Pioneer1

It depends on the reason. If they deny it in order to fit in TOO get a better job or if they are being harassed in society because of their ethnicity and are hiding it out of fear, that's understandable. I don't consider that self-hatred. But if you're doing it SIMPLY because you don't like the group you're in and think they're inferior to other groups. You think YOUR people are uglier because their noses are bigger. You think YOUR people's food is worse because they tend to use more garlic. You think YOUR people are the most nerdy or geeky because they insist on education and study more. ....and you seek to deny or escape your ethnicity simply because of your person dislike of it in comparison to others; THAT is a form of self-hate

ProdD Nobody's saying it's in our blood not to marry. Just pointing out that neither Common nor Drake put a ring on Serena's finger. And the question is, did she WANT them to? Marriage in America is usually a two way street. Do we know for a fact that Serena actually WANTED these men for husbands or did she just want them for "fun", whatever that may be. I don't know one way or the other, that's between them and Serena. The ONLY actual fact the public knows is that the White guy married her. How she feels about him VS how she feels about Drake, Common, or any other non-White man she was involved with is really known between them. However my point is obviously she found them attractive and they found her attractive enough for a relationship that lasted YEARS. Marriage is nothing more than an "official/legal" relationship. As we're pointing out...neither of them married her for whatever reason. The white dude came along and did it. Marriage is also OFTEN a way to control and manipulate women by gaining a type of "ownership" over them. White men are known for THAT mentality also, which could be an explanation as to why so many White men are eager to MARRY a woman as opposed to simply have a relationship with her. They want to control her and keep her on lock, more so than Black men do. Penny, er, Janet was walking around in the Middle East for a few years wearing a burka before they divorced and she came back to America richer than before she left. But she divorced him. Obviously things weren't perfect, lol. Middle Eastern culture exemplifies what I just said about marriage being a way of TRYING to control and manipulate women. Much of Middle Eastern culture is based on early Caucasian hegemony when the Caucasians called "Arabs" were coming down out of the mountains to take control over that central region using sex and marriage as a way of controlling not only their women but the women of other racial groups. False equivalence bro. Regardless of color, humans belong to the same species. That's why they can procreate. But the analogy is fitting because must cultures and racial groups SEEK to be around and marry those who look like them and share the same culture. Whether you're talking about prison, school, or even a lunch cafeteria....sociology and social science confirms that BY NATURE people tend to gravitate towards and seek people who: 1. Look like them 2. Share the same culture/language as them They sit next to them, and socialize with them MORE SO than other groups....and minorities of that group often branch off and seek relationships with other groups for various reasons. SELF HATRED is one strong reason why a person in one group will often branch off and seek a relationship (platonic or sexual) in another group. Because either they aren't liked in that group or THEY don't like the group they are a part of. A lot of Black women simply don't like themselves OR the Black race and seek to "exit" it by marrying anybody EXCEPT Black, and use excuses for this. Mel Eve is another one with the long blonde hair. Anytime I see a Black woman with blonde hair, even blonde highlights....that raises red flags. You may say that's a VERY common style today. And if you do, I'd agree. And self-hatred is VERY common today. Anyway, Eve is also a good example of how Black women often change THEIR behavior when they get with White men. All that talk of thugging and loving criminals and tough talk..... But once you run into the arms of a White man, now you wanna play "soccer mom" and stay at home backing cookies and chatting on talk shows.

Well let me HURRY UP and run along.... Cuz I heard that anytime a man is around YOU longer than 5 minutes, you start "grasping" at something ELSE. And it ain't straws....lol. "Lawd..... I'm glad I took my wig off."

The same mentality applies to most successful relationships too. If a man KNOWS a woman is with him simply because of his money and she knows he knows it and they come to a verbal and clear understanding of this, things tend to operate smoothly. Much more smoothly than a man who thinks a woman is with him for "love".

I honestly am glad to hear (read...lol) this. This is what I call Black success. I'll also repeat that I'm glad your daughter chose to marry and spend her life with a Black man, especially a successful one. When people ask me do I consider mixed children "Black" or part of the AfroAmerican community, I say it often depends on who they choose to pro-create with or marry. You may not be able to help who your parents were (some believe you chose them but...that's a different topic...lol), but you can choose who you decide to align yourself with. I know you're from the New York area, not sure where you raised your daughters but was that downtown Chicago where that picture was taken? That looks like the Sears Tower in the background.

Why? Are you looking for justification for so many of your stupid ass responses???

Say what??? Oh no, no, nooooo. According to yall....Black men don't marry women....LOL

Man that woman is short...lol. I've seen her in person on a few occasions. Cute as a button and always smiling. But short AF. Smurf size.

Speaking of wallowing in cesspools...... Did 😝-Naw....I better not tell THAT joke. There are some boundaries I don't cross....lol.

1. What do you mean "outed"? Did it come out in his trial that Puffy is some sort of homosexual or transgender, or something??? 2. What do you mean one of "your" own? Isn't Puffy not one of YOUR peops as well as mine, if we're all AfroAmericans?

Wait a minute...... And the title of this thread is called "Missing You" Either this is a coincidence or somebody is a Faith Evans fan....lol.

Not as ironic as a Black woman who sits up and tries to justify a middle-aged White man preying on, grooming, and sexually molesting a 14 year old Black girl and forcing her to have his children....all the while calling her a "kept woman" with a benevolent "sugar daddy". Woman please..... When grown men are talking you better take your ass out the room and watch a damn soap opera or something....lol. Ain't "Boule Beyond The Gates", on?

🤨 -Huh????

Self hatred and the desire to procreate with and blend into White society isn't exclusive to just one or two groups but can be find among people around the planet. Among Latinos, they have something called "Mejorando La Raza" which translates into "Bettering The Race" It's a custom found through out Latin America and Latino culture that basically advises ALL Latinos to seek either: -White Latinos -White Anglos -or atleast lighter skinned Latinos ...to marry and mate with so that the children will come out lighter and closer to White; which they consider "better". Infact, in some cases they can just skip the "marry" part and just MATE with White people and those children will be accepted into the family regardless as to the circumstances by which they were brought into the world. Does this sound familiar to anybody?

Mel Serena didn't lighten her skin! Didn't you see her during the Super Bowl! That's MAKEUP! Serena isn't your 'round the way girl', she is a freaking high-profile celebrity, and guess what, that's what celebrities do of ALL colors, ethnicities, and nationalities. Even sometimes they wear "black face" and deal with ignorance, but that's what high-profile people do! Mel, skin lightening is skin lightening as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't matter whether the product you're using is permanent or temporary and washes off at the end of the night. If you're using make-up that makes your skin lighter THINKING it makes you more beautiful or attractive in any way, it's a form of self-hatred. And yes, White people get sun tans for the same reason! It seems like you're just angry she didn't sideline herself because no Black man stood up and asked her to get married. How do we know that? Back in the early 2000s I saw pictures of Serena Williams in half the Black barbershops I went to and plenty of Black men on television were talking about how attractive she was. Certainly many of them WOULD have married her, for various reasons...lol. If you're any indication of how Black men treated her even with her celebrity, it makes sense why she just got off that merry-go-round. That suggests that Black women weren't created FOR Black men to marry or pro-create with or vice versa. If you look at most HEALTHY psychologically balanced human beings and even the animal kingdom....kind seeks to mate with and be with like kind. Shit, even TURTLES and RABBITS seek eachother to procreate with and be with! You don't catch female elephants hanging around male hippos looking for love and companionship and complaining about how the other male elephants treat them. "Hey yall..... I need some love and affection. Them elephant menz overthere ain't nice to me. They say my trunk is too long for a female elephant! Can I sleep with yall tonight???" You don't see no crazy shit like that going on in the animal kingdom. ONLY among human beings and ONLY in historically oppressed communities do you find people making and using excuses to justify their SELF HATRED and desire to seek out and be around and BLEND IN with other than their own kind. It's a psychological sickness that needs to be remedied.

ProfD Those dudes married their wives before they became successful. Yes! Which also means their wives chose THEM before they became "successful"...lol My point was, these are Black men who DID want to get married and GOT married and STAYED married. So we can't say that it isn't in our blood and that we....of all the other races of men...are some anomaly or freak of nature and just don't want to marry our women. That's some propagandist shit right there. Common and Drake and whoever else she dated could have left a bad taste in her mouth Well she dated BOTH men for over 3 years. So she MUST have acquired a taste for them like WARM BEER to put up with it for such a prolonged period of time...lol. We don't know why people break up, but we do know that most sexual relationships in the United States aren't forced which means that if she was with any man for more than a week...she was clearly attracted to him. What happened? What changed? We don't know. People do not have to justify who they choose to bun up with or bang or marry. Black mensl certainly aren't in a position to be judge or jury either. No. But women often do because they don't want to appear shallow or look like hypocrites for doing the same things they accuse MEN of doing. A dark skinned Black woman will criticize Black men for years and claim that they only like "light skinned" Black women. But then she'll turn around and start dating one or even a White man BECAUSE OF HOW HE LOOKS....but don't want to admit it. So she'll "make up" excuses of why she's with him like: -He's got money -He treats me right -He doesn't cheat ....even if NONE of these things are true or the same could be said about SOME of the Black men she COULD have dated, she'll say them to JUSTIFY why she's with a light skinned or White man; because she doesn't want to admit the REAL reason she's with him is because she likes the way he looks and thinks she's handsome and will make attractive children.

I also notice PATTERNS. Serena....like the rapper EVE....almost exclusively DATED Black men but MARRIED a White man. Why is that??? When it comes to dating...pretty much sex and hanging out...you enjoy the company of Black men. But when it comes to marriage...which is a little more serious...you seek out and choose White men. Interesting.....

ProfD Let's start with the GANGSTA Rappers...lol. Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and even Snoop are all rappers who are not only married but have BEEN married to their spouses for a long time. There are plenty of Black men both celebrity and of non-celebrity status who don't mind getting married. Although I would say it's not for me or for everybody and I'd dare say marriage as it is traditionally defined isn't for MOST people in THIS society. This society isn't designed to support monogamy. But my point is, there are plenty of good successful Black men that Serena COULD marry if that was who she was looking for. Mel's daughter just found a Black man to marry! I'm not sure how successful he is, but that alone is an example. Just like we can't make excuses for criminality, we can't make excuses for people who are in love with White skin and use any type of flaw that Black men in general may have or propaganda against our community to JUSTIFY their infatuation with White skin or the privileges that go along with it. Serena has been "suspect" for a long time, in my book. Not just the blonde dye in her hair but lightening up her skin....all tell-tale signs. Self-hatred is a generational curse. It's often passed down from one generation to the next. If you have parents or A parent who hates themselves or the way they look and YOU look like them, there is a chance that that psychological problem will be passed along to you UNTIL you break it.

....yes, nice pictures. Your 80-something year old mother isn't bad looking either! Hey Mel, I have an idea If she's not seeing anybody..... Why don't you, me, ProfD, and Mama-Mel Hopkins....all meet up and go on a double date! I'm sure Mama Mel would find ProfD interesting! I'm sure he's a GREAT conversationalist.....LOL. PS....tell your White ex to take his hand off of her shoulder! We don't play that around here.

ProfD It's hard to believe he's been locked up for nearly a year. Do you believe they'll actually APPLY the time he served in jail to his prison sentence and reduce it to 38 months? I want to see some actual recent pictures of him. I want to see what his hair and beard look like. If they look anything like the court drawings they've been showing in the media.

ProfD There you go stealing the thunder again, because I was going to say the SAME THING about Drake....LOL. Also, both of these men are...through out much of Black America...thought of as "weak" or not very masculine or dominant. Both Common and Drake are on the "Will Smith" level of hardness when it comes to Hiphop....lol. Mel No, I don't. But I didn't really keep up with those celebrity relationships like that...lol. However if this is true it would back up an observation I've been seeing for years. -The same Black women who insist that the Black men she dates be "thuggish" or hard, will turn right around and be open to dating a White man who meets NONE of those standards and is as soft as a pussy cat both mentally and physically. A lot of Black women who wouldn't say "good morning" to a nerdy or geeky Black man would GLADLY give a nerdy White man or soft or weak or wimpy White man a chance, and take time to get to know him. Often times they IGNORE his short-comings or even see them as cute. Now seriously..... I have no problem with her wanting to get married and have a beautiful family; but the fact that her and so many Black women seem to "only" want this or find this with a White man makes me suspicious. For one, that doesn't mean that it's TRUE. It merely means that they're SAYING it. In other word, there are PLENTY of handsome intelligent Black men Serena or any other Black woman COULD find to marry and have a beautiful family with but the question is is that what they REALLY want? Or do some of them REALLY want a White man to lay up with and use this as an EXCUSE to justify their infatuation with and love for White men??? Like I said earlier.... Some Black women get along better in relationships with White men because THEY CHANGE THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR when they are with White men. They aren't as combative or confrontational, which in turn causes the man they're with to be less aggressive and treat them more delicately. This is why I keep saying Psychological Warfare is REAL.

Ahhhh man..... Lol.... Mel why did you have to go ahead and post those lovely pictures???? You know how jealous "you know who" is, around here! You know how "you know who" likes to be the center of my/male attention around here! Now you're going to sit up there with a smile on your face and post some pictures of yourself??? ....with some silky soft shoulders???? Shiiiiiit, you MIGHT have just made yourself an enemy....lol. Mel those were truly beautiful pictures. I'm not just talking about you and your family but seeing all of those attractive well groomed Black folks dressed up and acting in concert for your daughter's wedding is phenomenal. It's something that you don't see much in the AfroAmerican community now a days and it's very much welcomed. I really mean that. I'm also glad that your mixed daughter chose a handsome intelligent looking Black man. Judging by how he's standing and looking....I'd say he either has his own business or WILL have one soon. He has that determined look in his eyes.

NO!

I think alliances are actually MORE beneficial and dependable than friendships in most cases! Atleast with an alliance both of you have a CLEAR understanding and know what to expect from eachother; unlike many friendships where there are too many unspoken rules and expectations.

ProfD He has a mission but may need help getting out of that ditch. True. Unless he doesn't see being in that ditch as a problem to begin with....lol. The current administration deployed the national guard to DC and n8gglets stopped committing as many crimes. Did it help? I didn't follow the news about it too much but they said there were indeed a number of days that D.C. went without homicides. That's they wanna have "good guys with guns" in schools. Mass shooters are less likely to show up at schools if they know strapped folks are walking around. Either that, or the stressed out teachers and other staff with mental issues would then become the new "school shooters" instead of the students...lol.