Mel Hopkins

A member of the African Diaspora. Anyone of African descent?

@Troy How do you know they don’t? And even if they don’t, they are still listening to voices that resonate with them. How is that any different than reading a book? If they do read - they still choose the voices they want to hear. 2) The reason why I don’t identify with “lady” - is the same reason you wrote “ladies and Del” - You could’ve wrote Ladies and Gentleman (Del) but your use of attributive noun and Del’s name was deliberate. I find people use “Lady” for two reasons to show respect but really have no respect for the woman - or to suggest the woman behave in a way they believe a woman should act. I don’t call men “gentlemen” either.

@Troy 1. For the record, I identify by “woman” not “lady”. 2. Re-read the thread. There is agreement on respect and protection on an individual basis. No one is disputing that some black men are protective in their intimate relationships. BUT if you don’t ask, listen and seek understanding from those you say you care for then that’s showing disrespect. (With black women like me disrespect will get you kicked to curb no matter how great you think you are. ) 3. Back to the thesis. That was the topic in question - Full Stop. Glad you agree.

@Delano, (OFF TOPIC kinda ) I used your quote as an example of how our use of language - specifically how we use “gender” can be derogatory. “Polite” society no longer call black men “boys”- but in your usage to infantilize “Troy and NF” you reached for “girls” when “boys” would do. BUT Society as whole uses “girls” as a derogatory phrase - and some women use it when they don’t want to appear as “old women” It’s cute and quaint when women use it and it’s derogatory when men use it. It’s like Nigger/ Nigga . My intention wasn’t to call you out but rather to show how language can show lack of respect. ON TOPIC No, I didn’t get the sense you were speaking for me - It seems to me you raised an important topic like “climate change”... This one is currently part of the national dialogue because of 45. He weaponizes language - and he knows black women see through him but he also know the status of the black community. If black men organizations came after him after his outburst against the black women white house correspondents, they would have weakened him...catching him off guard. But not a peep. So thank you. I internalized the exchange- so not to think about it. This is better because now I can release it.

Calling someone “Girls” ISN’T name-calling ...unless you believe it’s derogatory! Now, if you read my statement within this context of how we use language; the statement shows lack of respect for women. And NO, the NOI doesn’t protect black women. i understand your reason for your tunnel vision. It appears easier to mentally cope with the message if you reduce the group to bite size pieces. However, respect and protection of a group doesn’t work like that. It applies to the whole group This topic is about how black men as a group respect, protect black women or the lack thereof. The answer is Black men as a group have failed to respect and protect black women. That is the current state of the black america. And black women who can, have moved on. So, as I mentioned to Nubian, I’ll also offer to you. “Carry on”. Stay in your mental safe space. By the way, black women would rather black men stand up in defense of black women... dying is easy.

And as I wrote there lies the rub. Ego massagjng. Well carry on.

And there lies the rub. Black men don’t want to feel like cowards. So not wanting to feel like a coward is the reason for all the back-patting regarding random chivalrous acts? I can imagine that the alternative is hard to mentally reconcile. Mindblowing actually. But imagine if black men didn’t make it about them - and actually did the heavy lifting of protecting black women. Black men failed once and that is how many black women ended up shackled next to black men in those slaves ships. Still, I don’t believe those African men were any less courageous than black american men today. They were outsmarted and outplayed and did what they could to survive - even if was at the expense of women and children. It’s similar to the environment today - but instead of fighting, revolting and uprising - it’s more of radio silence on issues that effect the most vulnerable in the black community. When women say things such as Hopkinson in that quote, and a whole host of women share the same reality they don’t care if black men feel like cowards. In fact that is the least of their worries. Have you heard of the me-too movement? It was started by a black woman Tarana Burke in 2006 because too many black and brown working-poor women were being sexually assaulted on their jobs that they couldn’t leave. If they didn’t acquiesce to the men they would be fired and eventually homeless with their children. This is reality for a lot of black women. Don’t be confused by hollywood giving their star power to help these women. Or let’s talk about the tens of thousands of underage girls right here in American being sold into sex slavery... So let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about individual acts of kindness and chilvary...It is rare for any man to turn their back on a woman face-to-face... I went to the bank today and didn’t open one door or have a man jump in front of me -BUT that’s not point. We’re saying COLLECTIVELY, Black men aren’t covering black women. We don’t care what any othet ethnic group is or isn’t doing. - the topic black men covering black women. There has never been a march, a labor strike or movement organized by black men to stop the violence against black women or children...or a march against “welfare reform” (@Troy) that effects women and children.. or even march to make sure black women who are raising children single-handled get childcare, equal pay / raise in wages, paid time off to care for sick children or even a time off for mental health days... Black Men as a group have never even asked black women (the collective) what we need to feel protected” - So, while a man may feel stepping up to stop a black man from beating a black women - is cause for celebration, I say NO. As an actual black women who fellowships with other black women, that’s a beautiful gesture and life-saving If it prevented a mercy -hospital type assassination of a black women ER doctor. But in the grand scheme, protecting a black women has nothing to do with a man’s ego... It’s ensuring that all black men have a future.

These two groups have different interests ... So politically you have to separate them. As a homeowner raising a family and putting my children in the best public schools; my needs will look a lot different than someone who has no property, pays no taxes and literally is faced with a law-and-order tax on a daily. So when it comes to policy making - government barely serves the interests of poor people... AND again the majority of poor people aren't BLACK people. But I digress. That's not the point you communicated. YOU mentioned black people fawning over democrats such as Bill Clinton as if they didn't know what they were doing. Here's why - All those banking bills and legislation, drug trafficking, and gunrunning is well documented to come from republican administrations... Every time a democrat gets into office they have to clean up all the corporatist activity from so-called republicans. Further of course a democrat such as President Obama would hire from wall street -He was elected right on the heels of the collapse. It would have been stupid not too. If you are trying to get a handle on how google operates and how to get ahead of their thought process - would you hire someone from netscape search engine? C'mon now. Anyway, If you were on wall street then you have a myopic view of policy and deal making - and it was people like you who journalists/ reporters like me turned to to get an handle on the growing catastrophe and helped those on the outside to investigate from all angles. This is how reporters got to the heart of the story. Remember media is not expert in anything but gathering and disseminating. Nothing was buried everything was in plain sight - and that's how some banks serving the middle-income earners tried to put in place sustainable banking programs in place from Latin America, to Amsterdam to the US, as early as 1999 (I got hired by an ABN AMRO bank to communicate the program's message.) By Jove, I think he's got it!!! lol

Whether I suggest that or not - (which by the way, I have no way of knowing ) why is the question relevant to my statement of being haunted by black men not being able to provide protection then or now? Further, It's not a matter of "buy in" of Delano's observation that collectively black men appear not to have respect for black women. Lack of respect appears in the language we use (notice how Delano called both you and NubianFellow "Girls"), our institutions including church, schools, banking and finance etc, and socially. For example, how it's the norm to blame black women for a black man's shortcomings or failure. I'm always amazed how many black men blame feminism for them not being in the home. Even the fact that your question took away my agency by asking me about Delano's perception - instead of simply asking me "do I believe black men respect black women". Something as "innocent" as framing a question to a woman based on what a man thinks is disrespectful. But it doesn't even faze me anymore. I notice it and continue to move on. The challenge in this whole dynamic - isn't about what anyone believes anymore; it's about action. Black women who are about anything -are no longer waiting around for that protection or respect - that may or may not come. They are just moving on, building movements and forming sanctuaries.

CONTEXT is your friend, @Troy - we were in the middle of getting slaughtered daily by the crack epidemic and the jamaican, dominican and colombian drug cartels in the 90s... I couldn't have take my babies to the park - because it was bloodstained with bits of brain matter .... I left NY because it was no longer safe to raise my family in brooklyn... I was one of those mothers who was tired of seeing dead bodies in the streets because of the lawlessness. No mother should have to tell her pre-teen daughter not to step in blood... but that's where we were before Clinton took office. Rememember they flow of drugs and guns coming into the america under the republican watch? Remember Ollie North and Bush and the iran-contra affair and the blowback of gunrunning in the US? That was under the republicans. ... So tell me again how hyper-incarceration wasn't good for black people who who lived right in the middle of the drug wars. Welfare reform? Make up your mind - are we talking about poor people or black people? Again black people aren't the biggest stakeholders in the welfare system -so let's not mix apples and oranges. And Bill Clinton signed the wall street bill after his impeachment - remember the republicans impeached him but he was acquitted? Still don't be confused it was a republican bill ... Gramm-Leach-Bliley bill remember? In fact, everyday the republicans better known as corporatists chip away at the credit and banking protections . I was knee deep in reporting hard news during the clinton era .. I wasn't a bystander...So tell me again why wouldn't those looking to keep their homes, lives and wealth vote for democrats? Beliefs and knowing are two different things. People know what they don't know even while defending their beliefs. Ignorance isn't a negative unless you're creating policy and not seeking to educate yourself.

Actually it's not. The electorate absolutely knows why they are voting -The ignorance lies in those who believe they know why people vote they way they do...and still don't take the time to find out otherwise. I used to be like that and then I actually started listening to others - and their reasons became loud and clear. By the way those reasons are as diverse as the electorate.

@Delano Sad but true. I’m not a black man but if I were I’d be haunted by the fact I couldn’t protect black women and children from enslavement. I couldn’t protect black women and children in the jim crow south -I couldn’t protect black women and children while they worshipped; or when they went to school; and couldn’t protect some of them from poverty - child sex trafficking ...workplace sexual assualt ... yes protection a long way off..

@Troy that makes no sense to me. The impoverished have different needs than ethnic group. Further, If the wealthiest people in this country are democrats -including black wealthy people then it’s serving them. If middle class to working class people including black people vote democrat it’s serving them... now the question then becomes who is NOT being serve... chances are those the majority of people who don’t vote period - and of course those who are disenfranchised. For example, voting democratic could serve someone because there’s legislative protection for the environment - and the animals - or there’s a mandate for clean drinking water... or violence against women protection act isn’t going expire... or here’s something - the supreme court isn’t stack where women no longer have the right to what happens to their bodies. It’s pure ignorance to say someone is voting for something that is NOT serving them... Instead they should consider that they are unaware how they’re being serve.

@Troy I asked to which you were referring to when you say “serve us” black people or poor people... there’s a difference. A party that is most wealthy people (Democrats) is probably NOT serving poor people. So when you say US then chances are you’re speaking about poor people. I just asked to whom you were referring.

@Pioneer1 I’ve folkowed Goldie on twitter long enough to know she’s not trying to make friends. This piece is political satire -written tongue-in-cheek. Goldy has blocked folks on twitter for less and because of vitriolic tweets - msnbc did not renew her contract back in 2014 or 15... but anyway, Goldy, the former U.S. Marine, probably has a good grasp on how white nationalism works - she was literally in the trenches -

Serve us, as in Black people? Or Serve us, as in Poor people? Because there’s a difference. Also most wealthy people claim they vote democrat (or registered democrats ) depending on where you live this would mean wealthy people are in the democratic tribe too.

Will do! I subscribed and then I didn’t pick anything to read. I just signed up for notifications and to my surprise their algorithm couldn’t figure me out so I get all this cool stuff! I have a feeling they’ve been good all along but folks make popular what they want to read so that’s what trends. But I’ll get the link. I almost thought @Pioneer1 was a covert operator and was pushing the china story - because today they wrote about who has a bettet chance of making it - a poor 18 year old in China or the US https://nyti.ms/2DtMtMv?smid=nytcore-ios-share

Will do! I subscribed and then I didn’t pick anything to read. I just signed up for notifications and to my surprise their algorithm couldn’t figure me out so I get all this cool stuff! I have a feeling they’ve been good all along but folks make popular what they want to read so that’s what trends. But I’ll get the link. I almost thought @Pioneer1 was a covert operator and was pushing the china story - because today they wrote about who has a bettet chance of making it - a poor 18 year old in China or the US

Could be. Both you, @Delano and @Cynique clarified there’s a difference between “support” and “defense”... It’s hard not to agree. When you mentioned Troy’s belief, that is shared by quite a few black men (putting racism before feminism), I couldn’t think of any time in history when black men haven’t suggested “there’s a time and place for black women... (whatever black women conjured up for the best for society) — by the way, the Ethiopian PM made put women in half the cabinet positions - and put in place a woman president... because he believes women are best for the country... there’s that but its not quite the same as defending women. He put women in position to defend the country. They were feminist? Rallied for equal rights for black women? Black women march against the state to save the lives of black men and boys they don’t know. That’s the difference.

Can’t say. According to Iceberg Slim, the world is divided into hustlers and suckers .

Actually the report and others who follow budgets have mentioned there have been cuts to military spending - this year alone. And then you think about 5600 troops at the border to “assist” homeland security ... then it forces you to look closer to find out if (and how) the strategy in place is actually weakening the U.S. Btw, the New York Times is doing a 4 part series on China this week.

This has been historically true here in America - from Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman to the present. I can’t think of one point in recent history where black men have come to the defense of black women. I hope someone can and will correct me.

@Troy I believe the same day NYT busted facebook, the National Defense Strategy Commission submitted a report on the military. The report revealed the U.S. military is unable to win a war against the Russia or China - if we had to go to war against them. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/u-s-military-might-struggle-to-win-or-perhaps-lose-war-with-china-or-russia-report-says/

Yeah, I can’t think of black men organizing to specifically come to the aid of black women... but I can name a bunch of men who have supported me as an individual... I can also name men who have come to aid of indiviual women... If black men would ever organize to conspicuously support black women - that is the day “race” relations will change - and the current system will crumble.

This quote sums up the article : Natalie Hopkinson, a professor at Howard University, summed it up. “A lot of black men are just not hearing what black women are saying because they are too busy complaining about their own situation,” she said. “When it comes to really supporting black women, nobody has our back but us.” But individually I believe black men protect black women who they believe deserve protecting. In fact, I don’t even think ethinicity really plays a role. It’s the battle of the sexes in play. At least, that’s been my perception. I think black women move to protect black men because we actually give birth to them so our knee jerk reaction is to protect the “baby boy”. I don’t have that nurturing reaction or response because I gave birth to girls - I expect men to protect me whether they want to or not.