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I met Bill Cosby on one of my flights. He was one of the most gracious and accommodating passengers I flew with. His personal assistant was a black woman. You may have seen her on his perp walk to and from the court. The man those women identified as a rapist is not the man I met that day. I believe those women. If Cosby told the truth in his deposition - then he didn’t drug them without their knowledge. Sexual Assault is tricky. We women say no, or want to say no but sometimes we feel guilty for putting ourselves in a situation where a man can harm us. It is f-cked up some men are monsters. I was in that situation when I was a teen crushing on a cute boy who was nearly a man. (18 yoa) I thought he was a good boy. He wasn’t. It took another man to keep him from sexually violating me. Thank goodness for “iron sharpening iron.” A man protected me from a monster. I told all the other girls who knew him to stay away from him - I told them he was a predator. I TOLD. I also learned how to use my sexuality to get what I want from men. That’s the trade off for innocence lost or almost lost. BUT I didn’t file charges against him. Do you know my dad was a cop? I could have had all of NYPD on him. BUT I felt ashamed for putting myself in that position to like and trust a predator. This is why some women don’t come forward until 50-11 years later. Then it’s too late. I believe the PA Supreme Court Justices got it right. I also believe we must teach boys not to rape.

This is an editorial letter from Toni Morrison to Lucille Clifton. The hand written notes are Clifton's. To a girl with a hammer all the world is a nail.

I hear you Mel. Your statements plus @Pioneer1's statements about women relating stories about dealing with rape and "rapey" men is something I've experienced as well. Again the need to teach people not to rape each other, in my mind, is tantamount to the need to teach people not to murder or enslave each other. Obviously, given our collective behavior as a species, we need to teach each our youngins not to rape, murder, and enslave each other. Some suggest religion is what we need to teach our children these lessons. Whatever the tool is, it needs to be taught, and more importantly we need to punish folks who transgress. The wealthy and famous must be held accountable as well.

Many people were talking about these incidents happened back in the 70s, but I found out that atleast one of the incidents happened as late as 2004. Del I didn't realize how many women were victims of sexual assault until I got older and older and started relating to women in a LESS physical way and in a more intellectual way in terms of conversation and genuine platonic friendships. We'd be driving down a highway or sitting in a coffee shop and women will talk about their early experiences of being violated as casually as talking about the trees outside or the weather. Almost no emotion. It was slightly shocking and a bit confusing that they weren't breaking down when they'd tell me some of this shit they experienced. Mel The encounter you shared reminds me of the old saying, "The only person who can stop a BAD guy with a gun is a GOOD guy with a gun". It took a good man to stop a bad one. Not only should we teach boys not to rape, but we should punish them appropriately WHEN they rape or sexually assault someone. You can teach and talk to some people until you're blue in the face but wouldn't impact their behavior ONE BIT if they don't think there will be any negative consequences to their offense. It'll go in one ear and right out the other. CORPORAL PUNISHMENT for physical crimes like assault, rape, armed robbery, ect...will make a young thug think twice or maybe three or four times before they decide to violate someone.

The arguments in the Black community have already started. One side says Cosby was a victim of racism who should have never been incarcerated in the first place and the women were just trying to grab a bag from him The other side says Cosby was a rapist who should have been punished for his crimes a long time ago and LATE justice is better than NO justice. Back and forth...back and forth. Issues like this illustrate the importance of CRITICAL THINKING. Just being one dimensional and seeing things only in Black and White is one of the reasons the AfroAmerican community ends up further divided...especially when it comes to issues like this. I may be wrong but I believe Dr. Cosby pretty much ADMITTED that he drugged atleast some of the women before his sexual encounters. So their ability to resist was indeed compromised. I believe that crimes were indeed committed although I'm not sure what the exact punishment should be. But I also believe he was used as a "fall guy" for the Me Too movement who wanted to see predatory men get locked up and the Establishment didn't want to prosecute and imprison their own...so just focus on making a public example of the Black offenders as usual. It doesn't justify what he did, but it puts it in perspective. However my biggest take away from this situation is that we as Black men need to be more sensitive to OTHER demographics, especially women. We know how offended we get when it comes to racism and can smell insincerity and injustice a mile a way when it comes from Caucasians. We need to understand that most women are the same way when it comes to sexism. Sexism and even misogyny (which was almost unheard of among traditionally mother-loving Black men) has been increasing in many Black circles over the past 40 years and especially the past couple years thanks to social media platforms encouraging it. I mentioned Tommy Sotomayor and Kevin Samuels in another thread but they are just a few of those responsible for spreading this hatred. Many others exist and are gaining popularity. A lot of Black men are being programmed to literally HATE Black women and blame all of the ills of the community on them. Many of the victims of this sexist and irrational programing themselves are NOT critical thinkers. Many are one dimensional in their thinking due either to youth and immaturity or just poor intellectual abilities....and are being manipulated into being anti-woman and especially anti-Black woman. You see this on BOTH sides to various degrees but the anti-Black man attitudes that exist in some circles among Black women have existed at basically the same rate for atleast 50 years, it doesn't seem to be "growing" like the anti-Black woman attitudes. How do we counter this and heal our community? As I said earlier I think Black men need to be more sensitive and considerate of other demographics. A lot of brothers are saying and are of the beliefs that why should they care about other people when no one cares about them, but I remind them that if they looked back in their life at the few people who DID care about them and showed them any love...it was mostly likely a Black female as opposed other demographics. But more importantly I think CRITIAL THINKING is one of the solutions and we need to teach our people from youth what it is and HOW to best engage in it because I think the sooner you learn how to think analytically the less likely you are to be manipulated and used for other people's diabolical plans.

I guess almost everyone's heard the news huh...lol. I've come to appreciate and respect the perspective of the opposite sex over the years. Part of me is very glad that an 80 something year old Black man who is blind and has other health problems doesn't have to suffer behind bars anymore.....however another part of me wonders how women and especially women who have been victims of sexual assault feel. I'm not a woman and I've never been a victim (or perpetrator for the record) of sexual assault so I don't know if it's my place to celebrate or say he shouldn't have been locked up to begin with. I'd love to not only hear the perspectives of @Chevdove @Mel Hopkins & @Cynique on this issue but also what they've heard of any female friends/family they know who may have been victims of sexual assault may feel about this.

Pioneer pick any five women you know and ask them. Only one won't have a sexual assault story.