richardmurray

LUKE CAGE ON DEEP SPACE NINE chapter 1

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13028411/1/LUKE-CAGE-ON-DEEP-SPACE-NINE

MY THOUGHTS AS I READ... 

I think Doctor bashir will say instead of "he seems to be made of...sterner stuff than most" 

the following: "His cellular regeneration or cell wall permeability is similar to what is in starfleet records for genetically modified humans though the tricorder is revealing something curious... he was born long before similar processes were standardized in medical records " 

Doctor bashir is lighthearted , likes jokes, but remember, he is a scientist in the federation and they are usually, when it comes to the scientific method, straight forward, near mechanical.

... your luke cage is quite comfortable in his initial shock. 

Your Odo I love when he said "a what" that is well done:) Your Odo is on point man. I like the quadlog between captain sisqo/odo/bashir/cage:) well done . 

When cage said "if I was him~"  well done. that is luke cage:)  

Black unity , love it, timeless. 

Ahh.. fair enough explaining his ease with all this... it makes sense. 

"your quarters" not "some quarters" no big deal at all. 

I think instead of "In our time, discrimination between humans, based on ethnicity or gender, or any other factor is non-existant"

Sisko will say :"In our time, discrimination between humans, based on ethnicity or gender, or any other factor is significantly negligible"

I say this cause the augments, which can be considered a genetic gender, in the star trek timeline whether khan or bashir himself who is only lightly manipulated were treated unfairly for being what they are in various ways. 
And the maquis, can be considered a cultural ethnicity, they are born from starfleet and people in the federation who felt the federation betrayed its principles by not protecting to the fullest people of the federation who still lived in the border between the cardasians and the federation. 
It is like Anarchist in the usa or black militants in the usa. They are not visually different but they are culturally different in key ways. the culture of the federation is heavily set in the rule of law and by default the culture of the maquis is acting when the rule of law is not enough.
And I think sisko will say that. He isn't as defensive for the federation as pakard nor is he as short worded as kirk, like janeway, sisko is more of a public teacher to those about him.

Before sisko nods sisko would have to talk about his cooking. Sisko gets the chance to test his new orleans cuisine on the mouth of someone black from the olden times.

Instead of "sisko nodded and smiled and left" something like the following.

<Sisko nodded and smiled and turned to leave but then snaps his fingers and turns around and says: "I rarely get anyone who knows what soul food supposed to taste like, so I am lucky, I will be able to prepare dinner for you tonight" . Cage smiles, and Sisko leaves smiling. >