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I don't like to tell other grown people what to do about their
offsprings, but obviously all your "talks" didn't have an impact
on him. When I first started reading your post I was thinking
that they were doing that the whole time, sagging. I didn't
even know there was a word for that. I just call it pants
hanging down.
Anyway, I have a son, my only child. He is in his forties now.
I been through it with that boy so I have some first-hand
experience. I won't even go into what all happened with
him because I would be here all day telling that story.
If he disrespected me the way yours did to you, when he
got out of the car to pump the gas, I would have drove off
and left his Black sagging pants hanging down sorry ass
standing there trying to figure out how to get back home.
And then I would have cancelled all my funding for his
education since that seems to have been a waste, then
I would have put his ass out of my house. That way he
could see how far he gets in life sagging his pants and
all the other juvenile delinquent things they do.
Because they don't understand talking to. Sometimes
you have to demonstrate through actions, even if it
hurts and breaks your own heart.
Years ago I drove my Husband to the Veteran's hospital
for a doctor's appointment, and he was arguing with me
about something or the other, I don't even remember what
it was.
We hadn't been married that long at the time, probably
less than a year. We had known each other for a long time,
over twenty years before we got married. But just as friends.
After he got out of the car I drove back home without him.
He made his way home and I promise you, he didn't argue
or talk back to me nearly as much after that because he got
the point that I don't allow people to disrespect me.
We were all young once and didn't know better. That is
part of life and maturing. And it is different from grown
women who have the means to do better, to be out here
dressed like common trash.
I was fortunate, from an early age my Mother dressed
me well. I got to order things from the catalogs as well
as shopping in person at nice clothing stores.
Not upscale dress shops, but regular shops at the mall
like Lerner's. If you remember that.
I also learned to sew from my Aunt, who was a master
seamstress, I can make my own clothes from patterns
and finished clothes, as well as tailoring store bought
items. Sewing is an important skill that more women
should practice. Most women don't own a sewing
machine these days and that's too bad.
Early in my adulthood, someone gave me several silk
dresses, and that began my collection of silk outfits
that I'm still working on today. Silk pieces will last a
lifetime if cared for properly and if you maintain your
size.
Once I was on my own and started my career working
for the federal government, at the age of 22, I began
curating my professional wardrobe.
I typically wore dresses and skirt suits to the office.
Sometimes I wore pant suits, but not that much.
I bought some things that were "trendy" when I first
started buying my own clothes, but I quickly caught
on that trends change and read a couple of book on
how to select and purchase quality clothes in classic
styles.
You choose natural fabrics like silk, cotton, wool,
cashmere, linen, and blends. Some manmade and
natural blends are acceptable if it makes the item
easier to care for, wrinkle resistant, etc.
You should ensure that the seams are straight, fabric
patterns line up, buttons and button holes are good
quality, and obviously you want the clothes to fit
correct and hang properly.
And of course you want your clothes to be
comfortable and suit your style.
The other thing that I have learned over the years is
that you don't have to spend a ton of money to have
a nice wardrobe.
You can find things on clearance, on sale, you can
find nice things at consignment shops, eBay, etc.
Most of my clothes I bought brand new, but I did
get some designer outfits from consignment shops
and I got some really good deals. In case you are
not familiar with consignment shops, that is where
rich people take their gently worn clothes, some
things they never even wore at all still has the tags,
and that way they can get a few dollars from it as
opposed to just throwing it in the trash.
I would take that stuff to the dry cleaners and it
would be good as brand new.
Once you decide how you want to present yourself,
it's not that hard to find quality clothes that you can
be proud to wear, and that attract attention and
admiration for the right reasons.
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