Reflections

[aka Contrarian]

As my 92nd birthday approaches on August 18th, I have drifted into a reflective mood. At this point in my journey I'm experiencing a need to look back and reflect, even as I wonder if I'll  make it to August 18th, considering how much my health has deteriorated during the past few months, a situation that renders me  as ready as I'll ever be to blow this pop stand.  This ol world is currently so screwed up and, imo, on a collision with what I think will be changes so drastic that I will be out of my element.  So, whatever.

 

All the points of view and personal philosophies of those who regularly post here, especially as it pertains to the black condition, have inspired me to put myself in perspective and share my thoughts when it comes to  where I fit on the black spectrum.

Bear with me because this is probably my swan song, and I may ramble. Hopefully, however, something learned  about the caliber of my blackness wiil be enlightening when it comes to examining   the multi-faceted nature of black America.

 

I have always described myself as a "hybrid" descendant of slaves. That's my tribe. And it's a HoHum passive one.

 According to Ancestry.com, my blood lines include Irish, German, Native American and, last but not least, African by way of the Sierra Leone region of Nigeria. I do not consider the Atlantic Ocean my  homeland because my ancestors obviously reached and landed in America, and were transported  to the North Carolina location of what had been one of the country's most prolific slave markets. And the rest is my history.

My genesis begins in the territory that originally belonged to the native American tribes like the Osage one which my paternal Grandmother was descended from.

.

Both my paternal and maternal great grand parents were born into slavery, the women folk, typically raped by their white slave masters...

My forebears have always identified themselves as colored, negro, black, depending on the era, and I have never strayed from or had any desire to identify myself as anything other than a non white person who has no delusions about the treachery and guile of the ruthless men who established the White Power Structure that controls the globe.

The most negroid thing about me is my hair, having once had an abundant, bushy crop  which lent itself very well to an afro style which I affected during the 1960s when I felt compelled to establish my "negritude", (a popular term back in those days.)

And, when it came to the civil rights movement, although I was not an activist out there demonstrating in the streets, in my own personal way via the Op/Ed pages of 2 of Chicago's major newspapers, I was very supportive of those courageous enough to put their lives on the line to secure equality for all. 

I consider myself, for want of a better term, a "soul sista", very comfortable in my skin, having no great affinity for Interacting on a regular basis with Caucasian Americans. I am  a  product of the middleclass black bougeoise values that I was raised with, having no illusions about the superficial materialistic aspects of this designation.

Paradoxically and inexplicably, I harbor a great revulsion for right-wing conservative black Republicans, and I despise Donald Trump and his Maggots!

 

I was born in 1933 and grew up in the small town suburb of Chicago where my parents settled in 1922 as part of the first wave of the Great Migration of Negroes leaving the south, seeking a better life up north and, uniquely, even in those pre- civil rights years, I always resided in mixed neighborhoods, always  attended integrated schools  and, as part of the great Civil Service work force, always held jobs working side-by-side with white co-workers.

So, my mutated homo sapien "cousins" are no strangers to me. I neither like nor dislike them, opting to just judge them on an individual basis, always keeping my guard up.

My politics are a reflection of my core personsality. I am a Moderate Liberal, not a militant radical progressive because I'm too cynical to take seriously these erratic types with self-serving agendas.

 

I have never been ambitious because I'm lazy and don't like too much responsiblity or anything difficult or demanding, just content to do  enough to get by. I am not proud to confess that I have gone through life, avoiding anything that required great effort on my part. I am lazy and unmotivated, only good and creative at things that interest me. I do, however, lean toward the aesthetic, profound spititual things in life and this includes liberty and  justice for all. 

I have lived through the terms of 15 presidents and can honestly say that the administration of whomever was in office never greatly impacted on my personal day- to-day life. I've managed without even trying, to stay under the radar and - get by.

I retired from the US Post Office in 1992 after 30 years of service so I have been retired longer than I worked, collecting a substantial pension replete with COLA  raises, receiving money every month for doing nothing other than waking up every morning.  

If a problem exists when it comes to my black status it stems from  my objectivity coupled with an affinity for the whole truth, 2 traits lacking in   "gung ho" black chauvanists. 

This has led me to "divorce" on the grounds of incompatibility, the black race as it exists in the judgment of those who seek to mold it exclusively in their personal image, focusing on what in my judgment, amounts  to merely chasing their tails when it comes to effectiveness.

 

So, It is what it is, and I am what I am, -  someone who will leave this earth, strong in my conviction  that I am as authentically black as the most passionate chest beater.

I close by acknowledging that,  black is beautifully bountiful but -  there are 2 sides to every coin.

 

And so it goes...

[Troy]

I Love You  

 

Am I the only one on this forum who has ever met you in person?  I’m still kicking myself for not spending more time with you that evening in Chicago almost a decade ago.

 

 

Even when this picture was taken, you had been participating on the forums for 12 years! I think you’re the only person here who has firsthand knowledge of that guy named Thumper. 

 

After more than two decades of participation, here I believe other than myself, you have the longest tenure of any active poster.
 

In my opinion, you have enriched this forum in many ways and more than any other person. 
 

You also set the bar high demonstrating what a 90+ year old person can do when it comes to technology, writing, keeping up with pop culture, politics, and despite a little cynicism maintaining a sense of humor.

 

It is hard to imagine how quickly time has flown by and how fleeting life is. 
 

Happy birthday!

[ProfD]

@aka Contrarian, thanks for contributing your perspective, thoughts, opinions, zingers and insults, etc., to this coffeeshop on the internet that is AALBC. 

 

I always enjoy the exchange of perspectives regardless of whether we agree or not.  That goes for each every one of you who contributes regularly. 

 

Of course, the coffeeshop would be incomplete without the hilarity that ensues from virtual dust-ups.

 

Regardless of age, each and every last one of us is getting closer to the finish line than starting a new race. 

[Troy]

By the way, anybody that worked the job long enough to retire from it and raise a family is not “lazy.”
 

You are human.

 

Many people have driven themselves to an early grave stressing over this thing or the other worrying about money keeping up with the Joneses stressing over what other people think of them.

 

During one of my first jobs out of school, someone from the HR department told me that their pension fund was quite strong because the average retiree only collected a pension for four years. Even in my 20s that stat alarmed me.

 

I felt like there had to be more to life than being some corporate tool.
 

30+years collecting a pension and living comfortably— That is great!

[Pioneer1]

On 8/5/2025 at 6:17 PM, Troy said:

 

I felt like there had to be more to life than being some corporate tool.

It may not be for YOU, but there's a need for it.

Everybody can't be business owners or do their own thing.
You need workers.....followers....foot soldiers.
People to take out the trash and make the beds or just do the office paperwork.
This is one of the reasons I no longer encourage most people to leave their 9-5's.

But speaking of pensions.....

One of the biggest tricks they played on the American workers was switching things over from pension plans to 401K.
Pensions were pretty much guaranteed while most 401K plans were tied to the stock market.

 

[Delano]

I have to say you critique and various comments about my personality and other had a profound effect on me. I think even Pioneer made a comment that actually had value for me. @aka Contrarian i feel a stronger affinity to your position since I am less interest in the outside world and more interested in the inner one. Which is making me se the falseness and certain realities in the external world. I also seem to have more synchronicities and magical moments. In addition just listening to people and them telling me who they actually are beyond the mask. I have said this before you are an unconscious Magician I have only met a few. So when you get to the other side pop into my dream and lets have a conversation,. If I am still interesting.

[aka Contrarian]

@TroyThanks for all your kind words. I appreciate the patience and support you've shown me throughout the years. I think the world of you!

 

@ProfDit's been fun and interesting engaging with you. You're a man of good character!

 

@DelanoI've enjoyed the unique bond we formed. You're special. See you in your dreams - if possible.

 

@Pioneer1They didn't have 401ks when I retired, so I'll take your word for the disadvantages they pose.

[Pioneer1]

Cynique

 

Nobody (including those who attempt suicide) really KNOWS when they are going to die.
They may have some estimation or idea, but don't truly know for sure.

 

You may end up out living everybody on this forum.

 

 

 

Whenever I don't hear from somebody for MONTHS at a time, it makes wonder what happened to them.
And even when they're posting, you don't know what kind of condition they're in or how they feel.

I still think about people I used to interact with on Discussion Forums from 20 years ago...lol.
Especially Black people from around the planet with different cultures and different ways of seeing things.
It taught me how strong of an impact MY words had on people and the impact of words and relationships with other human beings in general.

[aka Contrarian]

...what we do know is that the straw man is alive and well.

[Pioneer1]

 

 

[umbrarchist]

I just now got a link to the song. I had not scrolled to the bottom.

 

.

 

[Delano]

@aka Contrarian I think you'll be home for the holidays.

[aka Contrarian]

8 hours ago, Delano said:

@aka Contrarian I think you'll be home for the holidays.

I'm aiming for August 18th, my birthday. After that all bets are off. I'm currently focused on the quality of life rather than the quantity.

Screw longevity if your health is failing. 

Not to mention boredom. 

Cest la Vie.

 

 

[Delano]

5 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

I'm aiming for August 18th, my birthday. After that all bets are off. I'm currently focused on the quality of life rather than the quantity.

Screw longevity if your health is failing. 

Not to mention boredom. 

Cest la Vie.

 

 

I feel that you are working towards an answer to a question, or an understanding.

 

[aka Contrarian]

3 hours ago, Delano said:

I feel that you are working towards an answer to a question, or an understanding.

 

I am preoccupied with the question of whether or not there's life after death...

Obviously, there's only one way to find out - and  I have mixed emotions about that . 

 

Have never been a fan of The Supremes and Diana Ross with her nasal caterwalling. 

So thinking of a song I'd rather listen to does at least give me something  to ponder. 

Maybe Chaka Khan's rendition of "Through the Fire", keeping  Jesus in  mind. LOL.

 

[ProfD]

2 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

...Diana Ross with her nasal caterwalling. 

Diana Ross is an example of someone with a modicum of talent who mainly benefitted from carrying *favor* with the boss (Berry Gordy).

 

[Delano]

12 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

am preoccupied with the question of whether or not there's life after death

After you have the answer. You will be home for the holidays

[Troy]

On 8/10/2025 at 11:42 AM, Pioneer1 said:

You may end up out living everybody on this forum.

 

That thought occurred to me too. 

 

11 hours ago, Delano said:

After you have the answer. You will be home for the holidays

 

Wait, what? Do you mean "home" literally or metaphorically?

 

@aka Contrarian if you get the answer please share.

 

I think if we knew the answer, and if there was a chance things, would be better you'd have billions checking out within the year. 

[richardmurray]

Happy Besooned Birthday @aka Contrarian

As the comments from those, mostly whom you have never seen , proves you touched the lives of many in a positive way which means offline you have done even better, and that is far more positive than accomplish. Be safe, be well. Be certain you will be remembered.

[Delano]

5 hours ago, Troy said:

Wait, what? Do you mean "home" literally or metaphorically?

Yes

[aka Contrarian]

Am I doing anything  that all y'all havent done or aren't doing from time to time, yourselves?

Contemplating life after death is a common passtime!

We are all searching. The answer will just be revealed to some sooner than others. 

Those are the breaks...

 

I wish I had better things to do than to "crepe hang".

What I'm really lamenting is the loss of my stamina and, hence, my mobility, both of which have just  left me dangling in limbo. 

Well-meaning people keep assuring me that I'm gonna live to be 100! Puleeze!  Spare me that fate!

Meanwhile, I'll just wake up every morning until - I don't! Like everybody else. And, of course, check in here to break the monotony, - or add to it.

 

I post from my Android phone and this can be a challenge, but challenges can also be diversions

            zzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[ProfD]

7 hours ago, aka Contrarian said:

Am I doing anything  that all y'all havent done or aren't doing from time to time, yourselves?

Contemplating life after death is a common passtime!

We are all searching. The answer will just be revealed to some sooner than others. 

Those are the breaks...

I believe as people get older and/or face health challenges they do spend time contemplating their mortality.

 

However, there is no reason for relatively healthy, young people to spend an ounce of time or energy contemplating their mortality.

 

For younger folks, life is filled with promise; experiences and opportunities for them. They should focus on and enjoy it.

 

Of course, tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. That's even more reason why everyone should live their lives to the fullest for as long as they can.

 

There is not a whole lot of *fun* left in *being old* between health challenges and sick, dying or dead peers. Talking to them can even be depressing to some folks.

 

The amusement park of life is closing  The only thing left is that journey to the center of the universe. Such is the arc of life.

[Troy]

Well one can do both contemplate mortality AND enjoy life. 

 

16 hours ago, Delano said:

Yes

 

Well that one went over my head. Apparently Cynique, understood it was a joke given the emoji used.

[ProfD]

15 minutes ago, Troy said:

Well one can do both contemplate mortality AND enjoy life. 

Absolutely.  Especially as one reaches a certain age. 

 

I just would not encourage young people to contemplate their mortality.  Let them enjoy growing up. 

 

If they live long enough, there is plenty time to contemplate mortality.

 

The funniest sh8t is people who are not doing more than taking up space in life and believing they deserve to live forever.

[Delano]

I had to look up crepe hang. Nice. I thought I would be dead by 35. So I lived like I was going to die. I had a great time up to 36. 

One of my earliest memories is going to a funeral. I was also interested in Life after death. Recently I tried to figure out when I would die Astrologically. It appears to be around mid September. I happen to have a lot of time and I'm not really mobile. So I have even more time to think about life and how people relate. The current state of the world blah blah. The last 5 years is the first time in my life I wasn't hopeful that we have a viable future. Most people have more of a relationship with their phone than other people. The other day I asked a stranger for help tightening my leg brace. We sat down and talked for a couple of hours before her flight back to Zurich. We had a deep conversation about relationships. So we have a date to go to Newcastle Australia in a year. Maybe it happens but it was encouraging to meet a like minded soul. Since I had given up the on meeting people that were more interested in exploring life than living on their phones. The irony is that I am sharing this online as opposed to a physical friend. 

@aka Contrarian I can relate to your sediments ((not an error(the word is intentionally, but the sentence may not be an accurate expression of your position))

[aka Contrarian]

@DelanoI'm becoming more and more hooked on what my sister, who died much too soon at age 60, liked to suggest: that life is a dream that we wake up from when we "die". 

 

Dreams have taken on a greater significance at this point because they fill my sleeping hours, always bringing to mind Poe's poem:

             All that we see

             or seem, 

             Is just a dream

             within a dream.

 

                    zzzzzzzzz

[Mel Hopkins]

 

@Cynique @aka Contrarian  

You are a treasure!

[aka Contrarian]

 

@Mel HopkinsThank you! You're pretty special, yourself. A rare, delightful spirit. Knowing you is a privilege!