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@TroyWell, right off the bat, you make an subjective statement about the engagement between the posters on this board, and it gives a clue as to how black men and women see things. You said that you were attacked by us women for saying the photo of Viola was racist and that we accused you of hating on back women. Not exactly true. I, myself, was saying that you guys considered a smiling picture of a typical looking dark-skinned black woman as a caricature and posted a grotesque picture of "Wanda" and other coonish black characters in an attempt to make your point, blaming the media instead of your preconceived notions of how black women should be made to look in order to win white respect.To me, this gives a clue as to how black women are always on the defensive and black men are insensitive to them and hyper-sensitive to white motives. i always use my family as a test group when trying to glean information because this group is a made up of all types. So i will share the feed back i have gotten over time about the black man/black woman schism. My single, very attractive 40-something daughter is the first source for my observations of this subject. She's an Account- Exec for ComEd which is one of the regional electric companies that fall under the giant Exelon Energy Corporation umbrella. She makes about $90,000 per, plus a big year-end performance bonus, owns her own home and another house, a foreclosed property which she got for peanuts, and now rents out. She drives a BMW and a Road Ranger, all of these acquisitions spanning about a 10-year period. She came close to marriage twice but never took the plunge, a decision she was later glad she made because her perspective grooms turned out to be "losers". She has no regrets about never marrying. Most of the men she dates are not single but partners in unhappy marriages. She has 2 girlfriends and several co-workers that are pretty much in the same category as she is. What they say is that all the good guys are gone, most of them married to high school or college sweethearts who they "married in haste and are now repenting in leisure/boredom", marriages kept together by children. Other prospects include divorced men who all seem to be enjoying the player lifestyle, taking advantage of the 18 to 1 odds. These women say, the longer you wait, the more picky you become, more set in your ways. The also say that looks and color do matter, claiming the many black men are color-conscious and not great fans of heavy women. On the other hand, these "divas" don't like nerds or wimps, prefer guys with swag, a decent-paying job, a car, and good bedroom skills, - dudes who don't seem to be that plentiful. They also are leery of control freaks who can also be physically abusive, or egocentrics who can't handle rejection. .White women are their nemesis when it comes to the dating pool. So, yes, the conclusion that black women can't find good men seems to be true. Considering the odds, a black woman would really have to be a superstar to land even a Mister Alright . Black guys, however, have the luxury of marrying up, snaring professional financially-secure women. desperate to get married and ready to settle. Once again poor sistas get the short end of the stick. My other older daughter is divorced and currently in a casual relationship. Her only comment on this subject is that any black woman who is blessed enough to have found her "Boaz", has God to thank for this. My middle-aged bachelor son recently told me that the woman he was dating informed him that she asked god for guidance and he told her not to marry him. He seemed more miffed that disappointed. i just laughed preferring not to tell him i agreed with her decision. My ghetto homeboy 26 year-old grandson who has 2 baby mommas, confides that he wishes he could "pull" a nice girl instead of the "thots" who give them their numbers in the drive-thru at the fast food restaurant where he works. He said he's tired of the promiscuous young girls who make themselves available to him, sending him nude photos thinking nothing of not being sure what his last name is, verifying it only in case they want to tag him when they post explicit pics on FaceBook. My 20 year old good boy Paramedic intern grandson simply says he prefers Hispanic girls. My 13 year-old great grandson, echos this, saying black girls are too loud and bossy. My other 20 year old computer whiz grandson says he hasn't made up his mind about what he likes but has many online friends who, like him,suspect they are asexual and are perfectly content to be so. My granddaughter, his pretty 18 year-old class salutatorian sister, is on her way to Indiana State University in the fall and has been so sheltered i can only hope her going to an almost all-white high school will not hamper her interaction with black kids and black guys in particular at college. She is being encouraged to make friends of her own race and get to know her own people. Welcome to 2017, Folks!

Wait? @Troy How did I get into this one LOL! I was doing my best to stay out of this controversial topic. But since you called my name... the last year I was proposed to by a black man was 2013... and practically every year prior to that of my adult years. Well, not while I was married. I was off the market then. But even before my divorce was final it was a white man who proposed that year. But I do know what this woman is talking about, unfortunately, and I've dated some real "good black man catches" ... In fact, one GBM couldn't make it into town but put me on his guest list for one these exclusive club here in Atlanta. He wanted me to go and enjoy myself with everything on his account. It was all arranged I just couldn't see myself going on a date alone because I knew what type of life I was setting myself up for. But that's the level he was operating on... . I've dated some trashy BM/WM/LM too. I married a white man but he was exactly what I needed in my life at the time. I needed to get over my black baby daddy who was the love of my life but our affair was far too tumultuous for my maturity level. Still, to this day, I would label him a good black man. We were just star-crossed. I've dated the UN since I was 16 years old and then my boyfriend was a bona fide Alabama white cracker and we were in love. So maybe that's why the sisters are salty - they've only dated or waited for Black Knights and for me knights come in different shades of black - from light white to dark black. I stay away from married men but like @Cynique mentioned they are an easy pick. I learned a few years ago, I'm not as open as I thought I was. I like honesty and I was hedging (I think that's the correct term) into in a polyamorous relationship when I figured out, I don't like to share men. I'm not a jealous type though I'm a serial monogamist. But chile puh-lease, don't get me started. I love the inner intensity of black men - they smolder white hot internally,and are exciting! White men burn hot externally and Latin men are just fire (too much fire to be exact and us as a couple is dangerous liaison because I have a bad temper when unleashed.) I came close to dating an Asian man but I can't remember why it didn't continue. I learned getting any of those dudes to propose means you practically must become a chameleon and morph into their ideal... I was good at that which is why I got so many proposals but from my experience black men were the most difficult to convert from single to married. I did turn a few but they were the most difficult. Maybe it's because black men are used to down home cooking and the other men aren’t. I made mashed potatoes, green beans, pork chops smothered in an onion gravy for the white guy (One I mentioned up there) he disappeared for about two-three weeks -I thought damn maybe I shouldn't have cooked for him. When he resurfaced, it was with a proposal with conditions. I had to promise to give him one son. I was like dude I have 3 daughters and there's no guarantee and I just can't take that chance. So, we ended. Most of my relationships ended when it came to the prospect of having more children or me keeping up the charade. There are very few men I know of any shade that are interested in marrying fat and out of shape women. I know some women don't like to hear that but for most of men, aesthetics matter - men like looking at and waking up to pretty...just like women like looking at and waking up to gorgeous/handsome. So, I don't know why any of us trip when it comes to looks. Anyway, what I've learned about black men is what most married women know. The BM I’ve dated don't want to be controlled or conquered they want to be won over. That's a dance within itself. The fact that those men on the panel have been married multiple times speaks to this point. Black Men want to be married (I learned that the hard way). It's been my experience that most men want to be married. So, not sure what this battle is going on between the sheets... and that woman's statistics don't match the U.S. census figures - so she may be talking about eligible single BM with a certain amount of wealth and education in comparison to women of equal stature.

@Cynique, your reply was beautifully written, poignant, and rang true on all levels. You have a gift. I wish I could relate stories as easily. That said, I really do not think I way off base when I wrote the reaction to my perception of Viola's Time cover. The way I worded my statement it may have sounded like I was describing your's, @Mel Hopkins's @Delano's, and anyone on the opposite side of the argument as exactly the same. Of course, that would not be fair and not my intent. I was summarizing very briefly, what I took away from the entire conversation. Of course, the details were more nuanced... But Xeon's statement illustrates my point: “Just because the respondents agreed with your racial paranoia doesn't vindicate you, it just makes you all ashamed of black women.” Again, while you and the others did not say this explicitly, taken as a whole, this statement, as ludicrous as it might seem to me is it not out of line with the overall sentiment of those on the opposing side of our the debate. Cynique, do you agree with Xeon's assessment of my opinion of the issue? Obviously, I reject it, but based on your intuition, the reading of what I actually wrote, and what you know of me what do you think? @Pioneer1, I was not trying to start anything other than thought and conversation. It was just that the way Christal described the situation with trying to obtain a relationship with Black men hit me in much the same way the reaction to our perception of Time Magazine's photo of Viola hit me--unexpected and intense. What does a "Good Black" man mean? Man I dunno...seemingly it means perfection; immune to the ravages of racism, strong, financially secure, tall, handsome, smart, spiritually sound, a good communicator, great protector, compassionate, great in bed, in physical shape, gets along with your family, a good cook, no kids, no crazy exs, likes everything you like, has no vices, and is in love with every aspect of your imperfections. Does that sound about right? Of course, if men are looking for the exact same thing in a woman, there would a shortage of them too... that is, "the "goods are odd." Perhaps this is where the problem resides. Many of us appear to be looking for characteristics in our partners that don't exist in any human and are characteristic we do not possess ourselves. @Delano why don't you date more Black American women? Interestingly, I was never interested in dating anything but Black American women, but that was more due to the provincial nature in my youth. @Xeon, please feel free to express yourself. In 20 years, no one has every been banned for expressing their opinion. Now if you come at Cynique sideways, we have a problem.

There are beautiful women in all complexions. Of course, this is not a universally shared opinion. Obviously, in western cultures, higher levels of beauty are often associated with people who have lighter complexions but as I've argued continuously this is a consequence of living in a white culture. @Xeon, the colorism you describe in Asian cultures may actually have more to do with class. Darker skinned people are associated with the woking class, outdoor laborers. By the way, I think Gabby actually did lose about 100 pounds:

My mother asked me why i don't date more black women. A few years later it became how come you don't date American women. I am not certain you can say all Spanish women are fiery. Or that all White Women are passive. Tiger Woods ex wife is Nordic and she wasn't going for it.

I asked about your opinion of Farrakhan reaction to Wallace's question because I wanted to be sure I understood who I was talking to ;-) It was a reality check question of sorts. You appreciate that there are people who disagree with the Minister, most notably esteemed journalists like Mike Wallace. We can also agree, I'm sure, that the media has unfairly demonized Farrakhan which reduces his effectiveness because Black people buy into it. Can you really blame me if I'm a little biased towards a Black man? I remember that 60 minutes interview went it originally broadcast, because I was saddened that Wallace would portray the Black nation of Nigeria in such a way and there was nothing I could do about it. Farrakhan became a hero because of the way he promptly and properly put Mike Wallace in his place. If Wallace had interviewed any of our current "leaders" I doubt any would have expressed the justified anger and outrage, while intelligently dismissing Mike's nonsense. Maybe one of Obama's weaknesses is his lack of passion. People say the brother is "calm, cool, and collected," but if you don't display anger every once in a while, it can be perceived as a lack of caring. If you can't get angry about the increase violence in the Black cities and your actions don't indicate that you are doing anything about it, then it is really hard to win the hearts and minds of people... do you see what I mean? People got angry with Farrakhan for taking money from Qaddafi, I guess they want him to be beholden to Mcdonalds or Wells Fargo instead. This is one reason he is labeled an antisemite as if that is a thing, Black call each other. Given the number of Jewish people who profited from the enslavement of Black people being mistaken for an antisemite when advocating for Black people should not be much of a concern.

@Troy Actually, I liked your little survey. I'm like my twin - I have an appreciation for numbers, data and stats. Further It was fascinating that the larger surveyed mirrored our sample...

@Mel Hopkins LinkedIn allows you to search for a specific company and send a message to that person. There isn't any political banter and if your profile is solid, people will connect to you. It's a great place to seek employment and because of that it is the most efficient form of social media next to blogging. Twitter actually comes in second for me because of the same ability to tag, retweet and connect to a person you are looking to align yourself with. With all of that said, the biggest driver of traffic to my website is search. Our job is to literally create so much content that Google includes our content in their search listings. Even with over 3000 social media followers combined I only get about 4% of my overall traffic from social. The majority of my traffic, which has seen a +600% increase since October 2016, is from direct links and search. AALBC is almost = in directing traffic to my sneaker website as both Twitter and Facebook.