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The last i head, this is supposed to be a free country. And black people above all, are constantly striving to exercise their freedom. Because blacks are not all of one mind, some blacks have a problem when it comes to freedom of appearance. They are luke warm about diversity and want to dictate, judge, and criticize the choices of certain other blacks who resist the herd mentality of black brain washing that can be as restraining as white control. These Afro-centric vigilants, awash in their patented rhetoric, have taken on the role of deciding how black women, in particular, are obligated to look, and they are perfectly comfortable with imposing their standards, totally resistant to change because they are mired in the swamp of the past. They drone on and on about how deceived those are who don't accept their standards, mistaking the indifference of those they wish to reform, attributing it to ignorance, thinking they have to educate them about the hazards of European standards. It never occurs to them that what they are preaching is a stagnant gospel, and the are obviously unable to appreciate the idea that individuals are free to exercise a choice when it comes to how they want to present themselves to the wide world of reality. The same crowd frets about colorism which is, indeed, an unforgiving fact of life and, as such, subjects some people to unfair and insensitive rejection. This being the case, it is then nobody's damn business if some choose to get their color out of a jar, an innocuous procedure that is in a category with plastic surgery, liposuction, contact lenses, wigs, teeth braces, eyebrow-arching, acryllic nails, and gym work-outs. Ahh but the au naturelle nazis remain a constant voice of condemnation and when not disapproving of independent black women, they devote their time to harboring suspicions about ongoing secret conspiracies existing to do - what? Keep blacks down? Whoooo what a great revelation! Enough to make blacks sacrifice what little enjoyment they derive from life in order to concentrate on worrying about something they are not supposed to be aware of. Them. Discrimination is also a fact of life. Obese people, for instance, are discriminated against, so losing weight is a choice some make. Racial discrimination is something that is a constant challenge, one that involves ingenuity to circumvent. This cruel world does not adjust to the individual. The individual is charged with the task of adjusting to it, of carving his own path and going which ever way she wants. For black people this can call for tuning out the "Greek chorus" chanting the same ol message of revering Africa, the great land mass which doesn't give a damn about its American diaspora, and can hardly sustain it own people, prompting many to immigrate to this country and enjoy the fruits of the civil rights struggle they played no part in. Of course these are controversial concepts that will go in one ear and out the other of those who don't think outside the box. Those who'd much rather stay in a comfort zone free of critical thinking and just go along with the same ol litany of cliches that black have been mouthing for years in an effort to bolster their morale, huddled in the night of yesterday, reluctant to wake up to a new dawn where a person weighs his options and thinks for herself. This mind-set is not really revolutionary. Great numbers of blacks have already made the decision to do their own thing not even aware of how they have liberated themselves from the dictates of others, all the while supporting the common cause of racial injustice. And so it goes.

Amen @Cynique, you continue to fire on all cylinders! I'm single - and will remain that way unless I meet the man of my dreams. Life is too short but can be extremely long to settle for just any ole man. I know you asked @Delano but since I'm a woman I can say, I don't believe it's difficult to find a life partner. It's difficult to settle. We spend so much time as daughters, sisters, that we don't have a clue as to who we are as a woman. Second, we rush into a relationships because we meet the father of our children. Sometimes a father isn't necessarily a husband or lover. Sad part is sometimes we don't even know that until we've had our babies and then we realize - ugh...who is this guy? Or our lover is no one we want to have as father to our children. Some women are super lucky or super disciplined to be with the father of their children who is also their lover too! And their lover is disciplined enough to be a husband and father. And it's not a matter of women don't know what we want. We absolutely know who want but then there's timing. Right time, wrong man; wrong time, right man; wrong man, wrong time and then jackpot - right time; right man.

It's complicated. Black women complain about not being able to find a partner because they are looking for a male counterpart with whom they will be compatible. Not an easy task. With great numbers of black men being incarcerated, what's left are law-abiders or ex-cons who are content to enjoy a life where, because they are in demand, can pick and choose whom they want to engage with. Conversely, sistas are reluctant to lower their standards in order to compete for the less than impressive crop of studs available out there. To many single black woman, the older they get, the more they come to appreciate being free of the obligations of marriage and a family. And, of course, white women remain a constant threat. Enter the booty-call alternative.

Go outside.

@Troy men don't factor into our lives like that... We, women, dress and style ourselves for ourselves. We look for styles that compliment us that make us feel the best about ourselves. When we feel we look our best then we feel confident and it's the confidence that attract others to us. We seek to attract others for many different reasons -men being the least of those reasons. In fact, women have been known to elicit opinions from a gay men on fashion and will buy clothes they design for us. Heterosexual men have commented on my outfits/hairstyle/haircolor but I've never looked to them for approval. In fact, think who had the most to say about what former first lady Michelle Obama wore - men or women? Think about who reads fashion magazines? Read the copy - it rarely, if ever talks about what men will think about the designs. Think about who styles our hair? I think I've had one heterosexual hairstylist in my life. The others who styled/colored my hair did so, so I could look "fierce"... Fierce translates into confidence, btw. Now, when you see women wear sweats, ponytail, and a baseball cap, even sunglasses that's when we are dressing for men. We specifically don't want attention, but especially a man's attention. But I've learned, as my "sisters" have, sometimes that doesn't even work. As for hair color, "blond" hair is high maintenance especially if your natural color is dark or grey.... In both cases you have to strip the hair color to make it porous enough to accept the blond color. Strip it too much and you wind up bald. (see any youtube video for example) So I doubt very seriously that Mary doesn't know why she colors her hair. She knows why - and has chosen to maintain it for her career that reaches back more than 25 years.

"the devil in silver" by Victor Lavalle. I just started it so please no spoilers (smile). This is my first title by Lavalle - so I'm just getting to used to his style. We meet the protagonist "Pepper" as he is being escorted to a mental institution in Queens, NY. He allegedly got into a fight with a man who was attacking his neighbor - (the man was his neighbors ex-husband. It appears he has a crush on her.) When the plain clothes cop arrived on the scene he started fighting them too. Now, he is being admitted to the institution for a 72-hour observation. In addition to being locked up with no way to contact an attorney or next of kin - he's already beginning to possibly hallucinate. He thinks he's heard and smelled something snorting that smells like sulfur. One of the cops heard and smelled it too. But the cop left as soon as Pepper was admitted. Looks like this one is going to get under my skin.

This certainly gives weight to my contention that the black experience encompasses a broad spectrum. In my little mid-western home town which is now predominately black but during my formative years was overwhelming white, instead of its small black ghetto being located on the other side of the tracks, it was located in the center of town, and co-existence was the name of the game, It was taken for granted, that white townsfolk didn't venture into our neighborhoods, and we didn't venture into theirs, the exception being the jews who were dispersed throughout our community by virtue of being the owners of stores and businesses, and who had settled in this town because it was one of the few in the area that wasn't rampantly anti-semetic. The schools i attended were integrated, however, and my high school, was at that time rated as one of the best in the state. (A far cry from its present ranking.) Its college prep curriculum was geared toward the state's flag ship school of higher learning, the University of Illinois. As blacks we were exposed to an excellent education that we needed only to take advantage of. And our proximity to Chicago allowed grade school children to take field trips to world famous places like The Field Museum, the Art institute, The Adler Planetarium and the Shedd Aquarium and the Brookfield Zoo, all of which i visited and enjoyed. Blacks in my village also had access to a fine library, courtesy of millionaire philanthropist Andrew Carnegie who erected libraries throughout the country because he wanted his legacy to be one known for encouraging the pursuit of knowledge. So, we are all products of different environments and although we are alike in many ways, the childhood circumstances that nutured and influenced us were determined by mere chance.

I went to the Bronx Zoo when I went to BTHS biology class freshman year. We spend the day getting high 😞 That as far as I can recall was my only field trip. Did you got on many? My big trip in grade school was a bus ride to Washington DC as a kid in the 5th grade. First time I stayed in a hotel room. This was all due to the effort of one teacher, who, years later was convicted of child molestation... We also went to a trip to Sleepy Hollow (home of the headless horseman, you probably went there) and the Central Park Zoo. A gorilla threw poop and hit ones of my classmates -- it happened just like it did in the movie Cooley High LOL. We did go on some trips and we also many things kids don't have today. My elementary school did not have much or do much, but my Jr. High school was much better. I'm always surprised me to here how few resources schools have in NYC claim to have. We had so much more and the city was struggling financially. We also did not have the additional funding provided by the lottery. All I can assume is that the government is simply not allocating the resources to public school education did way it did when we were younger. This is probably why there are so few Black boys in the NYC specialized high schools today -- grooming these young men for invisibility 😉

Whew, at least they're still going on field trips... but this is extremely sad. And Troy, you're freakin' kidding me!!!... You know what @Troy - this is some bullshyt! How the hell we both go to school in new york city; grow up at the same time and have different experiences in the school system? ..Did ya'll at least go to the Bronx Zoo? This is starting to explain a lot... If you didn't test well for one of the specialized high schools - then there's a chance we probably wouldn't have met. We were on different paths - IN THE SAME STINKIN' city with the same PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM but two different worlds. Troy, do you know, we went on field trips a minimum of twice a year at my public schools ... I was in the top classes throughout my academic career and we did a lot of cool things. Were you in the top classes? And no, my parents never took me to Disney World (thank goodness) but we did travel a lot... my dad was in military and I really did start school in Germany... Do you know I've never been to Disney World and have no desire to go or even take my children... but my oldest daughter did go with her father, step mother and brother and sisters. She thought it was pedestrian. Very american-ish.

My source is personal experience and talking with teachers in the NY Public schools. One teacher told me about a boy who, during a field trip to a park, pointed to over to Manhattan and asked what was that? Sound like you went to a good school @Mel Hopkins I can assure you not all schools are the same. My school did not take me to Hayden Planetarium, rockefeller center (Wow!), Museum of natural history, or the NY botanical gardens. I went to these places as an adult. You might recall Mel that the city damn ear went bankrupt when we were i grade school. You may also remember the teacher strikes during the same era. I too traveled around NYC, but it was not without risk . I group of boys in the wrong neighborhood was liable to get jumped by a gang (this happened to me a few times). I recall walking with my girlfriend in HS, we crossed int the wrong neighborhood and white kids started throwing rocks at us it was not bensonhurst but it was clearly a racially motivated event in a white neighborhood. I guess today you just get shot... @Mel Hopkins, did your family take you to Disney when you were a child?

@Pioneer1Oh, come on. The above statement is so blatantly ridiculous. All black churches have rejected the image of a semetic jesus being portrayed as blond and blue-eyed and with this came a dismissal of all the other anglo-sized biblical characters. Church sisters are more likely to be in love with Jesus or their pastor than trying to look like white angels. And how can white conservatives high jack a religion that they "invented"? Just another one of your concocted ideas that has sprouted in your skewed imagination, and certainly one that deserves to be challenged. (Here's your lunch, Chevdove, LOL )

@Mel Hopkins, you are half right. The books exist (indie authors, small presses, etc), but the are not publicized for a variety of reasons most notably a lack of platforms with a sizeable audience promoting these books. They are invisible. Are you talking about me? I know you ain't talkin' 'bout me!? What the heck you think I've been doing the last twenty years 🙂 Bottom line: one man can not do this alone. I can tell you this because it comes from 20 years of experience, neither the culture or the media are aligned to publicize these books. Oh my, you could not be MORE wrong about that statement. One could always write what they wanted, but the gatekeepers are in full effect. The web and technology promised to help bring these walls down, but they are as high as ever -- perhaps higher. Yes I'm a bookseller and PW is a trade rag, so I would not expect it to be consumed by a casual reader. My job is to pull out the good stuff for the reader's benefit. However, I do think an avid reader would get a lot out of the magazine. It is a trade rag, but it reads like a commercial publication. Obviously PW is not my only source to discover books -- otherwise i would not have very many books on the site. 😉 No, that is not a digression, you make a good point. I have active promoted Victors work from jump. I even paid him to do a reading once. I'm glad you discovered one of his book here. His book The Devil in Silver was an AALBC bestseller, but you won't read that anywhere else than on this site... you can think about that for a minute. Yes, I do have my work cut out for me; On your final point we agree 🙂

Toni Morrison has a Nobel and Pulitzer I appreciate her as a writer of importance. I just don't enjoy her writing style I read Sula and then Beloved. Your post sounds a bit elitist. You don't need an advance degree to read challenging books. I don't understand how you comment

IMO, they attempt to exude sexiness and i do think they are very inclined toward men who are more interested in what's inside their head rather than whats on top of their skull.

@Troy Be advised that women dress for each other just as much as they do for men. They love impressing one other in the hopes of inspiring envy. As for blond hair and black men, i repeat: there's no accounting for taste. And the bottom line remains that women adopt whatever appearance makes them feel comfortable with themselves.

Well, suffice to say that the opinion of 2 men out of a millions proves nothing. There's no accounting for taste. Thanks for finally injecting a refreshing point of view into a tired subject that has been beaten to death. If black women cared what black men thought about their blond hair, they'd stop dying it. Get a clue.

African Americans are probably more Americans than African. We should be more concerned about the content of our mind than the condition of our hair. Dick Gregory. Judging by the posts it isn't a racist picture. It seems to be more about the eye of the beholder. Women are to be consumed like a meal. The complaint is that she isn't appetizing

Maybe this situation will evolve and correct itself in the next 10 years as more and more young talented black male authors enter middle age and begin to write about their mid-life crises. The void in the genre has to be publicized so the idea can resonate. You have your work cut out for you, Troy. The vanguard is calling you...

@Cynique You're welcome and THANK YOU! But, I didn't take it personally. Funny yes, --but no, I didn't think you were spiteful because, Girl!, if you is alien.... well, I guess I need to check myself! LOL, okay, but hopefully, things will smooth out... @Cynique He wished you Happy Birthday! Thank you so much!

@ChevdoveI'm trying to figure out why this conversation is necessary. i have on numerous occasions expressed a disinterest in Africa and on other occasions kidded about my RH negative blood. You seemed to have taken my latest musings on this subject personal, and pioneer, who is one of my least favorite people in the world, decided to inject his obnoxious self into the proceedings doing what he does best which is to spout his made-up versions of things, - lies that are rarely grounded in truth or fact. But, rest assured that you can agree with him to your heart's content, because i couldn't care less, contrary to what he imagines. This site needs all the contributors it can attract and other people's approval is not required when it comes to posting things. I'm glad when you and Mel come aboard because you both always have input of substance. So keep on doing what you do, You're a welcome addition to this board. And thank you for your kind words.

Well state the obvious first. You have Sun and Mercury in Leo. Which means you don't like people telling you what to do or think. If sone on insults your thinking they need to be prepared for a battle. You have carriage or you carry yourself with pride. Leo id very aware or conscious of their reputation. However you also have a revolutionary side. So O would say that you feel like King but you are also acting like the rebels that depose the king. This will create tension for most of your life. Until you realize that the Kong and the Rebels have the exactly the same freedom and constraints. one of the two most important things for you is that things are don't correctly and you like helping people behind the signs which is not very Leo like. I can see why people say you are psychic. Your internal state is very different you are pourous when it comes to feelings. Also I would say that you can feel the intentions or emotional state of others. you also have a very strong social conscious. You probably have worked hard to have independence so that you have personal and economic freedom. So sometimes you may feel guilty or at times there us a conflict feeling between what you have versus what others lack.can you hold off on the feedback until you send the three numbers. Thanks, Del Oh almost forgot. There was two things I mentioned which would not be apparent. Helping behind the scenes and empathy. You give assistance and you don't want the fanfare, sometimes you help or donate anonymously. The other thing is you feel people. If they ate sad, you have the same feeling. Which is different than feeling sad for them. And people can not hide it from you. Again this maybe from earlier in life. But if it doesn't fit let me know. The bit about your sibling was the only thing I got from your future chart. I like your intepretation better than your chart. Because one of the two charts, the one I used had Scorpio rising. Which makes a very difficult chart. The individual is at war with themselves. And they test things down and start over. Thank you, Del https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/aug/26/impeach-trump-why-republicans-not-democrats-are-talking-up-the-prospect US internet searches about “impeachment” soared, according to Google Trends. The word was seemingly uttered every five minutes on cable TV. Bret Stephens, a conservative columnist for the New York Times, wrote that he had long been sceptical but “Michael Cohen’s guilty plea changes this. The constitution’s standard for impeachment is ‘Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.’ The standard is now met.” It is only an 11 minute change see if it impacts any thing in your chart. @cyniqu

@Pioneer1 THANK YOU for your response! LOL. I don't know from that perspective but something is significant. Have you heard too, that most of the presidents and most of the royals in UK are Rh Negative? @Mel HopkinsWow! LOL "bad hair"? Does that mean he has straight-type hair? or Afro-type hair? President Obama, former, also has an afro and he is RH NEGATIVE too! I am glad the baby won! You sort of hinted that this topic in your book of incompatable blood! I knew about if the female has the RH Negative and how it may cause problems, but I am just able to see from the Stanford project that scientist are considering the other way, meaning if the father is negative and the mother is positive. In that study it was suggest that it might be so that the Y-DNA cannot survive in a positive womb. LOL. Well, I am going to give a preview about the subject of 'traits' and 'Blue eyes' and etc.... I am getting ready to share more research on this subject later. But for now, ... My father and relatives still love to remind me that when I was born, i had BLUE EYES and RED HAIR, RED LIPS, RED SKIN! LOL! But the blue turned gradually to brown. My baby picture at 4 months shows me with light brown eyes and yes, I was very red, even my hair. It runs in my family on both sides. So you daughter is not alone!!!!!!! I get so tired of my father, still to this day, telling me "you were a White baby with blue eyes!" I am like, "Dad! will you stop! Man! I'm not white now! I don't have blue eyes now! okay!" Those Neanderthals! Man! or whatever!

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