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“See while you and others enjoyed the "epic battles," between Cynique and Kola, too many others participants strongly disliked Kola and were put off . Thumper hated her. In fact, I think Thumper held it against me for allowing Kola to even participate. I also know others who stopped participating because of Kola. To this day, I can not serve Google ads on the Thumpersconer.com domain because of posts Kola made. Today neither Kola or Thumper posts here, but they both post on Facebook.” Thank you very much bro Troy for your thorough explanation. I was not aware of the issues you were battling with spammers nor the deleterious impact Kola was having on the board. I knew she was a lightning rod but she also had loyal disciples regurgitating and supporting anything she said. I could respect her fierce race pride and defense of black women but often times it was drowned in the bath tub by her ugly race baiting, vicious profane outbursts, continually posting silly pictures of herself, name calling and rabid racist attacks on anyone with a skin complexion lighter than hers. It was so sad and very revealing of a tormented psyche. Thank you for archiving the old board. It’s fun (and ridiculous –I know!) to look back on what was happening in those days. There were many people consistently writing and popping in intermittingly, giving the board a robust plethora of socially aberrant subject matter and pyrotechnics. Looking back in the archives brought back memories of so many posters. As I said previously, I came to the board late but I enjoyed every minute of it. I also wanted to thank you for your administrative hands off approach to heated controversy, vicious feuds and excessive fatuousness. I have always admired and respected your laissez faire approach. I do recall you doing it once (deleting posts and blocking the writer). I can’t recall her exact moniker (ebo girl or something like that) but she crossed the line with spamming the board with sexually graphic comments and images. She crossed the line and you had to deal with it. But I’ve always admired your restraint and tolerance for free speak whether you agreed with the writer or not. Your approach and advocacy for free unfettered speech is unique bro Troy. TRUST ME! I have joined a number of Negro forums over the years and I have been banned from all of them! Was I using profanity? No. Was I making outrageous vicious Kola Boof style personal attacks? No. Posting offensive material? No. Threatening anyone with violence? No. So, what was the reason for my dismissal? Well, the readers of the board hysterically disagreed with my politics. They did not like the things I was saying even though everything I said was true! I even stated numerous times for the naysayers to point out an error or fabrication in my writing. Their response was simply, “..it’s not that you’re lying, it’s just the way you say it!” WTF? Am I not free to express my opinions in a manner that I believe to be accurate? I stated many times that I disagreed with their missives but I felt they had the right to express their opinions in any manner they chose. Even if that expression was a personal attack against me. And predictably, that’s what they did. They never addressed any of the points in my writing. It was nothing but histrionics and personal attacks –never a definitive or compelling rebuttal. And because of my refusal to parrot victimization, racial entitlement and haranguing and demonization of non-blacks –I was dismissed. Anyway -you be the man Troy! Ha! Please continue your philosophy of freedom of expression and personal opinions even if they may run contrary to yours.

@Xeon, that was very well put. A forum where everyone agreed with what I think would not be intellectually stimulating or very much fun. I fully appreciate many people do not like their ideas challenged. Most avoid this like the plague, which is what makes Facebook so popular, their algorithm is designed to show readers information that supports their world view, because it pulls folks in, which is far more profitable that letting people freely express themselves. But social media has the impact of narrowing people's world views, giving them the false impression that their beliefs are universally shared or that dissenting views that slip in are aberrational. I banned Igbo Girl because that poster was a troll Kola Boof was using. Some poster recognized Igbo Girl was a Kola Boof sock puppet, because of the writing style. I was able to determine this because of the IP address used. I only ban trolls. But as you observed I rarely exercise this option. Unkle Ruckus, and Celestial-something were the last two banned, but they really deserved it Sometimes trolls do not reveal themselves right away, so they can get away for while before banned, this is a consequence of allowing too much freedom. Xeon if your participation here is any indication, I can't image why you would be banned on a discussion forum. Contributions like yours are what enriches conversation--even through you are overly infatuated with the military

The answer to your question is "no." It's like for those born black, you just have to play the hand you're dealt.

For Immediate Release: Not your typical relationship book- The New Princess Is A Man-How you ladies lost your crown and what you can do to get it back. Often referred to as the last relationship book you’ll ever need, The New Princess Is a Man introduces you to “The New Princess”-the guy who expects you to give him everything, while he gives his bare minimum. More specifically, he expects gifts and showers on his big day but doesn’t believe in the commercialized Valentine’s Day, commercialized mother’s day or pretty much any day you may “interpret” as your day. The authors examine what the reader is doing to attract the “New Princess” and what she can do to either improve her relationship or start over with a new perspective on healthy and equal partnerships. The book further explores this new role of these men at home and in the workplace and the role women play in molding them. Born in New York Ciity, all three sisters-Justina Olatunde Davis, Linda Olatunde Robinson and Olaitan Faith Olatunde -reside in Atlanta GA. Through their company Mschitchat, LLC, they published their book. As sisters, mothers, daughters and friends, it was important for them to get to the heart of why so many women find themselves “stuck” in unhappy relationships. The authors conducted numerous interviews with men who provided further insight into how the “New Princess” came about. They also collected a variety of short stories from women who share how they mastered conquering the princesses in their lives. The first in a series on “New Princess” literature and paraphernalia was released on 2/12/16. For more information about MsChitChat, LLC or to obtain a copy of The New Princess is a Man (TNPIAM) please visit www.thenewprincessisaman.com. Q&A Q: Who is The New Princess? A: A guy who is confused about his role as The Man, yet wants to be the de facto leader and decision maker in his family amidst his confusion. Q: Why Princess? A: The whole notion of the princess has been branded into the minds of women from before they were able to speak. The books, movies and stories of how we are the princess waiting for a prince charming to rescue us is the culture. We wanted to take that notion and turn it around because absolutely nothing about relationships resembles what’s been sold and commercialized to young women. Many men in fact believe they are the fairy tale.

Hi Troy, Thanks so much for the tip and feedback! We did have to pay for the contest but 99designs (the host site) offers packages from $299-$1199. The good thing however, is the funds are not released until you choose a winning design. It worked out well for us.

Sara the idea that you would pass on going to the library does not surprise me. Sara why hurls barbs at Harry? He said he mistyped--which is something we all do and he answered the question. Similarly why all the machinations over conceding that you were incorrect about the quoting of a single paragraph. You would not be the first person you was wrong about something. We all have been wrong. -------------------- Finally @Sara, and this is important: if you (or anyone else who makes a habit of it) persist on quoting full comments from other posters, I will simply delete them--unread. If I have to spend time deleting these too often, I will prevent the offending poster from post. Please stop doing it. Sorry for taking such extreme measures If I could stop people from doing this in software I would, but I can't so I have to resort to a brute force tactic which I'm not a fan of. For example, there is absolutely no reason for you to fully quote Harry's post when you are entering the very next post. When you do this you clutter the board and make is harder for others to read it.

@Xeon, of course the question "Better than what?" makes sense to the statement, "I know a lot of Black men and women who did and most of them came out better." In fact, that question ALWAYS makes that most sense when someone say that something is better or worse. If you want to describe something as not making sense, lets look at your statement; "...people who generally serve in the military are better after they leave the military than when were prior to entering the service for the most obvious reasons." What is obvious about that? We have already discussed that people in the military suffer from PTSD, homelessness, suicide, all at rates higher than people who did not go into the military. Your statement makes no sense in light of these facts. Also how can you be so confident that if people did something else with their time, like go to college, learn a trade, or just get a job, that they would be worse off than if they went into the military? As Chris mentioned the negative outcomes of military service has to do with the job you are in and other factors. And as already stated there are of course people who come out better as a result of Military service, Chris is an example. However Chris' alternative was JAIL! I'd recommend anyone go into the military, every day of the week, if the option was jail. I have one simple question for you Xeon: Do you think that all young men and women should serve in the military? @Cynique, I'm not sure why you are accusing me of lecturing, and not anyone else, including yourself.. We are debating the issues and making arguments . But I think I get why you are so defensive of my critique of the military. I think you are receiving it as if I'm personally attacking all the men in your life who have served, I'm not doing that. Again, I'm not focusing on Individuals. I like Chris, and am glad he had a great experience, but I'm not going to judge the entire armed forces on his experience, any more than I would judge it on the experience of my father's, who was able to show his premature death was related to his military service. I'm also not sure why you use adjectives like "revolted" and "despised" in describing my feeling about the armed services. I did not use these words, nor do I feel this way. Indeed, I wrote that we NEED the military, because we do. I'm only advocating that we treat the people better than we currently do. But improving how we treat our military personnel will never improve if we all bury our heads in the sand and act like there aren't any problems that need correcting. I also believe that Black men, in particular, are presented with so few options that the military is often their only decent choice. I don't feel this should be the case either. So sure Cynique, that is the "world as it exists," but that does not mean we can't try to change it. @CDBurns, interestingly I went to a high school that had a class that taught us little life skills, like writing a checks, banks account, even how to buy a used car.

“I'm forced to ask better than what? Better than what they were before they went in, or better than what they would have been if they, say, went to college, gotten a decent job, or learned a trade.” Your question makes no sense Troy because you are comparing two different paths. Yes, for the most part, people who generally serve in the military are better after they leave the military than when were prior to entering the service for the most obvious reasons. Foremost is maturity. That is a given. Most people who enter the military will encounter responsibilities they never faced nor had before. It also affords them the opportunity to interact and develop relationships with people (whether professional or personal) that they would unlikely have because they will encounter various types of people and cultures from their travels, tours and deployments. I lived in the Philippines, Japan and Scotland. The people and experiences were completely different. People in the military encounter people from all walks of life, socioeconomic backgrounds, different races and ethnicities and professional levels. Such valuable and eye-opening experiences can never be overstated nor underestimated! Depending on their scores, they can receive invaluable technical training, experience and security clearances that they could never get in the civilian world. Such experience and job codes can put you at the head of the line for employment. Trust me on this –I’VE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE! I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! If you care to debate this –bring it on! I can be very specific and definitive with my argument! It also gives many young people their first experience of getting up on time and being at work. Most learn discipline. Something many never exercised in their life. For many young people, being in the military gives them the opportunity to have their first bank account, first checking account, first credit card, first technical education, first time to pay rent (and for some, their first home) or finance a car and their first experience in a foreign country. I can go on and on but I’m hoping you get the gist. Now, when you say better than going to college, getting a decent job or learning a trade –THEY CAN GET ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED IN THE MILITARY!!!! PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME! I PERSONALLY KNOW OF COUNTLESS FORMER MILITARY PEOPLE WHO DID EVERY SINGLE THING IN YOUR STATEMENT (COLLEGE, DECENT JOB AND A TRADE) So, to be honest bro Troy, I have no idea what you were attempting to suggest or say.

I understand that my experience is my experience and for me to speak in general about the military can be considered shortsighted as it doesn't take in the research available on the military, but my experience is the only valid source that I trust because I know for a fact that when you search for military and homelessness there isn't any research that is broken down according to rate (job). Also like I said when discussing homelessness, people have the military as a baseline while there aren't any studies done on other jobs to give you a baseline. In other words there aren't any studies available on how many homeless writers there are, or how many homeless lawyers there are, etc. It's just too complex of a study. What I do know is that at any time there are 600,000 people homeless and of that number veterans make up 50,000 or so. Veterans do have a high rate of homelessness only because there really isn't a way of measuring what other large group of people are homeless. That's why up above I said that I would be willing to bet that homelessness for veterans, if broken down by rate or lack of a job while in the military, would equate to those who are homeless after serving. Do you get what I'm saying? The people who tend to have shitty military experiences are often the guys who had jobs that were in the lower tier of the military. In the Navy, those without rates tied down air planes carrying around 5lb chains on a flight deck if they were airwing. You better believe those guys got out of the Navy after their first enlistment without any skills. In the Army and Marines those guys are infantrymen and we know how damaged they are because they are on the frontlines. These guys tend to be Black and Brown and probably they didn't perform well on their ASVABs and held crappy jobs. Now once they have experienced these crappy jobs I said up above they can strike or shoot for a school, but often those are the guys who get out pretty much in the same place they entered. So the problem is the studies are not concise at all. If 600,000 people are homeless is anyone taking a survey on what jobs where held? Probably not, but asking if a homeless person served is much easier than trying to find out if the person was a low income worker. For example if you look up how many people are homeless due to foreclosure then you would see that a large number of homeless are actually there because they lost their homes. This number is higher than veterans, but the comparison isn't quite as biting because associating homelessness with the military is a way to speak against the military for those who would like the budget to be shifted somewhere else. This doesn't mean that I don't think that the budget shouldn't be shifted. This is my logic for why the focus on homelessness and veterans is so prevalent and why the studies avoid talking about the jobs held by most homeless veterans. If the studies took the time to analyze jobs held by veterans then it would open the door to the use of ignorance as a tool in recruitment which would decrease the number of people enlisting. (This is really the issue that needs to be addressed.) Your discussion on the military is common and I get it. Money should be used on education or any number of things, but it isn't. Nothing I can say here will fix that. The discussion that was begun however stated that you are more likely to be homeless if you are a veteran, or that 1 in 4 veterans are homeless. The thing is none of those studies take into consideration where the person came from prior to their enlistment and they definitely don't analyze the type of job that person had while serving. Therefore these studies are flawed. All of them are flawed and they fail to get to the core of the issue of homelessness which is in direct correlation to a person who enlists being unaware of the options they have when enlisting. Does this use of ignorance take advantage of minorities? Yessir, but once again this is not just a military issue. Not liking that the military is the only option is your right and you can give reasons for why you don't like it. I can give my own personal reasons why I think it is a very good option. This doesn't mean that I was indoctrinated in any way or programmed/brainwashed and that I'm not critical of the military, but none of you asked me to be critical and give my opinion on the problems. You connected homelessness to being a veteran and stated that the military was not a good option. I simply stated that from my experience of being in the Navy and having a lot of associates and family serve, the good far outweighs the bad. Good points Troy.

I do apologize for bringing Chris Burns into the conversation, but his story is such an inspiring one. And of course, it reinforces what I've heard from so many other guys down through the years who valued their time in the service. I am not a patriotic cheer leader for the military. I am simply viewing it from a pragmatic point of view, taking into account what veterans like Chris have said, and this includes my father, my brother, my husband, my sons and grand kids. What mystifies me, Troy, is why you feel the need to lecture us about the imperfections of the Military, presumably because you despise how it fights wars and kills people and demoralizes some of its members. So what else is new? Your being revolted by the Armed services is like saying Religion is evil and folks shouldn't join churches and invest their faith and money in greedy hypocritical leaders. Or that Education deserves a failing grade because children are not being taught effectively. Or that Banks are bad and you shouldn't put your money in them because they can't be trusted. Or that Newspapers are not reliable because they slant and sensationalize the news. Or that Government is corrupt and mistreats the common people. Or that The Law does not dispense equal justice. Or that Marriage and the Family are obsolete and should be adapted to the life as it now exists. I could go on and on, deconstructing the institutions that are the pillars of a structured society, - which unfortunately provide grist for the mill of disillusioned Idealists who want to reform the world because it is not perfect. Have at it. Armies have always been around; just like prostitution, the world's oldest profession. And these mainstays of "civilization" aren't going away. I understand that you consider all of the paragons I named as prime examples of how The Great Unwashed are exploited by The Powers That Be. BUT IT IS, WHAT IT IS. Welcome to the world as it exists - imperfect because it is the end result of flawed human beings.

Monday, June 13, 8:30 AM–5:00 PM FROM THE BLACK ARTS MOVEMENT TO CAVE CANEM To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Black Arts Movement and the 20th anniversary of Cave Canem, a day-long symposium featuring two panels and a Master Class in children’s literature. This event is co-sponsored by the Folger Shakespeare Library’s O.B. Hardison Poetry Series, PEN/Faulkner Foundation, We Need Diverse Books, and Cave Canem Foundation. 8:30AM – 12:30PM: Master Class featuring Kwame Alexander, Jacqueline Woodson, and other faculty members, Jason Low, publisher at Lee & Low Books; Jennifer Brown, publisher at Knopf Books for Young Readers, a Penguin Random House imprint; and Cassandra Pelham, senior editor at Graphix, a Scholastic imprint. *Master Class open only to accepted applicants. 2:00PM – 3:30PM: Panel One: “Writing Across Genre,” featuring Tony Medina and Marilyn Nelson, moderated by Marita Golden 3:30PM – 5:00PM: Panel Two: “Organizing Founders,” featuring Michael Datcher, Toi Derricotte, and, Sharan Strange, moderated by Joanne Gabbin Evening events to follow at the Folger Shakespeare Theater. Location: LJ-119, First floor, Thomas Jefferson Building Contact: (202) 707-5394 from Kwame Alexander Author of The Crossover, awarded the 2015 Newbery Medal for Most Distinguished Contribution to American Literature for Children

I'm good Cynique. I didn't respond because it's a waste of time. I realized also that Harry started the thread. SMH, when someone is willing to diss the enlisted people of the military it is very telling.