I'm devoted to seeking the truth, whether it makes me uncomfortable or not. One truth i have learned early on is that the truth is evasive and that constancy is a marker for the real truth. I've also learned that seeking the truth calls for honesty on the part of the seeker and this creates internal conflict and mixed emotions.
The one thing that continues to stump me is whether religious beliefs are true. Now more than ever, because i am daily bombarded with religious memes and prayer requests and testimonies on FaceBook. I don't have a problem accepting that there is a higher intelligence and an almighty force of nature. Whether or not this power can be reduced to being a man who inspired other men to write a book of myth and fables, is something i'm luke warm about . That's because the world shows very little benefit from religion because it is too often at the core of so much conflict, not to mention how much evil thrives. Plus, the bible is so contradictory, alternating between forgiving and punishing, between overlooking some despicable acts and damning others, while portraying god as an egomaniac, condemning the free thinkers that he, himself, has created, relegating them to hell-fire for not accepting Jesus as his son. I do find a little truth in the observation about the only thing being wrong with Christianity , is Christians. Buddhism holds some appeal for me, however, because it more about getting in touch with your inner spirit.
Yet, millions are totally invested in religion, afflicted by blind faith. Although i do not consider myself a hard core atheist, leaning more toward Humanism or Pantheism, FaceBook has also introduced me to Atheism, and i must admit, its logic impresses me. I do think its true that most people need something to believe in and to turn to for comfort during a time of need, A simple phrase, like "it's god's will", apparently helps to bring closure for many. I ponder whether it could be true that humans are not only star children but are divine themselves, only needing to discover that what they attribute to a higher source is something they have extricated from their inner power.
in seeking the truth, i am a little troubled about what conclusions i've come to about my own race and, in truth, some of these ideas undoubtedly have to do with my being assimilated and brainwashed by white values. But i can truthfully say that i have never had to do a lot of soul searching when it comes to whether or not i would rather be white. My answer is simply no. And that's the truth.
I wish i could be a little less discriminating in my compassion. i don't always feel sorry for people who probably deserve sympathy.
"This above all, to thine ownself be true", is my mantra.