richardmurray

Thoughts as I read after the ellipsis. Anything I suggest is just that, a suggestion. And you say, Fuck off if you read my thoughts. I totally agree:) I enjoyed the chapter, thanks for sharing. 

....
Look at Luke Cage's language, so modern. "It's cool cap" good

Good question by Jake the reporter, he would ask that. I don't know about the timing. 
The sentence before. I don't know if you need it. I know you want to display the length of eating time. maybe a different tact. Something like, everybody ate until the gumbo was done. Since Cage mentioned it was hot twice, the manners of the federation folk will settle into that. Maybe you can say, Jake noticed Cage was sitting back , whiping his mouth , satisfied with the gumbo and Jake couldn't resist the question burning in his mind for his readers about the stars.

Why did you have Cage say "WOW" after Jake's question? you don't have to tell me anything. You can say fuck off. but, I wonder. Cause would Cage be wow-ed by such a question? In my mind, at this point, I am not certain.

I don't think Cage would say "It's ok cap, it's a good question". I think he would be more simpler in phrase.  Just "It's ok cap"

Question: Who said "I get it" after Cage explained to Jake how he dealt with the past. In my head I think it is sisqo but you don't state who. No problem, just change it.

Like how you used Cage to reemphasize the father son of jake sisqo and benjamin sisqo.

I like the modulation to the next phase. but instead of the word "soon", perhaps, The bedtime arrived. The word soon gives off the impression of speed, but you started with the evening went on, which gives off slowness.

Kasidy and Benjamin is excellent. 

Holodeck time!! RETRACTION NO I made a mistake as a reader. I assumed it had to be the holodeck, when you said three weeks time. Shame on me. Well done. 

Nice intro to it. RETRACTION Still nice intro and Earth in deep space nine time has that wierd in the past feel to it. Like picards farm, it is odd to modernity. People have all this technology but live in a very comfortable way. They don't aspire to live beyond how they want to live. oh star trek.

I can hear Brock Peters lovely voice:) Note. This is when I realized this wasn't the holodeck, but that was my mistake, not yours.

haha! wise decision.. yes:)

I think Jake would say "We all get it" Benjamin/Joseph comprehend too. Jake would emit that collective comprehension I think

ohh, the ending, you, well done:) 

The chapter goal was for Luke Cage to feel at home to feel he has loving ones, family, in this time. Goal achieved. 

Well done.  

 SOURCE OF FAN FICTION
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13028411/4/LUKE-CAGE-ON-DEEP-SPACE-NINE

A free screenplay
https://www.kobo.com/ebook/the-nyotenda

Did the error from am*zon start when they were not willing to simply spend money on a fantasy world not made before in film or television? I think a greater lesson to all firms exist. Stop trying to use fictional words that have a ready made fanbase. yes, if you get it correct, the growth can be fast and revenue return can be excellent throughout. But, the potential pitfalls are mighty.

One, you have handicapped the directors/thespians/set designers side others in the project with the weight of prior interpretations of the fictional world. The woman playing galadriel in rings of power has to deal with being what the fanbase expects to be kate blanchett's galadriel younger.  The director didn't have the same detail with costume or sets but fans are expecting the scale model lands and crafted armor and pieces that peter jackson set up for lord of the rings. The highest quality the fans are used to in the past becomes the standard in the present. That is a handicap. Since am*zon couldn't get the complete rights they also add another handicap in their limitation to using certain elements of the story. 

Using an unused fantasy world deletes all the handicaps I mentioned.

AMENDMENT: I Argue now, the Tolkien estate , saw this calamity happening and took the money knowing am*zon would fail like this.

Two. fantasy worlds tend to be expensive. The average film is financially a loser, historically. Thus, any venture into a fantasy world will usually be a loser financially. By using a world already represented, the ability to recover from a failed season is harder. Cause the non fans are not along and the fans have left and the weight of the prior interpretations is still on the production.

AMENDMENT: I wonder the accounting assessments to these shows. I want to know how the accountants make the worst case scenario for these better than the worst case for an unvisualized fantasy world? 

A COMPLETE DISASTER, Rings of Power Season 1 OVERVIEW