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Delano

Invisible Black Males

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This quote sums up the article  

 

Natalie Hopkinson, a professor at Howard University, summed it up.

“A lot of black men are just not hearing what black women are saying because they are too busy complaining about their own situation,” she said. “When it comes to really supporting black women, nobody has our back but us.”

 

But individually I believe black  men protect black women who they believe deserve protecting.   In fact, I don’t even think ethinicity really plays a role. 

It’s the battle of the sexes in play. 

 

At least, that’s been my perception.

 

I think  black women move to protect black men because we actually give birth to them so our knee jerk reaction is to protect the “baby boy”.   I don’t have that nurturing reaction or response because I gave birth to girls -

 

I expect men to protect me whether they want to or not. 😏

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This article made me think of a past discussion. To name a Black Man that helped Black Women. 

I also came across an article that said Trump was derogatory to Black Women because they could see through him. 

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Yeah, I can’t think of black men organizing to specifically come to the aid of black women... but I can name a bunch of men who have supported me as an individual... I can also name men who have come to aid of indiviual women...

 

If black men would ever organize to  conspicuously support black women - that is the day “race” relations will change - and the current system will crumble. 

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Too many AfroAmerican males have neither the ability nor the desire to PROPERLY defend AfroAmerican women....or even themselves for that matter.
Too many are in a child-like condition.

Why would you berate a 7 year old little boy for not protecting his mother after criminals break in the house and abuse her before taking everything?

What do you expect HIM to do?
What CAN he do?

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@Pioneer1And what category do you fit into when it comes to black males defending black women?  All you're good for is criticizing sistas for not presenting themselves the way you think they should, and babbling about black men's inadequacies. Have you looked into the mirror lately?? SMH.

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Cynique

 

And what category do you fit into when it comes to black males defending black women?


You can choose from any of several categories that are superior to those most of the men in YOUR life are found in, lol.

 

 

Have you looked into the mirror lately??


Was that a sincere question?
Lol....
Or are you just expressing jealousy because I CAN actually look in a mirror without worrying how much it will cost to replace it?

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@Pioneer1Sooo, what category can a coward like you fit in??  And, yes, it was a sincere question.  Have you looked in the mirror lately?  Evading the issues just makes you come across worse; if that's possible.   😁 

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I dunno but I feel that if other pertinent issues are not addressed then this gender issue that other people keep highlight and exploiting to keep AfroAmericans divided will continue. It is as if we are still afraid to address this crucial issue . . . and it is more convenient and much safer to keep blaming this gender issue on Black men completely. . . as if we both don't play a role in this kind of mistreatment against Black women. 

 

In my upbringin and now, when I sit around my relatives, and hear how Black women obsess over light skinned Black men, and White men on soap operas and etc. it makes me sick. ONe of my sister-in-laws, married a very, very, dark skinned man and had 3 sons. She constantly talked at the table amongst her other sisters about how Black skiined her husband is... and she always stressed the word BLACK as if it was UGLY. Finally, one day, her brother, [my husband] told her to just STOP. When she dated him, her older sister, first saw this man, and she immediately told her baby sister, NO!!!-- She did this right in front of my brother-in-law. So he never liked that older sister. A few years later, the 'baby sister severely abused her sons, ran off with his 'cousin' and abandoned her sons... 

 

Another relative of mines had two little boys, but openly preferred the father over her sons because they were not as light skinned as their father and they had nappy hair like her. She preferred his Illegitimate  son over her sons because he was light skinned and had 'good hair'. When her little boy at the age of 6, told her that he was being sexually molested, she did nothing. But when he told his father in the presence of his mother, the father flipped out, but the mother stated, "i was also molested" and downplayed the matter, ... and it was her own child. When the father came home and saw that both his son and daudhter were allowed to take baths together when they were about 6 years old, he abruptly stopped it and had to tell his wife, to not allow this. .........

 

So when I hear how Black men allow 'bad AfroAmerican or BLack women' the opportunity to oppress Black children, it makes me confused on how these issue are also not addressed when Black women want Black men to protect them from White racism. It makes me sick. I would never support NOrdism coming from Trump or anyone, but there are some serious issues that still exist amongst AFroAmericans that I will not ignore. 

 

Black women and little Black girls don't need bad role models from either adult genders, especially the mothers because they become our first nurturers in life. But if they become adults and mothers that repeat a pattern of self hate and act against their own children, that will not help at all to hide this issue and expect the Black race to cry that we don't want to be victims of racism. 

 

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@Delano this is a variation of a theme I previously raised and how it impact our literature. 

 

The question you asked is not really the right one, that is if you are really trying to understand what you perceive as a lack of support Black men show for black women as a collective. Your questions makes the presumption that the reason for the lack of support is true and based upon gender -- neither are true.

 

There are a great many Black organizations who provide support for Black people of both genders (or should i now say all genders).

 

AALBC (Troy Johnson) has supported Black female authors for over 2 decades.  This is one example, there are countless more.  

 

Examples of Black men supporting other Black women does not go viral on social media, so you may not be aware of it. The lack of Black platforms inclined to celebrate these things, in the past have either gone out of business, or are focused or celebrity. 

 

Quote

“When it comes to really supporting black women, nobody has our back but us.“ --Natalie Hopkinson

 

This statement, quoted from the article, is complete and utter bullshit! My example of supporting Black women is just one, but EVERY Black man I deal with is supportive of Black women.  Sure, my experience is anecdotal, but so was Natalie's. The fact that it was published without contention, as if it was a matter of fact is so frustrating.  God only knows who will read this and absorb it as gospel.


The article cited social media as a evidence of the lack of Black male support:

 

Quote

“What I found was mostly black women once again organizing in self-defense — with a relatively few black guys giving shout-outs and “way to go, girls” on Twitter and Facebook.“

 

My God.  Ladies allow me to mansplain: MEN DO NOT USE SOCIAL MEDIA IN THIS FASHION! This also ignores the fact that Natalie can't see every post the algorithm is designed to be anything but balanced.  I dislike social media and how it has impacted reality.

 

The article goes on to cite Kanye West as proof of Black men not supporting black women (as if Kanye is a representative Black man) -- while completely ignoring the fact that a Black woman was sitting right next to Kanye?!

 

Interestingly, Omarosa was not mentioned in the article and she bore as much of Trump's wrath as any Black woman.  Why leave her out was she not worthy of support?  

 

This article was published by the Washington post (another Amazon property), who is more concerned with profit that telling the truth about Black support for each other.  White men control the narrative. Our fight is countering the nonsense and it is a fight we are losing -- badly!

 

 

 

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There's a fine line between supporting black women, and defending them.  i think most black women are aware of and appreciate black men acknowledging their achievements and aiding their aspirations.  i don't, however, think sistas feel as confident when it comes to black men defending them from the slings and arrows of the white powers that be. At that point black men's priority is to avoid jeopardizing their own status. Yes, black males will fight each other over disrespecting a black woman as the result of a FaceBook dispute. But the higher they are on the socio-economic scale, the less black men come to the rescue of the women, they so often pass over for white ones.   Black woman have historically  sacrificed and gone to bat for male leaders they believe in, and do this under any circumstances. They have also historically been on their own.  

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Troy before you tell me the question i should ask maybe speak to some Black Women, and everyone else. 

 

Maybe reread your post about Viola Davis and tell me the difference between defense and support. 

@Troy

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O agree. Promotion is more akin to support than defensive. 

So promoting Black Female writers is support. whole saying feminist issues are subordinate to racial issues is problematic for me.

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2 hours ago, Cynique said:

i don't, however, think sistas feel as confident when it comes to black men defending them from the slings and arrows of the white powers that be. At thapoint black men's priority is avoid jeopardizing their own status.

 

This has been historically true here in America - from Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman to the present.  I can’t think of one point in recent history where black men have come to the defense of black women.  I hope someone can and will correct me.

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@Delano again your question is based upon on flawed presumptions. If you recall the Viola Davis conversation you'd also recall i was defending Viola against what i took as her being depicted as racist caricature. After some debate I conceded i was too sensitive given the other women did not feel the same way. But lets be clear: i was defending my Sister.

 

35 minutes ago, Mel Hopkins said:

Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman to the present.  I can’t think of one point in recent history where black men have come to the defense of black women.  

 

How can you say that knowing our history of resistance from Naturner to Medgar evers?  who do you think these Brothers died for?

 

Black men defend their wives and daughters every single day -- doesn't that count? I know i did and do -- and so do the MOST of the Brothers I know.

 

Sure men are supposed to do this, but some men dont including white ones. Why single  black me out as if we deserve special consideration.?

 

Look i know the media love to focus on the disfunctional Black man to the point where women feel they are not being protected. Pehaps a consequence of a social media fueled world

 

Dont believe the hype. We as a people could not have suvived in this country if black men and women did not did not support each other.

 

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1 hour ago, Delano said:

This echoes the Viola Davis conversation

Could be.  Both you,

@Delano and @Cynique  clarified there’s a difference between “support” and “defense”... It’s hard not to agree.   When you mentioned Troy’s belief, that is shared by quite a few black men (putting racism before feminism), I couldn’t think of any time in history when black men haven’t suggested “there’s a time and place for black women... (whatever black women conjured up for the best for society) —

 

by the way, the Ethiopian PM made put women in half the cabinet positions - and put in place a woman president... because he believes women are best for the country... there’s that but its not quite the same as defending women.  He put women in position to defend the country.

51 minutes ago, Troy said:

Naturner to Medgar evers?

They were feminist? Rallied for equal rights for black women? 

51 minutes ago, Troy said:

Black men defend their wives and daughters every single day -- doesn't that count? 

Black women march against the state to save the lives of black men and boys they don’t know. 

 

That’s the difference. 

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@Troy how can you say my question is wrong. And then say Black men defend women. Yet can't give one example.

Your statement is similar to saying all Lives matters. Can you see how your statements reinforce the article. You don't see black women having concerns that extend beyond their colour. 

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This discussion reminds me of something that is undeniable, which is that Black people do not support Black media. Until that changes, propaganda like this will brainwash the masses. I have noticed something in my attempt to observe and study social behavior that is fascinating to me. I am certain that Black people as a whole are constantly being told what to believe and what to stand for.

 

Our behavior is definitely engineered, now more than ever! The most damaging thing they could have done to Black people was social media. These are algorithms we usually have no input or control over. Facebook workers have admitted that the platform's algorithm is written in a way that it protects white ideals and pretty much invalidates all others. There are racist concepts presented in their algorithm that go unchallenged by the masses and allows for more coercion than anything.

 

I do believe that Black men are almost overly protective of Black women to a degree and I am also pretty certain that Black women feel very protected when they are in the presence of Black man. I wouldn't believe this if I went by social media alone. However, in the world, I see this behavior without a doubt. Of course these factors are not as simple as Black and white. You also have to consider such things as class, education, etc. Our behavior changes and varies based on many key factors that a simple article will not be able to effectively address. The behavior of a Black impoverished area in Philadelphia may be hugely more different than a Black impoverished population in Florida, for example.

 

Our people differ and no two people are the same, but I would say that when it comes to protecting Black women, we do not fall short!

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@Delano I would have to agree with that statement. Our music needs to be rethought of and the platform needs to be more friendly to our children who listen to the repetitive hypnotizing beats on a consistent basis. This will definitely have an effect on social behavior, which is probably why they allowed the music to go mainstream in the first place. I just bet they didn't realize the crossover potential.

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@Delano Brother, though I agree that we can't defend them to the full potential that they deserve, I believe very much that we always come to the aid of our women, more-so than people of any other culture or race. This is why I also believe that white men do not try our sisters in our presence as much, because they know better. It happens but I feel that it is rare when a Black man stands down while another Black woman is being assaulted or even treated poorly. Heck, in certain areas the women even use this to their advantage and abuse that privilege though that is even more rare. From my viewpoint, when it comes to protecting our women, Black men are the most loyal. Again... I can't find much evidence of this on major social networks, but look at who is running that algorithm.

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@NubianFellow can yiu give me an example when yiu have seen a Black Man defend a Black women. Not theory or excuses or rationalisations. Just an example that you witnessed. 

We can't even acknowledge the problem. What an embarrassment. 

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@Delano Brother, I can give a few... me, for one. Had to stop a potential assault of a Black woman by her boyfriend. Unfortunately, this has happened a few times in my life where I needed to intervene. Also, this mentality seemed pretty common to me around my peers as well. I remember a Black man explaining to me the necessity of watching over our women at a young age and explaining to me why it wasn't okay to abuse women. Though I was in kindergarten, the message stayed with me for the rest of my life. So I think it's very important that more Black male adults have these conversations with our boys when they are the youngest and most impressionable. Don't wait until they are at an age where we believe they should understand, because we will be surprised at what a 4, 5 or 6 year old may be able to comprehend and what influence these words will have on them forever.

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@Delano Yes, I have had to defend Black women from other Black men. But I can also state that there are far more domestic cases of abuse involving the man abusing his women in white homes. This can be proven statistically. The truth, I believe, is that in this new internet age, that is very fresh and heavily evolving on a consistent and daily basis, things tend to be stretched out of proportion. People want engagement online and in order to get that you have to get people's interest. This means spreading propaganda, twisting reality, stretching things out of proportion and making reality seem as exciting as possible.

 

This is the power of social media and what makes it thrive. Some people believe every couple of years that the world is going to soon end, and they become so consumed with these ideas that they will give away possessions and wait for the inevitable end - to the point that when it doesn't happen, they are sad in a way. Black problems in the real world have become stretched out of proportion online for clicks. Yes, we do have a lot of issues that we need to resolve, but most of these issues are behavior faults that lie within our social structure.

 

Though I can admit that not every Black man is going to go out of his way to protect a Black woman, I believe that in any random scenario, the chance is likely that the Black man won't leave his woman to be handled by outsiders. And I have seen several videos online in which Black men always come to the rescue of Black women. Therefore, I believe any other beliefs are merely hype and propaganda.

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1 hour ago, NubianFellow said:

I am certain that Black people as a whole are constantly being told what to believe and what to stand for.

 

Exactly.

 

1 hour ago, NubianFellow said:

 

I do believe that Black men are almost overly protective of Black women to a degree and I am also pretty certain that Black women feel very protected when they are in the presence of Black man. I wouldn't believe this if I went by social media alone. 

 

This is so true.

 

@Delano karrine is not representative of Black people neither is commercial rap.

 

You realize much of what you regurgitatung is corporate nonsense. As a result, you believe Black men do not protect black women.

 

Unfortunately, this is obviously not your experience. As discussed you arent going to read about strong black men on social media or main stream media. 

 

We desperately need black media to control the narrative.

 

@NubianFellow welcome to the forum.

 

For what it is worth @Delano i've seen black men defend black woman, but this was always black men defending them against another black person sometimes a woman

 

I've yet to witness a white man get ill with a black woman in the presence of a black or vice versa. 

 

In the south, where the honor culture is still in full effect, you would not be considered much of a man if you let some dude dis your woman in your presence. 

 

 

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@Delano Here is what I mean by propaganda. Notice that non Hispanic Blacks show that they only account for 16.2 percent of police reported domestic disputes. But then the disputes that have never been reported jump up to surpass the Hispanics. My question here is if these disputes were never reported, then how do we know they even existed? Furthermore, the distinction of Hispanics is also a game that is being played on us. When Latinos do bad things, they get classified as Black Latino but when they are more progressive or elite, they are not classified as Black. I'm not saying by any means that we are a perfect people, but you have to admit, something's not right!

statistics.jpg

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Rap was never friendly to women in its 41 years. It has always been overwhelming male. It shaoes behaviour then amd now. 

Before rap was mainstream women where either invisible or prizes. Was it different where you grew up. How many all female crews were there in your hood. Cause inyhe Bronx there was Lisa Lee and Sha Rock. No female crews or female DJ in the first 10 years or so. 

There were a couple of Roxanne's. 

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@Delano You won't get any opposition from me about how rap music started off calling our women queens and our men kings, and then in less than ten years became hip hop which was the destruction of rap music. That is something else that we don't control, and anytime we give someone else control over us, we pretty much become their b-----s! But these days, surprisingly, Black people have forgotten their power as well as abandoned a trillion dollar contribution to the American economy that everyone else exploits while we are like deer standing on a highway caught in the lights of a truck about to get ran over. Rap music is only a part of that dynamic. Social engineering of our behavior starts before we are even born.

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You are projecting a fantasy that doesn't match anyone's experience. How many Black Men defended the Black Women that Trump disrespected. 0.

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@Delano Their game; their rules. I would hate to see what happens to a Black man trying to go against a race soldier who happens to be the president. We have to pick our battles wisely. Yet, I am sure that most Black men did not side with Trump. Now I admit, if our people were more active in politics, that would be a game changer all across the board. We can't use the excuse that we don't have the numbers anymore and I feel like when Black people say that their votes don't count, that is just weak! Everything we do counts!

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Girls this is an embarrassment. I am done. Try and convince Mel and Cynique. 

You don't defend what you don't respect. That may not apply to you, but clearly you're in the minority. 

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@Delano I won't agree that Black men don't protect the Black women, especially with this new gender war that exists predominantly in the Black community that was socially engineered. Women against the men? Everyone else does that for laughs. But the Black community, we just take it and run with it. I will agree when we talk about the crime rate and the fact that Black people are exterminating themselves. I will agree that we have praised our women for the wrong reasons for far too long. I will agree that we need to focus and concentrate on the true problems we face as a people, all that seem to have one common truth, which is the fact that Black people have not learned the art of cooperation. Until we learn to cooperate together as a people, there will be no hope for us. I see many flaws in the Black community, but the men not protecting the women is not one of those flaws that I see.

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13 minutes ago, Delano said:

You don't defend what you don't respect. That may not apply to you, but clearly you're in the minority.

 

@Delano how did you come to the conclusion that Nubuan Fellow and i are in the "clear minority?" Is there a study you can reference or some data you can present? Is all your information from white owned corporate media.

 

As far as the men on this forum you are definitely in the minority. 

 

Black men largely respect black women -- much more than the media would have you believe.  If your window into the black world is social media and tv you have a distorted picture. 

 

Subscribe to the Amsterdam news. 

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