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Hey Fam! I shared my heartbreak with all of you; now here is my joy! Mom, my twin daughters' father, my oldest daughter, Cheyenne's (my daughter who passed away) childhood bestie, is in the family photo with us. I love her so much, and me sitting next to my oldest twin daughter! My daughter married the love of her life in August, and we all got to share in their transformative weekend celebration. Here's me getting ready for the wedding and checking my rearview . Yes, this is a very current photo!! And that's my gorgeous mom!!! Yep, she's in her 80s!!!

@Delano: Read Mel's "essay" that proceeded pioneer's comments. She had some interesting things to say!

I knew the Black Panthers were a powerful movement when I learned they took care of the community in ways that embarrassed the government. Today, we need more of that ingenuity. Protesting in the age of smartphones and surveillance will only work against the protestors and aid those who control surveillance equipment. We have to create programs like the Black Panthers did and follow through with them. One of the many ways ICE could enter these dwellings is because the residents are renters, and impoverished renters at that. The first thing we need to do is develop cooperative housing where residents have ownership, even if it's in small shares that come with affordable payments.

Thank you for sharing. Lovely photos, I really like the last one. You have a really naughty elf look, and your Moms has that no you didn't look.

Every group of people on the planet seems to have folks who do whatever it takes to blend into the dominant society here in the US. European white folks put their ethnicity aside in order to reinforce the white population here in the US. White folks no longer identify themselves as [insert ethnicity here]-Americans. They are just Americans. Black folks from Africa and the Caribbean also lighten themselves with make-up. If they're too dark to hide it...they'll just conform to whiteness. Begs the question is it considered self-hatred when folks deny their ethnicity.

Nobody's saying it's in our blood not to marry. Just pointing out that neither Common nor Drake put a ring on Serena's finger. As we're pointing out...neither of them married her for whatever reason. The white dude came along and did it. Janet Jackson dated Jermaine Leprechaun Dupri for years. No wedding bells. The rich sand n8gglet married and gave her a child. Penny, er, Janet was walking around in the Middle East for a few years wearing a burka before they divorced and she came back to America richer than before she left. False equivalence bro. Regardless of color, humans belong to the same species. That's why they can procreate. If/when a Black woman runs to the jungle looking for a real ape and not a n8gglet who looks like one...that's a problem.

@Mel HopkinsGlad to get your input on this subject. I wish Chevdov would also contribute her opinions. Of course arguing with pioneer is an exercise in futility. Meglo-maniac that he is, he wants to make the world over in his image, and he views things through a warped lens. Tsk-tsk.

@Mel HopkinsI apologize for not being more verbal in my response to your latest post. It really is gratifying to see you happy again and I wish you and the newyweds all the best! Everybody looks great!

....yes, nice pictures. Your 80-something year old mother isn't bad looking either! Hey Mel, I have an idea If she's not seeing anybody..... Why don't you, me, ProfD, and Mama-Mel Hopkins....all meet up and go on a double date! I'm sure Mama Mel would find ProfD interesting! I'm sure he's a GREAT conversationalist.....LOL. PS....tell your White ex to take his hand off of her shoulder! We don't play that around here.

NO!

Now we know what kind of person "begrudges Serena her happiness". The usual opinionated blather and imagined scenarios, and obsessive, insecure attacks on white males and condescending assumptions about women. Put a sock in it! @Serena: kudos to you for getting your life in order. You go, Girl! Serena and her handsome 6'5" millionaire husband.

Apparently, after a series of failed relationships, Serena Willians has finally found happiness. What does it say about a person who begrudges her this, and tries to steal her joy? Venus Williams just recently got engaged to the successful millionaire she is pictured with below.

Right. Even during the Civil Rights movement Black folks weren't unified monolithically. As @richardmurray pointed out, Black folks have to build unity with like-minded folks...their tribe.

@ProfD And all the middle easterners black gold has the blood of middle easterners on it shed by other middle easterners. I support all your points to nonviolent financial growth. but I have to say, whites whether they be arab/asian/latino/african/male/female/christian/muslim/ or others have intentionally killed each other for financial gain. The gold rush, the oil rush, the manifest destiny land grabs, prohibition era liquor fortunes, first stock market era, all had mostly white people killing white people while total complicity by law enforcement, once the first people/native americans were eliminated for the land if needed. One thing I rarely read or hear black people say, especially in the american continent, is that we in modernity don't have that strong a heritage of murder for financial gain. I argue with no true proof, only personal experience or views that most black on black financial crimes happen today than ever before. Whereas for whites they killed each other in the near past way more than today for fiscal wealth. Black people in the usa at the least were enslaved and financially penniless permanently while whites were killing each other for land or oil or gold or liquor. So Black people have started our internal wars over money in the 1900s. Consider madam cj walker was the wealthiest black person in the usa, lived in Urban harlem, think on that. She was blocks from poor black people. She wasn't in a scenario like downtown manhattan's gilded age where rich people had houses lined up next to each other. If you consider black people in the usa started to be attested by whites as financially wealthy in the 1900s then based on usa history with the european colonies, the first phase of usa history, starting in the 1500s whites [european/asian/latin/male/female/arab/muslim/christian/ or other] had four hundred years to become financially wealthy by any means necessary while blacks have only been allowed to become financially wealthy within the law from in the 1900s. That is a variance. And, to @Pioneer1 initial point, the culture of white latin americans trying to become pure white stems from the simple fact that unlike the english european colonies that brought white women along, the spanish/french/portuguese colonies were overhwhelmingly male, so latin american whiteness is primarily mestizo, the spawn of a white european and an indios female , indios being first people/native american. It is minority mulatto, the spawn of a white european and a black african woman. Mestizo or mulatto children were and are taught in the castas of latin america or its modern derivatives that whiteness could be achieved through a mating structure. Even though genetic lineage doesn't matter how many matings are forced, a human beings lineage is never deleted. so, the mating concept is perpetual because it's goal can never be achieved, but its goal is always emphasized. Now that the neutral truth or history is out of the way, to the positive I like your nonviolent financial calls. They each have positive value. I will mention warnings alongside the positives. 1) owning our talents and abilities, intellectual property In modernity with the internet, owning your creativity is huge. I don't know the numbers but any artists knows , intellectual property theft in various fashions is rampant today, rampant. So I concur to this as a modern importance. It was important in the past, but with the modern internet, the ability to make profit off of intellectual property theft is much quicker than the past. My warning is, the law around intellectual property is really messy. It isn't an accident that the fiscal wealthiest media firms spend so much money or effort redesigning characters so that they can gain copyright on a newer version. Or that many of said firms don't release media that has public domain characters , cause the ability to legally deny others to profit is... a task, and since most court cases end up settling out of court, well, the expense is to high. 2) using a Black bank I want to be more specific, not a black bank. but a Black Credit Union. I have nothing against Black Banks but credit unions are easier to start and more focused in their design. Credit Unions will allow financially applicable segments of the black community to have a bank for themselves. When I look at the fiscal wealthiest black community in any city in the usa, that being los angeles, they should have a credit union for themselves and to my knowledge they do not. I assume similar for the atlanta black fiscal elite. The black fiscal elite in new york city to be blunt, should have it as well. But, I rather black people of wealth in small regions make credit unions and then new black money can join whenever they can. Financially poor black people can't afford the extra fees or limitations of small banks, especially in context with pensions or similar financial tools. 3) supporting Black businesses As someone whose household members have always supported black owned businesses, I do support, buying black. But, I do think black people need to imagine how to own their own businesses moreso. From Jacobs to Famous to Lighthouse to Make My Cake to Jumbo to Charlie's to King Barka to various laundromats or hair salons , multiple Black businesses exist in Harlem that have thrived for decades to recently opened. But New York City proves starting a firm requires more thought. I have witnessed multiple chinese owned restaurants fall in recent years, but I also recognized one chinese restaurant survive and thrive well. why? The one that thrived well is near columbia universty and was getting tons of asian customers even when i was a kid. My point is,the black dance school , liquor gallery, all failed. The black architect seems to be stable. But NYC is hard. Some business will never honestly work in NYC unless the average wealth increases at a rate above the average in the usa or the cost of living decreases at a rate below the average in the usa. So support black businesses but I rather hope black businesses focus on being efficient. instead of a dance school maybe you can operate in a school. instead of a gallery maybe you can get a church to be the host of a gallery and your wine, harlem has many black churches that do nothing most of every day, that are locked up or gated. I know churches members have issues with certain activities but be a business person and make it work. Contracts, figure it out. Jacobs https://www.jacobrestaurant.com/jacob-soulfood-restaurant-locations.php Famous https://www.famousfishmarketnyc.com/ Lighthouse https://www.lighthousefishmarket.com/ Makemycake https://www.makemycake.com/ Jumbo https://www.sugarhilljumbos.com/ Charlie's https://www.charlespanfriedchicken.com/locations King Barka - don't hate, websites cost money https://www.restaurantji.com/ny/new-york/king-barka-/ 4) buying sports franchises Not for me. In a soccer community elsewhere members were talking about owning a sports team and if I was a multi billionaire (meaning I have three hundred billion dollars in a bank account, not including stock evaluations/bonds/partial investments in firms or dividends from investments or stock) I wouldn't invest one penny in sports clubs. I have said it in this forum before. I am not sold on sports franchises. The business model for sports franchises is simple. You buy a franchise and over time the speculators, the people who see, continually state the value of the franchise is worth more, based on the increased ad revenue and real estate value of the club. It is the NFL model, which is applied to all sports today. But here is the problem. In the EPL, english premier league, the pandemic caused a catastrophic stop of the epl, where franchises had to take out ten million dollars a week or more, let alone the financial money pit of other teams. The problem with sports franchises is any investment in them has to assume, a financially positive environment, where sponsors will be able to pay increasing fees, fans will be able to buy increasingly expensive content, the real estate value with grow. But I can't assume a financially positive environment will exist for any firm all the time, and sports franchises in negative financial environments are some of the worst properties to own. If anything, the best time to buy or start a sports franchise is when the economy is at its lowest, because you are buying or starting on the cheap and you should be able to ride the bad times. The example is the NY Giants, the white family who owns them were bookkeepers, they bought the giants for a hundred dollars or thousand dollars in bad times. so... buy sports franchise , not for me, not now , maybe if the shutdown continues for three years, all the unpaid rents of federal workers and utility bills and etcetera may shake the market enough to cause problems. Al the most profitable sports teams have situations that matter. The yankees, Real madrid have a legacy that requires time + success. The New York Knicks or rangers have an excellent location far better than most including the yankees. Like every NFL team, MAnchester United and every other epl team have a sponsorship deal that is totally disconnected to athletic merit. But is a closed system to new clubs for the most part. Yes, the saudis now own newcastle united, the qataris own paris saint germain, the emirates own manchester city and nyfc, redbull own various sporting enterprises. But the oil lords invest because they want to keep their currency low. If the oil lords don't spend they accumulate so much wealth their currency will have to rise in value which will only help the usa as most countries currencies are pegged to the dollar. This is why during the covid 19 they were the only set of countries looking to spend, they had the money to spend and didn't want their currencies to skyrocket as other economies were falling during the covid 19. As for redbull, well, they have basically found a way to use the NFL model in all sports. They use specualtion and marketing to get an advertising industry to finance their ventures which allows them to skim off the top and market manipulate. 5) investing in land and real estate rough, as someone who was born and raised in NEw York City, land and real estate seem very wise long term BUT during the covid 19, many small business failed which meant many offices struggled. It is only because the city/state/federal government provided a bunch of financial crutches that the real estate industry didn't implode. But, again, that is bad fiscal capitalism. Based on revenue in my lifetime, all the banks in the usa should had closed permanently, all the investment houses in the usa should had closed permanently, all but the ford motor company should be around as car manufacturers (I will never forget how ford wanted to not get the government aid but the government demanded they get aid, ), all the airlines in the usa should had closed permanently,most food production firms should had closed permanently, most real estate properties in nyc should had been bought by the city government way under market value for inability to pay debts. Too often in the usa, the federal/state/city governments provide welfare to failing businesses, which is dysfunctional. People complain about unemployed people getting welfare but welfare to the unemployed serves the function of maintaining a certain quality of life for the unemployed, which helps peace amongst the masses. But welfare to firms spits at the important function of being able to fail in free market capitalism. When a firm fails that means it was mismanaged. Every firm in the usa in my lifetime who was given welfare to survive did it to itself. AT&T sold Warner bros under market value to the discovery channel because it was unprofitable. It was a failure. AT&T demanded discovery channel accept all the warner bros debt, so AT&T had clean books with all of its profitable branches. The mergers of firms isn't because firms are making money, they merge because they are failing. The banks who take all races of peoples homes every day or treat Blacks or First peoples/native americans negatively compared to white customers crawled and begged in washington d.c. in their tailored suits far more sinfully in my mind than any "shaniqua" in an urban black neighborhood to the welfare office. So not for me. If you want to invest in land or real estate go ahead, but if you don't have a wise way to turn that land or real estate into revenue then your playing the common game today in the usa of tax breaks and tax liens and false speculations and overall market gambles that... not for me. 6) buying stocks and bonds I always think of that white man standing with the car. The stock market craches don't include the bitcoin crashes, which they should cause it is the same situation. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash When anyone invest in a trading environment the key isn't their investment, the key is when they pull out. I recall in New York city, many bitcoin billionaires who professed in local media, NY Times and Wall Street Journal, how they don't need money, they have bits, they are living it up... and then some time later, they looked like a modern variant of the man above or below:) in their case, holding a mop or holding a sign by themselves. Black people invested in the freedman's bank, that frederick douglass spoke for... black people of the late 1800s in the usa , most of DOSers who had any money lost all their money in the implosion of the freedman bank. So invest? yeah ok. But.. people look at some pension funds and say you see, invest. but many and i argue most pension funds in the usa went belly up. If you are so inclined only invest in stocks or bonds, perishable revenue or income. bitcoin crashes https://www.webopedia.com/crypto/learn/biggest-bitcoin-crashes/ someone assessed the grey scale and made a color version. ahh chrysler, internals are worthless, but the cabin, nice:) IN CONCLUSION Of the six, I think 2 with adjustment +3 with focus have the best value overall. 1 has legal issues which are mighty. 4+5+6 are all true gambles. They each require a situation or environment which is not certain. Black Credit Union, yeah, I like that idea. focused, small, relies on true financial quality. gives great leeway once you pay the legal fees, protects from operations of other or larger banks. More black people own business in the usa today than ever before , holistically. But, too many black businesses fail in the usa as well, you have to think more on the financial reality of the industry you are in. It can't be village save me.

This is a powerful suggestion! Especially one that any of us can do and be successful! Thank you! That is, instead of, for example, getting off scot-free after your small business steals millions of dollars from Medicaid/Medicare. And then, of course, freeing you up to run for governor and U.S. Senate and winning in the state of Florida. But I digress

True. Most wealth has been stolen. However, the Middle Easterners have managed to turn black gold aka oil into a vast amount of wealth. Black folks can start building wealth as a group by: 1) owning our talents and abilities, intellectual property 2) using a Black bank 3) supporting Black businesses 4) buying sports franchises 5) investing in land and real estate 6) buying stocks and bonds Putting money to work is the best way to generate wealth in the absence of having natural resources to sell. As @richardmurray has taught, Black folks are many tribes. The ship of group unity has probably sailed.

I haven't seen it but reads like the Super Moon dropped down and got its eagle on over your backyard.

A former client and now good friend. Gave me a reading and said not to give up hope. I also feel a certain dissolution. It is the first time in life where I don't have a plan or a goal. What I am seeing is a type of death to release from my old self and they accompanying painful losses. I enjoyed the photos. However it took me a couple of days to find the words. I feel as though I am stripping myself and what remains is what's truly of value. I feel you twin Thank you I hadn't seen the post.

Serena is charming and it seems to me that her husband dotes over her and gives her the respect that she deserves. When Kendrick Lamar ask her to support his efforts, she came running--literally! She has shown her support for her people. Leave her alone!

Well, pioneer (who can't beget a family) has checked in and done his thing. The same ol, same ol. The usual comments with sexual innuendo and, of course, the stock photos of people who have nothing to do with who he's talking about. Sorry, but I only give his attempt one star.* He voided the scenario he came up with in his first attempt at being funny. @Mel be sure to check out Chevdov's comments that were posted at the same time I posted this.

BEAUTIFUL!!! You are so pretty. Your Mom is gorgeous and I can see the resemblance. The wedding pictures are so lovely.

YES!!! I agree, and understand why, but I've yet to come up with the how? Most people who are wealthy have borrowed and stolen from the future of others.

I use it for that exact reason. I just prompted a chat on how to provide clean water for a community that only has sewage backups, and the government has just taken away their grant because of "DEI". ChatGPT provided me with actionable solutions, including how to address laws that prevent ordinary citizens from tackling the problem when the government puts up roadblocks. *** Chat GPT said: Treat the problem like a high-stakes community project: minimize legal risk, build legitimacy, and move fast with pilots that are lawful, visible, and persuasive. Below is a practical, lawful playbook you can use to get clean water in your community while protecting yourself and your volunteers. 1) Immediate refusal of the illegal route Don’t undertake actions that: violate health/safety codes, tamper with sewage infrastructure, perform unpermitted construction in waterways, or create public hazards. Those acts expose you to criminal and civil liability and endanger people. 2) High-level strategy (mindset) Think like a scrappy micro-operator who: designs small, replicable pilots that prove solutions work, reduces legal/financial exposure up front, documents everything (photos, water tests, receipts, volunteer logs), partners with credible institutions (health dept, university, nonprofit), uses visibility to generate political pressure for system-level change. 3) Practical step-by-step plan Assess & document the problem (2–4 weeks) Collect photos, time/date stamps, testimonies from residents. Get simple water tests (bacterial and basic chemistry) — local health department or university extension can often help or direct you to accredited labs. SMART example: “Collect 30 household water samples and 20 resident testimonies by Nov 1.” Map stakeholders & legal landscape (1–2 weeks) Who owns the sewer systems, utilities, or storm drains? City, county, private utility? Which agency enforces water quality? (Health department, EPA/state agency.) Identify allies: neighborhood association, churches, school, local university, watershed groups, community health clinics. Design a low-risk pilot (4–8 weeks) Options (lawful, immediate relief + demonstration value): Community water station (bottled or filtered) in a public, permitted space. Point-of-use home filtration voucher program (buy certified filters and distribute with instructions). Temporary rainwater harvesting for non-potable uses (with proper signage and permits). Each pilot should have measurable outcomes (e.g., “Provide safe drinking water to 200 people/week; show lab-confirmed reduction in E. coli in 90% of distributed samples”). Legal protections & structure before operating Form an entity (a nonprofit or an LLC) to separate personal liability from project assets. Purchase insurance: general liability (covers bodily injury/property damage), product liability (if you distribute hardware/filters), and directors/officers (if you run a nonprofit). If you have volunteers, confirm Volunteer Liability coverage or use waivers where lawful. Get permits when needed (temporary events, signage, modifications to public right-of-way). Consult a local attorney for project-specific counsel — many law schools offer pro bono clinics. Launch pilot with partners & document impact (8–12 weeks) Partner with a trusted local org (church, school, clinic) to host the pilot. Publicize: press release, neighborhood socials, local reporters. Collect data: usage numbers, lab results, testimonials, cost per household. Scale, fund, and pressure for systemic change Use documented pilot results to apply for grants, municipal funding, or crowdsource donations. Present findings to the city/county with a clear ask (repair schedule, budget, policy change). If government inaction continues, use civic tools: public records requests, city council hearings, petitions, and coalition building. Legal enforcement routes (e.g., citizen complaints to regulatory agencies) can be powerful — consult counsel. 4) Risk mitigation specifics Insurance: shop for general liability and product liability; nonprofits often get discounted policies. Ask about volunteer liability and event insurance. Waivers & signage: have clear, plain-language signage and intake forms; do not rely solely on waivers to avoid negligence claims — they help but don’t eliminate risk. Permits: always check local codes before modifying streets, storm drains, or public infrastructure. Even “helpful” repairs done without permission can trigger fines and removal. Recordkeeping: keep receipts, vendor contracts, volunteer logs, and test results. This builds credibility and legal defense. 5) Technical quick wins you can pursue lawfully Distribute NSF/ANSI-certified point-of-use filters and train households on maintenance. Repair or replace household plumbing fixtures that cause contamination (privately funded). Deploy green infrastructure pilot(s): bioswales, rain gardens, permeable pavement demonstrations (with permits). These reduce sewage runoff into drinking sources. Launch community education on septic maintenance, proper disposal, and pollution prevention. 6) Power moves that shift the system Get credible third-party testing and publish results. Nothing shames a municipality more than independent lab data showing contamination. Mobilize a broad coalition (schools, faith groups, parents). When the issue affects children, public pressure accelerates policy response. File targeted public-records requests and use them in media and council hearings. Offer the municipality an “easy win” — propose a funded pilot they can co-brand and adopt. 7) When civil disobedience becomes relevant Civil disobedience has a long role in social change, but it’s risky and requires willingness to accept legal consequences. If you’re considering that route, consult experienced organizers and legal counsel first and plan for bail funds and legal defense. Quick checklist you can use now Take 20 photos of the runoff/contamination with timestamps. Contact local health dept to ask about water testing. Identify 3 community partners (church, school, neighborhood assoc.). Draft a 1-page pilot plan with measurable goals and budget. Look into entity formation and call one insurance broker for a quote. I ended the prompt here because it was a hypothetical situation. So many people think advocacy is doing something but I wanted to show a movement requires actionable goals and measurable results.

The bigger problem is that some people will say and/or do anything to get what they want. Deciphering the motivations of another person and balancing it with one's own needs, wants and desires is the slippery slope in the negotiations.

I tuned into this thread, and I feel a sense of sadness. I'll go back and read, and it just might be me, but from the few entries I've read, it feels as if each writer is in the phase of "slipping into nothingness" - that's not what is sad, though. It is as if the words written mean that no one wants to let go and venture into nothingness to see what lies on the other side. I know that feeling too, because for over three consecutive nights, I dreamed that I lost my identity and worked tirelessly to retrieve it to no avail. I kept asking everyone if they had it or had seen it. I think I was looking for certainty, for the people and signs to define me or my circumstances. In the dream, I didn't realize what I was looking for; I was actually manifesting. But that is the nature of this universe: "Seek ye shall find," or what you're seeking is seeking you." Still, I kept saying, "I lost my identity." ...Now, I'm on the other side of 'identity' loss, and I'm into the unknown, moving through with nothing but being present in the moment with "feeling." Before the dream, I think I was angry, feeling that it was rude for people to continue telling me, "Cheyenne is still with us." I was offended because I thought, "Let her be where she wants to be." It is selfish of us to believe that she'd want to spend eternity looking over us, while we are in this dimension living our lives... wtf. Then I reflected on that dream - and realized in that dream I wasn't here, I was with random people in some random place (s). Even now, I'm connecting with others spiritually, whether I know them or not. I'm also connecting and watching over all my daughters. Case in point, my oldest daughter left her phone in the car. A few weeks before, I kept feeling, "My daughter is going to lose her phone." She did, but it was in her friend's car. She was able to retrieve it. To see this, I had to be in the future —and in New York. The West has a term for this: déjà rêvé. I saw something similar with Cheyenne, but I got it confused with her actual life. I kept feeling that she was "under the gun." And I would check in on her, but I didn't mention it because she was an actual gun owner who went to the range for practice shooting. I rarely tell my daughters what I see in their lives, but Cheyenne always felt a physical presence of a spirit. Now I wonder if it was me hovering in her space. I say all this to share: "We exist everywhere and can step into any version of ourselves at any time." The only thing that keeps us anchored is "identity."

I know you're right because I've MADE friends that started off as alliances with mutual interests! I've also had a few sexual relationships that began the same way. The bottom line is HONESTY All parties involved being honest about what they want and expect without ulterior motives.

Well let me HURRY UP and run along.... Cuz I heard that anytime a man is around YOU longer than 5 minutes, you start "grasping" at something ELSE. And it ain't straws....lol. "Lawd..... I'm glad I took my wig off."

I honestly am glad to hear (read...lol) this. This is what I call Black success. I'll also repeat that I'm glad your daughter chose to marry and spend her life with a Black man, especially a successful one. When people ask me do I consider mixed children "Black" or part of the AfroAmerican community, I say it often depends on who they choose to pro-create with or marry. You may not be able to help who your parents were (some believe you chose them but...that's a different topic...lol), but you can choose who you decide to align yourself with. I know you're from the New York area, not sure where you raised your daughters but was that downtown Chicago where that picture was taken? That looks like the Sears Tower in the background.

I was singing in "Stephanie Mills," but you are correct, I also like Faith Evans! Happy Birthday @aka Contrarian Thank you! I'm much better. I'm glad they went ahead with the wedding; it had a way of allowing us a weekend filled with Joy! Of course, I'm missing my Cheyenne. So, when fall arrived, I planted wildflowers.

Wait a minute...... And the title of this thread is called "Missing You" Either this is a coincidence or somebody is a Faith Evans fan....lol.

Those dudes married their wives before they became successful. Dr. Dre didn't marry his 1st baby mama or a few of the Black women he dated including Miche'le. Dr. Dre eventually married a woman who could pass for white. Suge Knight claims Dr. Dre said he himself wanted to be white. Of course, Suge couldn't help him there. No woman wants to kiss a bunch of frogs hoping one of them puts a ring on her finger. Common and Drake and whoever else she dated could have left a bad taste in her mouth. People do not have to justify who they choose to bun up with or bang or marry. Black men certainly aren't in a position to be judge or jury either. Self-hate is very real. But, I don't believe that is the case with most Black folks who choose to kick it with non-Black folks.

Oops. Didn't know you were gonna play that trump card. The question is are those Black men willing to commit and put a ring on it and start a family. As sista @Mel Hopkins pointed out both Common and Drake are still single. Although he's with beautiful sista Jennifer Hudson now, Common has been labelled a serial dater. He hasn't married any of the women he's dated. So, if the Black man isn't willing to settle down and the Black woman has dated a few of them, she might start looking elsewhere. Black men have to do a better job of locking it down with them rings and things if they really want to hold on to that Black woman.

Ahhhh man..... Lol.... Mel why did you have to go ahead and post those lovely pictures???? You know how jealous "you know who" is, around here! You know how "you know who" likes to be the center of my/male attention around here! Now you're going to sit up there with a smile on your face and post some pictures of yourself??? ....with some silky soft shoulders???? Shiiiiiit, you MIGHT have just made yourself an enemy....lol. Mel those were truly beautiful pictures. I'm not just talking about you and your family but seeing all of those attractive well groomed Black folks dressed up and acting in concert for your daughter's wedding is phenomenal. It's something that you don't see much in the AfroAmerican community now a days and it's very much welcomed. I really mean that. I'm also glad that your mixed daughter chose a handsome intelligent looking Black man. Judging by how he's standing and looking....I'd say he either has his own business or WILL have one soon. He has that determined look in his eyes.

Right. She was already trending towards a white guy.

Brotha @ProfD Thank you! I finally got a son! And they're magical! I felt like singing "I never knew love like this before" because it is inspiring to see them together. They lift each other up!

Sista @Mel Hopkins congrats to your daughter, son-in-law, you and your family on the milestone of a wedding. Both you and your mom are living proof that Black doesn't crack. I wish the newlyweds a great life together.

I will "go right ahead", using MY scenarios, not YOURS. Blah, Blah, BooHoo. Wipe your tears and stop blubbering because The "Kept" black woman and her white "Sugar Daddy" were not a dynamic of slavery times, Dummy! These mutually consenting liaisons, usually between a well-off older white man and "fancy" black female, ( the original side piece) came about in the years after slavery. Get your shit straight. Broaden your knowledge of black culture which you think you're such an expert on. The point is, we cannot assume, as you do, that all black women always hated all white men. It just depended on the circumstances then - as it does now, something your obstinate psyche is unable to process because you are in the throes of cognitive dissonance. Inasmuch as nobody appointed you arbitrator of how black people are supposed to look, unlike you, I will let people decide for themsleves who they find appealing and direct the women to check out "Beyond the Gates", the black soap opera on CBS, that daily serves up a smorgesborg of fine black men! I think movie star Michael B. Jordan is who a lot of young black women currently go for. Sterling K. Brown, Morris Chesnut, Tyrese, and LaKeith Stanfield are also "hot". You're welcome, Ladies.

Sure, she had choices. She could've stayed in France or ran away or killed herself. Just to name a few things. At some point, it has to be consensual especially when babies kept popping out. I doubt those interracial relationships were down south up to the Mason-Dixon line. The white racists didn't play those games. Former boxing champ Jack Johnson had his way with white women. It led to riots and fines and prison time for him. In 1959, married couple Richard and Mildred Loving were convicted of breaking the law in Virginia. In1967, the Supreme Court ruled that laws banning interracial marriages were unconstitutional. According to history, Thomas Jefferson seemed to treat Sally Hemings very well. Her bedroom was in Monticello. Not slave quarters. Sally Hemings could pass for a white woman. The only reason Jefferson probably didn't marry Hemings is because he promised his 1st wife Martha as she was dying that he would never remarry. Although classified as slaves, Hemings and their children lived a relatively good life at Monticello. The offspring were taught trades and they were freed upon turning 21 years old. The Jefferson-Hemings children did well as adults. They Blended into white society. The sons married white and Black wives. They produced mixed race grand children. Just laying out an example of despite how it started, Black women could have been fine with interracial relationships hundreds of years ago.

The. Racist. White. Are. Trying. To Have. A. Race. War. ....Black. People. Missing. Some. Found. Alive. ,Some. Found. Dead. .....Where. Is. Black. Lives. Matter. ? Some. Black. Communities. Have. Black. Gun. Clubs. And. Black. Militia. .Every. Black. Community. Should. Have. Black. Gun. Clubs. Black. Militia. Groups. ....To. Protect. Black. Communities. .....The. Human. Trash. In. The. White. House. And. His. Street. Trash. Thugs. Trying. To. Have. A. Race. War. With. Black. People. .....

It's not can't it's won't. It doesn't effect them so it's not a priority. You can't take a bottle of shampoo on a plane after 9/11. We are not important neither are other people's children

A rich, successful woman doesn't *need* a man to take care of her. As a result, she doesn't have to cater to him on any level (mental, physical, emotional). Successful and/or rich women have a harder time finding a man who 1) doesn't feel threatened by her status and 2) isn't trying to control her. Those women have different needs beyond the physical. They can find healthy men by the dozen. That's easy. Finding a man worth spending their time and life with who adds to their happiness can be a challenge for rich, successful women. No matter how much money a woman has, there are men who will never see or treat her as an equal or better. That will present problems.

Only a fool looks for logic in chambers in the human heart

'Just finished watching the local news to get the latest on the ICE demonstration rockin my town. Things have really escalated. Police from all the surrounding towns on the scene as well as state troopers. iCE agents clubbing and dragging demonstrators who are growing in numbers. Traffic tied up and being re-directed, the Mayor fumimg and saying she wants these goons gone! It's unclear why and how they just showed up and opened a facility and started arresting people! The latest casuality is a fast food Tamale place that has been raided and closed down, its owners taken into custody. UNBELIEVABLE! Oh, well. At least Illinois beat USC in a close game. 24 to 21 Let's go BEARS.

Yep. That's her dude. If it is any consolation to the brothas, Serena's husband was already rich before she married him. Made his bread in the tech industry. Serena is not being fleeced out of her fortune. My question is when is he going to hit the gym with her.

RFK jr.'s own family believes he's a nut-job. He's had health issues in the past and a condition that rendered his voice marbalized. Some folks think there was or is a worm in RFK jr.'s brain. That would explain a lot considering how he thinks. Nonetheless, POTUS OJ has put RFK Jr. in charge of MAHA (Make America Healthy Again). Americans have to put up with this health foolishness for a few more years or until RFK jr. gets himself fired.

Kennedy said that there is no vaccine that is not harmful to people?! I don’t understand what his motivation is. I can only assume he truly believes what he’s saying and believes he’s doing the right thing. The only alternative is that he’s evil and wants to see a lot of people suffer and die unnecessarily The financial motive I’ve heard doesn’t make any sense. There are a lot of ways of making money without contributing to the deaths of innocent, helpless people. I hope he gets measles and spreads it amongst his family and friends. I don’t wanna see anyone die, but I hope he gets really sick. Maybe that will change his mind.

@Troy I found the video interesting and pretty much typical of what 100-year-old- people have to say. As far as age is concerned, I adhere to the old cliche about it being just a number. 92 - 29, whatever. Let's hear it for your 96- year-old acquaintence who's still driving! On August 18th, 1951, at the age of 18, I celebrated my "golden" birthday! And golden I was. Just graduated from high school and was poised to enter my first year at the University of Illinois where a whole new world awaited me. The most enduring lessons I learned there, however, were not in the books. I learned who I was, and basicsally I'm still that same person. I've never stopped being that 18-year-old who viewed the world through skeptical eyes, and preferred to do this from a place of comfort in a situation where I didn't have to exert myself too much. Hence, my 30-year job as a "flexible" clerk at the Post Office, - where I completed my lessons in life, penning a weekly newspaper column along the way. I married a guy who understood me, and who made me laugh. We shared a love of jazz and movie trivia and - each other. One month after our 50th wedding anniversary, he passed. I miss him every day. Every time I smell a particular cologne I think of him. Certain songs tug at my heart. A widow's pension is part of my monthly income. In addition to giving birth to 5 kids, after retiring from my job, I self-published 5 books - which obviously were not best-sellers. I am neither religious nor nurturing. No baking brownies for me, but Nana is still referred to as being "cool". I do miss my siblings and all my krazy friends who've passed on. They contributed so much to what was fun and unique about my life. I do not consider myself an inspiration, and I have no advice to offer any one, nor have I yet discovered what my purpose for being here is. I agree that longevity does have a lot to do with luck. I've never watched my diet, never given up sugar, red meat and have a heavy hand with the salt shaker. 'Smoked and drank up into my 70s. But here I am, - until I'm not...

No matter the land or language or religion, there seems to be a common regret among most people who live to be of an advanced age....... They wish they hadn't let fear stop them from doing certain things.

Of course, our perspectives are shaped by a number of factors. The biggest factor is time. The people who are thriving would claim the world is a great place and these are the best of times. I'm non-religious but I believe what people consider heaven and h8ll are co-located right here on the planet. Again, just a matter of one's existence and experiences resulting in their perspective. @aka Contrarian, hang in there. Depending on your beliefs, there's really no other choice. Gotta ride it out.

To me, Language is a tool which can often be inadequate. Abstract ideas often dwell in the spaces between the lines. ZEN exemplifies this.