Troy

There is nothing about him that you probably don't already know. You probably know more about him than I do Pioneer. After looking just now I do see the stuff about him and what you call an "exotic dancer" we used to just call them whores. But at any rate, he has children by different women he is not married to. While this is not unusual behavior today, most of the folks that do this stuff don't go around presenting themselves as someone who can help others. Again, Pioneer do you think he is the right person to be talking about maintaining healthy marriages? I know he is a dynamic and popular speaker, so I understand the appeal. But I think we should be a bit more discriminating when we start throwing around accolades like "greatest Black leader," to men based on charisma.

Pioneer do you think Dr Umar should be telling people how to run the lives given his behavior? Mel, my parent's marriage lasted from 1960 until 1977 when my father died. Even if their marriage was ideal, the world is so different today than it was back then their experiences would almost be irrelevant today. The culture is a problem is more ways than I can get into in right now, but pioneer touched a many of them. Do you remember the dance we used to call "the freak?" Nevermind, I would have to tell you things about ghetto culture and how men relate to women that I don't honestly feel like talking about it... Del grew up in Hunts Point he can probably relate a little bit about what I'm talking about. The model's many Black men are exposed to do NOTHING to facilitate a long term relationship with women. But this ghetto mentality has spilled over into the larger culture. Have you listened to rap music lyrics the generation after us was exposed to? Have you considered the consumer mentality, have you considered the transition from books to screens and the information these screen relate... I don't know Mel if you don't see (or perceive) how the culture we live in adversely impact long-term relationship before they get started I'm not sure what I can tell you... Surely you understand how hyper-incarceration, shitty schools, predatory lending, etc have disproportionately destroyed Black families right?

True, but I think the biggest problem we have is the culture. The world was a very different place 50 years ago when Black marriages were far more likely to succeed. Today there are so many things that work against a successful marriage it is amazing anyone can make one last at all. Perhaps that is why a substantial majority of marriage don't make it. I think it is wrong to lay this problem down solely at the feet of the individual. There is no relationship role model because the culture changes so rapidly as soon a relationship model emerges it is obsolete. It was not that long ago when finding a mate online was impossible, then it was considered weird, now it is one of the top ways people find their mates. I prefer the old fashioned way because it is much easier to assess someone in person than it is online. I don't like algorithms used for this purpose I think humans are losing valuable skills by relying on some corporate algorithm to find a mate. Given the steady decline in the rates of marriage and increasing divorce rates, these algorithms are obviously not doing a very good job and may be making thing worse I don't have the answer. I actually don't think there is an answer in the context of our current culture. The writing has been on the wall for some time now: the days of monogamous, to-death-do-us-part days or marriage are over. The end of children being raised in a household with to opposite-sex biological parents is natural consequence Of course, there will never be a shortage of people who will profit off telling people how to achieve a successful marriage. What surprises me is that the individuals making the most money doing this, including Dr. Umar, have failed to demonstrate the ability in their own lives. I speak as someone who has been married to the same woman since 1990.

Mel I think we are talking about two different things. Of course, if something is imperceptible it is not subject to one's will. It is like saying someone has an unwillingness to see a Muon (an unstable subatomic particle). I'm talking abut people who have the ability to perceive something but chose to ignore it or create a story to explain it away. I think most of the Black men who voted for Trump did so for financial reasons mostly. What do you think? I'm sure most of the Black men who chose not to vote were bombarded by the media Hillary is crook message and chose to opt out, that and the fact you have to get up and stand in a line was enough to stop great numbers of people from voting--not just Black men. I almost opted out until Cynique, without realizing it, talked some sense into me. But I've talked to a lot of Black people who chose not to vote...

I absolutely would use my extrasensory perception for financial gain. From time to time I feel like I have extra sensory experiences. For example, when I was a kid, if I was in the lobby of my apartment building I knew what my mother was preparing for dinner --especially if it was something I liked. I could "smell" the meal. Years later I realized it was physically impossible for me to smell a meal that was being prepared in an apartment 3 stories away, but if happened so frequently it could not be chalked up to coincidence. I even experienced this in within the last few years. Now I can't do it on demand it just comes to me. I've also had the persistent thought that the Earth as we know it will not persist. Interestingly, it is not a negative feeling, more of a feeling of pending transition. It is not a situation that only I experience, like my own death, but one many people will experience or transition that many people will experience simultaneously. Again I'd know what it means or even if I could understand it, but it feels like something that will occur in my natural life time.

@Mel Hopkins, sure there can be an "unwillingness' to see racism. People are in denial about a great many things. It makes it easier to get through life--especially when the thing you choose to ignore in something you can't do anything about. Yes, I often wonder about the 6% of Black women who voted for Trump. If would be really interesting to pick their brains about their reasoning. I suspect most a just very conservative and voted the party line, some are probably so firmly entrenched in the white culture that a Trump vote just made sense, still others voted for him simply because they felt they would benefit financially. I suspect Omarosa is one of these ladies. Does anyone personally know a Black woman that voted for Trump? @Delano , based upon your reasoning everything is in one's mind, which makes a discussion or debate about anything futile doesn't it? Still your response did not answer my question, apparently, the boldfacing alone was not enough to grab your attention: Del, do you think Trump, at least sometimes, behaves in a racist manner?

Mel, I don't expect you to be "up in arms," I'm not even up in arms. Had Pioneer not posted the photos I probably would never have seen it. I have not cracked the pages of Time in more years than I can remember. I also want to remind you this is not about "beauty" for me. I never used the word, all I've done is refute beauty being part of my argument. No need to be confused, I'm not writing Time magazine, I'm not calling for a boycott of them, I'll just go back to continuing to ignore them Again I just find it fascinating that some people see racism where other do not. Even the unwillingness of some to recognize it when it is staring them in the face is remarkable to me. I would never have guessed this to be the case. I've learned a lot in the discussion. Actually, I've been reading a lot on this subject lately but I should have been more precise. Old people watch TV for news. The majority of young America consume news online and the majority of those through social media. The trend strongly favors a rapid growth of news consumption in this manner, and if Facebook continues to grow in dominance, they could be the number platform for the consumption of news for Americans. What makes Facebook's dominance so troubling is that fake news still proliferates on Facebook and their algorithm creates filter bubbles. The end result is a population which is at best less informed and at worse, misinformed... Now if you want to apply the "phrase up in arms" to me. Use it in conjunction with Facebook. I've been boycotting the platform since early March. But I also recognize virtually no one will boycott Facebook despite tons of great reasons to do so. People just don't care enough about anything to change any aspect of their behavior for more than a few minutes. Think about it, (this is probably worth a separate conversation), the planet is rapidly heading to a point where it will be inhospitable to sustain humanity; and collectively we are doing NOTHING about it. We are an interesting species... The failure of the media to recognize Trump for the racist (or at least behaves like one, courting and earning the support KKK) con man he is, in fact, the reason he in the white house. They failed to call a spade a spade but instead treated him as if he was a legitimate candidate, covering him extensively--just to make more money. The failure to recognize racism is dangerous to us as Black people and virtually ensures its continuation. Now, of course, I know racism (as Del implied) is a tool of the capitalist. I also know that any educated person knows there is only one race and humans are far more alike than we are different. But these facts mean very little to actual racist operating in a racist society. @Cynique, OK I understand your response to my question. I also feel some kinda way about Leslie's skits on SNL too, particularly when they pair her with that puny white boy. But SNL is starting to bore me anyway. I'm tired of seeing Trump administration skits, They are becoming less and less funny to me. Still SNL is a show written by mostly white men for white people. How many years did it take for them to get Black women on the show? And when they finally got some we see how they are used... @Delano , I just wanted to know what you thought about Trump. I can't know what is in the man's heart, but his behavior is indistinguishable from a racist's. So it does not really matter what you or I think about his underlying motives. His behavior speaks for itself. Del, do you think Trump, at least sometimes, behaves in a racist manner? Bold faced so that you don't forget it this time? Del, my comment about being the only person who believes Trump is a racist was not meant to be taken literally. It was a just a playful dig at you and Mel

Here is a list of all the AALBC.com bestselling authors from the past 20 years--over 600 hundred names: https://aalbc.com/authors/bestselling-authors-all.php

Actually, I had noticed Mel, and I even wrote about the fact on is a forum. If General Managers, News director, exec producers, and reporters are racist. Their product will be racist. But we'll just have to agree to disagree on this point. Mel I simply do not consume news on TV and have not for decades. So I have less than zero motivation to write them. Besides the majority of Americans now consume news on social media, and you already know how I feel about social media. I consume my news from newspapers, magazines, and websites. I do comment on websites. I never write a newspaper or magazine; I just stop subscribing. My weapon of choice, as you might image, is the book. Of course in the infinite scheme of things this one photo of Viola is inconsequential. However, the photo is reflective of a country whose culture has been hostile to Black people since it's inception. The racism here is so entrenched many white people fail to comprehend how they benefit and sadly many Blacks fail to understand how they have been harmed. Indeed many of us buy wholeheartedly into the institutions and structures that are doing us harm. Billy Dee can sell us malt liquor to drink, NWA can sell us the gangsta mentality, books written for Black children attempt to completely whitewash the horrors of slavery, our most successful athletes can be depicted in ways the perpetuate the Black brute stereotype, and even the talented Viola Davis can be displayed in a manner that invokes black sambo imagery. But this will never change because in a white racist culture you 'll never go broke being racist, it may even land you in the white house. Oh, my bad, I'm apparently the only one who believes Trump is indeed racist...

@Mel Hopkins, I'm surprised you would use this approach to answer the question I posed. I believe you understood my question. I also believe you know I know what the word means. My use of the word in this context was appropriate given a broader and perhaps more colloquial use of the term As in the results of an action taken by a person who is a racist is "racist." A broader description of #2 of the definition you provided would include in my view the media's representation of our people; which is part of our "social system." Here is a new question for you (anyone). Do you believe that the media (news, entertainment, etc) is capable of being racist?

The film I Origins is on Amazon Fire, I will watch it this weekend.

@Delano, Thumper used to say "every closed eye ain't sleep." I saw many of your bread crumbs but chose not to run with them. In much the same was you avoided my question asking you if you thought Trump was racist. God forbid someone around here provides a simple yes or no response to a direct question Del, do you think Trump is a racist? I chose, for example, not to pick up some of your breadcrumbs; like the comment of me sounding like Pioneer--that one cut deep Bruh (sorry Pioneer ). It is a tactic you like, as you used it in your last post--again I chose not to run with it. All barbs aside I have no problem agreeing with Pioneer from time to time. On this particular issue though we agree for slightly different reasons. Of course our perceptions on these photos are purely subjective. There is no "right" or "wrong" answer here. I never wrote or suggested the anyone else here is "wrong" or that I'm right. Obviously, I think I'm right, but I also recognize that I can be wrong which is the only reason I'm even entertaining alternative opinions. For example, Cynique mentioned challenging religious people on their views. I never do this because people who follow a religion, by definition, are not open to alternative perspectives. I assume all of you open to alternative opinions, otherwise, why bother reading the opinions of people whose opinions differ, often strongly, from own? So @Mel Hopkins I can only assume that you see no racism in the way that LeBron is portrayed (assuming because you did not respond to my question). I don't view Lebron as my protector. If anything I see him as my kid, a big rich one, but someone junior to me as a son is to a father. So when I see the photo I see my kid being ridiculed in a very slick racist manner. In fact, LeBron could have used some protection himself, but on a different level. When I see that photo of Dijomon Hinsou (sp?) I'm just reminded of the story, from where the image was taken, of how a handful of white boys defeated a massive army of Black Africans... (the Hinsou character was thrown down a hole, and he was an emissary, whose role was not respected) But again this is from the perspective of a Black man raised in a white racist society and feed to countless stories a Black people being defeated by white on every level. Look, I know almost no one looks at the images we are fed this deeply and how it adversely impacts us. This is why @Pioneer1pointing out Viola resonated with me I knew exactly where he was coming from--even though we may disagree on some of the particulars. Our perspective might sound alien, but that is because Black male perspectives are ignored suppressed even. We can choose to ignore racism, or explain it away, and suffer the consequences. I'd prefer that we recognize it for what it is and deal with it.

Cynique, I'm glad you did not delete the post too. I truly enjoyed reading it. It was riveting, poignant, profound, and revealing. Thank you.

Yes, Harvey is overexposed in my opinion. The opinion of Black women in this regard does not matter very much. So he will be all over the place until he is no longer profitable, and he'll keep working his butt off as long as he is racking in the dough.

Very interesting. @Delano , if a tree falls in the forest it still makes a sound--even if no one is there to hear it. Similarly, if a racist behaves in a racist manner, but one can't or chosen not to perceive it as such does not make the racist any less racist. Here is a question for you: Is Trump racist? To your way of thinking Del, if you are not in the forest to hear the tree falling it does not make a sound and therefore if you choose not to see racism it does not exist. Does that sum it up? Is racism purely subjective, in the eye of the beholder? @Cynique, you still did not answer my simple question: Which photo looks more natural? Interestingly you responded to which one looks "better." Perhaps that was a Freudian slip. You and Del seem to be fixated on her relative attractiveness. I'm not concerned with that and have not raised the issue of her beauty. Pioneer has raised this issue her attractiveness, but while we agree on the "subtle racism" in play here, we do see things a little differently. @Mel Hopkins , I don't disagree much of what you wrote in your past post. Here is a simple question for you (or anyone of course); is the photo of Lebron James, which Cynique accurately described as "being substituted for the giant gorilla King Kong," even a little racist in your view? Why or why not?

@hen81 your link redirects to http://www.viglink.com/shop/merchants was this your intent?

@Cynique, I may have missed it, but did you actually answer the question? Which photo looks more natural? @Delano, Viola is a commodity, but I would I still think she is one of the most brilliant actresses working today. Yes, this conversation is all about image, perception, and I'd add racism. But again, Del you seem to want to make the about Viola--I could find bazillion photos of other women and make the same point. I can even find a photo of a guy and make the same point. Do you understand what I'm saying? The culture is so aligned against us, we've stopped even noticing, or we make excuses for it. I can understand why you are indifferent to the photo, I would have been indifferent to it or completely unaware of it unless Pioneer posted it. But to behave as if the photo of Viola, Lebron, or even that stupid book about Washington's slaves scurrying about to make a cake without sugar, is not racist is naive. In some quarters failing to recognize racism, or racists, can lead to really bad outcomes. The election of 45 comes to mind. @Mel Hopkins I'm afraid I did not communicate my point very well because it looks like you missed it. But in general, in a white racist culture white men exercise a lot of power over Black women. Sometimes the use of the power escapes Black women and this can be infuriating to brothers...

@Elva D. Green, that is EXACTLY why this site is here. I used all caps because you expressed the situation perfectly and that is relatively rare. Reaching this audience does not come at the expense of reaching readers in the white mainstream, one can reach both audiences. This site is used as a resource by many schools and libraries. Now this demographic does not participate in the forums and make their presence known, but I see the traffic from their domains, I see the 1,000s of backlinks from their sites, and they tell me what a resource AALBC.com is for them when I attend or speak at their conferences. Now I could do a better job of helping authors appreciate these advantages, but I too am resource constrained. Part of the problem, I think, is that there is just so much attention paid to social media by the media; one would think sites like AALBC.com don't even exist. But the media are lazier (or under-resourced) than ever so unless it is on social media it does not exist for them. Many authors are no different, and don't understand anything outside of social media or Amazon. As a result, they don't maintain a website, a mailing list, take advance of sites like AALBC.com, or do any of the other very basic things an author needs to do online to reach a large auidence. The net result of this situation is that indies sites find it very difficult to attract traffic. AALBC.com does FAR better than any site of its kind, that I'm aware of, but if authors do not embrace and utilize resources like AALBC.com are growth is constrained. Ultimately an author's only option is Facebook and Amazon--who only care about your work insofar as they can profit from it. Which does not serve authors or readers very well at all.

Hi Elva, the process is pretty simple. Your AALBC.com URL is https://aalbc.com/authors/author.php?author_name=Elva+Diane+Green But this service is designed for authors who have no web presence or are using Facebook or Amazon as their primary web presence. Your site https://pininthetush.com/ is already a very nice looking, content rich site. In this case, I would not recommend this particular service for you. But maybe I'm missing something; what specifically are you trying to accomplish?

No, it is not a first. BET, when it was Black owned, had a program about books (I forget the name of the program and I a quick youtube search did not turn up anything). It did not last every long, but people were really excited about it when it launched. More recently, Arise Entertainment did a segment on books. It was executed very well but as far as I can tell they did nothing to promote it. The most recent one I could find is shown below. Even after three years it has less than 300 views, and I'd be wlling to bet I drove most of those (as I'm doing now).

Recently, an author wrote me to confirm that she was an "AALBC.com Bestselling Author." I assured her she was and directed her to her page. (One of the benefits of the new site design is that this info is managed in real time and is so much easier to manage.) She thanked me and told e she just wanted to be sure before she used the fact to promote her next book. I told her I wish every AALBC.com Bestselling author share her insight and enthusiasm for the accomplishment. We both reflected that AALBC.com is the only entity that maintains a regularly updated bestsellers list. The is the 20th year I've maintained a list. The first Bestsellers list was published in 1998. Back in 1998, There was the Blackboard Bestsellers list, which was taken over by Essence who ran it for a few years, and dropped it a few years later. Black Expressions Book Club also had a bestsellers list, but all of these have been defunct for years. I even worked with a few other booksellers to produce a brand new list called the Power List, but after 2 1/2 years and a failure to gain any real traction, we abandoned the project--it simply was not worth the extra effort required to maintain it. She suggested that I create an AALBC.com seal. If was like a light went off and I said to myself--why did I not think of that sooner? In fact, I recall just prior to launching the Power List a publishing industry veteran suggested that I just do an AALBC.com bestsellers list. I continued with the Power List simply because I wanted to try to leverage the collaboration of multiple sites. Well, that is some of the history of Black Bestselling Books lists. In fact, the story is far more interesting, but those are stories for another day. These are the finalists for the AALBC.com Bestselling Book Seal Please let me know which one(s) you like the most and why. Personally, I like two of them, and two of them I'm not even considering.

Cynique let me phrase Pioneer's question a little differently. Let's say one of your sons blew of Mothers Day this year--he did not give you a present or even call you on that day. However, you know that he loves and appreciates you. He regularly takes you out to dinner and frequently calls. Would you love your son less or be angry because your son did not celebrate "Mother Day" with you?

@Delano, you answered your own question. Viola s a great actress but she is a commodity, very easily substituted... this is the nature of celebrity. Which also goes to @Frederic's point. I'm sure Viola is accustomed to people talking about her in ways that she may find surprising, incomprehensible, or even silly. Again, it is the nature of celebrity. I asserted this conversation is not about Viola--it could have been anyone. Is it a debate about the depiction, and resulting perception, of Black women in a white racist society. Obviously, there is some disagreement on the nature of these different perspectives. These differences in perspective come up ALOT. Another example is that way Black women are portrayed in rap music video and lyrics (I have not watched a rap video in several years so I don't know if anything has changed). We all know the negative ways Black women were(are) portrayed. We have also heard the rap artists explain away and justify depicting Black women in an objectified, misogynistic manner. I always viewed this as a racist treatment of our people, but I was always an outlier on this issue. @Mel Hopkins as far as the book is concerned I "understand" the portrayal--this was not the first book like this, nor will it be the last. Little Black Sambo was a happy character too. But both are straight up racist. Mel of course white men "see" Black women differently in the context of this white racist culture. Here is an example that will help you understand the difference: When Black American men go to other countries (DR, Rio, Ghana, etc) the women in those countries treat Black American's "extremely well" (wink, wink). Can you appreciate why the local men in those countries would look upon these women differently that the American men would? Now here is the kicker Mel; if these local women also believe that the American men were better to them, or somehow less critical of their appearance than their local men; how do you think those local men would feel? Now think about that in the context of how you described the way white American men look at Black women here. @Cynique, I did not recognize Viola, so the image is extremely unnatural in my opinion. Pioneer did not recognize here either. But before you say this is more about us that the picture consider the following: I've yet to come across a cover photo in a major magazine that is 100% "natural." But some covers are more natural looking than others which of the magazine covers below do you (please anyone may answer) think is more natural looking? Which cover do you find more flattering? Please explain your answer. @Pioneer1, I see now I have the add back the Time magazine cover, content is important here. I'll launch the survey later this morning. Thanks everyone for the comment so far, it has been very enlightening.

Mel (everybody), please do not hesitate to provide constructive criitism I need it. Thanks Mel for thanking the time to provide you insight! Thanks Del.

I guess I'm a product of my environment, @Mel Hopkins. I was just about to post the graphic to solicit people to fill out the survey, but while looking at the photo, divorced from the Time magazine cover, it just looks like a westernized Black woman. The visual loses a little of it's punch removed from the context of Time cover. @Pioneer1 what do you think? Does it make a difference to you? Mel, I guess where I'm stuck is that you are saying that I'm using the white racist lens to view the photo. I can tell you for certain that is not it--because if I were, I would actually like the photo as much as Time obviously does. If anything, I'm looking at it from a Black male racist's lens. But since Black people can't be racist in America... I'm just seeing it from the perspective of American Black man. Remember the not to subtly racist book, A Birthday Cake for Washington. This book was overseen by plenty of Black people. Even the Illustrator Vanessa Brantley-Newton is Black. The Book's editor Andrea Davis Pinkney is Black. Indeed before the book was pulled Davis is quoted as saying: “… [W]e have a tremendous responsibility to present history with the utmost accuracy and care . . . . author Ramin Ganeshram . . . spent years researching the life and times of George Washington’s enslaved chef, Hercules to craft her book . . . . And, with this responsibility in mind, acclaimed artist Vanessa Newton made the deliberate choice to depict slaves as beautiful people who possessed great dignity, . . . and who smiled about their achievements in the face of slavery’s degrading evils”. No one prior to this book's publication said wait WTF is going on here?! This is why we need Black heterosexual men in publishing... and they wonder why Black men don't read more. New York publishing does not care about Black men. I could go on all day with examples like this. The Time cover just another one. As a sanity check, Mel and Cynique, do you think this book is racist?