Don’t Bring Home a White Boy

A couple of days ago I posted a video (below) of Karen Hunter and Karyn Langhorne Folan, who are the publisher and author, respectively, of the book Don’t Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out.

I believe the most evolved people, do not consider race as a factor in determining who they deal with.  Unfortunately we don’t live in such a highly evolved world, or country.   As a result, “swirling”, as Karen Hunter describes it, matters a great deal. 

Marriages, which are difficult enough to maintain under ideal conditions, are made even more difficult for people who choose to marry outside their so called “race”.

One day, I hope, people will read historical accounts of our time and wonder how we could be so backward in perspectives on race.   I fully appreciate some people might find this opinion difficult to reconcile coming from someone who runs a “race based” website dedicated to books by and about people of African descent. 

The following question would be valid:  If race does not matter, why do you see the need for a website ostensibly focused on books by about Black people?

Unfortunately, my opinion is one thing and reality is another.  If you did a Google search on “miscegenation” or even “mongrel” you will find a many websites that claim that “race mixing” is destroying the country.  People are afraid and threatened by whole concept race mixing.   In fact, many of these web sites use the Bible to support the idea that race mixing is wrong.

Further, the images of Black people are so once sided, negative and marginalized that Black people need as many disparate opinions and ideas in the public as possible. is just one more voice.

The past Friday a my discussion boards were spammed with so much racist pornography, images and text, that it was rendered useless.  I know from first hand experience that there are those that want to silence this voice.

The following video was recorded on July 31, 2010 during the National Book Club Conference in Atlanta, GA.  Enjoy.


Troy D. Johnson is the President, founder and webmaster of, LLC (The African American Literature Book Club). Launched in March of 1998, has grown to become the largest and most frequently visited website dedicated to books and films by and about people of African descent.

6 thoughts on “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy

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  • February 8, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    When my girls and I discuss dating around the diversity pool it’s like opening Pandora’s Box. Questions and stereotypes start flying all over the place. One says, white men are too pale, (uh, he’s white? What if he said you were too black?). Another says, Asian men are too short, (hmm, don’t we have vertically challenged brothers? What if Asian men said that black women were too tall, too thick?). A few think that “it” (you know) with men of other races won’t be as gratifying (as though “it” with Black men is guaranteed gratification).

    And why is this only taboo for Black women? I mean, (for example only) Asian women date Black men. White women date Asian and Hispanic men. Everybody is dating everybody and Black women are sitting around tossing out stereotypes (smile, just my observation). Maybe the reason some Black women don’t date around the world is because we did not see our mothers, aunts, or grandmothers doing it, while many of our fathers, uncles, and grandfathers did. And you never know, perhaps your son will (another observation).

    The truth is that I’ve dated a little of this and a little of that over the years. For me, it’s quite okay. I guess dating across the globe has had something to do with me not noticing/caring so much about the supposed Black man shortage that’s been going on since forever. Now don’t take me as a walking billboard for actively seeking outside my race, I do prefer the presence of a good solid brother hanging around my lily pad. However, a good man is a good man, I don’t care if he’s purple—if he’s saved, sane, smart, and sweet to me—I’m taking him (period).

    And I agree with you, running AALBC to support Black authors and the Black publishing industry has nothing to do with dating outside your race. Your very valid post was written in response to Don’t Bring Home A White Boy.

  • February 9, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Hey Nakia,
    I appreciate you sharing your story here. I have never dated anything other than a Black woman. When I was younger I was pretty racist myself and would never have considered it.

    As I got older, even though I worked in virtually all white environments, the circle of friends, that I cultivated were mostly Black.

    But is was during this time that I realized people are people. I’ve met many white people who fit the cultural stereotype of Blackness better than some Black people and vice versa. The idea of judging people based upon their color alone is as repulsive to me now has judging someone by any other characteristic that they can not control.

    Anyone who is fortunate enough to find someone else who truly loves them is very fortunate, blessed. Why limit your potential but cuting off the sections of humanity?

    White racism is just as bad a Black racism, though I have to admit I have a lot more simpathy for the Black racist –’cause it is condition is much more understandable 🙂

  • September 16, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Wow, I’m sorry to hear you experienced such ignorance in response to your post. Very sad considering this is 2012! My preference is black men, but I’m the product of an interracial couple and I celebrate love in whatever color, mix, or match it comes in. If I made a connection with a Hispanic man, or Asian man, or white man that’s what would be important to me. I’ve seen mixed marriages fail, and I’ve seen them succeed, just as I’ve seen same-race couples have long marriages and others have quick divorces. My son is dating a white girl who I think is great for him. My issue is with those who look to only one race because they are prejudiced against another. Don’t be exclusive to one because you “hate” the other. Open your heart to all. Because once you get passed the skin color, everyone is simply trying to make it through each day as best they can. My novel, “The Color of My Soul” looks at race and what it means to be mixed, to be Native American or to be white. My hope is that in the end, it doesn’t really matter.

    • September 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

      Melanie, good to hear from you — I would never have guessed you had a child old enough to be dating (I bet you get that a lot huh?). Thanks or sharing your story. Here is a link to your novel The Color of My Soul: By the way how did you stumble across this Blog post?


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