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@Troy i have friends from across the globe. I have gone out with African, Dominican, European, Australian, Austrian and Nordic. I think you can ask the question in reverse. Why are Black women less intersted in a nerdy, thinking, democratic guy who likes to dance. I think about this because when i was younger i didn't like brothers who dated non Black. I think the main reason is that I am too laid back. Plus I'm idiosyncractic. I'm pretty democratic with looks and weight.there's got to be a vibe. People used ti ask me what is my type. My response was a woman with that indescribable thing. I went out with a dark skin sister that was 5'5" and 95 pounds and a light skin sister that was almost double that weight. I guess for me i used to pick women the same way i picked friends. Interest. When i was younger I was into clubbing and the artsy fartsy crowd. If i was in Atlanta i probably woyld have dated more sisters.

I would say there are more difference within than between the races.

Wait? @Troy How did I get into this one LOL! I was doing my best to stay out of this controversial topic. But since you called my name... the last year I was proposed to by a black man was 2013... and practically every year prior to that of my adult years. Well, not while I was married. I was off the market then. But even before my divorce was final it was a white man who proposed that year. But I do know what this woman is talking about, unfortunately, and I've dated some real "good black man catches" ... In fact, one GBM couldn't make it into town but put me on his guest list for one these exclusive club here in Atlanta. He wanted me to go and enjoy myself with everything on his account. It was all arranged I just couldn't see myself going on a date alone because I knew what type of life I was setting myself up for. But that's the level he was operating on... . I've dated some trashy BM/WM/LM too. I married a white man but he was exactly what I needed in my life at the time. I needed to get over my black baby daddy who was the love of my life but our affair was far too tumultuous for my maturity level. Still, to this day, I would label him a good black man. We were just star-crossed. I've dated the UN since I was 16 years old and then my boyfriend was a bona fide Alabama white cracker and we were in love. So maybe that's why the sisters are salty - they've only dated or waited for Black Knights and for me knights come in different shades of black - from light white to dark black. I stay away from married men but like @Cynique mentioned they are an easy pick. I learned a few years ago, I'm not as open as I thought I was. I like honesty and I was hedging (I think that's the correct term) into in a polyamorous relationship when I figured out, I don't like to share men. I'm not a jealous type though I'm a serial monogamist. But chile puh-lease, don't get me started. I love the inner intensity of black men - they smolder white hot internally,and are exciting! White men burn hot externally and Latin men are just fire (too much fire to be exact and us as a couple is dangerous liaison because I have a bad temper when unleashed.) I came close to dating an Asian man but I can't remember why it didn't continue. I learned getting any of those dudes to propose means you practically must become a chameleon and morph into their ideal... I was good at that which is why I got so many proposals but from my experience black men were the most difficult to convert from single to married. I did turn a few but they were the most difficult. Maybe it's because black men are used to down home cooking and the other men aren’t. I made mashed potatoes, green beans, pork chops smothered in an onion gravy for the white guy (One I mentioned up there) he disappeared for about two-three weeks -I thought damn maybe I shouldn't have cooked for him. When he resurfaced, it was with a proposal with conditions. I had to promise to give him one son. I was like dude I have 3 daughters and there's no guarantee and I just can't take that chance. So, we ended. Most of my relationships ended when it came to the prospect of having more children or me keeping up the charade. There are very few men I know of any shade that are interested in marrying fat and out of shape women. I know some women don't like to hear that but for most of men, aesthetics matter - men like looking at and waking up to pretty...just like women like looking at and waking up to gorgeous/handsome. So, I don't know why any of us trip when it comes to looks. Anyway, what I've learned about black men is what most married women know. The BM I’ve dated don't want to be controlled or conquered they want to be won over. That's a dance within itself. The fact that those men on the panel have been married multiple times speaks to this point. Black Men want to be married (I learned that the hard way). It's been my experience that most men want to be married. So, not sure what this battle is going on between the sheets... and that woman's statistics don't match the U.S. census figures - so she may be talking about eligible single BM with a certain amount of wealth and education in comparison to women of equal stature.

Cynique in reaction to, "I don't know that black men have earned the right to judge how black women decide to have themselves portrayed." Point taken.

@Mel Hopkins that was quite a testimony you shared with us about your love life, certainly in keeping with your atypical black experience, something that you have shaped and which has shaped you with the aid of your self awareness and insight into human nature. It seems so simple and obvious that if woman wants to snare a man she has to create a need for her by being the personification of what he wants. But this truism can be lost on black women whose self absorption has become a defense mechanism and whose independence can be intimidating to black men and their fragile egos. These men aren't really into the self-sacrifice that black women are called upon to make. And they don't have to be, considering the ratio between eligible black males and the black females in competition for them. So, it is hard out there for a single sista. She might do better to employ reverse psychology by telling a man she's not interested in getting married, thereby making herself a challenge whose mind he wants to change. @Troy Xeon may have been a little hard on you. i don't think you hate black women, but you do hate the media and you showed your love for black women with your implication that TIME was exploiting Viola Davis who did, after all, consent to the pose and the artistic concept of her TIME cover. I don't know that black men have earned the right to judge how black women decide to have themselves portrayed. @Del i think you make an important point about how chemistry between 2 people can transcend all of the racial overtones and psychological implications and sociological influences of the black mating game. Some times people just click! (Maybe because they knew each other in another life. )

Twin, @Delano, I had to give you props! You hit 2-3 of my soft spots! I'm a nerd, nerd-lover and I'm a dancing queen...I don't drink, do drugs or smoke but I will go clubbing to dance the night away. When I worked as a flight attendant, during one Denver layover, I met up with a facebook friend and he took me to this place called the "beauty bar " OMG!!! The DJ played old school soul music from 9 - 2 am! I never left the floor. The next day, I had a flight back to O'Hare, I told the Captain I had danced all night at this club. Don't you know when I deplaned, I was met for a drug test!!! Dude ratted me out but I was clean - and still floating that I had an opportunity to get my dance on.

@Troy In May 2017, the former president, Mr. Obama pledged and donated 2 MILLION DOLLARS "toward two Chicago programs that provide summer jobs and apprenticeships," Mr. Obama "cited the city's violence and the need to "reach young people who might be at risk if they don't have something to do during the summers." THAT IS PERSONAL CASH FROM THE OBAMAS !!! Maybe you should start researching and "Stop talking" when it relates to Barack Obama. Every time you refer to him you make it clear that you don't know of his accomplishments as president nor do you know of his activities now that he's left office. There's an obvious blind spot when it comes to him so maybe you should leave him out of your conversation.

Thank you Troy Mel and Cynique.

Del that last point was probably more important than you realize. Perhaps that is true because there are more differences genetically, within the so-called "races" than there are between. One of the great failings of western cultures is the creation of so-called racial differences. It creates unnecessary strife. Mel I did not mean to drag you into this but of course, your comments are always prized.

“Well, right off the bat, you make an subjective statement about the engagement between the posters on this board, and it gives a clue as to how black men and women see things. You said that you were attacked by us women for saying the photo of Viola was racist and that we accused you of hating on back women. Not exactly true. I, myself, was saying that you guys considered a smiling picture of a typical looking dark-skinned black woman as a caricature and posted a grotesque picture of "Wanda" and other coonish black characters in an attempt to make your point, blaming the media instead of your preconceived notions of how black women should be made to look in order to win white respect.To me, this gives a clue as to how black women are always on the defensive and black men are insensitive to them and hyper-sensitive to white motives.” Nice! I could not have articulated it better! The adolescent reactionary racist hysteria to Ms. Davis’s photo on the cover of Time magazine is sickening and indefensible. I will not further my opinion beyond that because I have already posted it. But I love the accuracy and clarity of your commentary. But I will say this and move on, I presented the photo to two women yesterday, one was black and the other was a Latina. Which one do you think had nothing but derision and scathing negative comments while the other (who knew of Ms. Davis’s acting) thought the picture was natural, showed her in an instant of warranted jubilation and stated she saw nothing negative about the photo? As far as this so-called relationship expert(?) conference focusing on black male/female relationships, a ratio of 18-1 (total lie!) and the alleged black women’s exhausting struggle to find good black men…well…out of respect for the members of this forum, I will refrain from giving my exhaustive opinion. By doing so I would torch this board and probably get banned. I find these so-called symposiums and conferences of the black women whining about a so-called lack of good black men to be a sham, a pathetic and embarrassingly desperate attempt for attention and self-aggrandizement. E’nuff said…..

Troy....man you KNOW what you're doing when you start threads like this. Lol....you know....you DO know....lol. But a couple questions.............. 1. What qualifies one as a "good" Black man? The term "good" means different things to different people and what a man may considered "good" in a man may not be what women consider good. Furthermore..... 2. For over 30 years we've heard about the lack of good Black men, but what if I were to declare there was an equal lack of "good" Black women too !? The men are in part shaped and formed by the women who gave birth to them, so if there's a lack of good men then what does that say about the women who produced them? There's too much complaining and waiting going on and not enough planning and engineering. At some point as a community we're going to have to decide what type of traits the majority of us (because ALL of us will never agree) would like to see in the opposite sex and start trying to develop these traits in our children so that they'll have them when they become adults. ....instead of letting people grow up wild like weeds and then complaining about them afterwards.

@Troy I am not an apologist for Obama just like i wasn't an apologist for Hillary Clinton. They are who they are, but they had some visible credentials that i considered better than their opponents and they also had "documented" accomplishments. I am not that into Farrakhan because i am removed from his influence. i don't know any Black Muslims in particular, or any of the alleged millions whose lives have been turned around by them. Or have I seen any programs that they have put in place that have improved things for the inner city blacks. I do know that Farrakhan admittedly looked the other way when the decision was made to assassinate Malcolm, and he gives long rambling speeches and that he organized a Million Man march that was all style and no substance and he plays classical violin. And i have heard from other blacks that the FOI members intimidate rank-and-file followers who don't get with the program.. What is it you're saying that i got from the media? Yes, everybody has their flaws and no leader is perfect, including the ambitious opportunist Barack Obama who was, indeed, a president who was black man, not a black man who was president. He, like Farrakhan, was glib and charismatic and had a large devoted following of black people. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X were also charismatic eloquent leaders who inspired huge, faithful followings. Then, there's the smooth articulate hustlers Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, .. And, of course, Black Panther firebrand .Fred Hampton. Yet, in the year 2017, the black underclasses are regressing, their own worst enemies, the ongoing victims of a system that remains broken. Soooooo, in my quest to be a truth-seeker and a realist, i just look at the big picture and am no longer inspired to get excited about any famous black leader. (And living in the close proximity of Chicago and the daily toll of blacks killing each other, really reinforces my nihilism.) Farrakhan's rant in that video resonated with me because i agree with what he said, as anybody who respects the truth would, and this is why i'm detached from this country, unlike other blacks who doggedly continue to hope that they will win the love of America and are grateful for being allowed to live and make money and own property here. As has been said, America is a great country, not a good one. Farrakhan could be labeled a black leader, "resting on his laurels". Now you and Pioneer pull yourselves together and quit enabling my iconoclasm.

@Pioneer1 200,000,000??? I don't think so.You are quick to discount Obama's substantiated record but continue to rattle off a litany of all the vague miracles that Farrakhan has performed. Whatever. The black community is in crises and the plight of young black inner city men is worse than it has ever been. Farrakhan's influence has no longevity and he fiddles while the ghettos burn. His legacy doesn't seem to have legs. The black kids who are doing the best are the children of the middleclass where islam and its leader have few in-roads. i am, however, aware of that many people share your and Troy's great admiration for Farrakhan but, truth-seeker that i am, i remain skeptical of slick, silver-tongued, charismatic cult leaders who live lives of luxury and rule their sheeple with an iron fist that is reinforced by a core of henchmen. They're a lot of these false prophets out there in the religious community. (right, harry brown? ) So, in keeping with my alienation from the country you revere, i really couldn't care less about the minister you you idolize. He just provides me with another chance to be an iconoclast.

My point is results speak louder than claims. Not all missions are accomplished.