@Mel Hopkins As usual i was being the contrarian in questioning the advisability of not caring about being accepted. You speak with more sincerity than I do on this subject. To me, trying to make your mark out there in the real world is akin to playing a game in which initially conforming to expectations is a ploy to get past the first hurdle. The upper hand is gained by your manipulating whoever was misled enough by your facade to give you an opportunity. The second step in the course of doing your job efficiently, is to take back yourself, and become aloof if being well-liked in the work place requires you to put on an act. I don't think I need to tell you to never underestimate the effectiveness of passive aggressiveness.
In another post, we talked about there being genes for different inclinations. I, myself, never had the "ambitious" gene but I do think I have a "lazy" one. So, over the years, I did not pursue positions of authority because, as Pioneer said on another post, I didn't want the responsibility or the challenge; didn't want to take my job home with me. For some reason, however, I would often have the ear of those in authority, who would unofficially seek my input about problems that would arise. I would offer advice and when it proved beneficial, I'd gain a smug satisfaction from being the "power behind the throne". (In one case, I prevented a co-worker from being fired by pointing out certain things about him to our supervisor.) Meanwhile, I'd collect my pay check and all of my fulfillment would occur away from my regular job, doing what I enjoyed and this included writing for the love of writing.
@Delano, Like you, I am comfortable in any company, even if it's hostile because i like to argue. That's why I try to stay up on things, something which enables me to converse with Millennials as easy as "intellectuals", with "bougie" sistas as well as baby mamas. I hold no degrees, my employment resume is unimpressive, but I am a people-watcher and pretty well-schooled in the book of life.
@Troy I must confess, however, that the black dilemma has me stumped. Obviously it calls for a many- pronged attack on the racist, capitalistic system. But "black unity" is just an empty phrase, and talk is cheap. "Lifting others as you climb", is too often neutralized by the "I got mine, now you get yours" attitude. I'm looking down the tunnel but I don't see a light.