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@Delano, (OFF TOPIC kinda ) I used your quote as an example of how our use of language - specifically how we use “gender” can be derogatory. “Polite” society no longer call black men “boys”- but in your usage to infantilize “Troy and NF” you reached for “girls” when “boys” would do. BUT Society as whole uses “girls” as a derogatory phrase - and some women use it when they don’t want to appear as “old women” It’s cute and quaint when women use it and it’s derogatory when men use it. It’s like Nigger/ Nigga . My intention wasn’t to call you out but rather to show how language can show lack of respect. ON TOPIC No, I didn’t get the sense you were speaking for me - It seems to me you raised an important topic like “climate change”... This one is currently part of the national dialogue because of 45. He weaponizes language - and he knows black women see through him but he also know the status of the black community. If black men organizations came after him after his outburst against the black women white house correspondents, they would have weakened him...catching him off guard. But not a peep. So thank you. I internalized the exchange- so not to think about it. This is better because now I can release it.

And there lies the rub. Black men don’t want to feel like cowards. So not wanting to feel like a coward is the reason for all the back-patting regarding random chivalrous acts? I can imagine that the alternative is hard to mentally reconcile. Mindblowing actually. But imagine if black men didn’t make it about them - and actually did the heavy lifting of protecting black women. Black men failed once and that is how many black women ended up shackled next to black men in those slaves ships. Still, I don’t believe those African men were any less courageous than black american men today. They were outsmarted and outplayed and did what they could to survive - even if was at the expense of women and children. It’s similar to the environment today - but instead of fighting, revolting and uprising - it’s more of radio silence on issues that effect the most vulnerable in the black community. When women say things such as Hopkinson in that quote, and a whole host of women share the same reality they don’t care if black men feel like cowards. In fact that is the least of their worries. Have you heard of the me-too movement? It was started by a black woman Tarana Burke in 2006 because too many black and brown working-poor women were being sexually assaulted on their jobs that they couldn’t leave. If they didn’t acquiesce to the men they would be fired and eventually homeless with their children. This is reality for a lot of black women. Don’t be confused by hollywood giving their star power to help these women. Or let’s talk about the tens of thousands of underage girls right here in American being sold into sex slavery... So let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about individual acts of kindness and chilvary...It is rare for any man to turn their back on a woman face-to-face... I went to the bank today and didn’t open one door or have a man jump in front of me -BUT that’s not point. We’re saying COLLECTIVELY, Black men aren’t covering black women. We don’t care what any othet ethnic group is or isn’t doing. - the topic black men covering black women. There has never been a march, a labor strike or movement organized by black men to stop the violence against black women or children...or a march against “welfare reform” (@Troy) that effects women and children.. or even march to make sure black women who are raising children single-handled get childcare, equal pay / raise in wages, paid time off to care for sick children or even a time off for mental health days... Black Men as a group have never even asked black women (the collective) what we need to feel protected” - So, while a man may feel stepping up to stop a black man from beating a black women - is cause for celebration, I say NO. As an actual black women who fellowships with other black women, that’s a beautiful gesture and life-saving If it prevented a mercy -hospital type assassination of a black women ER doctor. But in the grand scheme, protecting a black women has nothing to do with a man’s ego... It’s ensuring that all black men have a future.

Hey @NubianFellow I created a profile on Nubian Planet https://www.nubianplanet.com/aalbc and have added it to the list of Black owned websites. I also added the other sites you referenced in your article. Thanks for covering AALBC.com! There was a period before the rise of Facebook and Twitter when the site's forum was far more active. In fact, there were many more active Black owned forums back then. The URL you have for Melanated people is incorrect the correct URL is https://www.melanatedpeople.net/ I could not add dotafro.com. It looks like their login is dependent upon Google+, and I was unable to create an account . Perhaps Google shutting down Google+ is the reason. I also noticed that something really bad has hurt Nubian Planet's organic search traffic, starting about two years ago. I've seen this many times before times and it is one reason the Net is dominated by the likes of Facebook. If you know the people running the site it is worth addressing -- like yesterday.

Hey fellows if your women says that you did something that hurt her what's the appropriate response. No i didn't, you need stop listening to your girlfriends and that feminist bullshit. I take good care of you. No you listen to understand the problem. Do you think its manly to not man up and say i see your point. Sometimes its not about the answers but listening to the question. Troy I love the work that you do and how you want to make the world better. I know that you are not the type of man to disrespect women. But you can be condescending and dismissive. Mel said you took away her agency. That shouldn't be a discussion about you saying you didnt. Without understanding why she said what she said. Nubian a dialogue implies an exchange of ideas. What ideas did you reveive from Mel. Agreement and acknowledgement are different. Women are saying Black don't have their back. This strikes me as a an individual and collective statement. Before you say Black Men protect women ask the women you know and ask them why they answered the way they did. Not liking the answers doesn't invalidate the response. But not listening is an invalidation.

And as I wrote there lies the rub. Ego massagjng. Well carry on.

@Mel Hopkins It is feminist anti male rhetoric like this that holds us back as a people sista. You have said a lot, and most of it just doesn't hold weight. Black men are not cowards in any light I have seen Black men in. For the most part we are honorary and protectors of our families. When you say the white man outsmarted Black men, you mean to say white people outsmarted Black people, if that is the position you hold. But this a biased and uneducated view of the reality. In saying that Black men have failed Black women you are saying that because the focus of African societies wasn't to build weapons of mass destruction to conquer other nations that Black men are responsible for what happened to them. This may be a valid point in some lights, however, this is one of the things that have differentiated us from them. While they were pillaging and killing the innocent, it simply wasn't our nature to do the same and therefore we paid a terrible price. I agree we should have been ready.. but I see much of our history through the present. You see queen, we are our ancestors. So what does this mean? Examine Black people's willingness to build together, leave white social media alone except for marketing purposes and focus more on Black social networks. But this is not normal behavior. Black people don't support Black people and one of the biggest reasons for this is due to how we communicate and network. Wanna know my definition of a slave? It's someone who accepts domination with no rebuttal. This is what our people seemingly do when faced with white supremacy. Remember, white supremacy can't exist without Black inferiority. In order for someone to be supreme, someone else must be inferior. By no means do I consider our people inferior, however, the behavior is very flawed and undoubtedly inferior behavior. This is not about men protecting women. It's about people rising to the calling. And our people simply don't step up. This must be how they defeated us in the first place. To put everything on the Black man, who is fathered by the Black woman is just as insulting to the Black woman as it is to the Black man. You can't put down a Black man or woman without putting down all Black people. While it is true that we have flaws as a group, the focus needs to be more on parenting and instilling culture, moral and value into our children. Because we can nit pick all day. Trust me. And if you don't believe me, just go to facebook to see the childish ranting and experience the whole "Black gender war" agenda. And on top of that, the solution, as many are putting it, is to date out. How quickly we abandon our own. Then blame the other for the current situation we are in. Our ancestors would be ashamed of this behavior. Every bad thing you can say about Black men, trust me, they can point out why it's the fault of the Black woman and what you have is a social dysfunction in the Black community that would cease to correct itself. It would quickly turn into the blame game. There is much fault on both sides but you can't fix opinion. All you can do is argue about it. Want to fix something, then go after the behavior of the children's parents who instilled these beliefs into them. Perhaps there is something fundamental that our boys and women are not being taught that could be the cause of the social chaos and confusion that is prevalent in the Black community these days. We need to go deeper.

@NubianFellowi feel that what you said, doesn't apply to what i said. The men i was talking about were the "peers" of black women in the field of journalism and elected offices - the ones who Trump has been attacking lately. I didn't say all black men or make any reference to political leanings. In regard to this, i said that black men do what is expedient in the mentioned cases; just as white men do. Neither have taken up for the their female colleagues, undoubtedly feeling that if these women can't take the heat, they should get out the kitchen. Fortunately black women have each other's backs. And, it is what it is. So, do you blame the media for how once black men make it in their field, a great deal of them marry white women? Are "they" responsible for that??? 😮 Every black person i know or encounter on social media says the same thing you and Troy say about it. Black people are not as unaware as you two think they are. Why don't you give them some credit for being able to navigate social media and take what they read with a grain of salt. I don't know any black person who doesn't view the media with a jaundiced eye. But we pick and choose what we find provocative or entertaining. You 2 must have a lot of dumb naive friends. i also find it a little ironic that you trust Snopes to be an Oracle of the truth. As for me not feelng protected by black men, as an old widow, i have 3 sons who look out for dey momma, and 2 daughters who don't look to men to shield them. The whole subject ain't something I dwell on.

Listening is important as well.

Troy you have the situation in reverse. I at no point am speaking for Black Women. What I said was listen to the perspective of Mel and Cynique. There's a difference between disagreement and invalidation. Read the next sentence carefully and out loud. Mel and Cynique are saying Black Men don't defend Black Women. How can you say their experience is wrong. That is not respecting their position. It doesn't mean that you are disrespecting them or women. I know you and that's not your intention. However i feel your statements lack sensitivity. Zoom out for a moment the question is do Black Men defend Black Women. Both I and the author think not. You say yes, Mel and Cynique think not. The only position I can take is either no. Or I don't know because I don't know how any women feel. Years ago there was a debate about whether the Washington Redskins, Cleveland Indians name and mascot were offensive. Some said yes others said no. One player said it doesn't matter what I think. If one Native American thinks it is offensive then it is offensive. I am going to post another women's issue that White men are deciding in a separate post.

@Troy @NubianFellowCome on, you can't by any stretch of the imagination, use the 3 regular male posters on this forum as a barometer of how black men treat black women! Once again, there's a fine line between respecting black women and defending them! What is currently disappointing black female onlookers is the timidity of the black male peers of female journalist and congresswomen who are being bullied and insulted by Donald Trump! Instead of stepping up, these black pros look to white men as their role models and just leave these women to fend for themselves in the public arena. This is, what it is. BTW, the conflict between black men and women dates back long before social media came on the scene. The media has nothing to do with why, in the present, there are more single black women than married ones. The ongoing clash that pits brothas and sistas against each other is all about the unfufilled expectations they have of each other and is in part a residue of slavery. Sadly, single young black women of today don't really look upon black guys as their heroes. @Mel Hopkins I didn't see your post before i posted mine. But i co-sign to everything you said.