn't. I remember sitting at the table constantly hearing my relatives tell my cousins and I to get married, no matter what, in order to improve your status. They would say, it better to get 'a piece of a no good man than to not get married at all'. And so, as a result, I realize how they did become subjective to terribly abusive situations, that, unfortunately, they believe is the only way to live. And in turn, they too, play games but it is not that same as 'the dumb blonde syndrome'. Yes, but asking beyond what a person answers and offers initially, may be delving deeper amd searching for more underlying answers, and this can be a psychoanalysis process. Inquiring deeper into a person's initial response would be based on you wanting to go beyond what is offered, and that makes you a wise person. That speaks a lot of you, but that can be offensive too though.

@Pioneer1Cynique has answered your questions from her perspective. It is problematic to say what she means, when she had said what she meant. Yeah I have said this it cuts down the games. Honesty diffuses the Game. Although there have been times I wanted to lie. If you lie your are taking someone's ability to choose by deciding what is best for both of you. Or perhaps neither of you cared enough to ask.

What a crock of BS, coming from 2 people who can't get over Kalexander hurting your widdle feelings. 🤣

REST IN POWER... Thank You Jay Z & Beyonce The Trayvon Martin Story Well, it was only just recently that the very 7-11 where this young teen, Trayvon Martin, visited before he was gunned down has been closed down. This story still grips me. I am so overwhelmed at the mere mention of his name. I am looking forward to this deput to occur on this upcoming July 30, 2018 of this documentary series. And even more strange is the circumstances of my own life in how it ties to this very story. https://youtu.be/97sB1Xjvkok https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XfZ6aKhyfI Last year, and because of being displaced due to a recent hurricane, I found myself in Missouri and one day as I was driving down Florissant ave, I just happened to turn into a parking lot that I later found out was the very QT convenience store that Michael Brown had went to just before he was gunned down. I couldn't believe it. But then, my life experienced another shock. My relative moved due to a job transfer to Central Florida, and to work in Orlando. Well it was only a few days later that he told me he finally found a nice apartment community about thirty minutes from his job and so, I googled to learn about the area. Then I made the call to him and said, do you know where you are in proximity? I then told him, that you live in Sanford, Florida. I then said, "Do you know about the history of Sanford?" ANd, he said, he had no idea. I then told him, that is the very area where Trayvon Martin was gunned down. He was in total disbelief! Soon, I relocated too and then found out that I lived only about five minutes from the very place where Trayvon was killed. And in the interim, I learned how to make a video and captured the very 7-11 store and then drove from there to the Retreat at Twin Lakes. But about three weeks later, I went to redo the video to make it better, and 'what-do-you-know' but the store was closed down! This occurred in the month of May 2018 and I'm wondering does this store closing have anything to do with Jay-Z's film debut or what? At any rate, I can't believe I am in Florida. In February 2012, I was living in North Carolina with no idea I'd ever be leaving my home. I needed to be in a better place, but this was not what I saw in my future! In all my life, I would have never believed that I would ever have money or be able to visit or live in Missouri or Florida! But to end up in the very places were these recent sad events have taken place in America is mind boggling for me. What am I doing here!!!?

@Pioneer1 We might not agree with Colin's tactics or lack of a strategy, but clearly we agree with the spirit of what he was trying to accomplish and we should support him. But again we won't because collectively (save the ministers in the video), we refuse to stand up for ourselves. The boycott now would be to punish the NFL, in a way they understand, financially, for firing Colin. @Chevdove, it probably is too early for us to boycott the NFL. We are simply not ready.

Del A defense mechanism is not a sign of strength. It's an internal weakness or insecurity. Exactly!! And by the way, my question has YET to be answered. 　 Chevdove It's true that many if not most Black men play a lot of games with women, however the reason is simple.....they want sex. Most AfroAmerican men I know don't play games with women to purposely ruin their lives, hurt them, or cause confusion....these are BY PRODUCTS of their pursuit of sex. The problem is in THIS society where the morals and rules of engagement have been set up by Caucasian men who are less focused on sex and more focused on violence and warfare....sex is pretty much either condemned or restricted to a very limited area with a limited amout of people. Trying to live and get along in a society that wasn't designed by or for AfroAmericans forces too many of us to act outside of our nature and it leads to pathological relationships. Cynique If you know the answer to the question, why ask it? I DON'T know the answer to the question.....lol. I know it's a defense mechanism but I don't understand exactly WHO are these women trying to defend themselves from and WHAT are they trying to defend themselves from. Clearly most of the men who end up passing the test have babies with them outside of wedlock, don't have jobs, and abuse them. So WHO are they defending and protecting themsevles from? Good men? Obvioulsy bad men are passing the test for most of these women. I don't see Asian women putting up a "defense mechanism" and they clearly have a higher incidence of positive relationships with men.