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Cynique

"if called by a panther, don't anther"

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@DelWould you want to be one among the multiple husbands of a woman?  What's "open and progressive" about this? It is a form of exploitation, by the person who has more than one spouse.  Who would voluntarily want to be in the pecking order for a shared mate?  You?  It's more beneficial to just be a "side piece".   

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2 hours ago, zaji said:

 

Exactly. Folks forget that there are/were African cultures where the woman has more than one man, not the man having more than one woman. Matriarchs. 

I have not actively read about about social sexual mores . Even though I have read erotica from different perspectives and cultural sexual techniques plus sex magic .

Both Thor and the Black Panther cut a lesbian love scene. 

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Perhaps Pioneer can explain 

30 minutes ago, Cynique said:

 

@DelWould you want to be one among the multiple husbands of a woman?  What's "open and progressive" about this? It is a form of exploitation, by the person who has more than one spouse.  Who would voluntarily want to be in the pecking order for a shared mate?  You?  It's more beneficial to just be a "side piece".   

I can't explain why you would want to do it. However other people see the issue differently. You may be confusing a harem with polygamy polyandry or polyamory. 

or maybe I am

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 If you can't explain something then maybe you ought not appoint yourself as the spokesman of "other people".  When i said spouse, this applied to marriage; not a harem.  This is a dead end-conversation, rife with speculation.  

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1 hour ago, Cynique said:

 If you can't explain something then maybe you ought not appoint yourself as the spokesman of "other people".  

Cynique you are projecting. And asking me to say what works for other people. 

If you reread what I have written you may find this to be the case, if not then quote my statement and let's discuss it.

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It was a great movie. I don't think it will get best picture though. Set or costume design may get an award.

 

He covered some big issues by having each character struggle with them: Charity Opression Responsibility Loyalty Allegiance Vengeance Identity Family. 

It joins a handful of my favorite movies that work on more than one level. I would put it slightly above Star Wars because of the acting.

2 hours ago, Cynique said:

 If you can't explain something then maybe you ought not appoint yourself as the spokesman of "other people".  When i said spouse, this applied to marriage; not a harem.  This is a dead end-conversation, rife with 

2 hours ago, Cynique said:

 If you can't explain something then maybe you ought not appoint yourself as the spokesman of "other people".  When i said spouse, this applied to marriage; not a harem.  This is a dead end-conversation, rife with speculation.  

What's with all the binary thinking. I can explain and I am not the spokesperson for anyone. In addition to being a thinker it should be obvious that I have no interest in any active leadership. The only correct statement is   your last sentence. However the dead end is your unwillingness to contemplate another point of view. 

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 Is your point that polygamy is better for men than women. 

 

The reason some choose polygamy is so that they have a choice. Instead of creating a relationship where there is deception,polygamy acknowledges a truth. Some people need more than one (sexual) partner. An open relationship works better if the partners love each other, don't care and or aren't jealous or possessive. 

 

If you would have asked 14 years ago if I could handle polygamy. I would have said yes. If we both could have secondary partners. Honesty and truth is more important. I also would make a difference between sexual and emotional pairings. I could accept a partner cheating on me easier than not listening to me.

 

I reckon this is where we diverge. Which is why you see polygamy as diminishing. It can be but need not be.

 

The end of the book 1984 really defines betrayal. 

 

 

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@Del My point was that polygamy is about multiple spouses, not about single people having various partners.  And given the unlikelihood of the male ego being unable to deal with sharing a wife with other husbands, and considering  how  straight women envision a happy marriage with the man of their dreams fathering their children in a family unit, polygamy hasn't emerged as a feasible choice in today's modern society. Especially  with how women are currently focusing on such issues as equal pay for equal work and, most recently,  on  men sexually harassing them. And, yes, i do think polygamy makes it easy to exploit people.  

 

I don't have a problem with accepting your point of view because, as far as i can discern, it amounts to nothing more than you empathizing with a "different-strokes-for-different-folks" stance.  Your prerogative.

 

If you're gearing up for a prolonged discussion de-constructing sentences and word usage and analyzing the mindset which motivates a point of view, then count me out.  i don't care enough about this subject to go around in circles in pursuit of getting the last word. It's much simpler to agree to disagree if, indeed, that is the case.  

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15 minutes ago, Cynique said:

And given the unlikelihood of the male ego being unable to deal with sharing a wife with other husbands, and considering  how  straight women envision a happy marriage with the man of their dreams fathering their children in a family unit, polygamy hasn't emerged as a feasible choice in today's modern society. 

This is what I am questioning. How many of these people do you know  that youkeep mentioning. You are talking about what women want and what men can't handle. I would say there are probably people in your own family that have various arrangements. People are smart enough to not say this publicly. Lest some uninvolved party judge them.

 

I was on the bus and the guy next to me told me who he was a salesmen in a small town and he got introduced into swinging. A few friends and people known to me have said they had non monogamous relationships. Another time a guy told me he felt bad about his relationship with a couple. One of whom was his best friend. Interestingly most of the people involved in non vanilla sex appeared normal.

 

There is a huge difference between what people say and what they do. The Down Low indeed.

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What is your explanation for polygamy(multiple spouses) not becoming a reality in this modern open society?  Tell us.

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25 minutes ago, Cynique said:

What is your explanation for polygamy(multiple spouses) not becoming a reality in this modern open society?  Tell us.

Cynique you have me confused with someone else. How many ways can I say I am not a spokesperson. 

There may be other participants that have the answer to your query.

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And how many times do i have to say that i am not talking about single people or mate swappers??  I'm talking about a house hold where either a man or a woman has multiple spouses. 

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@DelSee how easy that was.  You could've saved yourself and me a lot of time by just saying that;  instead of going on and on about your having no opinion while offering anecdotal evidence about the opinion you don't have.   

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4 hours ago, Cynique said:

@DelSee how easy that was.  You could've saved yourself and me a lot of time by just saying that;  instead of going on and on about your having no opinion while offering anecdotal evidence about the opinion you don't have.   

You could have saved a lot of time by 

 

15 hours ago, Delano said:

I have no opinion on what would work for other people. 

I  am in a monogamous relationship. 

 

15 hours ago, Delano said:

Cynique you have me confused with someone else. How many ways can I say I am not a spokesperson. 

There may be other participants that have the answer to your query.

 

19 hours ago, Delano said:

What's with all the binary thinking. I can explain and I am not the spokesperson for anyone.

 

20 hours ago, Delano said:

Cynique you are projecting. And asking me to say what works for other people. 

@Cynique @Troy @Pioneer1I said I am not a spokesperson five times in the last 24 hours. So I don't know how you can say it's easy.

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11 hours ago, Cynique said:

@DelThanks for your non-opinion.

It was an observation of events. You may have a different opinion.

De Nada.

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Was plowing through the website updates and came across our old book club's reading list.  I noticed, Guy Johnson’s Standing at the Scratch Line, and what a great book it was.  I thought about all the freaking excitement heaped onto this disney flick, based upon some imaginary shit that some white boys dreamt up to make money

 

Meanwhile the lives of actual Black people are eve more compelling.  Guy Johnson relates true stories of Black people not just standing up but kicking ass!  

 

There is a YouTube video I just found where Guy talks about the book and how our stories are not told.  He reminds us that most of us do not even know how many successful slave revolts there were... the stories are simply not told.

 

I say forget the disneyfied “Black Panther” film and read a book about strong Black men describing REAL situations in Guy Johnson’s Standing at the Scratch Line, a 10 Time AALBC.com Bestselling Book! #readingblack for real!

 

Shoot if we are willing to stand up for ourselves maybe some Brothers and Sisters will make this book into a film...

 

Standing at the Scratch Line

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Cynique

 

Nobody said they were against woman having multiple husbands. I simply made the realistic observation that in today's modern open society, single woman can and do play the field, but when it comes to marriage, they are looking for that one Mr. Right, rather than deluding themselves into thinking that any man worth having would consent to being a member of a team of husbands married to one woman. Get real.


Well what's wrong with giving people who want to do it the OPTION to do it?

Whether you agree with it or not, step back and let THEM make that decision.

 

 

 

Would you want to be one among the multiple husbands of a woman? What's "open and progressive" about this? It is a form of exploitation, by the person who has more than one spouse. Who would voluntarily want to be in the pecking order for a shared mate? You? It's more beneficial to just be a "side piece".

There are a WHOLE LOT of men who are "sharing women" in this society right now.
What do you call it when a woman is cheating on her husband with another or multiple men?
These men are SHARING one woman.


And it's the same way with men who cheat on their wives.
The women in the affair knows the man is married and is SHARING him with his wife.

 

 


Single women, like single males, lead the kind of lives they want to so why was the subject of polygamy even raised by the person who raised it?


Because the person who raised it (Pioneer...lol) wanted to know why an AFRICAN TRADITION was left out of an African themed movie.

 

 

 

 



Delano

Perhaps societies that at more open, fair or equitable or about sexual relationships, would also be more progressive in the main

This is true.
Sex and sexual relationships are one of the most tender and akward of social subjects and if a society is free enough to allow sexual freedom...then we can be pretty sure there is more freedom in less touchy subjects.
 

 

People are smart enough to not say this publicly. Lest some uninvolved party judge

There is a huge difference between what people say and what they do. The Down Low indeed.


Excellent point.
And that's exactly what this society forces too many people to do.....lie.

It's better to have a free and open society where consenting adults are allowed to do as they please than to FORCE them into an arrangement that clearly doesn't work for most people.


 

 

You may be confusing a harem with polygamy polyandry or polyamory.


She's not confused....lol....she's trying to CAUSE confusion.
She doesn't really have a position, just wants to argue.
Like I said in another thread, if I'm not here she'll find you or Mel or someone else to start a meaningless argument with.

But I'm glad you brought up these points.
I should do a thread on these different concepts.......

Polygamy
Polyandry
Polyamory

 

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I like honesty and choice. There's a stigma about sexuality. Apparently Ben Franklin was a swinget in France.

 

 

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16 hours ago, Troy said:

plowing through the website updates and came across our old book club's reading list.  I noticed, Guy Johnson’s Standing at the Scratch Line, and what a great book it was.  I thought about all the freaking excitement heaped onto this disney flick, based upon some imaginary shit that some white boys dreamt up to make money

 

Meanwhile the lives of actual Black people are eve more compelling.  Guy Johnson relates true stories of Black people not just standing up but kicking ass!  

 

There is a YouTube video I just found where Guy talks about the book and how our stories are not told.  He reminds us that most of us do not even know how many successful slave revolts there were... the stories are simply not told.

 

I say forget the disneyfied “Black Panther” film and read a book about strong Black men describing REAL situations in Guy Johnson’s Standing at the Scratch Line, a 10 Time AALBC.com Bestselling Book! #readingblack for real!

 

Shoot if we are willing to stand up for ourselves maybe some Brothers and Sisters will make this book into a film...

 

Standing at the Scratch Line

 

Thanks for posting this Troy!  It expresses my feeling about a slickly made movie based on a  fictional comic book glorifying African royalty, co-opting all of the bravery and accomplishment of Black American slave descendants.   Blacks in this country ought to get the stars out of their eyes long enough to give their heroic forefathers equal time!  

 

5 hours ago, Pioneer1 said:

Because the person who raised it (Pioneer...lol) wanted to know why an AFRICAN TRADITION was left out of an African themed movie.

 

 

Because the black guys who made Black Panther realized that the African tradition of polygamy contributed absolutely nothing to the telling of their story. As long as irrelevant issues are being raised, the question could also be asked why there was no reference to cannibalism, another ancient African tradition.

 

7 minutes ago, Del said:

I like honesty and choice. There's a stigma about sexuality.

@Del Why don't you and Pioneer start advocating people eating each other to pay homage to the honest African choice of cannibalism.  Throw that in the mix with sex and kill 2 birds with one stone. ;)

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47 minutes ago, Cynique said:

@Del Why don't you and Pioneer start advocating people eating each other to pay homage to the honest African choice of cannibalism.  Throw that in the mix with sex and kill 2 birds with one stone. ;)

I used to say your logic was impeccable even when I disagreed with you. That time has past.

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of course it has because you take yourself so seriously you have no sense of humor.  

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It has been a minute since I've laughed out loud reading something on these forums -- thanks Cynique.  

 

 

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Del
 

I like honesty and choice. There's a stigma about sexuality. Apparently Ben Franklin was a swinget in France.


I believe that back then....as well as today.....most of the powerful elitists are "swingers" who swap wives and have all types of girlfriends and boyfriends on the side

Most powerful people in Western society don't take their marriages OR their religions seriously, it's just ritual and custom for them.

I read today where that Meghan Markle who is preparing to marry Prince Harry CHANGED her religion to "Anglican" which is the official religion of England.

She didn't convert out of true faith and enlightenment...she converted for political reasons!

People swap wives, engage in all types of sexual behaviors, have tons of sexual partners, and claim to be married Christians simply to maintain a public image and keep the masses in line so that they won't get the idea to do the same.




Cynique


Because the black guys who made Black Panther realized that the African tradition of polygamy contributed absolutely nothing to the telling of their story


Oh really?

I guess I didn't know that was the reason because I don't hang out with them and have lunch with them every day LIKE YOU DO.
So they didn't tell me all of this like they TOLD YOU....lol.

 

 

 

As long as irrelevant issues are being raised, the question could also be asked why there was no reference to cannibalism, another ancient African tradition.


Has any African ever told you that cannibalism was an ancient African tradition?

Or did you hear this from one of your beloved White scientists that you have so much love for and trust in?

 


 

Throw that in the mix with sex and kill 2 birds with one stone


Why don't we throw it in the mix with you and your 72 year old "lazy lover" in bed....lol

Perhaps dogging rocks is the only thing that'll get him to "move around".....lol.

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2 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

guess I didn't know that was the reason because I don't hang out with them and have lunch with them every day LIKE YOU

No, you don't know the reason because you can't figure out the obvious.  Do you know that ancient Africans didn't practice cannibalism?  Or are you just resorting to your favorite rebuttal of relegating everything you don't believe in as being white in origin.  

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The Black Panther is a movie directed by an Black American. It's a mythological portrayal of a comic book. Perhaps in your circle references to African Cannibalism is amusing.

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21 minutes ago, Cynique said:

No, you don't know the reason because you can't figure out the obvious.  Do you know that ancient Africans didn't practice cannibalism?  Or are you just resorting to your favorite rebuttal of relegating everything you don't believe in as being white in origin.  


I don't KNOW that ancient Africans practiced cannibalism (and neither do you) .....but I DO KNOW that Africans practice polygamy today.

Instead of digging up ancient history that neither you nor I can actually prove, how about discussing something that is going on among Africans TO THIS VERY DAY that both you and I can easily verify.

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Since you don't know whether Africans practiced cannibalism or not and since a movie about Africa omitted the practice of polygamy then  you're dancing around the kettle rattling bones, and blowing a lot of hot air, as usual.

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1 minute ago, Cynique said:

Since you don't know whether Africans practiced cannibalism or not and since a movie about Africa omitted the practice of polygamy then  you're dancing around the kettle rattling bones, and blowing a lot of hot air, as usual.


Despite all of the speculation by your beloved White scientists.......no one today really KNOWS whether or not ancient Africans practiced cannibalism, so it would be silly to put it in the movie as an "African practice".

However because WE ALL KNOW that Africans (both here and on the continent of Africa) practice POLYGAMY wide spread....then perhaps they SHOULD HAVE put that into the movie.

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YAWN. Whatever. i'm going to watch the Oscars.  As insipid as this program is, its better than wasting my time bickering with you and Del. 

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Cynique
 

YAWN. Whatever. i'm going to watch the Oscars. As insipid as this program is, its better than wasting my time bickering with you and Del


Now why am I NOT SUPRISED that a woman who just accused Africans of being cannibals who dance around boiling pots.....would rather watch a bunch of rich White people win awards for who's the best liar and pretender instead of talking with Black people about a Black movie, LOL.

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  I don't think this pop culture vulture has ever made any bones about my not giving a shit about Africa and especially when it concerns  you. Gotta go. Academy Award nominee for best supporting actress, Mary j Blige, is singing on stage at the Oscars now.  

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