Mel Hopkins

@Pioneer1 I made my statement. How you respond is your business. Just like I mentioned about being average, the choice is always yours. Oh, and I'm never nice. I don't waste my time on it. @Troy , Why?

You're welcome! I'm mindful that not everyone has access to indoor plumbing and can take showers... but how awesome would it be to just take advantage of the next rain shower and/or storm.

@Cynique ok this one got a me a bit... Since it's one of the virtue I thought I needed to work on (got up this morning and thought to myself I'm kind of mean so why fake it LOL) So, why do you believe you need feel sympathy?

Poll authors regarding their professional and personal goals. Is it reader engagement? Sales? Market expansion? Introduction? Once you get responses, you'll be able to promote AALBC features that will help them achieve those goals.

Would you post it again

Not sure if this is relevant but I was born in the north - but now live in the south... I spend my time in my own head. I participate in my family gatherings but my family lived up north before returning to georgia. I don't venture out to public gatherings here - unless its to observe. One thing I noticed however when looking up "Chinese Zodiac" Year of the tiger etc I learned that I should avoid the southwest

It's easy to answer this question because we can easily determine the answer by how we spend our time. I just recently found yet another 160 page document in my file filled with my philosophy on the virtues. I'm committed to understanding my self; where I fall short on certain virtues and where I excel on others and I spend a great amount of time reading, thinking, writing to find out. Then I'm committed to inspiring others to do the same for themselves. Understanding Self is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and then to society. It changed my life in a way that I'm more skeptical of the tenets of the society. I see through them - and when you see through the illusion, you have to re-write your rules of engagement. Yet through it all I've learned to be more compassionate and patient.

@Pioneer1 Your arguments are inferior. You've presented a false dichotomy and I haven't the time nor desire to refute each. I'll just use your argument against you. 74 million people voted against 45* ,in the last election. 63+ million voted for him. The minority decided who is sitting in the oval office today. Those you believe, are the current minority, those who chose to pull themselves out of the "average" pool, now control the fate of the average. The "minority" of above-the-average people decide how much your time is worth per hour. The minority of above-the-average people decide if they will hire you for a job. The minority of above-the-average people decide where you will live, what clothes you wear, what you eat and what kind of health care you deserve. And you ask, How can the majority of ANY population be wrong???? They can't be wrong. They don't decide a damn thing. Now you can continue to excuse people for remaining average. Citing all the things that are keeping them average - or you can look to the people living in the same society under the same conditions and follow their lead to success. Because trust, the "minority" of above-the-average people aren't going to decide to change society so it will ease the pressures on folks too lazy to determine their own strengths. But then again maybe pounding the drums for mediocrity is to help you remain atop the heap of the company you keep. Only you know your reasons. In the interim, the "minority "of above-the-average people who pulled themselves out of the "average" pile will continue to decide your fate and the fate of those who you continue to excuse for being mediocre. Case-in-point, policymakers have been telling the masses since before the 90s, those high paying jobs are not coming back. Reagan said as much in the 80s. So, when Democratic Presidential candidate Obama, another one in the minority of those above-the-average folks, who came after the dotcom bust and its resurgence, gently told those in attendance, those jobs are not coming back, did they not believe him? President Obama came after the fall of the Auto-industry and bailed it out and when it returned it went high-tech. Yet, someone was still asking about jobs that left before the turn of the century? Yes, thank you for proving my point. Remaining average is a choice. President Obama was not the savior but he attempted to provide educational opportunities for the future generations and did. (I already posted that black women are now the most educated in America) But even Jesus couldn't save those too lazy to educate themselves about their own talents and innate power. Hmm, was it the majority or minority that even crucified him for trying? But you seem to think cheerleading black women who provide sex to dead-from-the-neck-on-up men will raise up the black community. Ain't nobody got to time to for those whom won't help himself.

@richardmurrayOk. I have those too. I think it's because I started my blog on this site after Troy did an upgrade.

@Delano The way, @Pioneer1 broke it down - support for "good" black men has nothing to do with one-on-one relationships If he were speaking about intimate black on black relationships - I would have simply liked the post and kept on moving. He mentioned women were cheer leaders and for "money making women to forgo shoes and slide a "good" black man money for speaking out against racism... Let me go copy what he wrote.." "We need BLACK Sarah Palins who are in love with strong Black men and willing to get behind Black men who are actually protecting the community and their families. We need Black women who are CHEER LEADERS for masculine Black men instead of Black women who praise Tupac and the neighborhood criminals. Women are the cheerleaders. Whenever you want a group of men to accomplish something, just hire a group of women to cheer them on and tell them how sexy they are when they do it and you'll see men perform superhuman feats! But it can also work the opposite way. If you want to drag a community down to the level of a beast, just find a way to condition the women of that society to like it that way and the men will do their best competiting with eachother to keep it in that savage condition. I believe the Black community would be FAR more advanced if Black women collectively would take the love and respect that they heap on criminals, clowns, and homosexual Black men.....and concentrate it on Black men who are actually making a difference in our community * * * Simple......1. When you see Black men take bold stands against racism whether at school or at work or in the community....VERBALLY praise him IN PUBLIC.Especially infront of White people.Let the public know that you support these type of men and let other Black people know it too.That will encourage more Black men to take stands if only to get the praise for it.2. HAVE SEX with Black men who are taking stands against racism or injustice.Again, leave the altrusitic bullshit with the Whites who originated it.Most Black men like women.....sex.A lot of women don't like the idea of showing appreciation to a man who is fighitng police brutality or mentoring her child or even life-coaching younger men.....rewarding him with sex.They feel he should be doing these things out of the goodness of his own heart.But most of what men do they do for sex and money and if offering that "good brother" on your block a little sum'sum will keep him fighitng for the community....it's worth it.3. OFFER FINANCIAL SUPPORT to Black men who are positive and doing things in the community.If you're making tons of money and have some to spare, instead of putting it in shoes just hand the brother an evelope and say, "Thank you for what you're doing in the community".A lot of Black men who are active in fighting racism and injustice don't hold steady jobs because his attitude won't let him. Many strong masculine Black men are seen as threatening and kept out of the work force and are struggling financially.If you see this, help him out.But one of the biggest things is the PUBLIC show of support.Like I said before, women are the cheerleaders and much of what men do they do to get praise from and impress women.If they don't feel that fighting for the community or being strong or even supporting their women will get them praise, attention, or sex....they aren't gonna do it.

Oh it's there... I just don't have a clue how to use it. I'll be back with a photo. But I do agree with you - it isn't necessary.

Thank you @richardmurray - I'm writing right now too - maybe we can come up with something together. Hold off for now and finish your book. I'll send you a message to check with you on your schedule. I know what it's like to juggle so many projects.

@Pioneer1 Yes, I believe EVERYONE is born with strengths and talents. Mine is being able to recognize those strengths and talents in others. We all have our reasons why we seek out the people we find in life. Maybe you seek out people who are lost to help them. Or maybe you seek out "average" people to exploit their vulnerabilities. We all operate on a wavelength that keeps us comfortable and allows us to achieve our internal and external goals. So If I am out of touch, it's a place I choose to be- because I will never seek mediocrity. It's my intention to look up to people. My comfort zone IS intellectual discomfort. I don't ever want to be the smartest one in the room (or in this case on the discussion board.) I seek out people who share wisdom. The definition of wisdom is "knowledge into action". Aside: Here, I learn so much from @Cynique Her words, wisdom and life story are proof positive that black women can rise above any barrier set for us in any era. I hang on every word that she writes because her eloquence in relating her experience is a treasure... You may not know this but it's not @Troy 's academic degrees that make him wise...(whether he exercises it daily -<snark>) - he has complete mind-body control ... Ask Troy about his days as a champion gymnast and swimmer. Whatever Troy puts his mind to he accomplishes... He could actually write the book on "how to operate your earth suit". @Del 's world (and multi-dimensional) view is enough for me to run to the board whenever I see his name pop up. I want to know what he is revealed because I'm sure it will trigger my Aether experience. I can then be reminded that the reality of this world isn't all there is to life. @richardmurray Doesn't comment much on the discussion boards but if you read his works and his profile comments you'll immediately see he exercises his creativity without wondering if it's appreciated. (by the way, yes it is. I marvel out your Je ne sais quoi - you remind me of a world traveler) @harry brown always seems to put into prose highlights of current events that antagonize the black community. I may not like it but I'm challenged by it. And even @Xeon and you Pioneer have the courage to speak the conviction of beliefs without trepidation on this board. Not sure of your waking life since you both hide under the cloak of anonymity here. Still speaking your beliefs is a virtue. But I digress. As you have indicated, since you look for people to prove your point you will find them As long as I look for people to prove my point I will meet them and I do. I don't look for people so I can say "people are average"... I look for people using all their strengths to achieve - so I can move forward with the confidence that anything is possible with this life. I no longer need to see it, though, it's a firmly entrenched belief. The beauty of my life is I've passed on my ability to seek greatness in self and others to my daughters and other young people I have had a chance to mentor. Therefore, I've created a new group of people who seek to find the best in others and in themselves. So, enjoy the world you create while continuing to seek cheer-leading black women and sexual support for black men who choose to wallow in mediocrity. I'll continue to be out of touch and inspire (from the latin word inspirare which means to breathe life into) all the young people I come in contact looking for the best out of life. By the way, my youngest daughter asked her 20-something-year-old-entrepreneurial-no-degree-having-job-creating--six-figure-earning-ready-to-franchise-car repair shops-nationally-friend, if he needed the support of black women (or any woman) to do his thing . He said that's not needed, only the support of the woman he's in a relationship with...and even that's not required. He did say what would make black men great is the support and mentoring of OTHER BLACK MEN. Out of the mouths of babes... Thank goodness he's the future.

@Troy , If you perceived an ongoing conflict in language and delivery, did I miss where you interpreted or explained my comments to Pioneer1, in an attempt to "help" him understand my point?

Exactly, @Cynique Encouragement is different! I will absolutely offer encouragement to a man doing his thing. That is, if I feel he would welcome it. I've found that some men don't want a woman to comment on "potential" but will welcome it on a job well done. @Troy, it appears you had a slight attack of myopic perception . It seems to strike quite a few men who believe women don't understand the topic or the words coming out of their mouth. I'm not sure what triggers that behavior - but I know when it happens on twitter or blogs - women accuse men of "mansplaining". According to the U.S. census, 45 % of black households are married couples. Anyway, I posed this question to my three daughters. Two of my daughters are dating black men and one is single. So far, two gave thumbs down to the idea black women should support "good" black men. One of my daughters dates a young black man who owns a car repair shop in Cincinnati. He's looking to open up a few more. He doesn't have a college degree but owns his property including the repair shop and he also employs other young black men. He is in his 20s... ;;;

First, @Troy English is my first and primary language. For most of my life, my reading comprehension has been in the 99 percentile. I couldn't have survived as a broadcast journalist if I didn't understand what people mean when they speak. Especially people of which I have nothing in common. From white folks in the hollers to black people in the hood to those elected to the U. S. Senate; I've never had a problem understanding what people mean when they speak. I understood exactly what Pioneer was referring to when he talked about "average" men . NOW I hope you understand me. Remaining "average" is a choice. Relegating a group of people to be average because of the reasons you've assigned is a cop-out . Excuses are the tools of the incompetent. If a woman chooses to carry an incompetent man, while making a way for herself then that is her choice. Unfortunately, her actions will only further contribute to that man's impotency and destroy what's left of the black community.

@Pioneer1 The black men I speak of ARE the example of the type of behavior to emulate. Every black man I referred to came from either very modest means; or poverty/ housing projects life. My dad, included, who experienced abject poverty during his formative years. Once upon a time these black men were in the pool of "average" black men, as you put it. They could have remained in that pool of "average". Yet, their strong CHARACTER wouldn't allow it- these black men chose to make a lot with the little they had. These black men matured into adults and left the "average" group of men . They didn't look for women to be their cheerleaders and receptacles for sex. These black men experienced professional and personal success. As I mentioned "cheerleading women who wanted to sex them" was the result but not the cause . There's an order. So when "average" black men find that few women want to support or cheer their mediocrity; that follows the natural order. As Cynique mentioned "cream rises to the top" . High achievement is a choice. Instead of looking for women to be the "average" black man's savior; "average" black men need to put in the work, connect and network with their high achieving black brothers. .

I'll check it out...

Thank you @Cynique , it's message I keep forgetting. Before I drifted off to sleep last night, I remembered that Pioneer1 and I come from different worlds. His world view is foreign to me as mine is to him. This afternoon, it was when I remembered this isn't the first time I've had this conversation. I'm sure it won't be my last I was looking through something I wrote back in 2009 - and it reminded how I had clashed with an "relationship" author we had on our talk show "the relationship playbook" He shared the same perspective as Pioneer1 and at that time, I thought the man was insane. It hadn't dawned on me then that "Blackness is a mosaic." The author said I was rude for not agreeing with his perspective and told my co-host, he should replace me. He did not fully understand my role in bringing that show on the air. Then the author took his show to a wider audience - this time a nationally syndicated talk show. When the author shared his beliefs, “men need to know we are doing a good job," said the author Barbara, a caller, said “Seems like we women have to Support men, even after we Raise them.” The callers raked him over the coals... It was then he learned that his views only appealed to a small cross section of black America. The author got his just deserts and I felt vindicated. It was bittersweet, though, because there's a group of black women out there in serious need of deprogramming. Actually, @Pioneer1, you'd might be surprised to learn that you are the one out of touch. I've only lived in the Atlanta metro for 4 years. Prior to that it was Chicago metro. Before Illinois, I lived in the Ohio Valley where my first job there was for a black man who was West Virginia's Secretary of Tax and Revenue. He was appointed by the WV Governor and also was one of President's George HW Bush's point of lights. He was engaged when I met him to a black woman , an attorney too, who was already busy with her career and didn't have a lot of time to "support" him but he supported her. He got his support from his father and mother - and when his dad passed away he supported his mother, sisters and practically the black community in which he was raised. He and his fiance hired me as the Executive Director of The Learning Center he founded and I helped him with the zoning proposal for the community center he built. He founded the learning center and community center because the majority of the community was made up mostly single moms who didn't have a place for their children to go when they got out of school. He eventually married but didn't need a woman to support him and doing what he thought was necessary to build a thriving black community. Prior to living in the Ohio Valley, I lived in Brooklyn New York where I was born and raised... All I've ever experienced are men, including my dad who held it down for their communities. I could fill a book about the successful black men I know personally - and not one has ever said " they need a woman's support to excel. They just do. Not sure what type of men lean on women but I'm thankful to have missed them.

Hmm, you're describing children not men. I can see a mom supporting her son and giving him a pat on the head when he does well in school. Men, however, support women not the other way around. For the adult men I know and in my life personal goals and achievement are their driving force. But then again, the men I know sit on boards of corporations - they head corporations, they run their own million dollar businesses. Sex isn't something that motivates them nor does "cheerleading" which is probably why they are never in short supply of either... I live in a black community -a manicured lawns, tree-lined street pool and tennis court community ... There are more phds and professionals per capita than the economy can support but it does. And not one man has asked or expected me or any woman here for support -they ask how they can support us, me, and my family included. When I lived in a majority white neighborhood - no man asked for support, they asked how they could support me, my family and they were married but their wives expected nothing less from them. Half the time, I didn't even have to shovel snow ...I walked out of my house and the fathers and sons were shoveling for us - because that's how fathers teach their sons. They support women. So... maybe that's what's missing in other black communities - grown men who don't ask for women to support them ...maybe these other black communities that are struggling need for their black men to grow up. @Xeon, I suspected as much, but I didn't want to assume.

Exactly, because the stand came from within the ranks... Nothing else got people fired up about the maladjusted NFL Prior to Kaep's demonstration, the players were beating the crap out of their wives, girlfriends; they've been excused and exonerated of rape, murders, drug dealing while the game went on ...Now black men have finally awaken because the attack is on someone who looks like them. Well, whatever it takes, I suppose.

@Troy, Will you do a tutorial on how to blog on AALBC.com. Of course, AALBC's blog features an intuitive design but there are features such as the "promote" feature that don't seem to be. For example, the "promote" feature seems like it's WordPress "publicize" feature. WP "publicize" feature allows the end-user to log into their social media accounts to give access for automatic post sharing once the SM box is checked. Now I'm sure if I take my time I could probably figure it out but I want to spend my time writing posts not figuring out how to use the blog platform. This is not a criticism by the way. It's about removing the pain-points for writers who aren't interested in maintaining a platform but are looking for a place to post their thoughts.

And he's a black man I admire! He took a stand (by kneeling of all things) He didn't ask permission nor did he ask for a consensus. He just did what he believed.

@Xeon Yes, that's my question. Do you have an answer? I noticed an alternative but I'd prefer an answer. Why should black women support black men? and just so we're on the same page here's MW definition of support .