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I was married to the same man from June 1956 to June of 2006. he died from cancer a month after our 50th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately this in no way makes me an expert of marriage. My input would be to say that sometimes marriage goes through stages and either gets better or worse. And it helps if the 2 participants are mature adults, not children playing house. Back in the 1950s, getting married was something every girl wanted and expected. There was no shacking up and having babies outside of marriage was frowned upon. Even "shot gun marriages" were whispered about. i wed at 22 because that was the age all the women in my family did. My friends were all getting married and i met a guy who i had a lot in common with; who was "Mr. Alright". There were no bells and whistles or starry eyed love at first sight. But it did come at second sight. After taking the plunge, things didn't always go well due to growing pains. By the time we reached our 40s , with the kids out of the way, and money no longer a major problem, our marriage came into its own and became fun and exciting. i enjoyed and appreciated having him as a companion and a lover and somebody to go out with and have a good time, partying. i was glad we stuck it out instead of breaking up over a lot of silly things like some of my friends did. The final stage were just us trying to grow old gracefully, and i was there alone with him in the middle of the night, sitting beside his hospital bed, when he took his last breath. i squeezed his limp hand, kissed his parted lips and lost myself in a moment of silence. I had no regrets.

There has been quite a bit of discussion about the paranormal lately as it relates to inspiration. A number of people here and in conversations I've had with others say that they are inspired by the universal consciousness, departed family members and other sources through non-verbal communications, typically while sleeping or, for the more sophisticated, during a meditative state. My personal beliefs are nearly as black and white as I may have expressed in a couple of conversations here. I was raised a Christian (Baptist), but I've read about a variety of things particularly as if relates to the paranormal. While I find the possibilities and subject fascinating I remain highly skeptical -- it is my nature. I've actually taken a course in Astrology and found it very interesting. I've actually hosted a Tarot Card reading party. Delano, a new participant here actually did the readings (Del and I go back over 20 years). This evening I'm a taking intro course in Transcendental Meditation. I'm also very fascinated by all the relatively recent discoveries in Quantum Physics. The idea of the Higgs Field which permeates everything, and concepts like Quantum Superposition and Entanglement boggles my mind. I'm not in a hurry to assume any of the discoveries or theories in quantum mechanics is proof of God despite the use of terms like "The God Particle" the media is fond of using in relation to the Higgs Boson. I never heard any of the scientist involved in the field make a connection between quantum mechanics and God or anything paranormal. I say all this to say that the idea of mental telepathy, while fascinating and I believe within the realm of possibility is not something I personally believe has been accomplished by anyone in such a way that it can be proven. I also realize people are capable of believing anything. I also realize an open dialog is a waster of time as these beliefs are a matter of faith, or brainwashing -- simply not open to debate. Despite that I'm open to try... Delano, you mentioned you had two friends that could read you mind. What where they able to do to convince you that they were actually reading your mind?

Question: What is your strongest psychic (ESP -Extrasensory perception) ability? Would you, Could you and/or Do you use it for economic gain? Note: Below are general definitions from Merriam-Webster - not necessarily accurate but provided for discussion. Feel free to expand. intuition - (M-W) a quick and ready insight telepathy - (M-W) communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means psychometry - (M-W) divination of facts concerning an object or its owner through contact with or proximity to the object clairaudience -, (M-W) the power or faculty of hearing something not present to the ear but regarded as having objective reality clairvoyance - (M-W) the power or faculty of discerning objects not present to the senses precognition - (M-W) clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced or retrocognition - (M-W) direct or extrasensory perception of past events ? My strongest psychic ability is Clairvoyance. I can read, feel, hear energy involving living things ... I've used it for financial gain as it relates to gaining the upper hand for securing employment position. For some reason, it hasn't worked in winning the lottery...although I wish it would. But I mostly use it to "read" people or help them.

@Delano, Twin!!! I think logically and yes conceptually too! ..When I speak, sometimes I behave like the characters Mr. Spock/Star Trek or Dr Temperance Brennan on "Bones" - I learned how to speak "emotion" from watching others and listening to how they emotionalize their conversation. The only time I stray is when I'm speaking metaphysically but then again metaphysics is the mother of logic, so maybe not :shrugs:

Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are is a new book by former Google employee by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. Seth was interviewed on the radio this morning I decided to read the book based on the interview. He described our Google searches as digital truth Serum and how our searches reveal much more about us that we even know about ourselves. He also talked bout how disturbing some of our searched are suggesting that as a people we are much more sexually perverted (no the word he used), that we present ourselves He drew a stark contrast between they way people presented themselves on Facebook very what their google searches reveal. The observation struck a cord because I grew tired of the fiction presented on Facebook (including my own), which is I have not used Facebook for personal reasons for about two years ago and more than two months into a 6-month boycott of the platform for business purposes. The data also reveals that Americans are FAR more racist than is revealed in surveys. This comes as no surprise to me but is an interesting observation in a recent conversation about racism we are having about racism. I have not watched the video below yet, but I figured I'd share it here because it appears to dive deeply into the subject of the book.

Man, if homeboy does not come across well on Facebook, thats definitely not a good sign. It only goes down from there... I swore the religious due in the hotel was gonna accuse the man of pedophilia after seeing him walk her to his bedroom. Why introduce that character at all? Your reaction to my comment is more than adequate Mel and speaks for itself. I did not know there was a limit on likes, I can probably change that setting. Pioneer loves what I write, but he does not "like" anyone's posts. Sometimes I don't like something that I actually do like--I don't want to go around liking everything.

Your story needs to be told. I think I mentioned it in your reading . Not at all.

That's very clever. Cynique.

No @Delano, I have not considered writing an autobiography. My ability to tell my own story in a compelling fashion is limited. But after reading Cynique's memoirs posted little by little over the years, I do know, to do so would require me to tighten up my writing a great deal and not focus on accomplishments but to reveal how I felt about them including revealing weakness, insecurities, challenges, emotions all of that. Why do you ask? Have you ever considered writing an autobiography?

There is a difference between implicit or benign racism and explicit "hood wearing" racism. Often the racist does not know he is racist. Similarly, Black folks can experience racism without being aware of it, but that does not mean it is not present--it just means we did not perceive it for whatever reason. I just learned about a book, which I just purchased, that talks about this how racist we are based upon big data collected from google searches.

This is what i meant by "benign" racism. i have a few white acquaintances who i consider racists because they voted for Trump and are pro-police, but we have similar interests in other areas that bind us. Incidentally, i think any white person who voted for Trump is a racist who hides behind their rationale for having done so. That's because i'm prejudiced.

@Delano "something" told me I would better understand the answers in the "psychic ability" topic I posted, if I began here... I'm now on the first page and it has been incredibly enlightening. As I mentioned I sensed "Pi" movie energy from you - and your response in this topic confirms to me why I felt it. You've already put the information in the aether so I think that's how I was able to access it. (not sure but I think that's how mental telepathy works... To that end, I feel that you may be experiencing a block with Pioneer because you two speak different languages... Your symbols conflict with his symbols - he's emotion based and you're logic based - and it's producing conflict. There's something you have to learn from each other... as both of you have someone like the other in their immediate circle that you both like to communicate with but can't seem to find the words to make the connection... I think if you both seek to translate what the other is saying in your own language - you will reach a breakthrough... maybe not with each other but in your respective offline lives This came up in the chart that @Delano prepared - although it wasn't ongoing behavior it did happen "There was two things I mentioned which would not be apparent. Helping behind the scenes and empathy. You give assistance and you don't want the fanfare, sometimes you help or donate anonymously."

I can feel it. That's probably why it came to mind.

@Troy This is probably why I'm no longer married. I couldn't live with someone who is less than honest with me. No stranger in my bed thank you very much. Even my children are honest with me, and I them, to the best of our ability. Sometimes, they will stop me and say TMI... or I'll say to them, I'm glad you told me after the fact, or would probably have lost my mind. But family needs to be closer than friends in my book. Friendship is where intimacy begins. @Cynique beautiful! Your life stories always leave me verklempt. Yours, is what I was looking for in a marriage - now I wonder if I should have said yes, to "mr alright" too. In fact, I see what Troy means - if it were the 50s I most likely would have. My mother still thinks I'm crazy for not saying yes to him too. (he was kinda gorgeous and even successful for his age.) Ah hindsight - she really is 20-20

Damn Cynique, you do know how to cut out all the superficiality and get right to the meat with ease. It makes your writing very compelling. @Cynique , do you think it was better for the culture when "There was no shacking up and having babies outside of marriage was frowned upon." I'm 55 and I remember those days--it was not that long ago. I also remember all of my childhood friends came from two parent homes. In fact, in order to get an apartment in "the projects," you had to be married. But this was before "da' PJs" became associated with urban decay and blight. The rule for marriage seen anachronistic by today's standards, and almost no one is married, thought different men do cycle through. Unlike your generation Cynique I think more people struggle financially as they get older money problem increase, crazy mortgages, student loan debt, taxes, uncovered medical expenses, pillaged pension funds, expensive divorces, etc. I hear you @Pioneer I have never seen Umar speak in person. I actually I have never been able to get through any of his videos. Can you direct me to a video that you like I'll listen to him with fresh ears. I seem to remember him being really hard on homosexuals. @Mel Hopkins, marriage is often different than friendship.you're more inclined to tell you friend how you'd like to bang the waitress who just served you, but you are less likely to tell your wife with the same enthusiasm.

Author Sophfronia Scott will present "The Art of Memoir" at the Writing for Your Life writer's conference in Nashville, July 18-19. Learn more here: https://writingforyourlife.com/writing-for-your-life-writers-conference-belmont-university-july-2017/

Troy and Pioneer my apologies. I am attacking the person not the idea. My apologies. Del @Troy I will read the ad and respond later.

@Mel Hopkins people used to ask me if I saw the movie Pi. I said I am that guy.

Troy I suggest that you assess Dr. Umar with the same critical lens that you use to assess Del's psychic ability I have.....and unlike Delano.....Dr Johnson has actually PASSED the exam....lol. Really, with me....everyone who makes a claim starts off as NEUTRAL meaning I don't believe them nor do I consider them a liar. I simply wait and see by observation whether or not their claims can be backed by facts and action. In Umar Johnson's case, he claims to be a Pan African psychologist, organizor and motivator of Black people, and a defender of Black boys who are unfairly diagnosed with ADD and other disorders. He has more than backed up all of those claims with facts and actions.

Time is just our way of experiencing the universe, that does not mean that is the nature of the universe, that is just how we are able to experience it. Time is relative; for electromagnetic radiation time, as we perceive it, does not exist. Pioneer what you are calling the future has already occurred in a manner of speaking. You are willing to accept, without proof, the existence of an omnipotent being, why are you so steadfast in rejecting the existence of extrasensory perceptions?

@Pioneer1 , wrong question. I don't believe in "past, future" per se... I only know that "Now" exist... (and sometimes "Now" is even shaky) I may refer to the past -or even indicate that there's something I'd like to come to past but I use those references for conversational purposes. At this juncture, I can't conceive of a location for the past or future... I asked you because you said, you're convinced that only your God knows the future. Anyway, to answer your question - yes. I have met people who knew the future and prepared for it in their past ... My father was one such person. His foresight made sure his family would be taken care of economically and financially long after his untimely death. Also, we both know one person who saw the future - his name is @Troy,. He is in that long list of people who prepared in their past for something that today has met and or beat expectation. Oh and I have to include Larry Silverstein . I don't know him but I've read enough about him to know he had to see the future YES!!!

We get into trouble, when we seek to capture reality in language. Some things are too profund for words. We may know things but cannot express what we know. We just know it. We all have intuition. We have to develop and trust and enable it with an open mind. De ja vu should always be given weight. And I am venturing into the unknown realm even as I caution against the inadequacy of words...

Why is stuff so normal considered to be paranormal? It's kind of like how wearing suit, ties, and stockings in the blazing sun is normal while wearing little or no clothing in such heat is abnormal. I don't find anything "para"normal about one closing his eyes in sleep and seeing the events of things to come played out for him. Nor do I find anything "para" normal about one spinning without physically moving, leaving her body, floating, going to other realms. What is not normal about being able to hear things that are actually being said or thought without being in the physical presence of those who are saying them? What I do, however, find abnormal is that we continue to find these things abnormal or unbelievable. What is really abnormal? Being so far removed from those parts of us unlimited by flesh until we think that this physical realm is all there is an existence so unlimited or being in closer touch with those parts of us unlimited by flesh and thinking that there is much more to existence than this physical realm? It's almost as baffling as seeing how baffled some of the "greatest minds" (whatever the criteria for that is... ) in literature are to this day over these lines: "Beauty is truth, truth beauty- that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Admin You can "predict" what your little 3 or 4 year old child can do; doesn't mean he/she isn't making choices and has no control over themselves. I personally think it's a mixture of both. Some things about our selves we can control, others we have no control over. Nor does ignorance about the role the Supreme Being and/or other deities play in our lives mean that they have no roles, any more than our lack of knowledge of what the military is doing means they aren't keeping the nation safe.....or because we've never met the police chief in our city and can't see what he's doing that he's not doing his job. Mistakes and erroneous assumptions by man does not add or take away from Who and What God is any more than me calling you an illiterate drop-out takes away from your academic achievements. If you believe things are planned, then there must be a Planner. But I do agree with you that often times this world can be so amazingly complex and unpredictable that man has a habit of making up shit to deal with his inferiority complex. Robert Greene (48 Laws of Power) said, "The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces" Cynique I agree. It's one thing to say that everything is predetermined and planned, and you attribute those blueprints to an Infinite Being. But to say everything is already predetermined and planned and set into motion.....THEN turn around and say that you don't know who did it or for what reason is a little spooky. ((eyes wide)) It seems to be good material for the ultimate sci-fi thriller, lol

I don't propose that I KNOW anything I'm just telling you what I think about a particular idea. Is it possible that some infinitely intelligent being (God) set our universe into motion almost 14 billion years ago? Sure. Is it possible that there is some universal consciousness that we can all tap into, and derive inspiration? Sure. Is it possible that this very consciousness actually gives rise to our physical being, rather than the other way around? Why not? All I'm saying is that given the physical nature of our being, indeed, the universe itself, that we can predict the eventual outcome of anything because the universe is not at all random, there are known physical laws. That said; On a quantum level if you look at a particle like an electron, you can't say precisely where it is at any given time. All you can do is calculate the probability of where it will be might be but that is about it. Some believe this fact leads to infinite possibles at a macro scale; believing there are an infinite number of universes a new one spawned anytime a decision is made. I could argue that we have complete control over our destinies, our universe even. I was just interested examining the other idea...

I agree that certain things are beyond our control but I wouldn't go as far as to say that we are "machines". We still have a measure of free will and there is almost always a factor of personal responsibility in our behavior. There's is a difference between INFLUENCE and CONTROL. Our chemistry and genetics may influence our behavior but they definately don't control it. And this is where morality comes in...... A man of low intelligence can accept his limitations and learn a skill that will allow him to make a decent living in life, or he can turn to robbing and stealing and spend much of his life in and out of jail because he was too lazy to learn how to work. A man of high intellligence can either use his gift to discover the cure for cancer, or use it to develop a deadly chemical weapon for warfare. The genetics are there but choices are still available to govern behavior; if this weren't the case then why punish your children or incarcerate adults for criminal behavior? Troy has mentioned several times that scientists have often predicted what our thoughts are and what our choices will be before even we make them. However, if THEY are the ones influencing and trying to control those thoughts and choices....this would make thier predictions a little easier wouldn't you say? In other word........... If I have conditioned you since birth to find blonde women with big mammaries attractive. And now you're 25 and looking for a wife; is it THAT hard to predict that you'll go for a big breasted blonde? If I've conditioned you to celebrate every occasion (good or bad) with alcoholic drink, is it THAT hard to predict that atleast one of your children will become an alcoholic? It's not a a very impressive prediction when you're setting up the factors that you know will lead to a certain outcome.

"I'm just saying what I think, what pops in my head." Right Cynique. All I'm adding is that we don't know really how our thoughts are created. All the stuff about ideas (inspiration) coming from deceased loved ones, any form of ESP or a breaded white guy in the sky are not likely.

How can you say you don't get the gold and silver coin analogy and then proceed to give an anaology that involves a black woman and a white one and the inevitability of what accrues to their decisions, Pioneer? We are all individuals, and what makes us unique is what comprises our intrinsic make-up. So just because the decisions we make can change our lives, doesn't mean that it changes who we innately are. A decision may lead to a new scenario but it won't transform a person into something he isn't naturally capable of becoming. You can't turn a crunchy apple into a pulpy orange. Yes. plastic surgery can initiate superficial physical change, but choosing one option over another won't change a person of average intelligence into a genius. ...that's how I see it.......zzzzzzz..... I should've made a distinction between dead and death, because I do co-sign to your idea that what we refer to as being dead may be a matter of shifting into another dimension and that, indeed, death does not exist.

Cynique "Hummm. How strange is this, Pioneer? I thought I had included a paragraph on parallel universes in the post I made last night. But I guess I decided to delete it - or somebody or something decided it for me..." "Speak your latent conviction. . . Else tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.” -Emerson: Self-Reliance "When it comes to parallel universes, I went a little further considering the multi-verse theory, which holds that our earthly personas are constantly shifting into different spheres, each one the location of the resulting scenario that comes with the decisions you make. There was once a Twilight Zone episode based on this idea." Just to keep it accurate from my perspective......... I use the term Parallel Universe initially for peope to understand what I'm talking about. I actually believe there is only one Universe with multiple (perhaps an infinite) number of realities/realms within it. But I understand what you're saying and I often thought about it myself when I think about things that have happened in my past and how it shapes my life today. For example what if I had chosen to drive to get something to eat at Taco Bell instead of walking to Subway 10 years ago, would that have made any difference as to where I am in my life today? DID I choose Taco Bell already in another realm? -I've never hit anyone with my car, but if I did choose Taco Bell did that other person hit a pedestrian crossing street? -Did I meet a rich person at Taco Bell that I might have struck up a conversation with and eventually became a business partner with making me a rich man now? -Would I have decided to sit down and eat there and in walked a woman I fall in love with and now I have a wife and 3 children? Or would nothing have changed besides maybe wasting 15 or 20 extra minutes to drive over to get the tacos as opposed to just walking around the corner to Subway? Years ago I went to New Orleans to become a police officer but then changed my mind at the last minute. Years afterwards they had the flood where a lot of officer's homes were destroyed and some even took their own lives. By the way, it's things like this that lends credance to what Troy was saying about predestination which is why I believe SOME things are predestined. But if there ARE multiple destinies and multiple realms where other things have taken place other than what happens in your current..... If there are multiple "tracts" of separate lives that each decision can lead to..... Then ultimately, there would be a way to access these "tracts" of individual reality at will. Rather than trying to change the course of our life, you can change into a different life itself! In a world where over 75% of the universe is said to consist of dark energy, I believe that there are multiple realms. But different "parallel" destinies are also very possible. Infact, it is possible that somewhere..... Somewhere in another time in another space.... You're actually a submissive little Catholic nun who finds the greatest joy making and baking the daily bread for the rest of the Convent.

You could exist in the past but that is your future self. Do you could have different universes existing at different time lines that occur at the same time. We are communicating at the same time although I am in your future time.

Hummm. How strange is this, Pioneer? I thought I had included a paragraph on parallel universes in the post I made last night. But I guess I decided to delete it - or somebody or something decided it for me.......Some time I feel like cyber gremlins mess with me... A couple of times I have written irate e-mails to people, -letters that could've had some undesired consequences. When I was finished with them they would disappear as if I had highlighted them in preparation for backspacing and deleting them. Which could've happened by accident. Anyway, they would just be gone. I'm sure you'll be amused that one of the e-mails was to a deacon board of the church where my grandson's funeral services were held. I was particuarly upset because he was a 20-year-old victim of a drive-by shooting. I was furious because of the way they interfered with how we wanted the services to be conducted. If the caustic letter had arrived, my daughter may have been ostracized by the congregation of which she was a member. I thought then, that maybe from another dimension, the spirit of my adored and beloved grandson might not have wanted this to happen to his mother who he was so close to, even if he was more like me in temperment, and that because of this, he aligned his energy with cyber waves and caused the letter to vanish. A couple of months later, I had his named tattooed on my wrist, a gesture inspired by a desire to thumb my nose at stodgy people. But I digress... When it comes to parallel universes, I went a little further considering the multi-verse theory, which holds that our earthly personas are constantly shifting into different spheres, each one the location of the resulting scenario that comes with the decisions you make. There was once a Twilight Zone episode based on this idea. All of this is so mind-boggling that I'm beginning to relate more and more to Edgar Allen Poe's suggestion that "all that we see or seem, is just a dream within a dream".

Well, Troy, to believe in predestination implies that everything happens for a reason and that a higher power is in charge, manipulating events . What's more of a story designed to placate people than that? Attributing everything to god's will or to a scientific principle can be a rationale or a postulation that is assumed to be right, but whatever the explanation, it is man-made. Randomness would not apply to the conditions you put on a person dropping an egg. An experiment is not random. You could impulsively throw the egg and spontaneous outside factors that could not be measured or pinpointed because they disappeared could have an inexplicable effect on the splatter. No, the result of a decision cannot be predicted accurately because anything could happen in life's state of flux. But whatever decision one makes, the outcome may or may not be different from the outcome of your having made another decision. Randomness is random.

Troy "Pioneer, Del, that may be true, but it still implies that we actually have free will; which is not something I'm not convinced that we actually have. " Well, I believe some behaviors and thought patterns are determined by our genes. Certain drives, certain predispositions, certain tastes for foods or the lack there of. I read somewhere that Black and Latino people tend to be "supertasters" meaning we tend to have more active taste buds in our mouth than Whites which is why we tend to like spicier and more seasoned foods. I know I've always been able to taste the alcohol in any alcoholic drink no matter how small the amount. I believe some things are predestined, especially on a global or universal scale. But I believe humans usually have choices to make concerning much of thier lives. Whether they know what those choices are or what choice to make is a different matter, but usually there are choices. It's a matter of properly educating oneself. "There is an increasing amount of information about the way the brain works that suggests our conscious self is merely an observer and sophisticated story teller to rationalize our behavior ." Well if that is the case, then THAT suggests there may be someone/someOne/something else besides "us" who/Who/that may be guiding our thoughts and behavior! If we're just an observant passenger, then who/WHO/what is driving the vehicle? LOL. All I've had over 15 years of experience in sales. If I had believed in predestination I wouldn't have made it past 3 months, lol. Most people who got into sales believed too much in "luck" or being a smooth talker and when things didn't go the way they wanted it to, they figured they weren't DESTINED to make it in sales and dropped out. Me.... In just about every sales job I had in the past I didn't rely totally on "luck" or how good I could speak but on focusing my efforts and that's one of the things that almost always paid off for me. The concept of predestination...while some of it may be true...is quite dangerous. It can trick some people into believing they're doomed to stay in thier lowly condition. Del and Cynique talking about rivers, paths, and streams got me to thinking about another concept that I've been studying of late. Has anyone studied up on the theory of PARALLEL UNIVERSES?

It is my analogy, or I can't remember where I heard it. I think our emotions, our subconscious and our soul all make decisions that we are. Unaware

Destiny is like gloating down a river, free will is like swimming upstream. But I think the decision to swim upstream is predestined.

Pioneer, Del, that may be true, but it still implies that we actually have free will; which is not something I'm not convinced that we actually have. There is an increasing amount of information about the way the brain works that suggests our conscious self is merely an observer and sophisticated story teller to rationalize our behavior

I don't know why anybody would want to hear about my siblings, Troy, but - since things are a little slow... I had 1 brother and 2 sisters. I was the spoiled baby of the family and a real brat, I'm told. In the small town where we grew up, my sisters were considered 2 of the prettiest girls in the black community. One was very vivacious and the other quite reserved. Between them they had only one child and it always saddened me that they had grown old alone, the victims of unhappy marriages. The younger was only 60 when she died in 1988, the other 77 when she passed in 2001. The childless one, who died at 77, had a small circle of friends, but she traveled a lot after she retired, just to have something to do. Because she lived in Chicago, and I didn't, we kept in touch mostly by phone since I was always so busy leading my own life, married, raising 5 kids and working full time . But she would always drive out on holidays to spend them with me and my family, - her demeanor always pleasant, - but wistful. When she died suddenly, I had to go try and gather up all of her papers, hoping to find an insurance policy to take care of her burial expenses. This was when I came across several old bank books. The first bank I went to, I was prepared to do a lot of explaining and present all kinds of proof and identification in order to see if there were any available funds. The bank officer was pulling my sister's records up on the computer all the time I was babbling away. Finally she wrote down a figure on a slip of paper and handed it to me, saying no explanations were necessary, that I was the sole beneficiary on the account. I was speechless when I looked down at the number she had written. $72, 000. It was the same at all of the other banks. $25, 000 here, $23,000 there, $6,000 in another one and $43,000 at the final one. All left for me, including $23,000 worth of savings bonds, a $10,000 CD and 2 small insurance policies found in her safety deposity box along with $500 in cash. I felt so ashamed and contrite that I had not reached out more to the big sister who was always so gentle and kind to me. All I could do was cry. To ease my guilt, I wrote the most fitting obituary I could compose, brought her a beautiful casket and a large headstone, and gave a lot of the money away because I didn't think I deserved it. Ironically 12 years later, most of it is gone, eaten up by financial set-backs. When my widowed brother who was also childless, was dying, he joked with me, saying he was sure glad that my parents had had me late in life or there wouldn't have been anyone around to write great obituaries for him and my sisters or "put us away" so well. When he passed at the age of 86 in 2008, I discovered that all the thousands I had given him from the money left me by our sister, had been deposited in a bank account, left untouched. The beneficiary? Me. During World War II, my brother served in the Navy, and was a member of an elite group who qualified to serve aboard the USS Mason, the only American ship with an all-black crew. These young seamen gave a good accounting of themselves, seeing action in the North Atlantic against the Germans. In 1995 the surving members were invited to Washington by President Clinton to belatedly receive recognition for their bravery and were presented with special medals by the Secretary of the Navy. When he died, the glowing obituary I wrote for my brother included all of this. I bought him a fine casket, but at his request, he was buried in a veterans cemetery, in the navy section, his marker the tradional head stone with just his name, rank and serial number. I miss my brother and sisters and think about them all the time, something I wish I'd done more of when they were alive. That's life.

I dont know what could be any more personal than me having to give my date of birth. I was born during the Depression as you can see, at home because my parents couldn't afford a hospital. I don't have anything to hide. And I'm familiar with my family history, so bring it on. First 3 words: Health and wealth

I have had 3 readings. Or at least tried to. I wonder if I am an alien. All 3 readers commented on my aura. One said I should pursue being a psychic myself because magnetic waves seem to emanate from me. {she was a phony) Another said, my aura was blocking her thought waves and nothing was coming through. (She was a phony. ) The last one said when I came into the room, the atmosphere thickened. She said I was going to come into a lot of money (She was a phony) . Weather permitting, I regularly go out at night and commune with the stars and moon. This summer there was a lot of celestial phenomena going on. The planets were lined up in rare configurations, blue moons occurred, eclipses, the aurora borealis was kickin in. When I go out, I look up at the sky unblinkingly until my vision blurs and then I close my eyes and will myself to become one with the universe. It's like I dissolve. Me and the moon have become so intimate that I'm convinced my face has become a moon. During a 30-day period my appearance subtly changes. It's like I start out with a baby face and age gradually until the moon is full, whereupon I look much older. I'm sure this has something to do with gravity, and it might happen to everybody but they just don't notice it. This could be what gave rise to werewolf legends. I think doing has an effect on me. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Because I'm a lunatic, I do howl softy at the moon. I don't have a particular urge to do this, I just do it for the heck of it, - or do I ???????? OWWWWWWWWL As a Leo, I also bask in the sun but not for long because it seems to sap my strength..... What do you think, Delano?

I go online almost every day and play bridge. After logging on to the site, the computer pairs you up with a partner, a total stranger who could be any age, sex, race and from anywhere in the world. In order to get into a winning mode, it's necessary for you and your partner to establish immediate rapport for the purpose of communicating during bidding and the subsequent playing of the game. I don' know if ESP occurs during such encounters, but I kinda think interacting in a cyber environment might facilitate me and my partner picking up on each other's brain waves. There are certain partners with whom I seem to be able to silently communicate. In Bridge, you designate the suit you are bidding so you don't have to guess about what your partner is coming in But what you do have to try and do is to give your partner an assessment of your hand, strictly through how you bid. You don't have to keep on bidding the same suits, and you can raise the bid on the same suit your partner bids if you have help for her/him. The bidding keeps going around and around until there are 3 passes in a row and the final high bidder get his trump in. The winning bidder's hand is exposed as the "dummy" and if you and your partner didn't win the bid, you proceed to try and defeat the opposing twosome. So through a combination of card sense and hunches, the game is played, leaving partners to figure out when to cut and what to lead and what a lead means and what a played card indicates as you instinctively rely on skill and mental signals from each other. This is not only fun but fascinating. Even more so on line than in person because you're limited strictly to trying to read the mind of the phantom who is your partner. Of course a lot of this involves common sense and logic. But many times, getting an inkling as to what your partner wants you to play is esp-like. And I have regular success in mentally telegraphing what I want my partner to play when she/he is stumped, or with getting a brain-hiccup of what he/she wants me to play... I don't know what to call another phenomenon that I experience almost everyday. I would guess it's a form of synchronicity. I'll be reading something while I'm listening to TV and suddenly the same word I am looking at on paper will be said on TV. It also happens with the computer. The same word I am keying will be simultaneously said on TV... I think everybody has experienced receiving a phone call from someone they were just thinking about. This happens all the time between me and my children. I am a night owl who stays up into the wee small hours, and I'm convinced night time is "different" than dayttime. After my husband died, I moved in with my oldest daughter. My room has become a woman cave, - a cocoon furnished with everything I need and use, right at hand; TV, computer, books, magazines, cell phone, microwave, newspapers, radio... I love it. I embrace solitude and don't relish intruders. It's like in the twilight of my years, I have returned to the womb. Late at night I see fleeting images out of the corner of my eyes. Never face on. I've also caught whiffs of the cologne my husband used to wear and I sometimes feel someone jerk my hand. It's like I have 2 sets of eye lids. When I awake and open my eyes I seen an unfamiliar scene that seems illuminated, but when I close my eyes and open them again, I see my regular surroundings. Some time it's like I have x-.ray vision and can see through my legs and feet, all the veins and sinews. The TV never goes off and when I doze on the recliner, the people in the TV come out of the screen and stand before me. Woooooooooooooo.

Here's a bit of background about my interest. In 1994 spent a $1,000 for Statistica. A statiscal software package, After reviewing BDPS, SAS and SPSS, I bought Statistica. I bought it because Statistics was a hobby. I worked on a project where I tried to analyse the link between Astrology and Numerology using Statistica. I think I must have put 100 hours into it, made a bout 100 pages of Statistical tests. I couldn't prove a link, but Ilearned a bit more about Astrology, Statistics and thinking. I derived formulae that were modelled the data more than 90%( corelation coeff range -.65 - .92 n = 707) Most of the high correlation were meaningless as i discovered years later. I have worked as Bookkeeper, I have worked two jobs as a statistical consultant. And I have been an Algebra and Statistics tutor at University. I have also worked as a full time Astrology Tarot and Number reader.