Mel Hopkins

The absence of a relationship-role model should be recognized as the no. 1 reason for marital failure... Having an understanding on how to relate to a partner/spouse will allow the couple to navigate the other obstacles presented here.

@Del what was their definition of masculine & feminine attributes?

Heh, heh...

Question: What is your strongest psychic (ESP -Extrasensory perception) ability? Would you, Could you and/or Do you use it for economic gain? Note: Below are general definitions from Merriam-Webster - not necessarily accurate but provided for discussion. Feel free to expand. intuition - (M-W) a quick and ready insight telepathy - (M-W) communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means psychometry - (M-W) divination of facts concerning an object or its owner through contact with or proximity to the object clairaudience -, (M-W) the power or faculty of hearing something not present to the ear but regarded as having objective reality clairvoyance - (M-W) the power or faculty of discerning objects not present to the senses precognition - (M-W) clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced or retrocognition - (M-W) direct or extrasensory perception of past events ? My strongest psychic ability is Clairvoyance. I can read, feel, hear energy involving living things ... I've used it for financial gain as it relates to gaining the upper hand for securing employment position. For some reason, it hasn't worked in winning the lottery...although I wish it would. But I mostly use it to "read" people or help them.

#4 because it has history -and if "bestseller" written out across the badge like it was on "the power list"... #s 6, 1, 3 (in that order of preference) makes use of the AALBC colors which promotes the AALBC brand wherever anyone uses the badge...

There can be no unwillingness to "recognize" racism...You either perceive it or you don't. There can only be an unwillingness to speak out against what one perceives as racism. If one "sees" racism but says nothing then they're completely ineffective in the fight against oppression. When I see/experience racism, I DO something about it. When I experienced what I believed was racial/sexist bias at my workplace - I filed a complaint against my employer...No lip service. No ignoring it 'hoping it would go away. I. Filed. A. Complaint. In an emergency - "you don't fight the smoke - you fight the fire...Using your resources and energy on the fire " prevents the house from burning down to the ground or a plane from burning up in the sky A subjective photo ... is smoke. Black men being executed in the streets for our viewing pleasure... is the fire ... I fight fires... Speaking of those who don't recognize racism (or danger for that matter) when it's staring them in the face... 94% of black women voted for Hillary 15% of black men voted for Trump

@Troy Unfortunately, the statistics don't support your assumption. Majority of Americans are still glued to the television including black Americans to get their news . So it's important to continue to remind television execs that it's not cool to show black death on television for any amount of revenue. Our youth should not be subjected to such a high disregard for black lives. Your response is confusing to me - you want me to be all up in arms about your perspective of beauty or athleticism and how it's pictured but this is how you respond to something you know exist and can mentally harm us.. "Mel I simply do not consume news on TV and have not for decades. So I have less than zero motivation to write them." I won't watch when television news shows graphic images of murder - but they will hear from me every time they broadcast black murder. Gratuitous violence at the cost of black lives is not cool - whether I'm a consumer of television news or not. If I hear about it - I'm writing. As for 45, I didn't vote for him... I voted for Hillary in the last election. I couldn't care less if he's a racist - he's not qualified to be in the highest office of the land.

@Troy, I'm surprised that you can't believe you're not the arbiter of all things racist. LOL! This is why there's no yes or no answers to subjective questions such as racism. From my perspective the LeBron picture IS NOT racist even by your definition. Someone else could see this picture and demand apology ...but me? meh. I stated what's disconcerting to me about the photo - and that may amount to nothing more than jealousy on my part. "Here is a new question for you (anyone). Do you believe that the media (news, entertainment, etc) is capable of being racist?" Nope... but I believe General Managers, News director, exec producers, reporters and in anyone in the position to make editorial decisions can be. Many make decisions where the true definition of racism comes into play - but so far, I think I'm the only one who has actually spoken out against one of the most egregious decisions of late. What I'm referring to are the state-sanctioned executions and maiming of black men shown on our local, cable & network nightly news. I've written to my local stations, tweeted to cable stations about their decisions to show state-sanctioned murders in heavy rotations - desensitizing the viewing public to black murders... This is a double standard (racist act) because they won't show the murders of white people on television. When that truck driver mowed down people on that bridge in France on Bastille day and the casualties and dead were strewn along the streets every American Cable station made the decision not to show the carnage - their reasoning was due to young viewers watching...To me that sent the message Black dead bodies aren't of concern or disturbing because they're just "blacks" ... Why no consideration for black men being shot in the street, tasered or run down by cars? Because in their ears ...black executions are entertaining as public hangings back in the jim crow south. Have you written to your local station, network or cable station about this type of bias? Have you "noticed"?

racism: Definition of racism 1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race 2a : a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principlesb : a political or social system founded on racism 3 : racial prejudice or discrimination Nope. This photo doesn't fit the definition. Erm @Troy... this photo is Peter Mensah who plays Oenomaus, a top notch gladiator and teacher of Spartacus, in the Starz series "Spartacus"... Spartacus is a story inspired by a small group of slaves fought against oppression of oligarchy, overthrowing a large roman army... Maybe there's some truth to how blinding racism can be...

So glad you did not! I'm so glad I listened to "THE VOICE" that told me to take some time on the board tonight to read" ... I enjoy your voice and your messages and I gravitated to your words when I first noticed your posts... I agree there's a kinship and it feels as if I walked past you , (or any one of the vocal crew here ) on the street, sight unseen, I would immediately turn around because of the spiritual/energy connection. I know I'd say, "Have we met somewhere, before?"

See @Troy, it's not simple for me... This goes to what @Delano said " Think about it unless you perceive racism it doesn't exist for you. In your mind this is ridiculous. " ... Lebron looks like a warrior very much in the spirit of Spartacus My father was a warrior - so when I see black men I see warriors. This cover made me sad, though, because I see protection in the warrior spirit but I don't see him protecting someone that looks like me... and the fact that model is carefree and dancing means she feels very much protected and safe to just be her playful self... This is what I mean about how imagery reflects our beliefs.... You'd probably never write that story from that photo but that's how it affects me.

Who is this Steve Harvey and Why the F*ck is he all over my TV? I wondered the same thing too! And I can't switch my radio dial without hearing his voice. In fact, if I'm honest, I hear and see him so much he's starting to make sense - and I really don't care for his brand of anything.. So you make an excellent point. WHY does he have media sewed up.

This sentence struck me to the core! How can we hold on to "beliefs" that aren't ours to begin with but instead were given or forced upon us... I often wonder if the purpose of life is to lose our beliefs - engage in productive thinking when we do find ourselves thinking... And yes! Most of all experience and accept love ... Have you seen this awesome movie with the premise the eyes are the windows to the soul and "recognition" does occur through the eyes? The story reveals no matter how many lives we live we return with the same "eyes"

@Troy Well that makes two of us. It seems my point was missed as well. Take Two Black women have a different relationship with white men - one black men aren't privy to. It's the main reason black women made the best spies during the civil war. Black women know very well what racism looks like. We weren't absent for the last 600 years, we've been on the front lines fighting it at every turn - sometimes alone. The fact that some black men believe they have to inform black women of racism and are infuriated when we don't believe them represents a level of arrogance that is mind-blowing. We (black women) don't need black men tapping us on the shoulder, saying, "dude is being racist" If anything, black women need black men to speak up on their behalf about economic oppression, institutional racism and injustice that is unique to black women. We need black men to lend a hand to right the table when, for example, black women are paid less money than white men, black men and white women when doing the same job and are better educated with more degrees and experience. It's not hard to recognize what racism looks like when Black women are the first to say "Follow me" Underground Railroad", I'm not giving up my seat" Our Lives Matter" while continuously chip away at the bricks and mortar of institutional racism while battling daily doses of sexism with the other. Seriously what could a black man notice and inform a black women about who lives with a daily double dose of oppression? Further, black women have been style trendsetters since we arrived in the Americas... today we call it cultural appropriation when white women take our styles ...but they do copy us to appeal to white men and black celebrities. Therefore making a caricature of a black women's features doesn't deny black women opportunities. It's childish but it's harmless trolling that targets black men like dudes playing the dozens trading mama jokes. But instead of black men lobbing a few of their own, they instead return to black women and say, "white men say black women are ugly, don't you agree?" I, for one, say, "no." And It's not because I'm oblivious to racial taunts. it simply doesn't resonate with me. What some black men finds 'racist" concerning black women is personal. And with that Time magazine cover it appears as if it hit its intended mark.

@Delano, Ms. Davis is not a commodity in the respect that she's for sale - her work is for consumption but not her. What's for sale is this issue of "Time" magazine. The magazine cover dictates newsstand sales. What's in question is whether or not the photograph of Ms. Davis and Ms Davis's popularity will sell copies. Would I pick up this issue if I saw it on the stand? Yes I would. I'd want to know why Ms. Davis is so happy and what's next in her career. So in that respect, yes I'd buy.

@Delano It makes you wonder how sexual attraction manifest.. I've never been sexually attracted to women... but I had a mindf-ck moment when I was once working on a project with a "butch" and found her incredibly "hot"... "Knowing" she was physically a women; I had no "desire" to be with her but I became fascinated with the attraction itself. I found it weird because she presented like a man...and it was that aspect of "her" I found attractive. I enjoyed the mental exercise because it helped me to realize what type of men I find attractive... "renaissance men" Although she dressed like a man, talked like a man -she still had a balance about her... that I find incredibly sexy in men. Now of course this brings us no closer to how I decided on or it decided me sexually ...It did, however, help me to understand my sexual attraction to men.

@TroyWe're using two different examples.. You are talking about visiting different countries where American (black) men are transient. I'm referring to intimacy of relationships that grow into marriage and raising up families together here in America. The number of American households with white husbands and black wives have been continually on the rise since the 80s... when I went to the museum I was astounded by the amount of families with white men and black women. So to help you understand my point, it seems that black men have embraced the caricature image of black women; while white men are growing families with black women, of all shades, who may or may not look like that...Most of these men are of means (wealthy) while others just have a net worth that exceeds that of a black households even if the man only has a high school degree. (I make this reference to indicate because they can choose anyone in money-obsessed America) Some of the black women are of means, as well, but have tired of waiting for some black men to "shake it off" . Those women took their wealth and heritage elsewhere..(For some reason, Chaz Ebert and Serena just popped into mind). These white men aren't transient, they have extended /(returned) their roots into Africa via Black women have the mtDNA that traces back to Africa. Only she can pass it to her offspring (male & female). So maybe it's a biological drive that causes these white men to see darkskinned black women differently. [Who knows. I like @Delano question on sexuality because it forces you to think about the drivers of the species] From my perspective, this speaks to the mental effects of racism and how the victor will divide and conquer to continue their legacy by any means necessary. During slavery in America and Europe this was a huge practice. Some offspring were legitimate heirs to nobility others were just used to create offspring... Today the families are joining legally and leaving a different legacy... I live in the south now, and I see these families all the time. Heck, my twin daughters from my ex-husband are French-German yet, they carry my East African mtDNA and will pass it on... If Prince Harry (6th in-line to the throne) marries Meghan Markle - his ascendants will have created an ancestral tie to the Motherland through Meghan - her mother is of African "ascent"..(that's how the British royalty speak of their heritage - one ascends not descend.) But I digress, white people use racism to cloud the mind because they play long game. Just imagine having the forethought to make sure your family line has ancestral claim to the Motherland ...

@Troy, Your colors pop and are appealing. Your smile and voice are inviting and you look comfortable surrounded by books.... One critique: Please listen to hear not just to respond...Even if the subject is off topic, cross talk between the host and the guest invites viewers into the conversation. We tend to pay more attention to two people having conversation than one person giving a lecture.

Having done the research before I wrote my response I stand by what I've written. Once you do your own research on why the laws were enacted - then my answer will make sense to you.

@Pioneer1, I've never experienced an "overseer" so I may be to liberal in my use of the definition -but this feels like you believe in doing the work of those who seek to oppress. What people choose to wear is their choice. If someone chooses to make a caricature of someone's style - that ignorance is THEIRS and theirs alone.. not the person wearing the style. I'm glad those young women are ignorant (as in unaware) of the caricature of Aunt Jemina - at least they aren't tainted by self-hate and it won't take up room in their head.

In building your syllogism, it contained logical fallacy "False Analogy" False Analogy Definition: In an analogy, two objects (or events), A and B are shown to be similar. Then it is argued that since A has property P, so also B must have property P. An analogy fails when the two objects, A and B, are different in a way which affects whether they both have property P. As for the rest of your argument, not sure if you read completely through what I've written but I did address the rest of your assumptions. I rest my case.

@Troy After coming from the National Museum of African American History and Culture... I understand this depiction. I wouldn't have before visiting the exhibit. I was blown away by the workmanship and detail put into the artifacts - original cloth, homes, tents, all makeshift spoons, dishes, a hand stitched shawl that Harriet Tubman wore... These people were ENSLAVED and still took pride to make the best out of crap! According to some exhibits, they picked the cotton, ran the gins and had to make their own clothes from inferior fabric... so maybe if they smiled it was from the pride they took in their work. (shitty yes, but really awe-inspiring) @Pioneer1 So you fought to rid the "mammy image" that was created by someone who seeks/sought to oppress you, by denying black women agency to wear what they choose? Is that how you fight someone who oppresses you? By subjugating someone who is willing to fight along side you?

I don't think this was a point of contention. I was never in doubt that you were looking at her from a perspective of American Black man. I've heard that perspective all my life... So you can imagine how weird it was for me to learn some white men don't look black women that way... and those white men see us not as the caricature they created for the black male consumption but they see us dark skinned women who wear red lipstick and have full-bodied hair, as attractive and appealing.

This is one of those mindf-ck questions. Physically, I practice heterosexuality. I'm not sure if it was something I decided or decided for me when I chose to procreate naturally. Since one of those biological functions is to reproduce, I probably decided I'd go after boys and it became a habit. I like my life easy and that's probably on the soul level too so my drive to eliminate obstacles before they manifest is real. Spiritually, it doesn't matter because connection and intimacy is different on the spiritual plane.