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NubianFellow

Black Women Are Beautiful Naturally

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Black women are beautiful by default. It is a wonder why black women feel compelled to wear weave and wigs to cover up their natural beauty. But I can't scold them for their behavior as I realize this is a self esteem issue that's pretty obvious across the board. Black man have insecurities when it comes to who they are as well. As a Black man I faced my own insecurities because I always felt like I was supposed to base my own standards off of the images I saw appear in magazines and mass media. Reflecting back, I feel like every black person is conflicted at some point in their lives and feel inadequate.

 

Though the new conscious thing to do is put down Black women because they wear weaves, the behavior speaks differently. Somehow a social war has been engineered that started online and went viral in life where black men seem at odds with black women. Many have stated that women of other races are treating them better and proclaiming that they are more attractive. The sad part is that they have no idea why there own views have changed. they don't realize the social impact of social media that allows this behavior to be prevalent. I don't think it is by mistake.

 

Black women are indeed beautiful and in my opinion they are the most beautiful.

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Think about it. Black women have been told for centuries that their bodies were not attractive because they were naturally curvy. Now that technology has advanced, women of all races and cultures get implants so they can mimic the features that are found on the beautiful black woman. From lip injections to butt implants, they want these features badly. However, it seems that black women are so used to being told that they are inadequate, they reject their own self worth so they can be included with the beauty standards of others. This leads to the popularity of weaves and wigs being sold which make them appear less black, though many would argue that it's only a fashion statement and that they only wear weaves so they can protect their natural hair. This type of protection has lead to parasitic as well as bacteria infections. It's far from protective styling because what are they actually protecting their hair from? Sunlight? Oxygen? Moisture?

 

I dream of the day when black women wake up and realize that they are truly beautiful. Once they do this and take more pride in their identities, others will imitate them like they always do anyway. But this will take time and Black women will need to learn that they are already beautiful and don't need to conform to a standard of beauty that they were never meant to conform to. Weave is whack!

 

The most saddest thing I have to endure is seeing a black woman wear a silly and ugly weave on her hair and hide her actual hair that is 1000 times more beautiful. Black hair is unique and it just goes with us. These weaves and wigs actually look pretty ridiculous but unfortunately society has accepted this look as a standard of beauty but black women are already beautiful.

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All Black women need to do is notice the beauty that they possess. Why is this important? Black women need to get back pride and self esteem. Black women have soldiers to raise. Black women should not feel inadequate in any way, shape or form because they need to be empowered and make sure their children see them in the best light. The children they raise need to see pride and confidence beam off their mothers so they can take their mothers more seriously. The black boys they raise need to see their mothers true beauty and appreciate it so they will not be conflicted when it is time for them to choose their wives. The reality is that a high percentage of these women who will become or are already mothers will be raising their children alone; sometimes with help but with no help most of the time according to some statistics.

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The next generation of black children deserve to be empowered as much as they truly can be, and that empowerment that they gain from their parents is invaluable. Let's at least teach our future daughters that there is no hair on earth as special as theirs and teach them to love their natural hair. Let's teach them to love being black. This doesn't mean that they have to hate anyone else, it just means that they know how to actually love themselves.

 

 

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I've heard it all before. Black men wanting to dictate to black women how they should present themselves, always accompanying this advice with a lot of psycho-babbo lectures about "self-hate".  But who is to say that it isn't about "self-love" when a black woman gives herself a do-over that makes her feel better about herself? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can ramble on and on about sistas being brainwashed into accepting European standards of beauty and, in an effort to make your point,  inaccurately classify all black women as being buxom and voluptuous, mistakenly  implying that all white women are scrawny and flat chested, but the fact of the matter is that women of all colors come in all shapes and forms, and have many different grades of hair, and they all aspire to replicate the most popular standard of perfection.  And that includes the woman pictured above with the dyed blond hair-do that looks like somebody dumped a plate of scrambled eggs on her head.  

 

Nowadays black women rock any style that appeals to them, many sporting braids entwined with synthetic extensions to make them longer. Until black men  get their own acts together they should just chill and exercise the option to only  choose from the type of woman whose looks personally appeal to them.

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If there was an outbreak of a disease in the black community, wouldn't you want the disease to be cured sista? If I see a lion imitating a wolf then I would probably see something wrong. Black women are beautiful without weave, wigs, plastic surgery or any of that other garbage. It's time black women wake up and reclaim their power and authority. For too long black people have been asleep and it's time for a massive wake up. We all wake up at our own pace but desperate times call for desperate actions. Black women need to wake up now! It's necessary. We have soldiers and warriors to raise. The buffoonery that is commonly now accepted in the black community must die out on all fronts. Black woman refers to melanated women who have African ancestry. It doesn't refer to any other group or race and we don't have to be ashamed of being associated with black.

 

While I agree that black women should be able to wear any styles they prefer, they should only prefer their own grade of hair. What's so bad about black women wearing hair they were born with?

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Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair. 

Dick Gregory. 

 

What the time and cost ratio of hair care to education. 

 

@NubianFellow the world you are envisioning sounds restrictive to  self determination. 

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@Delano The argument I keep hearing is that it is only hair. But black people seem clueless as to the psychological warfare that is being used against us daily. It never fails...

 

"Why do I have to shop at a black owned store? It's just food!"

"Why can't I lighten my skin? It's just a fashion statement."

"Why do I have to be black? That word is actually racist. We were already here. We are the true Indians!"

"There is no such thing as black on black crime anymore than white on white crime."

 

We have to stop making excuses for our buffoonery because we are passing that behavior to our kids who will end up with similar thinking. And I don't think I am being too strict when I say that our line of thinking hasn't done much for our predicament in the last 400 years so maybe it's time to change some of that thinking.

 

You think hairstyle doesn't have anything to do with our thinking? That sounds a little naive.

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@NubianFellowYes, but the natural do is often a sham such as when braids are entwined with artificial hair extensions to make them longer or the greatest buffoonery of all, bleaching the hair blond, not to mention Afro wigs made of synthetic fiber.  It's not what's on top of your head, it's what's inside of it.  Wearing your hair natural is no guarantee that your children will grow up to be exceptional and productive. Check out the mug shots of black perpetrators.  Appearance is superficial, -  all about hiding behind a facade. This also applies to white people who you seem to think are immune from the human foibles that make all of us flawed or insecure.   A person is their own representative.  A black person in this country proves nothing by embracing the burden of their race, except that they're a glutton for punishment or are seeking martyrdom.  The bottom line is money.  When you have it or acquire it, then that's the best you can hope for in an America that is becoming increasingly diversified.  It's a new day.  Black dreams have not come true. And with good reason.

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I agree about what you said in regards to embracing the burdens of the black race and about the bottom line being money. But you said that it's not about what is on your head and that's not true. If that were the case, weaves wouldn't sell like hotcakes in our neighborhoods in the first place. Most black people seem to think hair is greatly important. Black people are the most insecure people on the planet. I believe the fact that 90 percent of black women wear weaves supports that fact. Let's face it, slavery happened virtually yesterday so we are doing very good considering, but let's not lie to ourselves and try to purport that we do not have a problem here. We do. The self esteem issue with black women has blossomed out of control.

 

There was a viral video about a baby being given weave and modelling herself. Once the weave was taken away, she cried unbearably. Once it was given back to her she happily continued modelling her animal hair. All this while the mother was laughing in the background. That doesn't sound to you like black women have a problem? Look, the truth of the matter is that the men have huge problems as well so trust me sis.... I am not gender baiting. This isn't a "men are better than the women" point I am trying to make. It's about us as a people and the brainwashing that needs to be undone. It's about the fact that black people have made everyone else their gods and role models and where does that leave us?

 

In my perfect reality, yes, I would love to see beautiful black women value their natural beauty and stop imitating everyone else. I would like to see black people comfortable in their own skin as proud African people who all have common ancestry in Africa. If we don't call ourselves black then we should be calling ourselves African with no attachments. But it appears to me that more often than not, black people try to escape their reality of who they are. And this is so dangerous.

 

I am concerned more with what's inside someone's head than what's on it and that's the point. I wonder what is inside a black women's head who wears a white women's weave, contact lenses, denies her African identity but just happens to be educated. Is she valuable as a black woman? Believe it or not, there are actually women out here who have abandoned their true selves. I have seen young women scream and cry when their weaves or wigs are pulled off of their hair and their natural unkempt hair is exposed, with who knows what living on their heads. These same women are raising their daughters to exhibit this same behavior.

 

And while yes, we could ignore this behavior and say to ourselves it's their heads and we shouldn't be concerned, the fact of the matter is that it's a very serious problem and right now in this point in time, black people have every right to be very concerned.

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In the first place, you don't go out and buy a weave.  You go to a hair dresser and have it installed, a process that takes hours. Hair extensions are different from weaves and can be purchased and easily added or removed; just like make-up. Wigs are even more versatile, available to wear whenever the urge hits you. These are all common fashion accessories.  Second place, black women are not the only ones who wear wigs or add extensions to make their hair fuller and longer.  White women in great numbers wear extensions, too, and they are copying black women who were doing this first.  it's all about a woman's vanity. About glamour and flair.   And it ain't that serious. Enhancing your hair style has no effect on your intellect. Michelle Obama is one example of this. Fixating on females doing what they've always done dating back to the ancient Egyptians is a waste of time.  You need to get your priorities in order.  You are stuck in a mindset that does not resonate with America as it exists in 2019.   

 

As for black people embracing who they really are. After 400 centuries in this country, who are they? They are hybrids with Caucasian and Native American blood lines in addition to African ones.  They are a new breed and it's natural for them to assimilate into the mainstream where  they are often trend  setters, not imitators of white people. You are too concerned with the superficial.    We are in an age of the individual, and more and more black people are gravitating  to a "doing you" approach.  I repeat it's all about diversity. Afro-centricism is a subset that stifles rather than expands one's flexibility. 

 

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Both AfroAmerican men and women can stand to improve themselves, but since this thread is about Black women in particular let me say........

From what I've both heard and observed, the issues so many AfroAmerican women face concerning their perceived "unattractiveness" has less to do with how they LOOK and more with how they ACT and sound.  Many Black American women...as opposed to Black women from Africa or other parts of the globe.....are perceived as being more aggressive and vulgar and THIS tends to detract from their attractiveness far more than their skin tone or hair texture. 
Evidence of this is how the blackest and kinkiest haired woman from Africa can come to the United States and easily find a husband (usually White) so attracted to her and inlove with her he's willing to put her up in a home, have children by her, and shower her with expensive gifts as well as send money back home to her family.

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It's not so much being Afrocentric as it is noticing a flaw in the black community. I understand your argument. Back in the 80's, similar arguments were made about black men wearing perms and jerry curls. Eventually, that got played out too once black men saw how ridiculous this behavior was. It took them a while to wake up as well. In Jamaica and other black nations they are saying that skin lightening cream is only a fashion statement and there is nothing wrong with it as well. We can make light of many of our habits but like I said, this goes deeper than wearing a hairstyle.

 

Outsiders have profited immensely off of the insecurities and dysfunction of black behavior. They have pretty much colonized Africa who welcomed these outsiders with open arms and smiles and giggles. Now they are losing electric companies, government properties and accumulating more dept than they begin to understand. They do all this while the same people they oppress strive to identify with outsiders culture and heritage, so much that they lose their own. When we identify with others, we lose a part of ourselves which seems innocent at first, but then it spirals out of control. Once the damage is done, you realize that we have not moved forward, but only backwards.

 

I don't think it's so extreme to mention that black women have taken this weave wearing to another level, so badly that I hardly see black women wearing their natural hair and it's a breath of fresh air when I do. The behavior is a terrible flaw in the community and though I agree it is not the only issue that we face in the black community, but it is still an issue that needs to be corrected.

 

Black women are not just wearing weave, they are neglecting their own hair and using the weave to literally replace their natural hair so they can appear to look different than how they were designed. The flip side is that black women in droves on social media seem to be complaining that black men are abandoning them for outsiders, when the truth is, if any of that is remotely true, then aren't they just going after the real thing and not a knock off? Could they be thinking that "black women are not naturally beautiful because if they were naturally beautiful then they would not have to hide their own beauty to imitate other's beauty?" Perhaps some do think this way.

 

Consider a young black boy who grows up seeing his mom altering her appearance to appear more white (children do pick up on these things and are a lot smarter than we give them credit for being) who believes that his mother looks prettier when she puts on a weave or wig that makes her look less black and more like someone else. This child will never admire the natural beauty of a black woman most of the time because all of his life he saw his mother imitating someone else beauty, which must be the ultimate standard of beauty in his mind. Now consider a nation of kids with these thoughts. Now consider every black child in the world who repeatedly see black women trying their best to look like women who are not black... it could be something so dramatic that it changes black people or African people and how we see blackness forever!

 

That's exactly what I see happening and we can make excuses for this behavior all day long. I still see the same thing... black women who aren't satisfied with looking black. I have even seen black women put down other black women for not wearing a weave or a perm. The sickness is real. We may not want to call it a sickness but I'm calling it what it is. Some black women admit it's a sickness or insecurity but the majority will defend the behavior so they can feel justified. I will always call it buffoonery. 

 

Black women are beautiful as they are! Period!

@Pioneer1 The cases you describe only tell you the beautiful fantasy story. What this story leaves out is the fact that most black women who get involved in interracial relationships are abused and the kids usually grow up with complexes about their identities. These women end up more scarred from these experiences. It's pretty similar to the slave who wants acceptance. Though many fantasize about how much better things will be with outsiders, statistically, these fairy tales rarely exist in reality.

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3 hours ago, Delano said:

Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair. 

 

3 hours ago, NubianFellow said:

@Delano The argument I keep hearing is that it is only hair

 

2 hours ago, Cynique said:

It's not what's on top of your head, it's what's inside of it. 

Read between our lines.

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@Delano The biggest problem that I have is that some will feel like this discussion is about hair only. It's not about hair at all. Please read between those lines brother. At then end of the day I am only an African man with an opinion. This conversation is not about hair. Please understand that what we are talking about is much deeper than hair. How we present ourselves collectively to the world has a huge impact on how the world sees us and how the world responds to us. If we begin to normalize our insecurities, then we are doomed. I believe black women are beautiful no matter what, however, if we ever want to have a solid discussion about the impact of our behavior, let's at least try to understand that there may just be a problem here. It may be related to or caused by other problems related to how we collectively identify as a people. On the surface it may seem like "just hair." But in reality, the rabbit hole goes much deeper than hair.

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30 minutes ago, NubianFellow said:

@Delano The biggest problem that I have is that some will feel like this discussion is about hair only. It's not about hair at all

Yeah ok NubianFellow. Good luck with it all.

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@NubianFellow i don't know where you are looking around, but lots of black women are wearing their hair "natural"- wild and free to the point where doing so is reaching fad proportions.  Black women are actually trying out a lot of different looks alternating between natural and enhanced.  Some are even shaving their heads and going bald, something i'm sure you would approve of, even it this is not a  "natural".  And if you could adjust your view to being objective, you would have to admit that many black woman with weaves and wigs do not look unattractive; they merge with the look, and make it their own. And while we're at it, lots of black women are also making inroads into areas and professions that they have not heretofore been visible, and a strong argument can be made for there being a correlation between their progress and their independent spirit which encompasses how they choose to wear their hair.   Finally, when you judge a woman solely by how she looks, you are being shallow.  Nevertheless, if you are looking for  black woman who exemplify your preferences for the natural, there are plenty of them out and about. You are just wearing blinders.

 

And as much as you try to downplay your argument as not being about "hair", the implication is that embracing a natural hair style is in the vanguard of the image-changing that will reflect a return to our African heritage which, in turn, will lead the way to dismantling institutionalized racism, and changing the biased condescending attitude whites exhibit toward blacks. But white folks don't give a damn about how black folks look nor are they preoccupied with their own image, or interested in cloning their population to preserve their European appearance.  It's all about power and money, Bruh.  If you got it, it doesn't matter whether you wear a  Kenti cloth outfit or a designer label one and, what's more, if you've achieved financial success, this goes a long way toward feeling good about yourself. I earlier referred to you as being an iconoclast.  Alas, i have to re-think my opinion. You are clinging to old ideas, not shattering them.

 

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That was a great response @Cynique.

 

One thing struck me. It seems when you agree with Nubian he is shattering old ideas, but when you disagree he is clinging to old ones.

 

As you know we've been down this well worn path of Black women's hair before and I've adjusted my opinion as a result. However as @NubianFellow has asserted it is not just about the hair.

 

When I was in Nigeria, for example, every Black woman in a corporate environment wore a wig or weave -- and this us an environment where EVERYBODY is Black. The men wore suits despite 90 percent humidity and 90+ degree weather -- even if they were not in client facing roles. I also noticed skin lightening creams in the store.  

 

Here we have a Black nation rather than being in the vanguard of (re)defining Black style, they adhere fervently to western European cultural standards. 

 

This is not about just Black women's hair. So anyone who tries to make it only about Black hair is deliberately ignoring much broader implications. 

 

Oh course, my recent focus on corporate manipulation, comes into play here too. We all know women, of all colors, who feel bad about themselves because of the state of their hair, because of their failure to mimick some photoshopped-impossible-to-achieve standard.  Keeping women in the state of perpetual dissatisfaction gets them to spend more money -- which is all that matters.

 

You never hear men say the are "having a bad hair day," at least not yet. 

 

It is not just about hair; it is about those with wealth and power and how they control  all if us. The impact on our hair is a minor indication of much braoder issues of domination.

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Locks used to mean something, now it's a fashion statement. Nubian Fellow I had a look at your website page. Did you cut and paste the article about Black Women from your website and paste it here?

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@Cynique Many black women are wearing their hair natural more often, as there has recently been a natural hair movement that has even picked up heavily in South Africa and spread throughout West Africa. That pleases me but what does not please me is when a 12 year old black girl tells me that she wishes she was white so she could be beautiful and have long blond beautiful hair and pretty white skin. Truly a heartbreaking thing to hear from a girl you have spent hours empowering with history and facts about our past. At the end, social engineering ranks supreme. In my opinion, it is brainwashing on the highest level. Once you think about it, black people do not decide what is "politically correct." The media presents these ideas to us and we seem to follow along as if the media is our bible.

 

I never said some weaves don't look good. My problem with weaves is not even that black people wear them even though I feel they are ridiculous with the exception of entertainers who need to alter their appearance frequently to seem fresh. I get it. Weave has become sort of a sickness in the black community. Some women will never let someone else publicly see their hair. Though many women say that it has nothing to do with self esteem, this would be odd behavior. It's not a fashion statement. When you buy fashion, you simply take it off and chose another statement. Some women have had these weaves on their head so long that by the time they finally take them off, they have all types of bacteria crawling around on their heads. It's not natural and too often it's also unclean.

 

We can easily ignore many of the issues in the black community and make excuses for the behavior. Though it's not progressive, it is an option. We can even have a song and dance about how responsible white supremacy is for our behavior and predicament and this may be true to a degree. But there are things we can do to improve us. In my opinion, solutions don't get talked about enough in the black community. We seem bent on making excuses for our negative behavior and normalizing it.

 

Also, let me reiterate that I am not attacking black women. I am attacking a particular behavior in the black community that needs to be addressed. You said it should be more about what is in a person's head than what is on their head. My response is that what is on a person's head is a direct reflection of what is in their head.

 

This discussion is not about women who wear weaves not being attractive. I think all black women are attractive and I appreciate black women. My mother is a beautiful black women. All of the women in my family are beautiful black women. I'm not taking a whiz at black women. What I will say is that none of the women in my family or immediate circle wear weaves. I didn't even know about weaves until I went down south to attend school in Florida. Ironically, when I came back up North I noticed that weave was a real thing. Even more importantly, I noticed that it was not a fashion statement at all. It became a way of life.

 

Black women found a way to make themselves more attractive because that's what fashion is all about. You want to look your best right? The sad thing here is that black women believe that their straight long weaves that is nothing like their own hair is more attractive than the hair they were born with. This is the part of the discussion that no one wants to address. Of course, black women will argue that black women can have this same type of hair naturally as well but we know that is also uncommon.

 

I think the symbol of weave stands for something in the black community that is not good. I feel like the need for black women to wear weave is a weakness and symbol of self hate, most of the time. And how does it affect me? When millions of black women cover up their natural hair in favor of straighter, less kinkier hair, that hurts my feelings because in my eyes my own hair is more attractive than stringy long hair that mimics animal fur. This of course is my personal opinion but I really do believe that African people have the most attractive hair but I could be biased. If black people believed that themselves, then I am certain that everyone else would be spending their money trying to get our hair texture instead of the other way around. Like you said, we are naturally trend setters.

 

@Troy Thanks for pointing out that this goes way deeper than hair. " It is not just about hair; it is about those with wealth and power and how they control  all if us. The impact on our hair is a minor indication of much broader issues of domination. " - You said it all!

 

@Delano What I wrote on this post is fresh content but why do you ask? I have written a few articles about black women's hair and beautiful black women.

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Nubian both Cynique

20 hours ago, Delano said:

 

 

 

Read between our lines.

 

20 hours ago, Delano said:

 

On 1/27/2019 at 6:44 AM, Delano said:

Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair. 

 

On 1/27/2019 at 6:50 AM, NubianFellow said:

@Delano The argument I keep hearing is that it is only hair

 

23 hours ago, Cynique said:

It's not what's on top of your head, it's what's inside of it. 

Read between our lines.

@NubianFellow what do you think Cynique and I are saying?

On 1/27/2019 at 6:50 AM, NubianFellow said:

 

You think hairstyle doesn't have anything to do with our thinking? That sounds a little naive.

Are you intentionally being dense or are compound statements not comprehensible to you.

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@Delano Brother, I am just expressing that how we dress and see ourselves is a direct reflection of our thinking. I said the concept sounded naive. I did not say you were naive. I still believe that concept is a naive one. We can't separate the conscious actions of a person from the thought processes involved in making conscious decisions. If a man goes to his garbage can and puts garbage on his head because that is the fashion statement he wants to make then I think we better judge the thinking process behind the action. I hope that you can comprehend the point I am making, regardless of whether you agree or not.

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I know a professional, Black, female hairdresser very well.  She tells me that perming hair and using weaves is simply bad for one's hair.  She was quite adamant about it, and told me this without prompting.

 

Has anyone ever argued that perming your hair is not "bad" for it?  If it is bad for your hair, then why does anyone feel compelled to fight for the practice?

 

We all know that smoking kills more people than homicide and only evil or ignorant person would fight for people to continue doing it. There are even laws to greatly restrict the promotion of cigarette smoking, but none to make it illegal - why?

 

We all know wearing 5 inch heals is bad for your feet, but why do we do it?  Women have been convinced it makes them look sexy and men have been convinced of this too.  The only ones truly benefiting are the people who make and sell this harmful footwear.  How many of us know women that have actually had foot surgery that would be completely unnecessary were it not for their footwear.

 

It is silly to argue that this is an attack on women.  The fact of the matter is that women are much more of a target of, and harmed, by marketers. Women actually shop for fun and to make themselves feel better. Some some are compulsive shoppers -- who have purchased clothing they've never worn.  Sure there are some men who like to go to the mall to "shop," but we all know that women are much more likely to engage in the behavior.

 

And I know it is not ALL women. I doubt @Cynique, for example, is a shop-a-holic, or has a closet full of clothing with the tags still on them. But we all know such people and mst likely it is a woman.

 

Even the NFL have tapped into the female market convincing them to buy overpriced apparel and tickets to watch men play.

 

As with most issues, in this country, this is more about power than race.  But as with most things in here Black folks are disproportionately harmed.

 

16 minutes ago, Delano said:

Are you intentionally being dense or are compound statements not comprehensible to you.

 

This read like an ad hominem, I know you are better than that.  Honesty, when you write, "Read between our lines." I don't know what you are talking about and I don't think I'm being intentionally dense. I might be dense, but it not intentional LOL!

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9 hours ago, Troy said:

One thing struck me. It seems when you agree with Nubian he is shattering old ideas, but when you disagree he is clinging to old ones.

 

Well, obviously that's because i disagreed with his revering instead of shattering a long held belief about black hair as opposed to his discrediting religion's sacro-sanc status, something i agree with. Actually, "iconoclasm" works better as an adjective, as in "iconoclastic"; iconoclasm as a noun is what an iconoclastic person embraces when they shatter sacrosanct things.  i don't think anybody, including me, completely practices iconoclasm. We all have certain conventional tenets we don't attack.  

 

9 hours ago, Troy said:

It is not just about hair; it is about those with wealth and power and how they control  all if us. The impact on our hair is a minor indication of much braoder issues of domination.

 

23 hours ago, NubianFellow said:

This conversation is not about hair. Please understand that what we are talking about is much deeper than hair. How we present ourselves collectively to the world has a huge impact on how the world sees us and how the world responds to us.

@NubianFellow Well, if this conversation isn't about hair, i couldn't tell it by reading all of your posts wherein you obsess and rhapsodize ad infinitum about the glory of African hair, your effusive praise accompanied by pictures to illustrate your point, while I'm the one who is asking what's the big deal about hair.  Yet you and Troy insists this discussion is really about the masses being dominated and manipulated by America's powerful one-percenters. So what else is new? That's the name of the game in a capitalistic system.  Corporations and the media sell happiness and escapism and people buy this because it improves the quality of their mundane lives.  You lament that a little black girl wants to grow up and look like a white fairy princess. Why wouldn't she when fairy princesses are better off than African queens in this country?  You can't fix all the ills of this world.  But you can adjust and adapt.  And it's not like Black people in America don't  have a heritage that embraces their tenure in this country.  Their creative women figured out ways  to tame their hard-to-manage hair, and hairdressers with their straightening combs and curling irons and beauty shops hold a fond place in black culture.  Madame C.J. Walker amassed a fortune catering to her black sisters.  Furthermore, there are still a lot of things about themselves that black woman won't change or emulate.  They've still got attitude and confidence to spare. Actually black people in general don't really worship and revere white folks; they just envy all the advantages that they have.  It's presumptuous to think they are all bamboozled and brain washed. They're surviving and are not totally ignorant or lacking in self-esteem.  But i guess it's imperative to claim this when beating your breast on top of a soap box.  None of this, however,  detracts from your being a good guy.  That permeates your words.   

@TroyPerms and weaves damaging the hair is probably why extensions and wigs are replacing them. Extensions are what are used to implement  braided styles which are very popular, and wigs nowadays are so perfected, replete with hair lines and parts  that look so natural you can't tell they aren't real. (And, don't fool yourself, natural hair requires a lot of care and attention and products to maintain. ) 

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Troy that's a good question, what I was pointing out subtly to NF was our comments Cynique and myself mentioned the mind. While Nubian Fellow is going on about hair.

And then telling me it's naivet to think it's just about hair. 

Does that clarify it.

 

I have looked at Nubian Planet all the women are pinups. Does that represent all women. So only fit attractive women are beautiful. So iT's exclusionary and not exactly celebrating the beauty of all Black Women.

 

11 minutes ago, Cynique said:

We all have certain conventional ideas tenets we don't attack.  

What is my sacred cow Cynique? 

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Troy

 

I doubt @Cynique, for example, is a shop-a-holic, or has a closet full of clothing with the tags still on them.


Uh......actually.....she IS and she DOES.
And I know this for a FACT, because I know who gives her the money for this nasty habit, lol.

 

 

 

 

Cynique

 

You lament that a little black girl wants to grow up and look like a white fairy princess. Why wouldn't she when fairy princesses are better off than African queens in this country? You can't fix all the ills of this world. But you can adjust and adapt.

 

You can't adjust nor adapt to systematic destruction.

There is a well researched and well funded agenda to destroy the self-esteem and image of African people not only in this nation but around the globe.  What Nubian is detailing in this thread only covers a FRACTION of what's really going on.
There is even an agenda to marginalize the well established patterns and syntax of AfroAmerican speech/grammar in this nation's educational institutions.

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In addition I asked Nubian Fellow what thought about what Cynique and I said about the mind and hair .No response. 

Troy reread what I posted. The very first thing I said 

 

Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair. 

Dick Gregory. 

 

What the time and cost ratio of hair care to education. 

 

Cynique made a similar comment which NF didn't get. Then says the thought process is naive. Perhaps you should reread Cynique last comment with my statements in mind.

He answered the second not the first statement. Hence my statement about ignoring the first statement. 

 

Also the point both Cynique and I made explicitly stated focusing on the mind. 

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@Cynique

You make good points about us needing to adjust queen. The reality is that we were forced into this line of thinking. I was blown away when I discovered that during slavery the black woman was forced to wear something over her hair to make it appear more bearable for white people to be around. Weaves and wigs were never something our ancestors willingly wanted to wear at first. They were told that their hair was too disgusting and reprehensible and white people forced our ancestors into believing that they held a superior beauty. And if we didn't understand the history of what was done to us, looking at how much we value other beauty over our own, one could be misled into believing that propaganda.

 

Psychology is the greatest weapon that has been used on black people. The arrangement of systematic supremacy convinces black people that we are the problem and that we don't fit in. It has worked this way since it's inception. One day our grandchildren will reflect on our social media and magazines of this era and they will laugh at how lost we were, the same way we are so astonished when we learn about the behavior of our own ancestors.

 

Though it may appear that I obsess over things like hair, I believe I am actually obsessing more over popular and accepted behavior that I believe needs to be challenged on all fronts. I would never put down a sista because she wears weave, but I would challenge the psychological thought processes that lead to a black woman who wears weave that doesn't remotely reflect her natural hair and in too many cases I see that the hair is hidden and if it's accidentally revealed, then it is an embarrassment. There is nothing embarrassing about my hair or yours. We should wear our hair proudly.

 

 

@Delano Beauty is fundamentally a perspective. What is beautiful to you may not be beautiful for me and vice versa. The point of this post was to clarify that Black women are beautiful enough.  This means that black women are beautiful without anything aiding them in that beauty. As we have already established in this thread, Black women who wear weave are still beautiful and I am not saying otherwise. I am focusing on how black women perceive their own beauty. I believe in cases where attractive women wear weaves, they do not lose that beauty when they take off their weaves, but... in my humble opinion, beautiful black women enhance their beauty when they take off weaves.

 

I think it has been repeatedly explained how this conversation goes deeper than hair. I don't believe that is so hard to understand. I do believe that it would be (reckless is a better word) to discount the fact that this conversation is a little deeper than just someone changing the appearance of their hair. I also believe you understand exactly why this conversation is deeper than just hair, so I won't even insult you by explaining to you all the ways in which it's about more than hair brother. 

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48 minutes ago, Pioneer1 said:

@Pioneer1

Quote

"You can't adjust nor adapt to systematic destruction.

There is a well researched and well funded agenda to destroy the self-esteem and image of African people not only in this nation but around the globe.  What Nubian is detailing in this thread only covers a FRACTION of what's really going on.
There is even an agenda to marginalize the well established patterns and syntax of AfroAmerican speech/grammar in this nation's educational institutions."

- So true

 

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2 hours ago, Cynique said:

And, don't fool yourself, natural hair requires a lot of care and attention and products to maintain.

 

LOL! Oh trust me I know. This is why I no longer move my mouth to express an opinion on what Black women should do with their hair -- that and the fact that you and @Mel Hopkins beat me senseless for doing it 🙂

 

2 hours ago, Cynique said:

It's presumptuous to think they are all bamboozled and brain washed.


I don't think so Cynique. This subject has already been studied and researched in great depth.  I've previously shared information this research.  You recall the book I shared previously Subliminal Seduction. The problem is today marketers are FAR more effective at controlling our behavior, because they have access to us 24 hours a day and they literally know more about us they we know about ourselves.  Surely you know people who are unable to put their phone down for 5 minutes because they have been braining washed into this behavior.  The phone is the first thing they look at in the morning and the last thing they put down before falling asleep. Some people are on there phone while using the bathroom and while making love.  This is not normal, or even sane behavior, but it becoming normalized. 

 

You give us far more credit than we deserve in our ability to stave off this constant onslaught -- indeed most of us are so blind to what is happening that we'll argue tooth and nail they they are not being influenced.

 

2 hours ago, Cynique said:

We all have certain conventional tenets we don't attack.  

 

In my book none of my beliefs are beyond critique -- otherwise why would I be listening to any of y'all 🙂

 

 

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2 hours ago, NubianFellow said:

I also believe you understand exactly why this conversation is deeper than just hair, so I won't even insult you by explaining to you all the ways in which it's about more than hair brother. 

@NubianFellow

Maybe you shouldn't be condescending when you are missing the point. That both Cynique and I have attempted to convey to you. 

 

 

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.

This is someone who has had a negative experience using weave. Just one of many stories. In my opinion, as a bald woman her beauty is far more noticeable and superior to that junk that was unhealthy and damaging her head and ripping her skin open. I hope there is no one who wants to justify this behavior as if it is only a fashion statement. I think we all know it is way more deeper than being fashionable.

 

There is also the other argument of how hard it is to maintain natural hair. I would have to ask a black woman if her purpose for wearing weave is due to how hard it is to maintain her natural hair, then does that mean that she will not maintain her hair if she wears a wig or a weave? And if not, is that healthy for her hair?

 

 @DelanoBrother, I was not trying to be condescending towards you. I was being genuine. I also understand the points you were making and there is truth in what each of you have stated. I just don't fully agree with your opinions, and that's okay. I have actually learned as well which is one thing I love about engaging with my people. I like to understand where they are coming from and I believe I understand where you guys are coming from. I just don't completely agree with your views concerning this discussion.

@Delano I believe you are saying that "Black people should be more concerned with the content of their mind rather than the conditions of their hair." I don't think there is a hidden meaning in this statement and I agree that our thinking is of utmost importance. I also believe that how we behave and assert ourselves is a mirror of our thinking.

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11 hours ago, Troy said:

You give us far more credit than we deserve in our ability to stave off this constant onslaught -- indeed most of us are so blind to what is happening that we'll argue tooth and nail they they are not being influenced.

 

11 hours ago, Troy said:

Surely you know people who are unable to put their phone down for 5 minutes because they have been braining washed into this behavior. 

Does brainwashing always exploit people?  if they are seduced into buying something  which brings them a lot of enjoyment and fulfillment, how bad is that?  Does anybody have to be brainwashed into buying a convenience like a phone?   Who is brainwashing the person when they can't part with the phone?  Simple explanations for complicated problems don't always  jibe. 

 

Talk is cheap.  When all this gaseous garrulousness dissipates, what remains? A group of guys in agreement, brainwashed by each other's rhetoric with no way to make things different   Do i care?  Umm, not really.  Gotta go wash the over abundant crop of hair blooming on my head. My granddaughter is coming to corn row it so the wig that saves me time and money and that i was undoubtedly brainwashed into buying, will fit better when i go out into the world.  Okaaaay?   😜 

 

 

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9 hours ago, Cynique said:

Does brainwashing always exploit people?

 

In a word, yes.  Because they have given up control and given it to someone else.  The is the definition of exploitation.

 

9 hours ago, Cynique said:

Does anybody have to be brainwashed into buying a convenience like a phone? 

 

Come on Cynique, you know that is not what I'm talking about.  A phone is a tremendous convince and the new ones are a marvel of technological development.

 

Suggesting this is just a guy thing is a cop out too, for their are women that feel the same way.  Just because you don't care about the subject does not mean it is unimportant.

 

Surely you are not suggesting that people using their phones obsessively, as I've described, is a good thing and or of little consequence?  

 

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I will never forget, how one day on the 6 o'clock news one day, a few years ago, the reaction of a national news reporter. He was an African AMerican man and sitting next to him was a Blonde-haired,  White woman, anchor news reporter. And for some reason, the subject of Black women wearing hair weaves came up briefly. The Black man jokingly said, that he could easily tell when Black women are wearing hair weaves or hair extentions, and the news woman responded and said, "Really? I am wearing hair weaves and, I have always been wearing hair extensions because my hair is very thin." LOL. I will never forget that Black man's reaction. His head snapped to the left, and his jaw became unhinged. He was so shocked. And the White woman news anchor continued to look straight forward into the camera, with a slight smile and he said, "REally?" ... ANd, he said nothing else, he was just speechless... LOL.

 

Some Black men are so shallow and do not even realize how they have been conditioned to view Black women in a negative light and they are used as tools to oppress Black women for issues that are not even thought of in any other culture. Black African women have been depicted in ancient times wearing braided hair extensions and wigs and, White [ie ASiatic] women have also been depicted in ancient times doing the same. I have roomed with several White girls and etc. and know that they wear hair extensions a lot, but they do not become ridiculed on the level that Black women have been in sitcoms and such. Today, just about every White women and non-African actresses you see on television probably has hair extensions because their hair can get very thin. The actress beauty queen, Daisy Fuentas [sp] became a norm on tv as she demonstrated how easy it is for straight-haired women to put in hair extensions. 

 

It is so sad to see how some Black men have been used to exploit Black women. I do believe though, that some Black people have an obssession for wanting to have non-African traits though, not only when it comes to hair, but other things too, and I believe that this should definitely be addressed. But in many regards, women wear wigs and hair extensions as an enhancement and not because of having issues with SElf-Hatred.    

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@Chevdove Good points. I have to be truthful with you and say that I don't care if white women wear weaves. They don't have the same history and past as black people do and the decision making process for them is a lot different than the thinking processes that are present in black people. We all know they wear weaves and fake hair more than anyone, but most of the time they are wearing hair very similar to our own because they have the belief that their own natural hair is the most beautiful hair.

 

When is the last time you heard about or seen a black woman buy black textured and bragged about it being 100 percent African hair? Probably never. So we cannot deny the element of self-hatred that must be present in the thinking of a black woman when she decides her appearance or a black man when he decides he wants to turn his skin completely white. In regions where this behavior is most prevalent the people who commit these crimes are quick to say it's only a fashion statement and we can wear whatever color skin we want or in cases of hair, can wear whatever styles they want, but we know these ideals are rooted in something much more deeper and complex than just simply choosing a style.

 

Black men who oppose black women who wear weaves are basically proclaiming that we want our women just the way they are. We want our women to appreciate themselves as much as we do. I'm not saying we are completely awake and free of conditioning ourselves, but we are among the first to wake up and notice the man behind the curtain. And we greatly oppose this thinking.

 

You pointed out that black women have been ridiculed over their hair. This is true. You must also understand that other races and cultures of people try their best to hide that they are wearing the weaves and extensions and don't give these things the same energy as black women. Black women are a lot more outspoken about the fact that they wear weaves and will talk about wearing weaves as commonly as someone else will talk about what type of dress they are going to wear. It is usually rare for a black woman to actually pass off her weave as her own natural hair. Many black women will boast about the fact that they paid thousands of dollars for their hair and have the best weaves on the market. No one else exhibits that behavior.

 

Furthermore, from my own perspective, I actually believe that the black men who defend weave or don't oppose it in any way are the real culprits of exploiting black women. I also feel that if all black men just go along with black women wearing weaves then black women will never be ashamed and will feel no need to correct this behavior eventually. Yes, it may be a form of a shaming tactic, but this response to black women's weave which has become more popular has led to a natural hair movement and more women than ever going natural and stop spending their money on weaves and start to embrace their naturally beautiful kinky hair. At this moment in time we are looked at as the enemies, but once this terrible fad runs it's course and black women become more empowered, this will definitely become a highlight of our culture and will be immortalized in our history books and comedy for a long time to come.

 

"Remember when black women were still sleep and put those ridiculous weaves in their hair?"

 

We all wake up at our own accord and though this behavior doesn't bother me personally, I am very eager to see it go away finally which will be a sign that black people are one more step closer to claiming our throne over the planet and advancing our people to places that seem impossible in this present moment in time.

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5 hours ago, Troy said:

In a word, yes.  Because they have given up control and given it to someone else.  The is the definition of exploitation.

So i was brainwashed into buying a wig  whose convenience has been well worth the purchase.  Gullible me.

 

5 hours ago, Troy said:

Come on Cynique, you not that is not what I'm talking about.  A phone is a tremendous convince and the new ones are a marvel of technological development.

Well, you are the one who decided to use a phone as an example.  Choose your examples better and don't depend upon me to read your mind.  

 

5 hours ago, Troy said:

Suggesting this is just a guy thing is a cop out too, for their are women that feel the same way.  Just because you don't care about the subject does not mean it is unimportant.

I was speaking about this panel. Until Chevdove joined in, everybody who discussed and agreed upon this subject was a guy except me. And nobody said the subject wasn't important.  But it is worth noting that no one came up with a viable solution.  Just redundant conversation between people commiserating with each other.  

 

And i ask you, when has brainwashing not existed?  It is interchangeable with exploitation, indoctrination, and propaganda.  We are just being subjected to a version of it that is aligned with the times.  Brainwashing is a consequence of living in a capitalistic consumer society. And i'm sure you will agree that it will be the source of our doom! But continue the dialogue.  Since it's such a effective tool, maybe this brain trust can come up with a way to brainwash the people who are brainwashing the masses.  Whatever. Excuse me, while I go look out the window at the pure snow that is inundating my environment as the temperatures plunge into record-breaking sub zero degrees. They're talking about it on the TV, brainwashing the dumb audience with subliminal suggestions in order to make them think they need shovels.  😬 I am leaving this discussion in Chevdove's hands.  She is doing a good job of giving it a woman's perspective.  

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@Cynique Let me ask you sista, why would you choose a wig over a head wrap? They both cover the hair so what makes a wig a better choice? Head wraps actually look 1000 times better in my opinion. Or you could simply just wear a hat, though in my opinion, black hair is beautiful when it's nappy and kinky. Of course, it's a sin to have nappy hair if you're black, which is ironic since our hair is naturally nappy. Can you imagine a world where white people didn't wear their natural hair and you rarely seen a white person show their natural hair? It almost seems comical. The only reason why it's not comical to me is because we live in a world where this is perfectly acceptable among black people. And we are told to just go with the flow and not challenge these behaviors or ideas.

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2 hours ago, Cynique said:

I was speaking about this panel. Until Chevdove joined in, everybody who discussed and agreed upon this subject was a guy except me. 

I guess I am either not a guy or I disagree with this post.

 

@NubianFellowWhy not respect and listen to other people's choices. 

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@Delano I do respect everyone's choices. But if we don't challenge each other's opinions, critique views and gain different perspectives to form new insight, then there is no need for black people to ever talk about issues that we face collectively. Can I not respect someone while I challenge their ideas at the same time? We are adults here and not sensitive children who get triggered every time we disagree with someone else. That's why I feel comfortable engaging with my people about these kinds of issues and giving my opinion as well. Let's face it, brother, if I didn't feel comfortable engaging with my people in this manner, it would be because I felt that it was pointless and were doomed.

 

But we are listening to each other's opinions and gathering information. In my book, that's very progressive. I can only hope that other's will be open minded as well as we attempt to understand more about our collective behavior. I have read all of your posts and comments on this subject and have reflected on every statement you have made as well and have been impacted by your views, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. Isn't this the beauty of us being able to shoot the breeze by engaging in these types of discussions?

 

At the end of the day we are all mature and intelligent enough to have discourse as black adults with our own personal opinions on various topics. I think the bigger problem would be if we all agreed on everything. It would also make these types of engagements dull in my opinion, because we would not learn and would not be presented with new information and ideas, which is the beauty of when we engage.

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2 hours ago, NubianFellow said:

Let me ask you sista, why would you choose a wig over a head wrap? They both cover the hair so what makes a wig a better choice? Head wraps actually look 1000 times better in my opinion. Or you could simply just wear a hat, though in my opinion, black hair is beautiful when it's nappy and kinky. Of course, it's a sin to have nappy hair if you're black, which is ironic since our hair is naturally nappy. Can you imagine a world where white people didn't wear their natural hair and you rarely seen a white person show their natural hair? It almost seems comical. The only reason why it's not comical to me is because we live in a world where this is perfectly acceptable among black people. And we are told to just go with the flow and not challenge these behaviors or ideas.

I am a little miffed that you would request an explanation for something that is so obvious.  In spite of your opinion, head wraps are not my thing.  I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one. They are what's comical to me. The wigs i wear replicate the way i wore my natural hair. But since i am now old and retired i don't spend a lot of time or money fussing with my hair and i take the easy way out. I am well aware of your fixation on the significance of black women wearing their hair natural in order to make a defiant statement to the white world but, as previously mentioned, i don't relate to Afro-centrism and feel no obligation to do so.  To me, it's a superficial affectation.  I prefer to debate white folks when it comes to black grievances, not parade around showing off my frizzy tresses expecting them to be be filled with respect.  And , yes, rejecting natural hair is, indeed, about going with the flow - of manageable hair as opposed battling unruly kinks.  If that offends you, sorry. I do me, because i am who i am; my own individual.  Below are pictures of me in wigs.  The color of my hair is now gray which is as natural, as i get. And if the way i look in my wigs offends you, well so be it.

 

Image may contain: Connie Bradley, smiling, closeup       Image may contain: Connie Bradley, smiling, standing and outdoor

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Nubian you are being dishonest whether this is conscious or not . You are suggesting Cynique should follow your suggestion of what to wear. Even though she has explained why she wears a wig. I read critically. You have said the proper order is for the Black Man to lead and the Black Woman to follow. 

You are correct about a war. Except the war is about belief and ideology. 

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